Expect a much shorter recap than usual. Why? The majority of the night will be spent with footage of Thursday night’s endurance competition, and there’s just not a lot to be said about these types of episodes. Yes, they’re kind of exciting for us watching on the feeds (when CBS allows us to actually view them), but it’s really only the final result that matters when it comes to an episode recap.
Yet I’m still here tonight, having rushed from a family gathering to do my duty. Don’t feel sorry for me, though. I generally look for excuses after a couple of hours or so.
So we start with Julie kicking off the endurance comp, and the announcement that the first five to drop will be “haves” for the week. Rachel is already screaming “Brendon”, and he goes on about how they’re “outsiders”. Enzo throws out the usual grenade bs about Der Bergade, and that one of Der Bergade has to win to start dropping some bombs. Ugh. And it goes on and on about how each person needs to win.
Britney mentioning that she’s now alone in the house with Monet gone brings us back a few minutes to her dismissal. Matt is his usual charming, cocky self, and that he’s on his way to being HOH. Brendon babbles some garbage about how he voted with the house, but it didn’t make a lot of sense.
Lane sticks to his hayseed personae as he describes how Monet bolted from the house. “We didn’t get to say goodbye.” Matt is heard thanking everybody in the house for keeping him, except for “two of you who can ___”. Kathy was one of those two, and her explanation makes about as much sense as anything else she has said. Matt knows that it was Britney and Kathy that voted against Monet, but Britney vows revenge.
We’re back to the competition, and a few of them talk about how hard it is. Yet it seems to be a piece of cake for Matt. Brendon says that those with big feet have a disadvantage. Kathy says her strategy is to let people think she’s useless, and, of course, she’s the first one down, followed quickly by Lane.
Rachel is still screaming at Brendon, and right after Matt talks about how he could stay up all night Kristen “falls”. Hayden also fake-falls, and admits to it in the diary room. Britney then says in the diary room that she had had enough, and sure enough she also jumps. So much for being determined to get revenge. These five are now the “haves” for the week.
Andrew is still up, and the girls all have a laugh at how the shorts are a bit revealing. Enzo deadpans that he doesn’t think those shorts are “kosher”. Hayden says that he thinks Andrew is about to fall, but he’s still up as we jump ahead. Matt is continuing to act cocky, saying that his “main goal is to get into everybody’s heads”. Brendon says that he just CANNOT let Matt win.
Jumping a bit ahead again, both Enzo and Brendon almost fall when the surfboard jerks forward. Sure enough, Enzo then falls a short time later. “I let down Jersey. I let down Der Bergade. Blah blah blah.” It’s all down to Matt to once again save Der Bergade.
Ragan is pretty proud of himself for sticking up there so long, and he says it’s a “proud moment” for him as he reminisces about being bullied in high school. Rachel says that except for Matt she feels safe with everybody who is left on the wall. Of course, that means that Matt will fall. Or did he? It’s commercial time.
When we return, we find out that he indeed fell just as his loudmouth girlfriend yelled “Brendon, don’t fall”. Yes, he’s upset, because he let not only himself down but his dumb girlfriend.
So the final three is Andrew, Ragan, and Matt. Andrew says that he needs to win so he can get a letter from his family. Ragan kicks in the deal making, telling Andrew that if he drops he would not put him up. Matt needles them a bit, and when Ragan says he can “jump in any time”, he declines.
Jumping ahead in time a couple of more times, it’s still the three of them, although Andrew is clearly struggling. And he’s down. He says it felt like he was pushed.
It’s down to Ragan and Matt. Ragan asks for everybody to leave so they can negotiate. Matt says he doesn’t want to deal, but Ragan says in the diary room that he trusts Matt. “I think he’s a really good, solid guy.” Matt says that he’s willing to just play it out.
Everybody does come back out, though, without a deal in place. (Interesting editing here.) Finally, at 2:15, Ragan sort of falls. Lane says he wanted to celebrate, but he’s still keeping Der Bergade a secret. Brendon is pissed, and says he just wants to go hang out with Rachel in peace. Which is basically what he’s done all week. (Seriously, the editing here sucks! Ragan did make a bit of a deal with Matt.)
