“Bye bye, love.
Bye bye, happiness.
I think I'm a-gonna cry-y.
Bye bye, love.
Bye bye, sweet caress.
I feel like I could di-ie.
Bye bye, my love, goodby-ye.” - Everly Brothers, “Bye Bye Love”
Welcome, my friends, to the breakup edition of Big Brother. While there’s a lot at stake tonight, it’s inevitable that the real focus (at least from CBS) will be the forced parting of “America’s Couple”, Jeff and Jordan. I have no doubt that it’s going to be WAYYYYYYYYYYY over the top (the fact that they did a joint diary room session today is a good indication).
But let’s not forget the actual game. Regardless of which player remain after the eviction (and there’s no chance it will be Jeff), we’re winding down to the finals, so the real focus on the show should be the HOH competition. The winner will be guaranteed to make the final three…one step removed from the finals.
Let the sob story commence with the reactions to Michelle using the POV. Kevin says the veto meeting went “perfect”, and that “if everything goes as planned, Jeff will be packing his bags.” Jeff, obviously, is still pissed that his worst nightmare has come true, and complains that Kevin is “not listening to reason right now” by not agreeing to the deal that he and Michelle gave him. He says he’s “coming right at him if there’s any chance I stay on Thursday night”.
Jordan is also upset, but it’s more because their storybook romance is coming to an end this week. “The only way I imagined me and him on the green chair together is finale night.” Michelle says that since Kevin wouldn’t listen to them, their only shot is to approach Natalie. Again, we hear Natalie talk about how there’s “no blood on my hands”. Her and Kevin celebrate in the “have” room, and that everybody in the jury house is going to love Kevin.
Moving outside, the storybook love filler continues. Jeff tells Jordan to not be sad, and they both complain about how “they” got exactly what they want. Jeff adds that it’s his job to keep her spirits up, and we see him give her a pep talk. “It’s destiny that you were here to meet me, and I was not here to win…you got to think positive…stick with Michelle…stick with Natalie…play both sides and get Natalie out next week.”
Jordan responds that Jeff is the only person in the house that deserves the money because he was the only one who played the game. More importantly, she wants to know if he’ll give her a big goodbye kiss. Oh God.
We now see Natalie in the kitchen, and Jeff talks about how he needs her vote. He approaches her in the kitchen, and she comes right out and says she can’t vote for him. He attempts to talk some “sense” to her, and Kevin is seen supposedly watching them on the HOH screen. Kevin says that his “faith and future is in Natalie’s hands”, and that the stupid Pandora’s Box proved she really can’t be trusted. You think? Jeff continues on with his attempts to sway Natalie, but she says there’s no way she’d burn the “only ally I have in the house”. Unless, of course, he offers her something special.
Back to the love birds. Jordan and Jeff are snuggling in the pool room, and she says she has a feeling she’s going to be following him next week. More importantly, she adds that if Jeff does indeed have the votes to stay, she needs to know so she can wear her best outfit. Oh boy. Jeff adds in the diary room that since their time together is over, he’s looking for any opportunity to kiss her. They then “practice” for tonight’s eviction.
It’s the next day (apparently), and Jeff is again talking to Michelle about somehow making it through the week. They decide to let Natalie know that Michelle will be coming after her if Jeff is evicted. After some more back and forth, we see Natalie in the backyard with Jeff. He says they’ll “guarantee” the next HOH if she keeps Jeff. She does perk up a bit, but says she doesn’t believe Michelle will “lay down” for her. (Note to Natalie - put those legs down!) Funny how they don’t show Natalie attempting to go after the prizes they’ve already won.
After commercials, Julie introduces a wasteful segment on Michelle. Jordan and her discuss Michelle’s husband, and of course we get to meet him. Yeah, it’s the usual “it was love at first sight” testimonial, and conversations in the house are combined with his commentary. He does confirm that she has issues with her memory, and even more clips are shown to prove this. Of course, it’s tough for him to see her break down, but he believes she can win the game. “She’s kicking ass now!”
Now we move on to Julie’s interview with the house. She starts with Kevin and the dumb Pandora’s Box segment. He really is good in these segments, as he says “in any other circumstances, I wouldn’t mind being bent over and handcuffed to a box” but because money was involved he wasn’t so happy. Julie continues, and for some reason we get fish for a sec. Natalie denies that she went against Kevin, but claims that she continued to pick up money so the rest of the house wouldn’t know there was a riddle involving Kevin.
