It’s now time for Jordan to decide who she’s taking to the finals. Natalie is first to plead her case, and after a history lesson she says that they both stayed true to their partners. Now they’re friends (yeah, right), but no matter what they’ll still remain friends. “Please keep me in this game, Jordan.”
Kevin then gets up, and after saying he’ll keep things short, he says “please keep me in the house.” He claims he never did anything against her in the house, and that she’s “Gucci”. After being reminded that at the very least she’ll get $50,000, she needs to make the “half million dollar decision”. Jordan then gets up and says how much she hates to make this decision. She thinks that no matter what she’s destined for second place, but she has to go with her gut. She then evicts Kevin because he’s already won ten grand, and continues to go on about how awful she feels.
Jordan continues to try to explain to Kevin, and he says it’s ok. “It’s a good decision.” Natalie reminds him that he has to go, and he finally enters the studio to loud applause. We go back to the house, and they’re going through what they think will be the jury votes.
Julie starts in with what went wrong with Jordan, but Kevin says that he thinks she made a “smarter move”. He adds that he’s not mad at her. Julie then asks if booting Michelle over Jordan was a mistake. “I don’t know! No regrets, Julie. I had a blast. It was a dream of a lifetime. I‘ve been applying since the first season!” Julie ends the segment by asking what is going to influence his vote, and he says it’s how they played the game. We go out with sweet goodbye messages from both Jordan and Natalie.
After an extremely long commercial break, the jury members are brought in one by one. Jeff easily gets the biggest round of applause, although Russell’s ovation is also pretty nice. Julie then asks Jeff who is the person who will be joining them in the final jury spot. He says Kevin, and Lydia says she hopes it’s Natalie. (Who doesn’t?) Kevin is then introduced, and Lydia comments that “there’s two witches in the final two.” Julie then informs them that Jordan won the final HOH, and evicted Kevin.
It’s now time for jury questions, and as a group they got to come up with three questions. Kevin also gets to ask one question. Russell begins the questioning by asking Jordan about her strategy before she came in. She says that she told herself to “lay low, and not trust anyone.” She babbles on like a silly little valley girl, and that she decided to just “be herself” and “lay under the radar”.
Lydia has the second question, and asks Natalie who the biggest threat was to her. Natalie answers that it was Lydia, and it was because of her strong friendship with Jessie. Um, I’m not sure that’s a great answer. Lydia shakes her head.
Jeff then asks Jordan what her best move was, besides aligning with him. She says it was probably evicting Kevin, since everybody would be happy about Kevin voting out Jeff. “I would not have a shot.”
Michelle then asks Natalie about the age lie, and her engagement. Natalie babbles on about that the engagement is real, and that it was important for Michelle to inform everybody of the big news. The age question is not addressed at all.
Jessie then asks Jordan why she should get the money over Natalie, and she answers that she proved herself by winning the final two rounds of the HOH. “I didn’t have to depend on anybody else.”
Russell is then up again, and he asks Natalie why she deserves to win. She says she came in with a strategy, and that was to not be the strongest or weakest player, and to align herself with strong player. She also claims that she never backstabbed or betrayed anybody. Yeah, right. “I was true to my alliance.” Even the audience laughs at this.
Kevin then gets his question, and asks Jordan what she did better in the game than Natalie. She again babbles about laying low, and says that they both acted very similar. She doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Jordan and Natalie now have to give their final speeches. This should get interesting. Jordan goes first, and she again repeats about how she wanted to stay true to her alliances, and wanted everybody to just think of her as harmless. She says she’s very proud of herself, though, and that she has proven herself with her wins. “I didn’t need anybody else to help me. I think it showed I was a better competitor than I was playing off to be. I hope that you guys see that.” She adds that nothing was ever personal. Whoa, nice thighs!
Natalie then starts off by saying that she didn’t need to win competitions, and that Jeff putting her up with the coup d’etat proved that she was really playing the game. She also repeats how she never betrayed her alliance, and that she proved that by giving Ronnie a vote even when she knew he was going to be evicted.
