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« Wake Up, Memphis!!! | Main | Anticlimatic, As Usual »
Tuesday
Jul222008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 5 Recap

Hi kids! Here we go once again with another episode of Big Brother, aka The Jessie’s Muscles Show. I predict lots of whining tonight…and not just by me.
After the recap, we start as usual with the reactions to the nominations of Steven and Dan, who says that his alliance has completely imploded, leaving himself, “the former Mayor”. What? Steven wasn’t surprised, but says his feelings were hurt. The jab about not visiting his room is what really pisses him off, though. It’s “b.s. He had to rationalize it some way.”
Of course, Queen Libra is happy. “The house wants Steven to go this week, and I agree because he aligned himself with Brian from the outset. Then on top of that, he’s a stronger competitor.”
Jessie is still patting himself on the back because he’s the youngest person in the house “by three years”, yet has won every competition. “I still don’t have a target on my back.” Oh really? He offers to play chess with Dan, but he wants to go up to the HOH to talk about his nomination. Jessie tells him that he has nothing to worry about, because Steven “shot himself in the foot”. Dan is happy that he has a “foot in the door” with Jessie, who babbles some more about how Dan’s loyalty to Brian means something to him. Funny how that doesn’t work with Brian’s other friends.
Downstairs, our girl Angie comes into the bedroom to cheer up Steven. Um, I don’t know how she can help a gay guy, but I know one straight guy who would love a bedroom visit. Steven tells her to not be sad, and that he’s ok. Yet in the diary room, he’s close to tears.
When she tells him that she feels like “they’re cutting my legs off”, he reminds her that she is in danger. “If they stay in power…you’ll probably be next.” Say it ain’t so!!! Angie admits in the diary room that she needs to “distance myself from all things Brian”.
Uh oh, I can tell by the music that we have a cheesy segment coming on. Yep, we do, as we now see Michelle giving Jessie a pedicure. Oh boy. Michelle says that she needs to find somebody “to do this stuff for me”. When Jessie asks if she had higher expectations for the rest of the cast, she tells him she was hoping for a “showmance…but you have a girlfriend”. Excuse me while I head to the bathroom. Jessie has a girlfriend, but somehow is single. Michelle claims in the diary room that she’s always had guys as best friends because she relates to them better.
Memphis makes a rare onscreen appearance to talk about how at some point the eight people aligned together are going to have some problems. For some reason, though, his best bud in the house is King Jessie. Memphis says that while he doesn’t mind that the others see them occasionally talk, he doesn’t want them to know about their deal. I wouldn’t either if I was him. Ugh, another team name – Team B.A. (Bad Ass).
Although they don’t want to be seen together, the two are now outside bringing our girl Angie into their group. Memphis tells her that “I think you’re a mentally strong player, and I think there are a lot of people in here who are mentally not ok.” Angie tells them that while she’s talked to a few people, she has “nothing set in stone right now”. Yeah, we know. Memphis repeats in the diary room what we already heard, but adds that he thinks she’s “very focused, and I like that”.
I can tell by the acoustic guitar that we’re going to move on to this episodes “Very Special Segment”, and of course I’m right. This time, the talk is about the New Orleans hurricane, and whether Renny lost any possessions. She says she lost some, but goes on and on about the family and friends that are important to her. Steven says, though, that the conversation helped change his opinion of her.
Now we’re back in the kitchen, and Keesha is telling Steven that he can’t leave. “Well, then you have to vote for me.” Um, she doesn’t want you to stay that badly. He asks her if she’d take him off the block if she won POV, but she’s pretty non-committal.
King Jessie now gathers the mostly sleeping troops to pick the POV players. It’s funny how the smartest guy in the house can barely read his script. Jessie picks first and gets Michele, while Dan gets the House Guest choice and for some reason picks Libra. Ok, I get it. He wants the nominees to stand to ensure his safety. Steven chooses his buddy Keesha. Jerry is selected as the host, and of course he’s happy.
Keesha begins to make a push to save Steven, but is shot down by Queen Libra and the other hens. “Why would you do that?” Keesha says that she’s become close to him because of everything he’s been through. Michelle is pissed. “What the hell is she thinking?”
When Keesha leaves the room, April starts going in on how she can’t trust her. “She’s best friends with him. She’s best friends with us. She’s a floater” Michelle calls her an idiot. I guess it takes one to know one.
