Before we commence with the recap of tonight’s show, apologies are in order for the lack of summary for the previous episode. I was all ready for the broadcast – my slingbox was running smoothly, my mixed drink was refreshed right before show time. I even had a great opening paragraph already written.
As expected, the show started with a recap of Thursday’s premiere…and boom, here comes the local affiliate jumping in with a weather warning. Ok, no big deal. I’m thinking I’d miss next to nothing. I was wrong. After a fourteen-minute filibuster, I was able to witness CBS’ edit of Brendon/Rachel banter…and boom, another break-in. Out of the first 23 minutes of the show, I saw three.
Sure, I could have switched to an online feed, or watched it later on CBS.com. Nah, I was already not in the mood, and those cut-ins just threw my rage to a new level. Before you obsessed Weather Channel viewers begin writing hate mail, you must realize a couple of things about the situation. First off, this THUNDERSTORM activity was in a remote part of our state that covered less than a percent or two of the viewing area’s population. Plus, our CBS affiliate also owns a CW station AND a channel devoted to WEATHER!!! Switch this garbage over to one of those channels and just run a crawl underneath.
Ok, enough whining. Tonight’s the night we learn why Evel Dick left the show (or at least CBS’ version of events), along with the POV competition and POV meeting. Ok, all we really have is Dick’s departure, as I expect lots of Brendon/Rachel and Jeff/Jordan filler. (BTW, there are NO storm warnings tonight!)
Oh yes, we have to begin with reactions to the nominations of Keith and Porsche. Although Rachel tells Porsche that she’s available to talk, Porsche is confused as to who she’s in a alliance with. Is it Dick or the whole veteran team? Ok, let’s face it – I could have ended the sentence at confused. Keith says “it’s no sweat to me…Porsche, you’re going home”. Rachel denies this, saying that she wants Porsche to have that…dum dum dum…golden key so she’ll vote whatever the vets want. Jeff adds that the nominations were Dick’s idea, and he really doesn’t give a shit. Dick verifies that they were his choices.
Porsche heads up to the HOH room after nominations, but Keith spots her and goes off on her in the diary room. Brendon confirms that she’s not the target. “Trust me.” Um, sorry Brendon. Who could be that stupid? Oh yeah, Porsche could. Brendon claims that she’s the only noob that the vets can trust. Porsche doesn’t help herself by wondering if they’re going to set it up so that Keith wins POV (um, she obviously doesn’t know the rules). Brendon condescendingly describes how it’s her best move to throw the POV.
After Porsche leaves, Daniele asks what just happened. Once again, Brendon has to explain the deal and how it’s the best thing for her. Daniele adds in the diary room that her dad probably made a deal with the worst person in the house. You think?
We move on to Keith sleeping, and Dom interrupts so they can do the Regulator dance. Ugh. Keith says he’s going to throw the veto “only because I want to get Porsche out of here”. Hmmm. Dom says if he throws it, he’ll definitely stay.
Now Keith is repeating everything to Kalia and Cassi. He tells them they can’t fall for it if they come to them after the veto and try to tell them how to vote. Kalia advises Keith to talk to the vets, but he thinks that’s crazy talk. He adds that if he doesn’t throw the veto, they’re probably going to be backdoored. At some point, Lawon has entered the room, and he also agrees.
Dick and Keith are now sitting outside, and Dick is called into the diary room. He’s apparently in there for hours, as we see the rest of the house sunbathing, eating, and washing up for the night. Finally, Porsche asks Jeff where he’s at. Suddenly, the house is getting worried, and Jeff searches the house for him. “Clearly, something is up.” That Jeff is a smart one.
Daniele is pacing the house when Rachel is then called into the diary room. Now the house knows there is a problem. Even Jordan has figured it out. “Where is Dick?”
After a commercial break, Jeff asks if they can start “conspiracy theories”. Rachel returns and calls everybody into the living room. She reads a statement from Big Brother that states that “due to an urgent personal matter, Dick had to leave the Big Brother game”. It goes on to state that Daniele then receives the first golden key, but she couldn’t give a shit.
Daniele is now in the diary room crying, actually worried about him. Somehow, though, Adam seems to be more upset. A tearful Daniele heads up to the diary room with Brendon and Rachel. Inside, she says that her dad “lives and breathes Big Brother. This is his life…he’s not just going to leave for nothing”. Somehow, Daniele thinks that she’s screwed, even though she has a four week pass. In fact, all of the vets are now screwed.
