I must begin tonight’s recap with a bit of an apology – yes, I was a bit harsh on the house guests this past Sunday. Wait, screw that. I’m sick of them all! Their game play is horrendous, and that includes the CBS golden boy and his illiterate “girlfriend”!
OK, I got that off my chest. I’m going to try to play a bit nicer tonight, but it is not going to be easy as I expect it to be DULLSVILLE! When the so-called highlight of the show is the return of the Zingbot, you know the show has plenty of problems.
As always, the reactions to Jeff’s nominations of Porsche and Kalia is the spot where we join the festivities. (BTW, CBS did a nice job on the recap to set the stage for what happens tonight.) Porsche says that she’s not surprised, but somehow thinks she’s a “bigger threat” than Kalia. Somehow, Kalia thinks the same, especially since she doesn’t just hang out in a bikini. Jeff comes right out and says that he loves his nominations, and if they stay the same Kalia must go. HOWEVER, if “the stars align…maybe Daniele gets backdoored”. Daniele knows this is possible, and must do whatever it takes to ensure that does not happen.
Kalia and Daniele are now in the kitchen eating, and Daniele asks how it feels to be nominated. Kalia shrugs, and Daniele notes that she is “the last one who hasn’t been on the block yet”. She again admits that she is worried that this week may end that streat, and Kalia asks if Daniele would be safe from nomination if she won the veto and used it to save her. In the diary room, Daniele says that although she promised to throw the competition, the best scenario is for her to win it to force Jeff to put one of his alliance members up. Daniele then heads into the have-not room to talk to Porsche, and she also says the best plan is for Daniele to win the veto. “This blows.”
Adam and Jeff are now talking, and Adam says he thought that he was going to put up Daniele. Jeff says that he has some points to prove, and they both talk about how that “side” of the house needs to be shown how to play the game. Adam shoves his tongue even further up Jeff’s ass by congratulating “Big Jeff” on being classy. Adam says that if he somehow wins veto, he’s going to let Jeff tell him what to do with it.
Time for some Rachel silliness. Porsche and Daniele are in the kitchen, and Rachel comes in to start needling Daniele. “Daniele hates life right now…why do you hate life so bad?” This goes on for a bit, and for the whole story you really should listen to last week’s episode of the Big Brother Gossip Show. Daniele says Rachel is “obsessed with me”. Rachel says her motivation is to get under her skin because Daniele evicted Brendon twice.
It must have worked, as Daniele heads outside and whines to Jordan about how she wants to punch Rachel. They’re joined by Rachel, who asks why Daniele is pissed off. Daniele just gets up and walks away, and Rachel asks her what she did. “I have a halo over my head right now…I was just trying to make sure she was ok”.
After a commercial break, it is time to pick veto players. Besides the six players, Daniele is also involved because of last week’s veto card she won. Jeff pulls out Jordan’s name, Porsche nabs Adam, and Kalia gets houseguest choice. Surprisingly, she chose Shelly over Rachel. Daniele couldn’t be happier that Rachel is not playing.
Before we get to the competition, though, we have to sit through the silliness of Jordan stripping off her humilitard. Yes, it is the least sexy striptease of all time, even with Jeff’s scripted diary room banter about how much he is enjoying it.
Back to serious “bizness”, as Jeff and Jordan watch Daniele and Porsche cook in the kitchen. Oh wait, this is just more filler as they do a MST3 2000 routine to the spy cam action of Daniele and Porsche. Oh yes, and an argument over how to say the word “mischievous”. I’ll refrain from the sort of comments I would have made on Sunday about this cutesy idiocy.
OK, now it is serious stuff, as Daniele and Kalia whine. Kalia has a good feeling that the comp will be something that Daniele is good at doing. Daniele, though, says if she wins she will have a hard time deciding on whom to use it on. It certainly sounds like Kalia is going to throw it, though, so in my eyes she deserves to go home this week. Anybody remember the Dom fiasco?
It is veto comp time, which also means it is time for the dreaded Zingbot 3000. Rachel says she wants to be “zinged”, and it goes quiet. It comes back to life, and throws out one-liners about Jeff’s soul patch, Porsche’s booty size, Rachel’s use of the word “fiancé” (with an awful scripted “me and my man” line), Daniele’s father, Adam’s similar look to Uncle Fester, Shelly’s similarity to a “dude”, Kalia’s sex blog/sleeping, and Jordan’s inability to answer questions (“the only reason Jeff hasn’t proposed is because of your inability to answer questions”).
