Here we are with the first eviction of the season, and quite possibly the earliest surprise of the history of the show. Just yesterday, I was thinking about how this episode was bound to be so predictable that I could write the majority of this recap hours before it aired.
As the evening transpired last night, though, the script almost completely flipped. What was originally a typical “vote with the house” mantra has almost turned into anarchy, with the key players being the two people least likely to lead anybody to do anything. One sort of hatched the plan; the other may be the person who foils it tonight.
So here we go with the usual recaps and a cheesy Julie intro before leading right into the aftermath of Lydia being replaced by Braden as nominee. Ronnie claims to be the “biggest schemer here”. Seriously, he’s way too full of himself. Braden is confused, as usual. Russell babbles some nonsense, and Lydia couldn’t be happier with Russell, which Braden notices. He now knows she probably backstabbed him.
At the same time, Jeff knows that Braden’s nomination was a stab at him, and Jordan seems to be more upset about the nomination than Braden. Others come in to hug him, and Jordan complains about how “somebody is going around starting stuff about everybody”. Ronnie acts extremely nervous as they throw out a few names of conspirators. “Me and Laura are a hot mess”, Jordan complains. She’s got a point there.
Braden says that people are jealous that he’s a good competitor, and Jordan tells him that he needs to get out there and talk to people. Meanwhile, Chima feels great about her chances of staying in the house. “I’m just going to lay low.”
Casey asks Lydia how she’s feeling, and Lydia complains how her “friend” Jordan wasn’t upset about Lydia’s nomination but is bawling over Braden’s nomination. Oh, get over yourself.
Braden and Russell are now alone in the kitchen, and Braden is asked if he knew he was going to be put up. He confirms that he did, and in the diary room says he believes that Lydia betrayed him. Russell says he’s not convinced they have all the votes they need, so he says in the diary room that he’s trying to get Braden riled up enough to create a scene.
Sure enough, on a boring afternoon Kevin and Lydia are talking about their lives, and Braden interrupts them to complain about how they sold him out. Lydia denies that she set him up, although old footage shows her throwing out his name. Braden tells her to tattoo on her leg “week 2” or “week 3” because that’s when she’ll be leaving.
Things are relatively calm until Braden throws out Kevin’s name, and that sets Lydia off. “I’m being considerate to him, but you’re just a bitch and a skank.” Kevin says in the diary room that he doesn’t like it when people attack others, and we then see Lydia and Braden scream at each other, and then Kevin and Braden start yelling. (Actually, this is an extremely edited version of the fight.)
After commercials, we go back to Lydia entering the house right after her fight with Braden to scream at Jordan for awhile. Jordan looks confused, but that’s pretty normal. Remember, Lydia’s whole problem with Jordan is because she didn’t cry when she was nominated. Come on. Jordan gets even more confused as the conversation continues, but she runs into another room to further the fight. “I have not done one thing to you! I should not be in the middle of it!” Now Lydia claims to be the calm one. Ok, for that very moment you were, but that’s still a silly comment. Kevin adds that after what was said, he better not see Jordan talk to Braden.
Now Kevin and Lydia start yelling at Jeff, who has no clue what’s going on. This is just getting silly. Kevin claims that he may end up leaving because she’s friends with Jeff. His response is that by selling out Braden and Jeff, Lydia may now end up leaving soon. Finally, Lydia says she “is closed for the rest of the damned day”. Thank God.
Now Jordan has finally awakened a bit, realizing that since Braden is on her team his departure would hurt her. She then enlists Laura to help her save Braden, who seems to be open to the idea. “It’s time to take their reigns from them (athletes) and take control of the house.”
Laura then goes to Ronnie with this plan (big mistake), and he says it’s a good idea because he can “control” Michelle. He says in the diary room, though, that anything he does has to be good for him.
Jordan thinks she almost has enough votes, and just needs to get Casey’s vote. He listens to Jordan and Laura, but doesn’t commit. He claims to be the swing vote, and I guess he sort of is, but it’s another house guest who probably is the questionable vote.