Michelle immediately runs up to tell Memphis and the King about Keesha’s desire to save Steven. They’re not happy, although Memphis is sort of the voice of reason. Michelle says she wants her out soon because she doesn’t trust her.
After commercials, it’s time for Hulk Hogan…I mean Jerry…to announce it’s POV time. Everybody runs outside, and they are all “amazed” by the giant driver’s licenses on display for each player. Why, I don’t know. Dan says he needs to throw the competition to “gain a lot”. The game involves choosing license plates that spell out certain phrases.
Dan screws up the first phrase, and is immediately out. Don’t be so obvious, idiot. They get to work on the same puzzle, and Jessie also is wrong. Truthfully, this competition is too tough for anybody that’s playing.
Keesha finally gets a correct answer, but they all appear confused by the next one. Steven screws up, and he’s out of not only the competition but the show tomorrow night. Michelle gets it right, though, and you’d swear she just won the Publisher’s Clearing House contest. Settle down, moron.
We still haven’t heard from a visibly confused Libra. Steven claims that he made direct eye contact with Keesha multiple times, and he gave her “puppy dog eyes” to help spur her on.
But we have a little swerve in the game. The next puzzle actually had a prize – a week pass from slop. Libra suddenly wakes up, and we get to hear in the diary room (again) how much she hates slop. Yes, we know. The catch, though, is that if you win the slop pass you’re out of the veto competition. Hmmm, how much do you want to bet Steven is now screwed?
Michelle claims to have it figured out, and begs Keesha or Libra to claim it. Libra also thinks she has it, but she refuses to blurt it out. “Slop is making Libra ago insane”, says Keesha about Libra. “I don’t know why Libra would not take the slop pass.” Meanwhile, Michelle is still babbling, which she claims was great game play.
Finally, the time expires, and we mercifully move on to another puzzle. Libra chimes in, but is completely lost. It’s now between Keesha and Michelle. Libra says on the sidelines that she doesn’t trust Keesha…but it doesn’t matter, as she messes up the next puzzle. Michelle is the winner!
Steven claims “it’s now do or die.” Um, I think it’s a little late for that. Dan says that anything Steven does is just going to piss off people, so he “has nothing to worry about”.
With the contest over, Jessie is now pissed that Keesha didn’t take the slop pass. “If I was on slop, and the plan is going according to plan, how much more logic do you need to use?” Wow, talk about a sentence that makes no sense.
Libra is also not happy with Keesha (imagine that). She claims that Keesha tried to tell her to take it, but she didn’t because they lost as a team. (Another nonsensical analysis from the Queen.) Keesha says that slop isn’t bothering her as much as Libra. When Libra leaves the room, Steven tells her that she probably shouldn’t be seen hanging out with him. “The game doesn’t mean that much to me”, she replies. Yeah, we’ve noticed. Steven tells her that they were all second-guessing her on the sidelines, and that they “all don’t give a crap about you”.
For some strange reason, Keesha decides to confide in Renny about this situation. I have to admit, I’m happy to hear Renny proclaim that “she (Libra) needs to go”. In the diary room, Renny says she loves when there’s drama in the house “because it takes all the attention away from me”. I think Renny’s a much better player than we’ve given her credit.
Keesha decides to confront the house, and informs all of them that if she had won she was not going to change the nominations. For some reason, Michelle is more concerned about adjusting Keesha’s bra straps than what she has to say. Libra gives her a Maury-ish head bob, and plays dumb about the sidelines babble. “I don’t even know what was said”, adds Michelle. “I think I keep proving myself over and over, but I keep getting shit talked about me”, Keesha whines. They continue to deny that it even happened, and the blame is shifted to her informants. Meanwhile, Renny is happily listening in another room.
Up in the diary room, Keesha tells Memphis and Jessie that Libra is out of control. “She causes so much drama. She’s a troublemaker. She told everybody that I was campaigning to save Steven. She’s setting me up…she straight up lies.” Finally, somebody has figured her out!
Of course, CBS is using this segment to make us believe that the veto may actually be used to backdoor Libra. Jessie says he wants to convince Michelle that this is the right move, and that they have the votes to make this happen.
Now we have the moment I’ve been waiting for – Jerry and Renny versus Libra. Keesha stirs the pot again by telling Jerry and Renny how Libra constantly stirs the pot. Renny tells Jerry that she’s been talking smack about how he was the reason she’s on slop. Jerry’s not happy.
Oh good, the clip is shown that proves Libra did place the blame on Jerry and Renny. Jerry says this may cause his departure, but he’s had enough. “I’m going after her. That’s bullshit. Bitch. She blames everything on everything.” He’s actually pretty funny in his depiction of her.