Jordan enters the room and reports that Keith was smiling about the situation. Tough guy Brendon threatens to go down after him. Um, yeah. Rachel actually talks him down, and as Jeff enters he also tells him to mellow out. Somehow, they’re all screwed by Dick’s departure, but Jeff thinks it’s all crazy talk. The conversation just keeps going around and around. Jeff says they just need to “knuckle up” and win every competition. Gotta hand it to him. He’s the only voice of reason in the room.
Meanwhile, Keith is celebrating downstairs, and bragging that he’s going to make his move on “Danny”. Shelly is pissed that he’s so excited about something that could be a horrible deal for another person. Keith, though, is getting too excited. He’s already pissed at Porsche (obvi), but now his new enemy is Kalia for telling him that he needs to talk to the vets.”I’m going to be the hero. I’m going to save the day.” Really?
All of the noobs are gathered into the have-not room, and I really can’t understand a word he’s saying except that he thinks he’s “exposing” Kalia and Porsche. Kalia is pissed. Lawon doesn’t get it either, and even Dominic is having second thoughts about Keith. He points out that they now have the numbers, and that he should just relax. He really is a dumbshit.
So it’s now time to pick the POV players, but first Daniele is handed her golden key…and, of course, she whines about it. However, she’s been having some second thoughts, and is going to use these three weeks to “build personal relationships with all these people”. Good move, Junior Dick!
Jeff and Jordan are the “wild card” choices for POV, and Brendon couldn’t be happier. Rachel also chooses Adam to be the host of the competition. The vets all head upstairs and decide it’s probably a good idea to remind Porsche that she needs to throw the competition. Porsche says that she wants nobody out of the house more than Keith, and somehow Brendon manages to pump himself up one more time with some comment about how he’d even be great at rocket science. Really?
It’s time for the competition, and Adam is dressed as a cop, with the rest of the competitors in superhero leotards. I’m going to refrain from Jordan’s dumb comment…and also Keith’s. One player must grab puzzle pieces and hand it the other who is hanging in the air, who then places the piece on a “skyscraper”…but before it begins we again have to hear how Porsche must throw it. Oh yeah, and that Keith is doing the same thing. WE GET IT, CBS!
Ugh, the play by play of Brendon is even worse than Jordan’s inane commentary (and game play). The same with Keith and Porsche believing they’re pulling a scam on the other. Somehow, though, Jeff and Jordan are doing even worse than Keith and Porsche. Thankfully, Brendon and Rachel finally put us out of this misery…and as usual, they act like they’ve won the greatest competition ever. “Eh heh heh heh he”. Ugh.
With the competition over, Brendon and Rachel head back up to the HOH to celebrate. Jeff joins them, and Rachel asks if they should change the nominations. Brendon, of course, wants to hold court over the whole house…”reminding them that we...have complete control”. Yes, he thinks that not only should everybody come up and kiss the ring that also from that moment on the entire house should come to them with their nominations. Yeah, he didn’t learn anything from the previous season.
They begin by having Adam and Dominic up into the HOH. Brendon informs them that if Rachel doesn’t change the nominations, that means that next week they can’t go up or also be up for POV. I can almost see the incredulous smile grow on Adam’s fat mug. Adam still agrees, but Dominic is pissed. “I wasn’t intimidated before they won, and I’m not intimidated after they won.” Lawon and Kalia are then brough in and given the same speech, and they also just nod their head in agreement (and laughing on the inside).
The speech is also repeated to Cassi and Shelly, and Cassi dares to speak up. She says she knows that they have a bond with Jeff and Jordan, and would always choose them over her. Shelly just stares off into space, adding only that there’s “no word breaking”.
Rachel then informs Keith that she’s thinking of using the veto, and asks what he would give her if that indeed happened. Keith claims that he’ll NEVER nominate her if she saves him. Really? Rachel backtracks and says the deal is only for the next two weeks. In the diary room, though, he says he has no worries because he’s “got the numbers”. Ok, Rachel, stop when you’re ahead. She doesn’t, though, and threatens to bury him if he goes back on his word.
It’s finally that anticlimactic time. Rachel and Brendon continue to spout nonsense about possibly changing their nominations, and the rest of the house responds accordingly. Finally, the rest of the house is brought in for the ceremony, and, as expected, it’s not used.
That’s it for tonight. What did you think of the episode? Will Keith survive? Will Brendon’s ego make his head explode? Will Porsche grow an IQ or two? Let us know what you think!