Voting now starts with Jessie, and they all insert their keys with a final statement. Jessie just babbles “hakua matata” (I thought it was "coup d'etat"), and Lydia says to Jordan that she “loves a good blonde”. Russell says that he voted for the person played the best game, while Jeff tells Jordan that he’s very proud of her. Michelle says she’s voting for “the strongest female in this game”, and Kevin says he wanted to vote for “who was cuter, but you’re both cute so it’s strictly strategic”. Julie then announces that the seventh jury member is “America”, and she locks in “our” vote.
Before we get to the votes, though, we get a segment with Braden, Laura’s tatas, Ronnie, and Casey. After another lengthy clip package, they’re all introduced. Julie begins with asking Ronnie what surprised him the most, and he babbles about how he bows down to Natalie’s feet for her great lying. He tells Jordan that Natalie has lied to her more than he ever could. “Shut up!” He spills the beans on her age, and we hear Kevin yell “I knew it!” He then says that he’s made at Natalie for him being the only person in their alliance that wasn’t informed of the lie. “Week two would have been different if I had known I was the odd man out.”
Julie moves on to Casey, and he’s asked about the biggest mistake in the game. He says that it was Jeff believing Natalie and Kevin’s lie, and the “last minute lie” clip is then showed. Jeff is asked for his response, and Kevin looks nervous before Jeff tells him to relax. He claims that he’s not mad at either of them.
We move on to asking Braden about what surprised him the most, and he asks Jessie how he’s such a big pimp in the house. “You got all the girls in your bed. I’m taking notes all day.” Jessie says he was just trying to play the game “like Kevin”, but it was Kevin who could pull it off. Wait, no questions for Laura? Hmmmmm.
Oh wait, we get more chatter from the former HG’s. Laura’s tatas are asked about Chima, but she starts by applauding Jordan. Laura says that as a big fan of the show, she was “hurt” by Chima’s actions. “There are thousands of people out there in America that would have killed to still be in the house.” She adds that she felt bad for Kevin, Lydia, and Natalie as they lost an ally. Kevin says that he agrees with Laura.
Julie then asks about all the nasty stuff said about each other in the house, and we then see Ronnie’s infamous eviction of Michelle. She says that she knows Ronnie doesn’t really believe that to be the case, and that she really doesn’t know what she did to offend Ronnie. He apologizes, and says it was about a disagreement they had earlier that day…and that it was strategy to throw the rest of the house out.
Jessie is then asked about his relationship with Lydia, and his claim that it was platonic. We then see clips of their action under the covers, and Julie then reads the Webster’s definition of “platonic”. “Would you still say your relationship was platonic?” He doesn’t answer, of course, and Lydia is asked if this romance continued in the house. She also doesn’t answer, and Julie responds, “silence is golden, and also says a lot”. Good one! Julie notes that Russell looks shocked, and he had no clue this was going on.
Of course, we have to conclude with a question about Jeff and Jordan’s relationship. “We’ll see if she wins or not”, he replies to lots of laughter. Julie presses, and he says “we’ll see what happens outside of the house.” Jordan is asked for a response, and she just says that she agrees. Milking it a bit more, Julie asks the audience if Jordan should get to go to Hawaii with Jeff, but he just says she’s on the “short list”. Hahahaha!
It’s now time to pull the keys and FINALLY see who won this year’s game. America’s key is pulled first, and we voted for Jordan. Wow, Jessie voted for Jordan!!! We know Lydia also voted for Jordan. Russell voted for Natalie, though, but Jeff, of course, voted for Jordan! Jordan has won Big Brother!!!
Jordan is greeted by her family as she comes out, but we Jeff gets lost in the shuffle. The last two votes are shown, and Michelle voted for Jordan and Kevin voted for Natalie. Jordan says that she’s going to use the money to put a down payment on a house for her mother, and some help for her aunt. “Maybe a new car.” America’s Favorite Houseguest’s prize goes to Jeff. No surprise there.
And that’s it for the season. Thanks for following the show at our silly little site!