After a compilation of falls from the HOH competition, Julie asks Jeff who had the best fall. He says it’s a toss up, but says that Natalie’s was the most dramatic. Time for one more silly clip, as Natalie goes nuts over the firefly. She just CAN’T believe they showed that! Ugh.
Now we get to see Russell’s entrance into the jury house. Great, more Jessie footage. Lydia’s hair is dyed black, and Jessie babbles in a monotone about how much fun they’re having. Lydia says her “little crush” has gotten bigger, but supposedly nothing has happened between them this week. Yeah, right.
The limo finally (and thankfully) pulls up, and they both hope its’ Jeff. Russell enters babbling “technotronics”, and Lydia is “bummed out!” For some reason, Jessie rips off his shirt (again). Russell then tells the story of how he got backdoored, and adds that he believes Jessie and Lydia were hoping he got farther. Jessie also informs Russell that Natalie is actually 24, and he flips out (sort of). Lydia babbles more nonsense about this dumb lie, and they finally watch the DVD of the previous week.
Jessie actually makes sense, though, when he says that Jeff’s most crucial week is this week. Oh, and Russell also confirms that he would also possibly vote for Jeff if he makes the finals.
Thankfully, this segment concludes, and we move on to Kevin in the HOH. Julie asks about having doubts about Natalie. “I know the word ‘lie” is in Natalie’s name, so I know that she’s a little bit trustworthy…but you know what, I have no choice!” Julie follows up with the possible ramifications of breaking his word with Jeff, and he says he “had to do what I had to do”.
After another commercial break, it’s time for the final pleas. Jordan goes first, and she talks about how this is her “worst case scenario” and that she hopes they vote on who can get them farther in the game.
Jeff babbles about how you have to let “destiny take its course and for my circumstance an 18 year-old (lol) stands in the way of my destiny”. He points out that she has an opportunity to prove her loyalty tonight to not go against their deal last week, and that by keeping him she’d get a free HOH. If she doesn’t keep him, she’s riding the coattails of a “back stabber” who broke the deal he had with them. No mention of Jordan? Hmmmm.
Voting begins with Natalie, who votes to evict Jeff anyway because he evicted her “best ally” Jessie. Michelle then votes for Jordan, which means it’s all up to Kevin. Guess who he chooses to evict? Jeff, despite his “nice desperate” try. He quietly hugs everybody, and gives Jordan a little kiss on the cheek before walking out. Wow, no big PDA moment with Jordan?
After he walks out, Natalie is babbling away about her “word”, and Kevin complains that he was going to be nice “but he was the one who got dirty”. Whatever.
Julie tells Jeff that he got the first standing ovation of the season, but starts right in on whether it was a smart move to go after Russell. Jeff says that he still believes it was, and that “the worst thing that happened to me was not winning that POV”. But why did he align himself with Kevin and Natalie? Again, he just couldn’t trust Russell because “I knew he was coming after me”. Of course, we move on to Jordan. He says he didn’t give her the big goodbye kiss because “I got too fired up.” The crowd groans a bit, and we’re already finished with Jeff. Interesting.
Tonight’s HOH competition is obviously up next, and it’s the circular question “fact or fiction” game. Wow, they really have run out of competitions for this show. The first question is about whether Casey began selling “banana-themed” merchandise after his banishment. Shockingly, Jordan is the only person to select “fact”.
The second question is about Laura’s eviction interview with Julie, and whether she said she was evicted because she was “beautiful”. They all answer correctly. The third question is whether Lydia and Jessie are speaking to each other, and Natalie and Jordan answer correctly.
For question four, it’s whether Ronnie received more coup d’etat votes Chima. They also answer fact, and they all get a point. Question five is whether “technotronics” is actually a word. (Actually, Julie reads off a lengthy definition that I’ll never attempt to transcribe.) Jordan is clearly confused. Michelle is the only one to get this once correct.
The sixth question is whether Chima issued an apology about Russell. Michelle gets this one right, and she’s now tied with Jordan for the lead. The final question is whether Ronnie went to a sci-fi convention dressed in his Princess Leia costume. Natalie is the only person who correctly says “fiction”, which means we have a three way tie.
The tie-breaker question is how many total cans did all five contestants have in their tubes at the end of the game. The correct answer is 91, which means Natalie is HOH! Oh Lord! “Chima, vengence is coming to you”, she yells. Ugh. Somehow she won this competition by “keeping her word”. What? We have a long week ahead of us.
We return to the house, and Julie says the Pandora’s Box event will actually have some sort of ramifications on the game. Sure it will. Oh, and next Tuesday will be a live show for the POV competition! Natalie is already holding court as we finally end the telecast.