Julie now greets the house guests, and asks the “athletes” about the fight between Russell and Jeff. Russell responds some nonsense about “unsaid things”, and that he doesn’t expect a “postcard on my birthday”. Ugh. Jeff’s response is that “his mother told him that if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything”. This brings out a laugh from everybody.
The Jordan/Lydia fight is brought up next, and Jordan answers in her usual nonsensical way. “But we’re fine now”. Are you?
When we return from commercials (and enough with this Julia Child movie promo), we get to hear Jessie babble from the HOH bedroom. He’s asked about how he’s doing this year compared to last, and he laughs at his own joke about the “target being a little bigger than last summer”. What? Julie then asks who is the brains of the athletes, and while saying that Russell is smart “I’m not going to sell myself short here”. Hmmmm. Thankfully, that was a short segment.
It’s time for the nominees to plead their cases, and Braden is up first. For the first time this season, he actually talks in complete sentences! He admits to mistakes, and says he wants to stick around to prove himself. Chima then gets up and complains how “short some of the memory spans are in here because my opponent called both of my very good friends (bleep) and (bleep). A vote for Braden is a vote for a racist.” Oh my. Julie calls it the most memorable speech ever given. I call it idiotic.
The votes start with Russell, who votes to evict Braden, as does Natalie. Jeff votes to evict Chima, as does Jordan. It’s now 2 -2 as we go to commercials. When we return, Kevin votes to evict Braden, while Laura votes to evict Chima. As expected, Lydia votes to evict Braden, and Michelle votes against Chima.
Now we get to the swing votes. Casey wants to evict Chima’s “melodramatic behind”, and Ronnie almost cries as he votes to evict Braden. Oh God, it’s a split decision, which means that Jessie is the deciding vote. Obviously, he chooses to boot Braden.
It’s the usual hugs and kisses as he grabs his bags, and in the background we see Lydia hugging Chima. The house is pretty subdued as we wait for the post-eviction interview with Braden, who Julie says whispered “we have a lot to talk about” as he walked in. Julie asks who he thinks sold him out, and Braden thinks it’s either Ronnie, Michelle, or Casey. He’s not surprised to hear that it’s Ronnie - “there’s something hiding behind that smirk…he’s a great liar”. Asked for one word to describe his stay, he responds “discombobulated”. We end with the dumb goodbye messages, which are the usual clichés.
As always, we head towards the end of the show with the HOH competition, which (as expected) is a question format called “Homecoming”. Using online polling, each team has to guess what “we” picked as “the most likely to…”. Jordan looks confused as the rules are read. Oh right, she always looks that way.
The first question is about which clique would skip school because of a zit. Laura correctly answers “populars”, and eliminates Chima. The next question is which clique would misspell “athlete”, and after a bit of confusion Jeff correctly answers and eliminates Kevin.
Question three is about which clique would “bail on the prom”, and Laura chooses the offbeats. She now eliminates Russell. The next question is about missing curfew because of Star Wars, and Casey correctly guesses the brains. Natalie is now eliminated.
They’re now asked which clique would most likely start a food fight. Laura incorrectly chooses athletes, and she’s eliminated. The next idiotic question is about naked inspirational speeches. Casey buzzes in, and correctly says athletes, and eliminates Jeff. They’re now out of players.
Who would spend the most time with a mirror is then asked, and Lydia eliminates Jordan by choosing the populars. The populars are now out. Ronnie then correctly answers about which group would most likely blow off a date to go shopping, and Casey is now out.
Question nine is about who would take first place in the high school talent show, and Michelle is correct by choosing the offbeats. Because they’re the only competitors left, Michelle and Ronnie now have to go against each other. The final question is which clique would most likely be missing from the yearbook, and Ronnie correctly chooses the offbeats. He’s the new Head of Household! Oh Lord, this will be an interesting week!
We conclude with one last look at the house, and the announcement that last year’s winner (Dan) will be coming in the house to surprise them. This last look is not real interesting, as they’re all just hanging out in the backyard.
See you Sunday!