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« Have Nots - Nominations - POV Players | Main | Will Two People Leave Tonight? »
Thursday
Aug042011

Big Brother Season 13, Episode 13

A big disclaimer for tonight’s show – what you may see tonight is complete bullshit. Well, at least in the first couple of segments. As stated in a previous post, the past 36 hours has been nothing but Brenchel drama. The world has conspired against the red-headed she-devil and her “genius” (I prefer “special”) boyfriend, and she had been once again talking about walking off the show (which she won’t do).

Instead of these more realistic (and typical) views of Rachel, it is my prediction that the first two segments are going to be filler consisting of the fake wedding they put on for the Showtime cameras a couple of nights ago. There will also be just enough footage of them conspiring with the likes of Shelly to make the world think that Brendon indeed has a shot to survive another week.

So let’s start off with the reactions to what Brendon believes is a shocking turn of events – his use of the veto to save Rachel instead of himself. Yawwwwwwn. Oh Julie, Brendon’s move doesn’t mean “chivalry is not dead”. Brendon is oh so proud of himself as he talks about making sacrifices for “the girl I love”. Excuse me while I gag. Daniele is ecstatic as “all of my Big Brother dreams are coming true”.

Jeff isn’t surprised that Jordan was put up as she’s a safer bet than if he had been put up. Jordan agrees, but she hopes that people will tell her if she’s going home…only because she bought “an eviction dress”. Oh Lord. Rachel, of course, is still crying because they’re “the most dynamic duo”. Please, I just ate dinner!

Rachel runs off into the have-not room crying, but Brendon is all smiles. He is so proud of himself, and wants reassurance that it was such a bold move. “If nothing else, at least I went out with a bang”. Come on, CBS, we don’t need the romantic guitar music.

With that segment thankfully over, Shelly runs into Jeff and Jordan and says she doesn’t get it. She questions whether this was something they had always planned. In the diary room, Jeff says he doesn’t know how he’s going to deal with her without Brendon. “When every piece of fruit and vegetable she looks at reminds her of Brendon, I’m going to rip my hair out”.

Meanwhile, Kalia is running her mouth off with Daniele (a recurring move all week). They’re both happy, and Daniele says that she can beat Rachel easier than Brendon. She does acknowledge that if he somehow stays, she’s in deep shit. She goes over the votes, and says she has to ensure that the noobs vote her way.

Back to Brendon and Rachel, and they’re having a similar conversation. They have to get some noob votes, and Porsche is the first they chatter with. Rachel says they’ll never get rid of Porsche, who points out that Jeff doesn’t seem to upset that Jordan is nominated. Porsche says she is indeed voting for Jordan to leave because she doesn’t want to upset Rachel. Oh yeah, that’s a good reason.

Adam is next, and Rachel says that if he keeps Brendon they’ll keep him safe “the rest of the summer”. Hmmm, how many people can she promise that to? Rachel badmouths Daniele, but Adam is hesitant. Shelly has joined the group, and she indicates that she’s voting to keep Brendon. In the diary room, she goes on about how she has to make the best move for her. Adam, though, continues to not give an answer.

Daniele now sits down next to Adam and asks if they’re “still good”. She’s noticed that Brendon and Rachel are “happy all of a sudden”. Adam claims in the diary room that he still doesn’t know how he’s voting, and tells Daniele that he’s open to reasoning from both sides. “I make my own decisions.” Sure you do.

Back to Kalia and Daniele in the HOH, and they’re laughing about Rachel. Since she’s in the diary room, they call up Porsche to see if they can get her vote. Kalia leaves, and Daniele says she has a better chance if Brendon leaves. “They will lie to every single person to get what they want. They will literally try to sell their first child.”

Suddenly, Rachel walks in and she’s obviously pissed that Porsche is in the room. After whining a bit, she bolts right back out. “The thought of Porsche switching sides and voting out Brendon, and hanging out with Daniele, drives me insane. Why doesn’t she just take a knife right now and gut me?”

Still steaming outside, Porsche tells her that she needs to “stop with the sad thing”. Rachel asks if she’s still on their side, and Porsche says that she is. Brendon comes out and Porsche continues to tell her that she needs to mellow out…and of course, this means Rachel has to storm off. Brendon barks at Porsche for bringing up the topic, and Rachel starts screaming that “obviously, nobody is going to vote for us”.  Porsche wanders off, saying “I can’t help you now, girl”.

Rachel is now on the hammock, and Brendon follows her. “Nobody cares in this game about anybody but themselves”, she whines. She continues screaming, so Brendon chastises her. “I left you in this game so you can play, but you’re screwing yourself by doing this.” He asks if it was a mistake to save her, and she not only agrees but adds that he made a mistake “by asking me to marry you”. Oh yeah, this goes on and on…and moves on to how she can’t get a job and is crazy. Yeah, that’s about right. Ugh, cure the romantic music again as they kiss and make up.

