I have a confession to make, and it pains me to admit this. In the interest of fairness, though, I have to admit to you, my fine readers, that I’m just not excited about tonight’s episode. While it has been a tumultuous first week in the house with seemingly every player trying to fit a whole season in just a few days, the actual eviction episode is bound to be anticlimactic.
It didn’t have to be that way, as the decision on who to evict changed almost every day. Wait, I take that back. It seemed to change by the hour! Yet somewhere last night the final decision was debated for the last time, and unless a handful of people are good at poker faces the outcome is predictable.
It’s not just the actual eviction that has me a bit less than enthusiastic. Last night’s CBS episode (and the previous two) showed that CBS believes that all the viewers care about are the so-called “legendary” coaches. Last night they had the entire focus of the show, and I don’t see that changing tonight. Meanwhile, the ten new players who don’t have Hantz as a last name are completely ignored except for filler entertainment.
However, I am a bit excited for the last few minutes of the show, as if it goes off as I’m hoping it could set the stage for an even more crazy few days. I’m not counting on this happening, though, as it is very rare that the broadcast version of this show lives up to any expectations.
So let’s get this over with by starting off with the predictable reactions to Shane’s decision to not use the veto. Guess what? The nominated people aren’t happy, and neither are their coaches! What a shocker! Oh yes, and Shane repeated the only sentence he knows about not wanting “blood on my hands”.
Frank heads upstairs to talk to Willie. He thinks that Willie is the key to staying in the house, so he sucks up to him by saying that he’s the only one he trusts. “You’re still good to stay in this house”, replies Willie. “I’m telling you that I’m going to get you your votes this week. The only way it would stop is if you run around and start talking to people.” FORESHADOW ALERT! Willie doesn’t stop babbling, though, and claims that he controls the entire house. Hmmm, interesting.
Dimwit Shane now comes up to talk to Willie, as does a bunch of other noobs, Britney, and Janelle. Willie informs them that as a group they need to decide who to keep. Wil makes a case for either decision, but Britney wants to boot Kara so that Dan is down to his last player. “He has magic powers, and when he talks to you hear an angel chorus.” Willie adds that if Kara becomes the next HOH (pretty unlikely), Dan will make her put up some of their crew. The decision has been made – it’s Kara that’s going home.
Janelle decides that she doesn’t want Dan “gunning” for her, so she goes outside and sits with him. “I don’t know why, but they really want to keep Frank…these people are stupid.” Meanwhile, Britney is giving her the evil eye (or maybe one of them is just wandering) as Janelle complains about going with the majority of the house. Oh, little Brit is pissed.
Now Britney is sitting inside eating cereal, and she just happens to notice that her name on the wall also has a place for the key. We’re supposed to believe a little light bulb just hit at that very moment, instead of the constant babbling about this very topic she had done with Janelle. She “now” believes the coaches may be entering the game at some point as a big twist.
She just has to head up to King Willie with this theory. “There’s two missing weeks.” She also believes that Janelle has partnered up with Dan to stay in the game. Ooooh, Willie is not happy because that screws up his entire game. “I’m nobody’s pawn in this game.”
Jump ahead to a sunny afternoon, and Britney is sitting with a number of people saying how she just wants to forget there is a game and “live harmoniously”. Willie, though, wants to stir some shit. “I want to have a house meeting with just the people that are playing the game.” Britney is not happy with this development. “I’m just seeing my entire game go down in flames.” Janelle attempts to follow them in, but Willie sends her packing.
After they head into the HOH, Dan tells Janelle and Britney that if that was one of his players. “I would have nixed that”. Janelle doesn’t seem to care, though.
Willie starts the ball rolling by saying that they’re being played by the coaches, and they could change the game by ignoring their coaches. Daniele interrupts, but I cannot for the life of me understand what she says.
Back outside, Britney wants to know where Boogie is. He’s napping. Meanwhile, Willie is telling everybody the key situation, and that the coaches may enter the game. Ian assists in this discussion by saying the show needs at least 13 people to play the game.
Oh wait, we have a Judas. Joe believes that they’re jumping the gun, playing too hard, and making too many assumptions. A quick edit goes to Wil claiming that he’s going to take a 24 hour break from “playing the game”. The segment ends with Willie proclaiming that if the coaches enter the game, they’ll walk away with the half million.
After a commercial break, it is time for round two of the big fight. Frank claims that he felt better about his chances before the “town hall meeting”, and he’s second guessing how Willie is playing the game, so he’s now back into the HOH to see “where his head’s at”. This won’t end well. Willie claims that nothing has changed, and that they “need to stay strong”. For some reason, Britney enters the room and Willie makes fun of Wil’s proclamation to not play for 24 hours. Frank shakes his head, and says he “was rubbed the wrong way”.
Frank heads back downstairs and informs Joe and Jenn that he doesn’t like this situation. Neither does Joe, who claims that Willie wants a split vote so nobody can figure out who voted for whom. A flashback shows this exact conversation, and now Frank is completely pissed. “I don’t think I can trust him, and I don’t think he’s somebody I want to work with.”
