It’s a night of conflicting emotions. One the one hand, viewers will get the joy of once again seeing season 11’s Jeff and Jordan return to the Big Brother house. On the other hand, the majority of tonight’s episode will feature the crying, bitching, and moaning of two people who are the trailer park version of the previous season’s happy couple.
Before we get to Jeff and Jordan, though, we have to sit through the aftermath of Matt’s nominations of Rachel and Brendon. Yeah, they’re pissed. Matt explains how not only are they the two biggest threats in the house, but “they’re getting on everybody’s nerves. They’re basically a virus to the house.” Ragan sings “hallelujah” as his response.
Of course, Brendon thinks it’s a “stupid” move on Matt’s part. “Whoever stays is going to target Matt.” Rachel doesn’t understand how she’s the “bad guy” when “there’s six guys in the house”. What does that even mean?
Brendon attempts to cheer Rachel up with a kiss, but she rejects him. Rachel’s mood changes, though, as she starts to make fun of Matt’s speech. They walk out of the bedroom, and Enzo asks if they’re alright. Brendon starts in on Matt by calling him a midget…and he just shrugs his shoulders. Hayden comments in the bathroom how “somebody’s grumpy”, and Matt says both will leave in a “1-2 punch”. Kathy adds that “both of them disgust me”, as Rachel gives her the stinkeye while over-dramatizing the cutting of vegetables.
Britney asks Rachel if she’s ok, which of course she isn’t, and invites her to go into another room to talk. In the diary room, Britney says in the diary room that “they think we’re still friends, but truly I’m just trying to avoid any of their dramatic antics, and avoid just having them on my bad side”. She tells Rachel that “it’s just not worth it”. Watching from the other room, Matt says he’s not worried. “I’ll take the other one down next week somehow.”
And the pity party continues, as Brendon and Rachel share a salad while she whines about how “everyone in this house since day one has wanted us both to go home”. Brendon claims that they just want them to be “as miserable as every one of them”. Brendon breaks out the idea of using a veto win by him to save her. She doesn’t want that to happen, and that she can’t survive in the house without him. Interesting how that opinion will change in the next few days.
Excuse me while I mute my television as fake tears come out in the diary room as Rachel screams how much she wants to be in the house. “All I’m doing every day is fight to stay”. Basically, the last two paragraphs have been repeated verbatim every hour, on the hour. Brendon is going to protect her, “because that’s what a knight does”. Oh Lord.
As I predicted last week, the script for tonight will include the practice rounds for the veto comp. Rachel is still sad, though, and walks away without practicing. (Um, this is not how it actually happened, as she actually practiced and failed miserably in her first attempts.) She wanders into the bedroom, and breaks down in tears once again. Her “knight” walks in to cheer her up. Not for the first time, Rachel says she feels like “road kill”, but Brendon inspires her to return to the bowling alley. Of course, she’s much more successful this time as they practice on through the night. Oh wait, she’s just successful, as the first practice never happened if it’s not shown. “It’s my fucking house!” Ugh!
After a commercial break, it’s time to select veto members, and Brendon is now cocky. “Just hand the medal over right now.” Ewwww! This time, seven players play with Ragan’s veto ticket from last week being the extra player. Rachel again repeats the “this is my house” cliché. Matt chooses first, and gets Kathy. Rachel gets Britney, but she’s not sure if Britney would use the veto on them. Brendon nabs the house guest choice, and gets Enzo because he’s “not played well in competitions”.
Everybody is now lounging in the house as the doorbell rings, and of course it’s Jeff and Jordan. Obviously, everybody is happy to see them…especially the viewers. Enzo is pleased when Jordan calls him the “meow meow”. Yes, they’re still a couple.
Everybody is brought into the living room, and J&J have fun reading the script for the bowling competition. Brendon has a good feeling because the bowling alley is designed into some sort of lover’s lane deal. In this bowling game, when you knock over a pin another one comes down. The opening bowler has 45 seconds to knock as many pins down as possible, and then they get to choose who they will compete against. Whoever is lower is out.
After calling it “the obstacle of a lifetime” because it’s seven people against her, she’s called to begin the competition. Matt is annoyed by Brendon’s constant babbling while she bowls, and she ends up with six pins. She chooses Kathy to go against her, and Kathy knows it’s because she’s “perceived as weak”. “Bring it on”, she says in the diary room as she scores a…believe it or not, a seven (despite a slump). She whoops in response, which pisses off Rachel. “Talk about playing with character and morals, and then you’re going to do that when I’m at my lowest point on the block against someone I love. Come on.” Yeah, come on. Rachel is eliminated, and Enzo notes how she becomes a “big crybaby” when things don’t go her way.
Brendon is up next, and he just HAS to win. He starts off well, despite Rachel’s constant chattering, but also hit’s a big slump and ends up with just three pins. In frustration, he just picks up the last ball and throws it. Britney is pissed. “He has the worst sportsmanship I have ever seen in my entire life, and I played fifth grade basketball.” Rachel is also pissed, because she just can’t understand how he did so poorly.
Britney is chosen to go against Brendon’s score, and she ends up with five! Brendon stomps away, yelling “this is crap!” Hmmm, I wonder how this game is rigged against him. He starts yelling about how he’s “tired of being targeted by ____ in this house”. Surprisingly, Rachel attempts to calm him down, but he refuses. She’s just as upset with him, though, as he is with himself because he let her down. Um, you could have won and saved the day, dear.
At this point, it really doesn’t matter what happens. Enzo is up next, and he just has fun rolling the balls. Yet, he gets eight pins, while the love birds continue to bicker. Britney is up against Enzo, and she ends up with nine. Ragan is then up for the next round, but he’s “blinded by the hotness of Jeff and Jordan”, and ends up with seven. He challenges Matt, who gets nine pins. He pats Ragan on the ass and apologizes.
