The moment I’ve been waiting for all summer is finally here. I’ve got my beer and a bunch of snacks next to me as I try to patiently wait for the battle involving both veterans and rookies. Who will be prematurely knocked out of the game? Will the vets use their experience and maturity to outwit the rookies? Who will cast the first blow against their opponents to set up a run for the championship? Thank God football is back!
Oh wait, I’m on the wrong channel. Oh well, it still works as an opening to tonight’s final regular season episode of Big Brother. We have two vets, Jordan and Rachel, and two rookies, Adam and Porsche, fighting to make it into the final rounds of competitions. Adam already guaranteed himself a place in the final three with his perfect score in last night’s HOH competition. Tonight, he’ll nominate two of the other three players, and one of them will be evicted after a veto competition/ceremony. After that, the remaining three will end the show with the start of the first part of the three-part final HOH comps.
After Julie’s introduction, the show begins with a look back at Kalia’s eviction. Porsche is happy to have survived, but she is bummed that she no longer has a strong alliance member. Adam believes his refusal to use the veto proves he’s “firmly in with the veterans. I chose my side. Here we go.”
Kalia heads out the door and Jordan apologizes to Rachel for making her be the deciding vote. She adds in the diary room that her vote was a “strategic move for me because I can tell Kalia that I never broke my word with you. That could possibly be a jury vote for me.” She explains to Adam that she changed her mind the previous night, but Rachel is kind of pissed. “Why do I always have to get blood on my hands? Seriously, Jordan?”
We jump to the end of last night’s HOH victory for Adam, and he says it is a relief to finally have a victory. “My lips are getting a little chapped from kissing a lot of veteran butt, so this week these girls will kiss my butt the way I kissed their butt all season.” Ewwww, but also the most truthful thing he has said all year.
Porsche admits she “sucked at this competition. I definitely wasn’t a reading comprehension student.” Yeah, that’s also pretty honest. She hopes that Adam won’t put her on the block. Jordan says she’s excited for Adam, but she’s also nervous. “Adam, how much sucking up can I do?”
Immediately, Adam lets out a metal scream about seeing his HOH room, and we get the usual Sunday night segment of pictures, smiles, and (in my house, at least) boredom. Of course, he gets bacon and a Tori Spelling picture.
Porsche immediately starts kissing Adam’s ass, helping him carry his stuff into the HOH. “I’m nervous”, Jordan says as her and Rachel watch. Porsche admits that she’d be kissing any HOH ass right now, and she dutifully sits and listens to Adam ramble about how beneficial it is to win this final week. When she finally gets to speak, she says that she wants to be next to him in the final two. Yeah, duh. She adds that while she knows Adam is close to Jordan, she doesn’t want to be with her in the final three.
It’s now Rachel’s turn to grovel, and she’s not happy about kissing a “floater’s butt”. Especially that one, right Rachel? She gives her usual HOH speech, and Adam is clearly loving every second of it.
Finally, it is Jordan’s turn, and she says that he HAS to help her out. Adam admits that while he wants Rachel out, he also kind of wants to “go head to head with her”. Good idea, bacon boy. “You’d understand if I had to nominate you?” Jordan responds that she knows if Porsche wins veto, she’ll put her out, and asks what he would do if he won veto. “We’ll see what happens.” Wow.
Jordan is pissed. “She doesn’t deserve to be final three. Oh my God, Adam…after all we’ve done for you?” Adam just smiles and bumbles his words, but Jordan says she can read his face.
After a commercial break, it is nomination time. This is really a waste of valuable TV time, as it is the veto competition that really matters. Everybody goes through the motions, though, and Adam ultimately nominates Jordan and Porsche. He says “the best night sleep I’ve ever had in this house is the night I won the veto (or was given the veto) and took myself off the block. Rachel has done that already; you two have yet to do that. I’m giving you that opportunity. Earn it, please.” Rachel likes the speech. “Good speech”, she says.
Rachel is shocked and excited, but she does know she HAS to win the veto to guarantee her place in the final three. Jordan agrees, saying she has to quit “lollygagging” and “buckle down, get focused, and win this veto”.
Once we return from another break, it is time for the veto competition. It’s called “Jukebox Veto”, and Jordan says either her or Rachel must win. There are 20 game-related clues on each jukebox, and they have to place pairs of names that match both clues. The first to correctly complete the stack wins.