Yes, that’s exactly what we now see. Brendon walks into a bedroom and finds a crying Rachel. “I feel so nervous right now about being nominated…Matt would almost be an idiot not to put me up.” Please, CBS, quit giving them such a positive edit.
Right away, Rachel wants to talk to Matt. She grovels to him, and he says that he performed the terms of their agreement, and it was her that didn’t. But he’s supposedly not playing “both” sides of the house; he’s playing “my side of the house. My alliance is my wife.” Now Rachel wishes they had eliminated Matt.
Time for filler, as Britney makes fun of Enzo’s Jersey accent. Yes, it’s useless, except for Enzo’s line about how “the Beverly Hillbilly” is the one making fun of him.
Speaking of useless segments, it’s now time to see Matt’s HOH room. Wow, he’s got a pretty cute wife! Yes, Matt, is is all “awesome”. Andrew now is sorry for doubting Matt’s story of his wife’s disease, as the letter from her actually helps his lie.
Time for a Bergade celebration. Um, yeah. Enzo wants Brendon and Rachel to go. Matt says in the diary room that he really wants to take Kathy out. Silly, silly, silly.
After celebrating, Hayden wanders down into the bedroom into Kristen’s arms. He asks her what she thinks, and her response is that she just wants to be safe. At the same time, the remaining Bergade members gossip about their relationship. Well, actually, they think they’re related because they have the same birthmark. Enzo thinks they’re cousins. Hmmm, kissing cousins? Oh Enzo, please never say “bros before ho’s” again.
Time for more filler. Rachel is straddling Brendon as she cuts his hair. Andrew, though, kills the mood by vacuuming around them. He’s my new hero! Oh god, now we see them in bed together. Again, Andrew walks in on them! Good for him! Ok, CBS, really? We don’t need one more scene of those disgusting morons sucking face. Rachel says at this point they’re just going to carry on in front of him.
Now they’re out back “exercising”, and Britney and Lane are watching from the kitchen. They start imitating the conversation they imagine the two are having, and it’s a million times more entertaining than what we actually have to do. Yes, some more Britney cattiness! “It’s so nauseating!” Lane says that he used to role play with cows and horses back in Texas.
And even more filler, as Enzo complains about being on slop again. He’s hoping that viewers have picked some edible food for him. The big reveal is made, and Enzo says “we got fucked”, as he’s not happy with baby food and Bok Choy. Ragan makes a crack about “what comes out of the other end of a baby”, but Andrew isn’t too upset as it’s actually kosher. “I’m good to go.”
Now it’s time for more groveling, as Brendon and Rachel visit Matt in the HOH. He says that he could easily just put them up right away, but maybe because they’re so desperate he “can use them for my advantage”. He again lies about playing the game by himself, and also again brings up Rachel’s dumb house meeting. “There’s no reason for me not to put you up.” Rachel says they have a good shot of being HOH next week, and so he says that he wants safety for the next week. Rachel still doesn’t know if he can trust him.
Now it’s Andrew’s turn to grovel. Matt tells him that at the beginning he was “public enemy number one”, but by this week everybody does like him. He says that he may have to put him up, but he doesn’t want him to go home. Andrew asks why he’s not going to put up the “top two”, and Matt says there’s a good shot at getting them backdoor. In the diary room, Andrew questions why not just go after them? We’ve all been asking that all week, my friend.
So it’s now the moment of truth. After the usual mumbojumbo, Matt brings everybody back into the house. The first key pulled belongs to Ragan, followed by Kristen, Hayden, Enzo, Lane, Britney, Rachel, and Brendon. Yes, it’s Kathy and Andrew. Matt says he nominated Kathy because of her poor gameplay and her vote to save Monet, and for Andrew he says it’s because he still think he’s gunning for him. Good one.
Kathy has no idea why she was put up, and is going “to fight so hard”. Andrew says that it’s a “stupid plan”, that has potential to be “TNT”. Enzo is not happy either, but Matt says “everything is going to play” so that maybe he can backdoor Brendon or Rachel.
And that’s it for a filler-full episode. Let’s hope Wednesday is more entertaining! BTW, screw you CBS for your awful edit tonight!