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« Brendon Wins! | Main | HAPPY DAYS! »
Thursday
Aug122010

Big Brother, Episode 16 Recap

Last week may have been THE MOST IMPORTANT EPISODE OF BIG BROTHER EVER, but this week is bound to be the most entertaining in quite some time. After a long, suffering summer, Peg Bundy’s long lost Vegas daughter is (probably) being sent to the jury house. Everything about this episode, outside of the pre-taped opening segment or two, is bound to be chock full of yucks.
If you watched last night’s episode, you know the program ended with Brendon’s pathetic plan to convince the rest of the house to vote him out instead of Rachel. Somehow calling Britney a few names during the veto meeting was going to be enough to do the job. Obviously, the show commences with reactions to his outburst.
Wow, I didn’t know that Ragan had a reaction. As everybody is walking away from the veto meeting, he compares it to some scene in The Cable Guy where the “Neanderthall” makes an idiotic speech. (Foreshadowing, people!) In the diary room, he says that he called him that because Brendon is prone to attack smaller people. “It was important to let him know that he’s messed with the wrong person.” Um, ok.
Britney condescendingly says “good job, Brendon” as she heads over to hug Rachel. He asks her for a hug as she walks away. “He is a disgusting human being. He is a pansy. He is an idiot. Frickin’ spawn of Satan. He definitely has to leave the house.” Brendon apologizes to Rachel, but says in the diary room that his plan is to take the target off Rachel. “It will initiate a chain reaction that will eventually get everyone to vote me out.” Oh Lord, he goes on to talk about how this girl could be his wife…”the mother of my children”. 
The lovebirds head into the storage room, where she asks him what he was thinking. Yet she’s grateful, and they embrace once again. In the diary room, she goes on about how he’s such a wonderful man to do this. Brendon adds to this. “If giving up a half million dollars for someone you love makes you an idiot, then I guess I’m an idiot.” She tells him that he’s the best boyfriend ever.
Rachel then heads into the Taj Mahal and apologizes to Britney for what he said. Britney lays right into her about what an awful person he is, and how he talks behind everybody’s backs. “He’s a sinking ship.” She goes on about how classless he is. “Rachel, he doesn’t like women.” Once again, we hear about how she’s in such a bad position, but in the diary room she claims that she’s just working on ensuring that Brendon’s plan works. 
Britney then heads outside, and says that she wants the boys to see “how he really is”. She repeats the story about how he only attacks those smaller than him. When she leaves, Der Bergade pat themselves on the back, and how everybody should be coming after them. “We have two scientists in here that can’t figure out the laws of physics in here that there’s a brigade, and they can’t figure out that the center of gravity is Der Bergade.“ Actually, they have a point. 
Ragan is now doing to Matt what Britney just did with the boys - talking shit about Brendon. They both believe that Brendon’s speech has “dug his own grave”. So CBS wants us to think that Rachel is indeed staying. Interesting editing.
It’s now evening, and Rachel approaches Britney and Ragan to butter them up. This doesn’t go well, as Ragan talks about Rachel’s problems. This is one case where editing rules, as a two minute version of this is much more entertaining than last week’s 45 minutes. Rachel storms off, and Brendon then stomps on over. “Oh God, the Neanderthal is now marching”, says Britney. Brendon goes off on Ragan, who complains that he wasn’t “privy to the conversation”. Britney starts laughing when he claims that Ragan was behind Matt’s nominating the pair, and calls him a Neanderthal. Brendon corrects him on his pronounciation of the word, and Britney laughs even harder.
Britney gets up and imitates his walk, and they both scream at each other as Brendon promises to rid the house of all the “cockroaches”. It’s just silliness, and you can read the full report farther down on this page.
Der Bergade are now up in the HOH, and they contemplate keeping Brendon because he has a huge target, and Rachel is a much tougher competitor. “If Rachel leaves, then he’s DUN”, says Lane. Hayden adds that it’s a “tough call”.
Ugh, now it’s time for more saboteur garbage. Ragan hopes it’s something truly horrible against Brendon. Too bad it’s not. Kelly from Facebook recommends taking one of Brit’s bikinis and put it in the freezer. No!!! Kevin on Facebook wants him to create paranoia that the voted out person is not leaving. “I LOVE IT!”
The saboteur message then comes on, and that’s exactly what the message says. “True love does conquer all!” Enzo is suddenly not smiling, but the lovebirds are. “OMG, I’m freaking out”, says Rachel, and we get our first “me and my man” line of the show. I promise we’ll hear that again.
The rest of the house is not so happy. “They have a power of some sort”, says Matt, who thinks that maybe they have something similar to his diamond power of veto. Ragan is loving this moment. “I’m one step closer to the twenty grand.”
