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« Veto Meeting Spoiler | Main | The Big Brother Gossip Show #7 »
Sunday
Aug142011

Big Brother Season 13, Episode 17 Recap

After the craziness of Thursday’s eviction show, it is probably safe to say we’re heading back to predictable programming. I guarantee you the first half of the show will be filled with the Brenchel reunion (gross) and Daniele/Kalia moping. After the HOH competition, it will be Brenchel’s turn to mope before an interesting HOH conversation that leads to a surprise set of nominations.

Finally, the show begins after an hour delay due to stupid golf! We kick off with the announcement that Brendon received the most votes, and of course Rachel has to babble about how “perfect” this is. Kalia, however, knows she fucked up. “We should have evicted Rachel so she would have to battle Brendon, and we could have gotten at least one of them is out of the house.” Yes, you did fuck up! No go eat some chips! Daniele repeats similar gibberish.

The end of the competition is then shown, and we get even more screeching Rachel! “I can’t believe this is happening!” Lawon heads out, and Kalia feels bad that she’s the reason he’s left. Ugh, Brendon and Rachel are back on the screen thanking America. No, thank the idiotic cat ladies who had this theory that Brendon would keep their golden boy, Jeff, safe!

At least Jordan is happy, as she doesn’t have to babysit Rachel any longer. Yep, that’s right. Daniele reiterates that the last two weeks have been a complete waste of time. Once again, that’s right. “We’re back to square one.”

Everybody heads inside, and Rachel is excited to see the return of color to Brendon’s picture. Jeff adds in the diary room that now that everybody is back they have a great show at winning HOH. Obvi, their targets will be Kalia, Porsche, and Daniele.

As Porsche makes a sandwich, Jordan and Shelly command the boys to join them in one of the bedrooms. Yes, it’s time to watch everybody jump for joy at Brendon’s return. Shelly calls it a “love circle”, but Adam is a bit reluctant. He says he joins in just to align himself with somebody.

Meanwhile, the other three girls head into another room to cry. “That’s why you go off initial instinct in this house”, says Daniele. Kalia can’t believe that Brendon was voted in over Dominic. Yeah, some of us agree. “Everything I did was for nothing. Absolutely nothing!” Yep, that’s also right. Porsche, who always has a knack for joining the losing side, explains how Daniele and Kalia are now her team.

Talk goes on to Shelly, and how she is the exact opposite of Porsche. “You people were just talking terribly of this guy”, says Daniele, “and now you’re lifting him up on your shoulders and washing his feet. It’s so fake.” Yep, you’re correct once again.

Back to the loving couple. Jordan walks out of the room telling Brendon how she watched over Rachel, and then Rachel turns on the whinefest about how she was treated the past week. She also fills in Brendon on how Shelly was trying to create a final three deal with Jeff and Jordan. Brendon says he’s not going to let her “put a wedge in between my alliance.”

At the same time, Adam is explaining his dilemma. Does he want to be on a big team with lots of strong players who can protect him, or on the other team that is centered around one person? “We have all the numbers”, replies Shelly. “We just have to win this HOH.”

The whinefest continues, and it gets even worse as they hear Brendon scream his idiotic Mario Brothers voice. Kalia hints that she may just walk out, and Daniele tells her to stop because “we’re stuck together. If I leave, you’re screwed, and if you leave, I’m screwed”. They understand that Daniele HAS to win HOH. “If I don’t win, I’m going home”, says Daniele in the diary room.

After a commercial break (thankfully), it’s time for the HOH competition. They head outside to a yard full of displays that represent each of the house guest’s home states. It’s the counting game where they have to guess how many of an object is in each display. Ugh, we know EVERYBODY HAS TO WIN THIS HOH!!!

The first round revolves around Louisiana, and the number of necklaces on a silver tree. The answer is 673, and Rachel is already out with a guess of 1500! Yes, the self-proclaimed “queen of HOH’s” is gone! The second round has to do with Illinois, and the number of pepperonis on two giant pizzas. This time, Jordan goes out…and Daniele starts smiling.

For the third round, it is Porsche’s state and the contest is the number of olives in a giant martini glass. Porsche doesn’t get the connection, and now Brendon is out! Daniele is now getting cocky, as is Kalia! Nevada is up next, and it is the number of playing cards on a table. Jordan says Jeff has to win, but he now goes out!!! The vets are not happy. “We had fun with this one, huh”, whispers Brendon to Jeff.

Now it is Jersey time, and the number of baseballs in two giant gloves. Adam says he has it “in his glove”. Get it? Ugh. Daniele picks the highest total, but she was indeed closest. Shelly is now booted! She says she neglected to multiply her guess by two. What?

