Our long nightmare is about to come to a close, and all of America is hoping that a new one doesn’t begin at the end of this hour of Big Brother. Yes, that ultra-smart chemist/bartender/”model” Rachel will be concluding her rain (as she spelled it in her HOH blog) as head of household, and unless Brendon somehow pulls out a victory we won’t be treated to nasty noon-ers, coitus interruptus (from Kathy), or that awful cackle of a laugh that has annoyed us from day one.
Before we get to the crowning of the new HOH (and it could be late tonight, if the rumors of an endurance comp is true), we have to deal with an elimination tonight. Monet and Matt are on the block, and while feed watchers pretty much know which one is leaving, I’m sure the opening segment will be edited to make it appear as neither are safe.
Obviously, before we get to that created scenario we need the reactions to Rachel’s decision to take Matt up on his offer to be nominated instead of Andrew (Britney and Monet’s grand plan). After the conclusion of the ceremony, Rachel said that she was sorry to Monet, who didn’t take it well. “Rachel is a complete, stupid bimbo.” Britney, of course, is not happy, either, and they both bitch about her. Matt goes on about how he’s “just sitting pretty waiting for Monet to go home”.
Matt heads into the storage room to celebrate with Lane. “For the second week in a row, Der Bergade is running the house”, says Matt. Meanwhile, Rachel is doing what she does best, falling all over Brendon.
Britney, though, is crying over the thought of losing her only friend. Monet joins her in the pity party, saying “I hate everybody in this house…Rachel is stupid, Brendon is stupid, Kristen is stupid, Kathy is stupid…I’m going to flush her extensions down the toilet”. What pissed Monet off the most is the comment about Matt being a pawn, and Rachel is “lucky she didn’t get my fist upside her head”. Britney adds that she could “also have put on a shirt”. Matt joins them, and claims he’s pissed off about being nominated. “They’re going to get what’s coming to them next week…they need to be put into their place”. He’s a bit too proud of himself in the diary room, saying he’s “just having a bit of fun with them until Monet gets kicked out of this house”.
And it’s now time for the other lovebirds. Kristen is a bit drunk on wine, but Hayden is worried as showmances generally don’t last long. Yet, they walk away from the rest of Der Bergade to cuddle in his bed. Kristen says she has “true feelings for Hayden, and can’t hide it”, as he babbles about her being “so hot”. Cue the porn music as the covers go over their bodies while Andrew is “sleeping” five feet away. He knows everything that’s going on. For the first time this year, Andrew is actually pretty funny.
Now it’s time again for Rachel, and she prances down from HOH to talk to Kristen about her vote. She informs Kristen that Britney and Monet believe they have her vote. Ah, so that’s where the drama began. Rachel claims that it was Britney who told her this info, but in the diary room she says it’s nothing but a lie. Kristen is “pissed off”, and when they’re all sitting outside she confronts a clearly confused Britney. “Why would I say it, anyway? That’s weird.”
Monet is then brought over, as Kathy runs inside to inform the rest of the crew. Kristen outright tells Monet that Matt “doesn’t deserve to go home over you”. Drama queen Rachel prances outside, babbling “there’s no reason for drama”. Bitch, you created it! Rachel explains why Monet was her target, and after a bit of back and forth Monet walks away from Rachel saying “you’re lucky”. In the diary room, she again talks about putting “her fist in (Rachel’s) face”.
When we return from commercials, Britney is again crying in Rachel’s HOH room. “I don’t know who’s telling you these things, Rachel, but they’re lying to you”. Rachel explains in the diary room that she doesn’t want Britney to be her enemy, so she informs her of Matt’s offer to be a pawn. “Matt’s palying the game, Rachel. He has been acting like he’s so pissed at you for putting him up. Like, piiiiiised at you.”
Now it’s Rachel’s time to bawl, crying that she told Brendon this would be what happened. Her great idea to resolve the situation is a house meeting. Andrew couldn’t be a part of it, though, because he was observing a religious holiday. Rachel jumps right in about Matt playing both sides of the house, and Monet’s eyes light up. In a heavily-edited segment, she starts screaming at Matt, who then claims he had been “strong-armed” by Rachel and Brendon. Rachel doesn’t help herself by claiming she felt HE was pressuring her. Matt asks if anybody in the house is in an alliance with him, and the camera scans the silent Der Bergade. Rachel and Brendon believe they have won this argument, but actually they look like fools. Ragan claims that this fight makes him question his vote. Yeah, right.