It’s now time for Julie’s interview with the house. Clips from last week’s HOH is then shown, and Lane is asked how difficult it was. “It was very difficult.” Good one, Lane. Matt is then asked whether opening Pandora’s Box was a difficult choice. “The risk was definitely not worth the reward.” Yeah, right. Kathy is asked about beating Rachel in the veto competition, and the resulting fight. “I didn’t owe her an apology because she picked me because she thought I was weak. It was her strategy on picking me, and when I beat her I was celebrating because I won, and I didn’t feel like I owed her an apology.” Julie congratulates them for making the halfway mark, which means it’s jury house time. Julie wants to know who everybody thinks is the most underestimated player in the game. Matt says Kathy, Lane and Britney says Ragan, while Enzo says Hayden. Ragan says himself, Kathy says Ragan, and Hayden says Britney. Rachel stammers for a bit, but then says everybody is underestimating themselves and “I’d like to see them compete harder”. Brendon surprisingly says it’s Britney.
This next segment should be interesting, as we are introduced to Brendon’s ex-fiance, Candice. Yes, she’s bitter, as we immediately see as her and her family react to a scene where Rachel rejects a kiss from Brendon. They were engaged for six months, but broke up because he attempted to change her. “Everything he has said to Rachel, I heard numerous times.” Ha! Her mom clearly doesn’t like him, either. “He’s very emotional. He’s dramatic…we’re so grateful she didn’t marry him.” The “Brendon, I am Vegas” clip is then shown, and the ex talks about how “he doesn’t want you to be your self. He wants you to be how he wants.” They all have a big laugh on the “knight” lines, and she wants Rachel to prepare herself to be “emotionally drained”. Unfortunately, she’s also “totally Team Rachel”. 
Oooh, here we go with the final pleas. Rachel goes first, and she talks about how much she has always wanted the Big Brother experience. She turns to Brendon, and talks about how much she loves him. That’s it, so we turn to Brendon. He immediately attacks Matt for opening Pandora’s Box and lying about it to the house as he believes Matt won $10,000. “Maybe you’re fake. Maybe you’re (Britney) ingenuine (sic).” He says it’s about being “fun”, “feisty”, a “competitor”. He also talks about how he’s fallen in love, but he “also knows what it’s like to be a witch in Salem in the 1600’s. You’ve (Rachel) have been persecuted for just being who you are, and after all that I would not trade it for anything.” Um, interesting.
Voting now commences with Enzo, who votes to evict Rachel, as does Britney (who says she votes to evict “tequila, vomit, hundred dollar bills Rachel”). Kathy, Ragan (“he got the witch part right”), Lane, and Hayden also vote to evict Rachel. It’s unanimous, but we must wait through commercials to get to the good stuff.
When we return, Julie announces that Rachel has been evicted. Thanks to Enzo’s earlier warning, it’s not nearly as surprising as many of us viewers had hoped. She kisses Brendon, and tells him that he has to win, and is off to muted applause without talking or hugging anybody else. 
Brendon is already talking smack, saying “you better be ready…all of you” as he prepares for the HOH. Little else is said.
Julie asks Rachel if she is shocked, but Rachel says she’s not because “they’re all scared of me as a competitor.” She says she didn’t say goodbye to anybody because “they got me”, and again it’s because they’re all scared of her. Julie follows it up by asking about Brendon’s “bold” move, and again we hear that they’re all scared of her. Jesus, Rachel. Asked about the future, Rachel giggles and says “I don’t know. I’ll probably move to L.A.” 
Goodbye messages are then shown, and Matt is pretty nice but says she “got sucked into the Brendon vortex for awhile…got a little bitch, moody”. Enzo, always playing both sides, claims that he wishes they had been on the same team “because you are such an amazing competitor”.  Britney says that “the thing I’ll miss most about you is the hair extensions. I’m going to miss putting them on and getting to be the new Rachel. Who wants to see me going to the jury house! Whew!! Tequila!” I love it, but it’s not the smartest thing you can scream at a juror. Hayden screams at the camera that it was the showmance that got her booted, but “if it’s real then it’s worth more than half a million dollars”. Brendon concludes the segment with more “once in a lifetime” babbling, and that he’s going to be fighting for both of them. “Everyone that was mean to you, and targeted us for falling in love, I will take revenge upon.” 
Uh oh, Julie just said this may not be the last we see of Rachel. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s HOH competition time, and it’s a platform where contestants much untangle their rope from a “weave”. The winner also gets to pick the have-nots for the week. Is this another contest that’s unfair to tall people? We’ll see in a bit, I guess. Brendon is flopping all over the place as he frantically untangles his rope, and for some reason chicken feathers is introduced. 
As the show fades away, we get one last look at the competitors. Now a “storm” is added to the fun. There’s no clear leader so far, as almost everybody is at the same point. Who will win? Tune into the live feeds and find out!

 

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