Working on Big Brother footage for CBS must be a tough job. No, no, no, I’m not talking about the fact that every week presents hundreds of hours of footage that must be cut down to two 42-minute episodes (plus a segment or two on eviction day). What I’m referring to is the “Rachel edit”.
It has to be hell for these poor souls who have to somehow take footage that shows Rachel (and SkypeBoy) acting like fools and transform them into a modern day Romeo and Juliet. The task is comparable to convincing America that a Kardashian has the smarts of Steven Hawking. Tonight is an especially challenging evening, as all the acoustic guitars and pianos in the world can’t make one sympathetic for the Vegas cocktail waitress after viewing Sunday’s meltdown on the feeds.
Yet, I expect CBS to give it a grand ol’ try. The initial confrontation with Cassi will leave out important moments, the guidance from Jordan will be made to appear that it entered into that vast wasteland of a brain, and, worst of all, the mental beatdown from Brendon will be turned into a touching moment of a loving girlfriend learning from her masterful scientist boyfriend. Blech!
Before we get to that, however, we must sit through the usual garbage of the house reactions to the nominations of Adam and Dominic (god, this seems like it happened weeks ago). Adam says that Jordan had told him that he has to trust them if he’s nominated, and after Lawon whispers “you gotta fight”, Dom says he knows he’s the big target this week as “I’ve got big suspicions Adam stabbed me in the back”. Jordan agrees, saying she believes Dom is the “ringleader”.
For some reason, Rachel thanks Jeff for the nominations. “It’s not me, it’s Jordan”, he replies. In the diary room, Rachel is a bit more heated. “What are you doing? Cassi is the target to get out of here, not Dominic. If I can’t even trust you and Jeff to make the right choices at nominations, what am I going to be able to trust you at going forward?” Who is the HOH again?
Dom and Cassi reconvene in the have-not room. Dom says he knew it was coming, and Cassi asks if he thinks he has a shot. Dom says he doesn’t know how much he trusts Jeff and Jordan, and “it all depends on Adam’s deal with them”. Cassi tells him to cut a better deal, but Dom doesn’t want to be their “slave” for the next couple of weeks. Dom thinks he’s now flying solo.
Adam then walks into the room, and Dom asks him how he’s feeling. “We gotta win that veto”, says Dom. “Our back’s against the wall”, replies an unconvincing Adam. “Let’s not pull a Porsche and Keith.”
Jordan now has Adam in the HOH room, and claims that he acted so well Jeff believes he’s actually pissed. She promises him that he’s safe, and for the veto competition the “best thing for you to do is to sabotage it. I promise you we have your back.”
Meanwhile, Rachel is now hanging out with Porsche, who says Cassi has to be eliminated before the couples are split. This sets up the typical Rachel complaints against Cassi before Lawon interrupts. “I see Rachel and Porsche talking”, he claims, “and that’s mischievous. Those girls are always up to no good.”
Then we switch to Dom and Daniele, who warns him that anything she says has to be kept secret “because it’s for your benefit”. Daniele says in the diary room that she’s not stressing out yet, as she has some buttons yet to push. Yes, Jeff wants Dom out (“he’s an asshole” is the reply), but Daniele says both Rachel and Jeff are “going to sink their own ships”. Dom says that he is starting to trust Daniele, but she admits in the diary room that she’s just using him “for now”.
Daniele begins her work by telling Rachel she wants Daniele out, and Cassi put up in his place. “I don’t trust Cassi, trying to say she’s so real, and then running around the house telling lies to everybody.” Daniele admits in the diary room that she really doesn’t have anything against Cassi, “but if I see a bus, I’m not afraid to give her a little push”.
After commercials, Rachel and Brendon are talking to Jordan, telling her that they can all trust each other, but nobody can trust Cassi. “She’s so fake. She needs to get out of here.” Jordan just looks around, wondering where those voices are coming from. Brendon doesn’t want her spending any time with Cassi. Jordan sees through their game. “Cassi just said one thing about Porsche, and Rachel is blowing it way out of proportion. It’s a little exaggerated and a little bit dramatic. It’s almost ridiculous.”
Jordan takes her concerns about Rachel to a seemingly bored Jeff. She tells him how Brendon and Rachel are constantly in her face about spending time with Cassi, but she wants to talk to her. “So, talk to her”, replies Jeff. “They gotta relax.” Jeff continues to rant about Rachel in the diary room, comparing her “to that little gnat that buzzes in your ear that you can’t stand…it’s not our first rodeo, and we don’t need that all the time…I need some Rachel-Off”. So do the feed watcher, Jeff. Trust me.
Sure enough, Cassi is in the HOH and Jordan informs her that people are “throwing you under the bus” (ugh, that dreaded line for the 10th time already tonight). “It’s because you’re pretty. You’re like absolutely gorgeous, and that’s no lie.” Cassi says it’s not just that, but it’s also because “I don’t play back with them”. Cassi adds that she likes them because they’re genuine people that won’t let those types of games influence their thinking. She adds in the diary room that this is exactly why she hasn’t let on that she’s a model. Well, I wouldn’t go that far, my dear.
It’s time to pick players for the veto comp. Jordan ably gets through the script, and after calling up the nominees, Jordan pulls out the chip that belongs to…get this, Brendon and Rachel! Nice job, CBS! Dom is pissed! “I’m going to get destroyed!” Jordan then chooses Daniele to be the host of the competition.