They all go through the motions of saying that it is important to win, and we’re off. Adam gets the bottom question within seconds, and is confident that he’ll win. Porsche’s strategy is to come up with all of the answers first, and then start stacking.
As she has the entire season, Jordan gets confused. Meanwhile, Porsche has them all lined up, but after hitting the buzzer she discovers there is an error somewhere. Both Rachel and Adam say that kicks them into the gear, but poor Jordan is still lagging behind. Porsche thinks she has fixed her error, and jumps off to win the veto! Adam now admits that it may not be a bad thing to have another noob in the final three, and Rachel cries that she just wanted to do well “for Brendon”. Jordan is also obviously bummed, as she wanted Porsche OUT!
Back inside, Rachel is actually more upset than Jordan. “After losing, I should go home”, says Jordan. Meanwhile, Rachel sneezes, whines, and cries as Jordan continues to say she deserves to leave. Rachel’s main concern seems to be that Brendon may be pissed. They run into Porsche as they had into another room, and Rachel hugs her. Jordan says she feels really bad as they have worked together really well, and tells Rachel that if she makes the finals she will win.
Porsche and Rachel are now drinking wine in the kitchen, and Rachel asks to go talk to her in the purple room. “Jordan is my friend, but I’ve come way too far to go out without trying.” Rachel says that if she saves her, she has a pretty good shot at making the final two as both her and Adam would take her. “if you take Jordan, she’ll probably take Adam.” She continues sucking up to her, leading Porsche to giggle, “I like your arguments.” Porsche says in the diary room that she needs to weigh her choices. Rachel may have made that promise, but she has a better chance at beating Jordan in the final comps.
It is now time for Porsche’s big decision, as we head to the final veto meeting. Obviously, Porsche decides to use the veto on herself, meaning that Rachel is now on the block. Rachel goes first in addressing Porsche for her final plea, and she tells them all how proud she is to spend the summer with them. She eventually stumbles on her words, and concludes. Jordan then gets up and says since she already campaigned she knows she’s going home. She tells Adam that she loves him, and his word is gold, and “Farah is a very lucky woman”. She tells Rachel that she is happy with their friendship, and the way she thinks of her walking out of the game is completely different than when she first walked in. Finally, she addresses Porsche by saying that while they never really talked, “I know you like wearing bikinis and hosting competitions.” She concludes by saying she hopes that her and Jeff’s families are not disappointed.
Porsche then stands and after a bit of nonsense, she evicts Jordan. Jordan then heads out the door, and Julie begins the interview by asking why Porsche voted her out instead of Rachel. Jordan says Porsche is like a “poker face to me”, and that she never got to know her. She then asks about the comments to Adam, especially given that he nominated her. Jordan just says that he had to put up somebody, and she knew he wouldn’t put up both her and Rachel.
Julie’s conversation moves on to Shelly, and Jordan says she was “playing too personal and I wasn’t really playing smart. She was so nice, and I got so caught up in her niceness. Kind of like a mom away from home. I felt really comfortable with her. You can’t trust anyone in here. Even if you’re a mom, you still can’t trust a mom!” Julie also asks about how it seemed like Jordan threw in the towel the last few weeks, and Jordan’s response is how they balanced each other out. When asked what is next for Jordan, she admits she came back because Jeff wanted to do it, but otherwise it will just be “the same old thing”.
Final comments end the segment, and Porsche says that it was because of her closeness to both Rachel and Adam that made her send her home. Adam once again calls her “sweet, sweet Jordan” but otherwise his love and gratitude frankly make no sense. Rachel apologizes for not saving her in the final veto, and is happy that they are now such good friends. “Our boyfriends have the bromance of the century, so we can have our chickmance. Go to the jury with your head held high because you’re an amazing person and I’ve made a lifelong friend in you.”
So now the real fun begins, as the start of the first part of the three-part final competition begins. The competition is called the “Big Brother Mixer”, and the last person hanging on the mixer blade wins. The “mixer” is hanging above a giant vat of butter, and after it spins around a little bit other “ingredients” are spit on them. When we return from another commercial break, we see that the mixer has also lowered them partway into the pit.
We’re done here. What did you think of the episode? Did Adam betray Jordan? Did Porsche make the correct move? Who will win tonight’s competition? Please, please, please tell us your thoughts!