Silly time over, everybody heads out back for the veto competition. Rachel is happy because the set is all “science-y”, and Daniele gets out her own “zing”. Everybody must assemble the Zingbot’s “bride”, and the winner is the first to successfully complete the puzzle. In case you forgot, Kalia reminds us that the best case scenario is for Daniele to win, but notes that she must think for herself first.
The game begins, and after ONCE AGAIN listening to the rules from Jeff, we hear Adam say that he had no desire to win this competition. A rarity occurs as Daniele actually recites a scripted line (she has said on the feeds that she refuses to do such a thing), and then Shelly ALSO says she’s throwing this comp. Jeff makes a joke about Kalia and Porsche “taking a nap”, and Kalia and Adam both make the same bad joke about a mechanical dates are the only ones they get.
Jeff is pulling way ahead of Daniele and Porsche, the only two players actually trying, and he indeed wins the veto. Yes, Jeff, we know that you have ALL the power in the house. Both Kalia and Porsche say they now have to talk to Jeff to ensure she doesn’t go home. Daniele also needs to remind Jeff of their deal, but Jeff says he has a big decision to make.
When we return form a commercial break, Kalia is whining to Shelly that she thinks she is going home. Shelly’s plan is to keep pumping up the other side despite the fact that she is aligned with Jeff and Jordan. Kalia thinks she is a bigger threat than Porsche. Um, no. She also believes that Porsche will be taken down in favor of Daniele, but Shelly says she’s going to talk to him.
Jeff indeed then calls Shelly in to talk to himself and Adam. Jeff doesn’t really answer any of their questions, and Jeff claims in the diary room that his decision will “alter the rest of the game”. Shelly says that Kalia is “freaking” because she thinks she is the target. Jeff just smiles.
Porsche now heads into the have-not room where Daniele is whining. Daniele is upset that either she goes, or one of her alliance members. Porsche points out that she has been in second place four times in a row, and it is not fair if she goes home. Oh boo hoo.
Jeff now attempts to talk to Porsche, but her only point is that she doesn’t want to be stuck in the jury house with Brendon. Jeff asks what she wants, and offers a one-week deal. Before he walks away, Jeff again points out that she never talks.
Kalia is then brought upstairs to talk to Jeff, and she says she is “slightly humbled”. She repeats the story about how he was not her target way back in week three, and that she is not coming after him. She also complains that it is not fair that she may leave before somebody who has done nothing in the house (Porsche). She adds that her side’s goal has always been to boot Rachel (ok, why didn’t you do that when you had the chance?). Kalia says in the diary room that she hopes Jeff is still going after “floaters”, which in her mind only includes Porsche.
Now it is Daniele’s turn, and Jeff says he’s “nervous” about their relationship. She wants to boot Porsche, and is open to a final three deal with him and Jordan. She reminds him that she has given his word twice and hasn’t gone against it. If she is put up, though, she is going to fight to stay.
Veto ceremony time, and Jeff says he still is not sure what he is going to do. Rachel also has no idea, but hopes that it Daniele is put up. Porsche hopes that she is taken down because she hasn’t done anything wrong, but Kalia thinks she has a better shot at getting votes than Porsche. Daniele still has hope that Jeff’s word is indeed golden.
With everybody’s script properly read, Jeff brings the house guests inside. He asks Porsche and Kalia why they should stay, and Porsche says very little but how she likes his haircut. Kalia also just kisses his ass, saying if she stays Jeff “will have a lot more red velvet cake”.
Jeff then announces that he is taking down Porsche, and as you may guess he then puts up Daniele. “Let the good times roll”, she responds. “Shocker!” Rachel is beaming, and Jeff says it all is due to trust. “I’m moving forward with the people that want to roll with me”. It all goes back to her attempt to backdoor him in week two, and he talks about Julie Chen’s question about second-guessing that move.
Daniele is pissed, and says that if she remains this will be his “worst game move”. Kalia says this is the worst week ever, since she is still on the block and now next to her best friend. Rachel, of course, is still beaming. “Way to go, Jeff! Daniele needs to learn a lesson that nobody comes between me and my alliance!” Ugh, make the scripts go away! Jeff also ably reads the script, using her pet words “awkward” and “shocker”. (I’m refraining. I really am.)
And we’re done! What did you think of this episode? Who is going home tomorrow? What about the Zingbot? Please leave a comment or three!