Rachel takes Brendon into the storage room and asks him if he’d be willing to go against Jeff and Jordan if they win the veto. “I think they’re just doing what’s best for them in this game.” Really, Rachel? Aren’t you doing the same thing? In one of his most coherent points of both of his seasons, Brendon says that they can’t just go “behind Jeff and Jordan’s back”. Rachel says that she’s scared that Jordan is so easily influenced, and Brendon replies “that’s why we can’t let Jordan be alone with Cassi”. They decide to enlist Dom in their plan, and Rachel goes off to find Daniele.
Daniele warns them that it’s a risky move, but she’s “super excited” that they’re on board to keep Dominic. “In the end, I’m going to get what I want and nobody is going to be mad at me.”
It’s finally veto comp time, and Daniele leads them all out to the backyard to a giant “candy shop”. In this game, they’re playing as individuals, which obviously pleases Dom. To win, one must chew gumballs while walking across a plank to deposit on their “veto portrait”. Yes, Jordan, this leads to your stereotypical joke about “walk and chew gum all the time”. If you drop, you’re out unless you take two weeks of slop.
Jeff still believes that if any of the vets win that Dom will go home. Obviously, we know that’s not the case. Jordan quickly drops, and is about to take the slop before Jeff yells at her. This pisses off Rachel, who says “if they HOH isn’t playing, maybe we shouldn’t be”. Ooooh, Jeff is pissed, but he says nothing. Rachel falls, and immediately grabs the slop ticket. Jeff is steaming!
Rachel then falls once again, and she starts screaming her typical lines about how great Brendon is doing. Dom notices that he’s pretty close to Jeff and Brendon, and starts picking up the pace. Finally, Dom places the winning gum on his easel, and wins the veto. Cassi knows this is bad news for her.
With the contest over, Jeff tells Rachel that he “doesn’t appreciate your comments during the race”. Rachel doesn’t understand what he’s complaining about, and has that “are you kidding me” look on her face. “It’s done”, she bitches as she tosses her bottle down and walks away. She attempts to bitch at Brendon about Jeff, but he also admonishes her. “Keep your head in the game. Not emotion. Play smart.” Jeff comes back to them and continues to berate her for making Jordan look bad. “You showed that you’re better than Jordan. You showed it tenfold today.” The rest of the house looks on with giant smiles!
We come back from commercials to find Rachel bawling in some bushes. Ok, enough of this crap. Brendon says he has to get her to calm down in front of the rest of the house. Even Kalia thinks Rachel’s actions are idiotic. Yeah, it continues on as the rest of the house heads back into the house. And once again, we get the Brendon is a hero edit. Rachel finally comes back into the house, and Cassi believes these kinds of “shenanigans” makes Cassi look better. Well, not really.
Dom heads into the have-not room to celebrate, and he thinks his win is a victory for the entire house. Adam is even happy, as he kept his word and still gets off the block. Jeff and Jordan, meanwhile, head into the HOH and she tells him to “not be so mad”. He says he’s tired of the “Rachel show”. He goes on to say that’s exactly why people didn’t like her last year, and that her mouth is going to eventually be “their breaking point”. In the diary room, he ably reads the script to create some doubt as to the replacement nominees.
Rachel is still whining to Brendon, wondering if Jeff and Jordan will be dumb enough to put them up. Brendon grills her as to what she’s going to say to Jordan, but she’s not too thrilled by Brendon’s advice. Rachel says that she could say “I don’t appreciate your girl winning HOH because we let her”. Brendon commands her to stop. “No wonder America hates me”, Rachel concludes.
They do head up to grovel to Jeff and Jordan. Rachel apologizes, and Jordan says she’s not mad. Jeff says that she should have “just bowed out”, but Jeff says the “repercussions will last for two weeks”. Jeff adds in the diary room that he thinks it sounds like a forced apology. They all say the right things, though, and Brendon adds that the rest of the house can never see them bicker like that again.
Cassi is then brought into the HOH, with Shelli following three steps behind. Jordan says they are the last two people she wants to put up, and Cassi immediately asks if they gave any thought to putting up Brendon and Rachel. She adds that they need to think about “the long haul and who is going to turn on your later. At some point, y’all are going to have to get Brendon and Rachel out, and I would have been down to lead that front to do it.”
Jordan says her hands are tied, as the veterans are all tied together. Cassi says she “just wants to shake Jordan right now…and how this is a potential game changer” to rid the house of them. This again sets up diary room stuff from Jordan to shed some doubt as to what she’s going to do.
She asks Jeff what he thinks of backdooring Brendon and Rachel, and Jeff says he’d stand beside her is she indeed did that. Jeff wants to “squash that annoying gnat in my ear”. To put an exclamation on the segment, Jordan adds that wants to “do something dramatic in this game.”
This all leads up to the anticlimactic finish, as Dom has to grab the veto and stare at the wall of house guests. He’s a bit bummed that Cassi is probably going up in his place. Everybody recites their expected lines in the diary room before Dom brings everybody in to take himself and Adam off the block. Jordan then gets up…and puts up Cassi and Shelly.
So that’s it, and while we did get to somewhat accurately see Rachel lose her shit during the POV competition, we didn’t get to see the fireworks with Cassi. Is CBS saving that for tomorrow?