It’s now Britney versus Kathy, and Britney wins by one pin. She then goes against Matt, but Brendon is pissed that they’re actually having fun. How dare they enjoy themselves! Rachel also whines that she doesn’t want to try to kiss either Matt or Britney’s asses to get them to use the veto. Oh well. Matt downs seven pins, while Britney earns her third POV with a stunning score of ten pins! She’s the new veto winner! “I’m veto royalty!” After a nice little plug for Jeff’s new online show, the cool couple are out!
Rachel and Brendon are still sad, though, especially seeing how happy Jeff and Jordan are. More importantly, Rachel is going to get in Kathy’s face “for disrespecting me during the competition. Why don’t she just spit in my face while I’m at my lowest point while she’s at it?” Ugh!
Sure enough, she does just that. She pulls Kathy into the Taj Mahal room, and tells her that it’s “real fucked up” that she would cheer after beating her. “That’s not classy. That’s not playing with integrity. That’s not playing with character. All these things you say, that’s not doing.” Wah Wah Wah! Kathy just gets up and storms out as Rachel demands an apology. Rachel follows her, and continues to demand an apology. Upstairs, Ragan and Britney watch on as she goes on and on. Brendon finally tells Rachel to “not waste your breath. It’s not worth it.” Britney and Ragan return to the HOH room, with Britney bitching that Rachel is “disgusting”.
After giving up on winning her apology, Rachel walks back into the kitchen as Hayden is defending Kathy’s action to Brendon. Kathy also walks out, and again says that she’s not going to apologize. “I won.” Ragan and Britney back her up when she ends up in the HOH, and Ragan reminds them of the “floaters, grab your life jackets” line. Hayden also reminds Rachel of that very line. “You can’t expect her to not be excited out there for beating you.” Britney slightly exaggerates what Rachel said as she reports to Kathy what is happening downstairs.
After another commercial break, it’s time for saboteur garbage once again. Ragan heads into the diary room, and he’s told by a “twittered” to “hide Rachel’s nasty hair extensions”. He declines that one because “that would involve actually touching her nasty hair extensions, and that’s too deadly even for a saboteur.” Greg from Facebook recommends hiding some stinky cheese in one of the bedrooms. Yeah, great idea. Ragan says that you could hide that under Brendon and Rachel’s bed, “but I don’t know if anybody would notice any change in smell.” He also declines this idea, but he does like Nicky from Facebook’s idea to turn Brendon and Rachel against each other. “I’ll go for it.”
The saboteur video then comes on, and everybody heads inside. The message is indeed for Rachel, claiming that Brendon has been throwing competitions “hoping to advance his game at the expense of yours. Don’t worry. The two of you can discuss this at the jury house.” Ha! Yeah, Rachel doesn’t buy this one even if it was true because “I care about him on a different level than just the Big Brother house”.
The rest of the house does chatter about this, though. Britney thinks it’s a message to eliminate Brendon instead of Rachel, but Matt doesn’t believe that Brendon is throwing competitions. In fact, he believes that Rachel is the saboteur. “Obviously, Rachel needs to save her ass. What better way to save her ass then to throw her competition under the bus a little back?” Ragan just mouths “craaaazy”, and somehow thinks his prank worked. Yeah, right.
As predicted, Rachel is now seen wanting to talk to Britney. Yes, she asks Britney to use the veto on her, but Britney says that she can’t. Rachel reminds her that she was going to use it to save Hayden last week, but Britney says that was only because “Hayden was going to promise me the world”. Rachel says she’ll also promise her the world, along with the five grand that she won last week. Britney says that using it on her would end up sending her home as it “would be going against the entire house”. Britney adds that even if she did use it, the one not saved would be going home. “The whole house is dead set on breaking you up.”
Rachel reports her talk with Britney to Brendon, and again Brendon brings up his idea to take himself out of the game. “I really want Rachel to stay in this house. She deserves it. To do that, I may have to do something drastic that may make me look like a bad guy.” Hmmm, like that wonderful veto ceremony two weeks ago with Andrew? Again with the knight talk. Great job, CBS, in scripting this like they really are Romeo and Juliet.
It’s now veto ceremony time, and since Brendon is going to make a scene we get to skip most of the standard prep shots that are normally shown. Brendon gets to speak first, but “as a gentleman” wants Rachel to go first. Ewww! We again get to hear about how Rachel is “at the lowest point in her game”, and as a friend Britney should use the veto on her. She also again offers the five grand. “I don’t care if you use it on me or Brendon, but please use the power of veto.” Nice fake tears, too.
Brendon then gets up, and he says in the last five weeks he has discovered that Britney is “a spoiled brat…and you are selfish. This last week, I know you wanted to work with us, and you were the best friends we could have talking about putting up Matt and Ragan. Yet this week, you’ve been up in their room, and you’ve now teamed up with their alliance. And I think you’re going to play this game like you’re going through life, and you’re going to do what’s best for Britney. I don’t expect you to use the power of veto, but if you’d like to I’d let you use it on me.” Oh boy.
Britney laugh, and Enzo has a giant smile on his face. “Brendon, just as I’m a spoiled brat, you’re a class act. You are carrying yourself in this game worse than anybody else. You’re showing your true colors every day. So before you go trying to call out people saying who is going to put up who, why don’t you be honest for a change and say what you say behind people’s backs. That being said, I have decided not to use the power of veto.” Damn, I love this girl!
As we leave the show, Britney explains that “Brendon’s actions during the veto meeting were right on point with his personality. He’s a classless, disgusting, vile person.” Kathy is happy, and somehow Brendon thinks his plan is working. Rachel is so grateful that Brendon really is her knight! Ugh!!!
Wow! What an hour! See you tomorrow!