I’m half-tempted to just forget about tonight’s episode until the last ten minutes, as there is bound to be lots and lots of filler tonight. The only real excitement promises to be the veto ceremony, as Andrew apparently made a scene that not has affected the game play of a few but could possibly finally lead to the breakup of America’s Worst Couple.
But I’m a soldier, though, so I’ll guide you through the entire sixty minutes…starting with the reactions to Matt’s nominations of Andrew and Kathy. (Interesting how even in the recaps, Matt, the “self-proclaimed genius” gets a bad edit.) Rachel can’t believe her and Brendon weren’t nominated, but still worries that they may be backdoored. Although he was told he’s just a pawn, Andrew is still worried. Hayden, meanwhile, is pissed that “two floaters” were nominated. “I don’t know what he’s doing. We were hoping for a power move.” Kathy is also confused, but that’s typical. Matt offers no apologies, as “this is MY HOH, and I don’t really care what they think…if the opportunity presents itself to backdoor Brendon, MAYBE I’ll take that opportunity. Maybe I won’t.”
Andrew is then seen walking into the have-not room, mumbling “it’s stupid” over and over. At the same time, the loving acoustic guitar Muzak comes on as the lovebirds maul each other. “I thought we were seriously going to go up”, says Rachel. Andrew then does what he does best - walk in on those morons. Rachel apologizes to him for being nominated, and Brendon lets him know that he’s not going home after Andrew complains that he has no clue what’s going on in the house.
Kathy then asks Matt if they can chat. They head into the HOH, and she says that she’s not gunning for him. He tells her that he wished he had known that when she voted against him, and that she needs to win POV. He adds that he’s not going to tell the house how he wants them to vote. In the diary room, Matt says he doesn’t “believe a word that’s coming out of her mouth”.
Hayden and Kristen then walk into Andrew’s bedroom, and he complains again about being nominated. Kristen says she thought for sure it was going to be Brendon and Rachel. Hayden says that he was “absolutely shocked”, and in the diary room he says if he wins POV he’d take down Andrew so that Brendon or Rachel could be put up. Once Andrew leaves, they begin their makeout session.
We move on to a kitchen scene, and Andrew complaining about peaches being added to the iced tea (making it ineligible for the have-nots to drink). He wanders around the house “aaaaaahing”, so Kathy goes to see what’s wrong. He complains that everything Rachel does somehow affects him. “Some people only care about themselves”, says Kathy. Andrew responds that Brendon is too good of a kid for that wench. “It’s unbelievable the idiocracy that is in this house.”
Der Bergade are now sitting outside, and Hayden asks about backdooring Brendon or Rachel. Matt responds that he’s open to ideas, and adds that it’s pretty obvious what’s going on. Der Bergade all agree that it would be ‘awesome” if they were all picked to play in the veto competition. (Oooh, a bit of foreshadowing here.) “One of them is going home this week.” Um, yeah.
After a commercial break, it’s filler time. Andrew is vacuuming again, and he babbles about how “cleanliness is next to godliness”. Various shots are shown of him cleaning, and they all make silly comments. ZZZZZZ.
Finally, something important happens, as Matt walks out with the veto competition bag. Yes, they all want to win it. Matt picks out Brendon’s name, and is obviously not pleased. Kathy pulls out Lane’s name, and Andrew gets Rachel. Der Bergade is NOT pleased! Neither is Andrew! “I thought God loved me!” Matt chooses Enzo to be the host.
Before the competition, we have to hear the whining. Funny how the conspiracy theories aren’t shown as Lane and Matt bitch. Instead, we get to hear Lane loudly chew on pop rocks. “Green apple is good.” Ugh!
Matt is then shown in the storage room with Andrew, telling him that they still plan on saving him. Andrew doesn’t quite buy it, though. “Your plan is blowing up in my face”, he complains in the diary room. As expected, though, they don’t show Andrew promising to Brendon that he’d throw the competition to him.
Ugh, more Der Bergade garbage, as Enzo now joins Matt and Lane in the HOH. They’re worried that the veto competition will be a test on the elements. They then watch Andrew on the spy cams and make a few jokes. Lame didn’t know that Jews wore “ninja outfits”. Oh, Lane.
And it’s time for more filler, as Der Bergade is now sitting with Brendon listening to Lane talk about opening a drive-in Beer store, and some nonsense about life with guns in Texas. Enough with the hayseed Lane segments!