With the old footage completed, it’s time for Julie to talk to the house. Julie asks Brendon how he felt finding out that Annie wasn’t the saboteur. His reply is that he feels relieved that the focus isn’t on him anymore, and Hayden claims he can now trust people. A clip of the Have/Have Not comp is then shown, and they all laugh at the not-so-funny footage. Ragan is asked about his “odd” position, and he says that “being tied up and strapped to the wall is a typical Friday night in West Hollywood for me.” Julie interjects that it’s a family program, and moves on to Britney’s tough week. “It was pretty much the worst week ever.” Andrew is then asked about how tough it is to balance religion and the game. “It’s very hard but I have great guests to help me do it…blah blah blah.” Kathy gets a viewer question about whether BB is harder than being a deputy sheriff. Yes, she says BB. Obviously.
Oh boy, we get a private interview with Rachel. The first question is about her current opinion of Matt. “I think that Matt is a snake. I think he’s definitely playing both sides. He’s playing Brendon and I against most of the rest of the house…I’m not going to let anybody take advantage of Brendon and I. That’s who I look out for.” She is then asked if she accomplished the plan of using her power as HOH to protect themselves instead of revenge. She says she did, “hopefully, crossing my fingers”.
Ugh, Rachel sighs when Julie moves on to talk about her fellow chemist. Has she ever fallen so hard this fast? I say yes, probably every Friday night at the bar, but Rachel responds. “nooooooo. Brendon is just so amazing. He’s like once in a lifetime.” Julie follows it up by asking if she would choose him over the money. “I’d definitely have to do what is best for Brendon…and I”. Pressed further, she says Brendon. Ugh!
We’re finally ready for the vote, and Monet gets to plead her case first. She doesn’t say anything earth-shattering, and Matt then says little more but that he wants to stay and petty little comments don’t bother him. Wait, did he say “Natalie sucks”? Wow. And he throws out the “Chenbot”! I do like this kid!
And the vote begins with Andrew, who votes to evict Monet, as does Enzo. Britney obviously votes against Matt…and we go to commercials. BTW, can somebody put a sock in that woman in the audience who is screaming like a banshee. My God, shut the hell up!
So we return with Kathy’s turn to vote, and she chooses Matt. What? Wow! Hayden is up next, and he votes to evict Monet…as does Kristen and Ragan. Monet is officially out, but we still see Brendon and Lane also vote to evict her.
When the votes are announced, Monet starts bawling again. Without hugging anybody, she grabs her stuff and bolts as Enzo yells out that she’s a great person. Julie asks why she didn’t even hug Britney, and she says that she already said her goodbyes to her only two votes. Noting her tears, she asks if she’s always that emotional. Monet babbles that she’s a stronger person in the outside world, but the game is “draining”. She admits that playing the game has shown her that maybe she’s not that strong.
Julie moves on about the $10,000 reason that Rachel gave for targeting her, and while partly agreeing Monet also says that it was a “copout” for the others. She is then asked about the not-so-nice things that she said about Rachel, and doesn’t apologize about anything she said. It’s all about honesty, you know.
So we conclude, as always, with the goodbye messages. Andrew, of all people, claims he doesn’t know why she was even there as she “had no strategy…everything you did was completely wrong if you were trying to win this game”. Kathy’s awful mascara is running as she claims “she’s a sweet girl..and I’m going to always use the phrase ‘I’m going to punch somebody’ when I’m mad”. Matt acknowledges that it’s his fault she’s been evicted, but just calls her a “casualty of war”. And then we get an overly-dramatic Rachel. “I think you’re a bit overly-clique-y, and super catty. You tried to break up me and my man, and if you had every had a boyfriend or somebody you care about you would know that that’s the dumbest move you can make”. Ugh again.
This segment concludes with another tearful clip from Britney. “I’m so going to miss sitting in the back yard with you and talking about how high-waisted Kristen’s pants are, and how skanky Rachel’s dressing every day and how annoying her laugh is, and all the things we could do with her hair extensions.” I love this girl!!!
It is now HOH time, and as expected it’s an endurance competition. They’re all standing on surf boards, and the last person standing wins. The catch, though, is that the first five to fall off will be the “haves” of the week. The game commences with water pouring on each of them. I really don’t think this will last as long as previous endurance comps. Matt seems to be the smart one here, attempting to stand away from the water (as does Kathy).
As always, we return for one last look while Julie goes over the rarely-changed TV schedule. Nobody has dropped yet, and a wind machine apparently kicks in as we fade away. See you Sunday!