Adam is now the vet’s only hope, as she is up against Daniele and Porsche. Unfortunately, we have to wait between commercials. North Carolina is the next round, and the number of rivets in a propeller. Porsche says she was getting dizzy by the spinning propeller, and after hearing Rachel act cocky about having to rely on Adam, he is indeed booted. “Have fun on the sidelines”, says Daniele.

So it is now the final round, and it really doesn’t matter as it is between Daniele and Porsche. California is the final state, and they have to guess the number of gold coins in a chest. Daniele says she still has to win this round, as Rachel is bound to get right back in Porsche’s back pocket if she wins. Sure enough, Daniele pulls it out! “Kalia, my girl, you’re safe for another week…I’m really, really ready to take this house by storm again.”

Rachel couldn’t be more pissed. “I am like freaking out.” Her and Brendon immediately disappear into the have-not room to cry. “It’s good to be in the house for a week”, cracks Brendon. He assumes the two of them will be on the block again this week, but Rachel fills him in on their attempt to make a deal with her the previous week. “We might be able to make her put up Shelly.” Yes, Rachel, we know you’ll do “whatever it takes to make sure Brendon and I are safe.”

While this is going on, the other three girls are dancing around in celebration. Dear Porsche, go go dancing is not your thing. Knock it off! “I want these people scared to death of me!” Rachel interrupts the party, though, and everybody becomes quiet. She congratulates Daniele, and then thanks her for “voting for me. I’m shocked.” Rachel heads back out, and the three have fun making fun of Rachel. Porsche leaves the room, and Daniele tells Kalia that she really likes her and that Shelly is “done”. It all has to do with her changing sides from week to week.

Thanks to storm warnings, I missed a good portion of the next segment, which I’ve been told was filler from a few days ago where Shelly did a fake “job interview” with Jordan. I would have fast-forwarded through this anyway.

Filler finished, Adam now heads up to the HOH knowing that he has to do some damage control. Yep, this tale has been repeated every Sunday this entire season. Daniele asks him what she should do, and he says that if he wins HOH next week then she’s safe. Daniele is not really buying it, though, as she says in the diary room “either you’re with me or against me”.

It is now Shelly’s turn to grovel, and Daniele says that she’s “all over the place”. Shelly asks if she’s frustrated with her, and Daniele opens up about being happy that Brendon returned. “I can’t sit there and be in his face brutal”, she awkwardly replies. She whines that she never knows where she is with them. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not cool like you guys are.” The Jedi mind tricks continue, but Kalia is offended when she is sent packing by Shelly. Yeah, this is a dumb circular argument going on and on about how they like each other. Daniele says she’s “not buying any of this”, however.

Kalia informs Porsche of the snub, and they talk about the numerous lies she’s told. “I’m super happy that people finally see what a piece of shit that she is. Like, the constant lying and everything.” Unfortunately, Shelly heard the entire conversation and wanders into the kitchen a little bit later to confront Porsche.

After heading outside for a smoke, we hear Shelly babbling in the diary room about the impossibility of going “the moral high road in this game”. Um, whatever. Porsche wanders out, and the preaching continues from Shelly. Porsche complains about all the deals that Shelly has made, and she claims they’re not true. Thanks to the investigative archival footage that is then pulled out (and also played on last night’s Big Brother Gossip Show), we see that she indeed made a potential deal with Brendon and Rachel way back on August 3. Shelly must now remember that conversation, though, as she bitches in the diary room that she never had that chat. “I will never let (Rachel) take my class away from me.”

Meanwhile, Brendon and Rachel head upstairs to talk game. Daniel says that they need to come up with a reason to save them, and we hear the usual chatter from Brendon. Somehow, this time it seems to be working…especially when Brendon brings up a final three deal. Rachel actually makes a point when she says that she’d have four people working for her, and that Shelly is trouble. Daniele ends the chat by saying that she “has a lot to think about”, mainly because she knows while it would be a big move it could also be a “stupid game move”.

Nomination time, and everybody perfectly reads their scripts. Daniele does go off the standard camera angles a bit, though, as she appears to be truly troubled by the decision. Everybody is finally called in, and Shelly whines to Jordan about Rachel before everybody else sits down. “You know how all the information is getting passed on? Rachel!”

Kalia’s key is the first pulled, followed by Porsche, Jordan, “Jeffrey”, Rachel, and Brendon. Shelly and Adam are nominated! Daniele acknowledges that everybody probably doesn’t understand their nominations, and she says that after the travesty of the last two weeks she “make sure that what I need to happen happens”.

Shelly is furious, but it is not against Daniele. It is still against Rachel. “I can’t even believe what comes out of her mouth.” Adam chatters silliness, and Daniele says she believes she’s in a “very good spot”. If she wins veto, though, she may use it to put up Brendon.

So that’s it. What did you think of this week’s episode? Are you a bit more clear about Shelly’s hatred of Porsche and Rachel? Are you disappointed that the house meeting wasn’t shown? Let us know your thoughts. 

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