Yay, we finally get the veto competition, as Enzo walks into the living room in a genie costume. They have to wander around the backyard looking at all of the items, which Lane described as a “smarter version of a redneck carnival in Texas”. Oh, Lane. Andrew thinks he has it figured it out, but Kathy says the only numbers she ever sees are on license plates. Britney tells Matt to count the candles, but he says he has a “rain man” problem with counting.
The game finally actually starts, with Enzo asking questions about the items. It’s one of those games where after they write down an answer, they can decide to stay or fold. If you stay and lose, you’re eliminated, and the first one to three wins. Once we get diary room clips from everybody stating they HAVE to win, we finally get on with it.
The first question is about the number of fortune cookies, and Lame says his strategy is to just put down a reasonable number and then decide whether to stay or fold. You think? Brendon folds, as does Andrew, Kathy, and Rachel. There goes one member of Der Bergade, as Lame is the first out.
Candles are the topic of the next question, and after hearing Rachel’s strategy Brendon and Kathy fold. Andrew wins this point, and Matt is out. There goes Der Bergade. The third question is about how many feet are in a spiral, and Kathy gives us some idiotic story about a snake that got caught in her car. Andrew and Rachel fold, and Brendon wins this round. It’s now Brendon, Rachel, and Andrew!
Tarot cards are the fourth question, and Brendon and Rachel both fold. Andrew now has two points to Brendon’s one (and Rachel with zero). Der Bergade is now happy again! Next up is the ounces of magic potion in a bowl, and Rachel and Andrew fold. Now it’s a tie game!
The eyeballs come into play now, and they all stay this time. The winner is…the CBS sponsors.
Ok, back with the results. My God, they’re milking an uninteresting game. As you may guess, Brendon wins this point, and the veto. Yes, that means that neither Brendon and Rachel are going home this week. Ugh, Brendon, did you really just use the term “Brenchel”? You should be evicted just for that!
Der Bergade are clearly not happy, and Matt tells Hayden they need to come up with a plan B. Um, too late for that, my friend. Hayden’s pissed! “This is a nightmare, dude. We’re screwed!”
As we see after all competitions, it’s time for Rachel to again attack Brendon. After their dry-humping, Brendon whispers that Andrew HAS to stay. Ugh, and more of their overly-noise kisses! Andrew pounds on the wall for them to quiet down. Lol
Der Bergade are still whining, and it’s Enzo’s time to complain about Matt’s decision to not put up Brendon and Rachel. Matt then brings in Andrew, and Matt says that he thinks he has the votes. Matt does add that he hopes the vote ends up a tie, so he can prove he’s on his side. Andrew is still pissed by Matt’s plan, though, but Matt says it was never his goal to give the boot to either him or Kathy. Andrew doesn’t want Matt to help him, though, because he can do it himself. Oh yeah?
We’re about to see just how well Andrew can take care of himself, though, as it’s time for otherwise useless veto ceremony. Andrew corners Brendon in the have-not room, and tells him he wants to put on a show at the meeting to “prove” they’re not together. Brendon says in the diary room that he’s nervous about this, as it could backfire on him.
And it’s veto ceremony time. We still have to watch Brendon go through the motions of staring at the wall, even though we know exactly what’s going to happen. Blah blah Brendon, blah blah Kathy, blah blah Andrew.
Kathy gets to speak first, and doesn’t say much (as usual) because she knows he doesn’t want to endanger Rachel. Andrew then gets up, and stumbles as he recounts how Brendon and Rachel nominated Matt but didn’t vote to evict, and then Matt didn’t even nominate them. He then informs Brendon and Rachel that he’s going after them…while the rest of the house basically shrugs their shoulders.
Obviously, Brendon doesn’t use the veto…no matter how long the pause lasted. Andrew thinks his speech helped the house believe he’s going after them. Kathy says that she asked for a miracle, and Andrew’s speech did just that. Britney’s only appearance in the show is as hilarious as usual, as she laughs at Andrew’s performance. “Am I in the Twilight Zone? What just happened?”
Poor, clueless Rachel is pissed, as Brendon didn‘t pass on this plan to her. “I have no idea that Andrew wanted to come after us, and is such a hater. I. Was. Shocked!” Brendon is proud of Andrew’s move, though, although Matt responds that it was a complete joke.
And with that idiocy, the show concludes. See you tomorrow when our favorite OCD victim leaves Big Brother!