Libra is lying around in bed with April, Michelle, and Keesha when Jerry storms in and confronts her. Immediately, Libra’s on the defensive. “What are you talking about? I did not say that.” Ugh. Just like with Keesha’s outburst, her method of deflecting the criticism is demanding she be told who was the person telling him these stories. “I DID NOT! I didn’t call you slow, old.” Meanwhile, my pal Renny is standing by herself having her morning coffee.
Oh boy, Libra screams at Jerry that it was April who was upset. You really can’t make this up. While Libra continues to scream, Jerry calmly walks to the bathroom and tells Steven and Dan that he knows what he’s doing.
Libra storms out after him, demanding that she be told “who said it”. She catches up with Jerry in the bathroom, where he says “the other old person told me”. Oh Jerry, why’d you sell out Renny? After a short confrontation, Libra goes into the bedroom to tell everybody that Renny was the source.
This pisses Renny off, and she storms into the room. “I didn’t say those words. Don’t you put words into my mouth!” Hehehehe. Libra does let it out that she said that the next time it should be balanced because they did have the two oldest people on their team. Isn’t that the same thing? Ugh. “What do you think that implies?”
We jump ahead a full 24 hours to find Steven begging Jessie to put up Libra, although the footage of Libra wiping her face leads us to believe it’s immediately after the fight. Jessie says that he needs to talk to Michelle. He goes down to get her, but Michelle wants nothing to do with this plan. “They’re not the ones with the power of veto.”
Steven tells her that if he puts her up and she is evicted, then she’ll be the hero of the house. Yes, he couldn’t be more correct with that analysis. Michelle doesn’t believe that’s the case because it’s coming from “the one person on the block”. She really can’t be that dumb.
Steven ups the ante a bit. “What if you take Dan off? Leave me on the block.” Michelle finds that idea “interesting”, and her little brain is clearly taxed.
It’s now time for the veto meeting, and you can probably figure out that all the foreshadowing we’ve seen for the past half hour is for nothing. We watch the scripted portion of Michelle staring at the pictures with the veto medallion around her neck, while everybody else sits outside. Both Steven and Dan babble that there’s an “air of uncertainty” but there really isn’t.
At the actual ceremony, Steven complains that his friendship with Brian has tainted his tenure in the house, and that things change by the hour. She should just do what she feels best. Dan admits to early mistakes, but says he “made his bed and can sleep in it”. He wants the “Portugeese Princess” to use the veto on him, but there are no hard feelings if she doesn’t.
Michelle acts intrigued by the speeches, but ultimately (and obviously) says she’s not going to use the veto. Dan is not too bummed, as he knows Steven’s going home. Steven, meanwhile, claims he’s going to continue to fight. “I really, really don’t want to go home.” Michelle says that people “will tell you what they want you to hear because they have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. I have everything to lose, and nothing to gain. Do I look stupid?” Um, you don’t want me to answer that. To be honest, though, this is a full house that’s stuck on stupid.

Reader Comments (10)

With Dan throwing the competition I think he deserves to GO!! You should never feel that safe in the house to throw the POV when you're on the BLOCK! OH how I wish these players would wise up and PLAY the Game!! UGH!!

I just needed to vent!
Thanks!!

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Why would someone who needs food so bad!!! not take the slop pass wowzer

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertrevor

Best recap yet, mostly because you rag on Michelle.


"Michelle claims in the diary room that she’s always had guys as best friends because she relates to them better"...she's totally a man, that's the twist AGrodner wouldn't tell us about.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterale

Michelle's antics during the veto made me scream in frustration.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScott

10 Things We Hate About Michelle. Oooo I am so tempted.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterale

Please do it, Ale!

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScott

If I was more proficient with working with video editing, I'd put together something to accompany your list.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScott

I'll work on it. There are just so many things, though. I'm pretty slow with videos and such too. :(

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterale

Does anyone know when the house guests on slop get to eat real food? Is it tonight at midnight?

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I think it is at midnight.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterale

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