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« Willie has a blowup with Frank last night. Who ended up in worse shape? | Main | The Worst Porno Ever! »
Tuesday
Jul172012

Meet King Willie!

In case you haven't noticed, Willie has spent his entire reign as HOH lying on his giant throne greeting his peasants only to make sure they follow his rule. Every conversation ultimately includes promises to not repeat what he commands them to do, so each of them have ran around the house believing they are the King's Chosen One.

The two constants in the King's quarters are his loyal Hand, Britney, and his Head Knight, Janelle. They have spent hours and hours listening to the King's convoluted theories and plans, and have reported any dissent they have seen in the rest of the house.

Unfortunately for the King, there has been revolution talk amongst his subjects, and the last twelve hours he has attempted to keep his reign from falling. 

While this revolt has rippled up now and then over the last two days, particularly whenever Head Chef Joe opens his big mouth, dissension amongst his Royal Guard is what has sent him into crisis mode.

While making her rounds late last night, King's Hand Britney caught Head Knight Janelle actually having a conversation with Britney's biggest enemy, Coach Dan!

How dare Janelle consort with the enemy! Doesn't she know that Section 8, Rule 9 of the Brenchel Rules of Big Brother Court state that it is expressley forbidden to chat with the opposing side of the House??? This is an unspeakable crime against the Holy King!

After stomping around for a few minutes, Britney ultimately ended up kneeling at the King's bed, expressing her contempt for their Head Knight. Unfortunately, she didn't stop there. She also confessed that there is a Higher Power that may lead to them usurping their King sometime in the next few weeks.

Now the King may not be the smartest tool in this giant tool shed, but the wheels in his head quickly spun to the right setting. This is not good news for His Majesty! This completely ruins every plan and scenario that ran through his brain these last ten days. He had EVERYTHING figured out to waltz right to victory lane, and now those who washed his feet will probably take power!

Oh yeah, this could not be left alone. "You have to tell the peasants", he commanded to his Hand. "No, my fair King", she replied. "I just can't." These lines were repeated with  little variation for the next hour until Britney was so dizzy she her lazy eye closed, forcing the other to quickly follow.

Fast forward a few hours, and the King was seen gathering his peasants for an emergency meeting. Surprisingly, he put on a gentle face as he laid on his throne next to his potential Queen, Joho. "Play your own game." To ensure this mantra sunk into his subjects, he repeated it at least a dozen times. Only that traitor cook dared to speak up against His Majesty, but who takes a cook seriously?

Meanwhile, the coaches were having their own meeting. Well, three of them were, as Boogie became the smartest man in the house by taking a nap. Truthfully, their meeting mainly consisted of small talk, as the Hand was clearly too scared to inform the Knight of the info she gave the King.

The big question during the meeting, though, was which subject would crack first, and how quickly. The answer was as predicted - it was Joe, and he almost leaped over the stairway to race to the Knight with the info. Within a few minutes other subjects informed their coaches of what they King had to say, while the King himself decided that he was going to take a break from game talk. Yeah, right. That won't last long.

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