Thankfully, the segment is over and we don’t even have to endure their fake wedding…yet. It’s time for Julie’s questions, and she starts with Adam’s elf costume. Yeah, it’s not worth recapping, except he mentions Dio’s first band, Elf. Oh yeah, and he dances (again). Moving on to Rachel, she asks about Brendon saving her instead of himself. Yes, we get it. You “love” each other. Jeff is then asked about his feelings about the possibility of Jordan leaving before him, and he talks about how he’s never spent a minute in the house without Jordan. And that’s it…with no stupid wedding talk!

Oooh, and now we get an interview with Evel Dick. After a clip of Rachel, Brendon, and Shelly talking about how different the game would have been with him, he claims that he would have never let Daniele play such a stupid game. He says they were “one of the best alliances in Big Brother history”, and we see clips from season eight. He says that she “is trying to come out of the shadow I cast on her in season eight so desperately. She’s playing so hard so fast has been terrible.” He talks about the stupidity of laying in bed with Dominic, which put a big target on him. Clips are shown that indicate the similarities between her and Dom with her and Nick in season eight.

He adds that targeting Jeff last week was a big mistake, as she was “in the best position in that house”. She should have waited until week eight to break up the couples, he adds. Although she has a lot of ground to make up, she is a great competitor so she still has a shot at winning.

In a move guaranteed to anger Rachel, Julie then interviews a barefoot Daniele. Julie starts by asking about targeting Jeff, and Daniele says her only regret was going after him too soon. She is then asked about what her father thinks of her gameplay, and she thinks he’ll criticize her but also back her up. Rachel is then brought up, and whether they can mend fences. “Absolutely not, but not on my account. She feels that I’m splitting up a marriage, not a couple in the house. That’s her problem in this game. She’s only going to play personal, and attack people on a personal level…the rest of her game is going to be to get me out of this house (and probably kill me after the game).” That’s a great answer!

Ok, so it’s final plea time. This should be interesting. Brendon is up first, and after saying he misses his (and Rachel’s) family, he doesn’t drop the bomb like I thought he would. He just gives her a pep talk, and tears up. Jordan is next up, and she just babbles goobleygoop.

Voting begins with Jeff, who votes to evict Brendon. A tearful Rachel obviously votes to evict Jordan. And we go to commercials with the vote tied at one. Silliness. Kalia is voting when we return, and she votes to evict Brendon, as does Adam. Porsche votes against Jordan, though, but Lawon and Shelly both vote against Brendon. Guess who is evicted???

Julie gives the news, and Brendon plays the nice guy as he claps everybody’s hands. He embraces Rachel for the entire time, and picks her up and twirls her. “Win HOH for me.” Oh boy.

The interview with Brendon commences with saving himself over Rachel, and he says that “love is a crazy thing”. Enough with this bullshit! Julie presses by asking if they believed she could go farther than him, but he says he’d have a “little bit better chance of staying longer”. Daniele is brought up, and we know his opinion of her. “I think she’s still living in her dad’s shadow.” He thinks she’ll make it for a few more weeks, and Rachel will be gunning for her.

Final goodbyes start with Kalia, who is a bit full of herself as she says how much she’s happy he’s gone. “I genuinely have no clue why you’re so arrogant. There are a lot of things easier than rocket science. Apparently, getting you out of this house is one of them.” Not smart, girlfriend. Jordan talks about wanting an invitation to their wedding. Daniele is up next, and says nothing intelligent. Speaking of no smarts, Rachel finishes the segment by crying about how “at least our babies will see our love story on DVD.” Kill me now! Julie finishes by noting that this will be the longest time they’ve been apart since meeting, and Brendon says they’ll make it ok. Hmmm, keep Skype away from him.

Before the commercial break, though, Julie announces the new twist to the house. Hey Adam, enough of the jig! She informs them that the next houseguest evicted has a chance to return to the game. Not adding any more info, she then tells us how the four original evictees will be competing against next week’s evictee to return to the game. We get to vote on which of the four will be in this competition. Vote Cassi!!!

Finally, it is HOH time, and it’s called “Checkmate”. It’s a “face off” game, where two at a time go up to answer questions about the first three evictees. Jordan and Kalia are first up, and Kalia correctly chooses Dominic. Rachel and Lawon are up next, and this time Rachel is correct. Kalia and Adam are now up, and Adam is now out. Rachel and Porsche are now up, and Rachel yells out an expletive as she screws up her answer. Jeff and Shelly are now up, and Shelly is correct this time. Kali and Porsche come up, and Kalia is once again correct. She’s now up against Shelly for HOH, and Kalia is the new HOH!!! Rachel is not going to be happy about this!!!

We’re through for this week’s episode. What did you think of the editing? Are you happy Brendon is gone? What about Kalia’s surprise HOH victory? Please comment and let us know your thoughts.

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