Completely incensed, Frank tells the story of Willie mocking Wil, and dumb Joe is “not happy with that all. That’s not part of the game.” So Joe runs and tells Wil, who “does not tolerate one frickin’ ounce of anybody making fun of anybody. Willie mocking me is going to come back to bite him in the ass, and I’m going to make damned sure it does.”
Wil, along with Frank, go off to let Britney know of this situation, and here is exactly where it turns from mocking his voice to a supposed “gay slur”. Britney doesn’t believe it. “I think Willie is a good person.” Of course, she runs upstairs and tells Willie he’s “screwed”. The entire story is repeated to Willie, and that Frank is supposedly turning the entire house against him.
Now we’re outside, and Willie is claiming to Frank that he’s been trying to save him all week. “Is that really true?”, Frank replies. “I’ve been begging everybody to keep you”, claims Willie. This silliness goes back and forth for quite some time, with Willie saying that all Frank had to do is shut up. “I have to protect myself. This is my game, Willie”. Finally, Willie stands up and screams that he wants everybody to vote Frank out.
Finally, Boogie can’t take it anymore and asks Willie “who died and left you boss?” Point to Boogie! “Why do you get to tell everybody what to do?” As he walks out, Boogie asks “are you all going to bullied by him?” Meanwhile, Britney looks ready to commit suicide.
Uh oh, before the commercials Julie promised a “big surprise” for the coaches. I’m scared.
After the break, it is time for Julie to talk to the house. She asks Jojo about the mood of the house. “I’ll be honest. A little weird; a little tension. I didn’t think it would be like this the first week so soon.” As a superfan, Julie wants to know from Ian if it has lived up to his expectations. He’s loved every second of it. Wil is then asked for one word to describe the past thirteen days – “goodness”. Ashley is asked the same question and replies “loosey goose”. Oh Lord. Willie says “crazy”, but Julie wants one word to describe his reign. As always, he goes off on a speech, but Julie presses him for one word. “Just extreme. Just pressure.” You idiot. Boogie is then asked if playing as a player or coach is harder, and he says it’s obviously the coaching role.
As they say on BBUK, it’s “crunch time”, and Frank gets to go first. He wants to stay, and promises to fight hard. “Nobody should let a bully dictate how they play this game, or how you vote. Bullying is not ok outside this house, or inside this house. If the coaches are telling you to get rid of me, think about what’s best for your game. But if they’re telling you to keep me, please listen to your coaches.”
Kara is up next, and she says she’s played an “honest” game (she hasn’t played ANY game), and she also reminds everybody to vote on what will be good for their individual game. She adds something about how a person on their team has made a deal with the person you’re trying to save. What does that even mean?
The voting now begins Daniele, who votes to evict Frank, as does Shane. Joe, though, votes to evict Kara, Ian. It’s now tied as we go to a break.
When voting resumes, Jojo votes to evict Frank. Jenn then votes to evict Kara, as does Wil. Ashley is the final vote, and her vote to evict Kara decides the contest! By a vote of 5-3, Kara is the second person evicted from Big Brother 14! Btw, CBS, take off the viewer tweets from my screen.
Once she finally leaves the house, Julie kicks off the interview by asking why she was evicted. She claims that people are scared of her coach, but overall she really doesn’t know. She claims that Dan was a great coach…the “best coach possible”. Julie then asks about Kara’s shyness, and whether it cost her. She now wishes she had gone against Dan’s wishes and talked more. The segment ends with taped goodbyes, and after Daneile’s typical indecipherable nonsense, we have to endure Joe’s idiot “you got the looks but you ain’t got the game!” Ugh. Shane says he’s sad to see her “long legs” go, and Dan ends by admitting he let her down. Oh, and Julie says that Hugh Hefner tweeted support for her.
It’s HOH competition time, but before we get to that, we are shown footage of the house being awakened multiple times last night by “BBTV Breaking News” of a cat burglar in the house. It’s a quiz game called “Big Brother Break-In”, and the questions are all about the videos they saw. Each question has a guilty or not guilty response, and the last one standing is the new HOH.
Everybody has the correct “guilty” answer on whether the burglar stole a carpet tile. The second question is about the number of bites of food in the storage room, and Shane is now out. The next question is about which leg he shaved, and all but Frank and Wil are out! They both answer not guilty to a hat question, and they’re both wrong. They also both guess correctly for the next question, but a question about gloves leads to a wrong answer from Wil. Frank is the next HOH!!! Willie is not happy, and immediately storms out of the backyard!
Before the show ends, we head back into the house, and Julie congratulates Frank. “It feels great to go from the hot seat to the guy who is going to be upstairs next week.” Boogie is asked about his feeling about his player winning, and he’s “super elated. My man was out the door 48 hours ago.” Ugh, he calls the HOH Chilltown North. Janelle is then asked to compare this past week to her first two appearances on the show, and she says it was like they played three weeks in one week. “Usually, everybody knows who is leaving. This time it was up in the air until the last minute.”
Julie then addresses the coaches, and says that the winner of the coach’s competition “has an even bigger decision to make”. The winner can either make one of their player’s safe, or choose to trade one of their players for another coach’s player. Ugh. Everybody is eligible to be traded except for the HOH.
And…scene. Were you happy with tonight’s episode? Are you glad Frank was saved, and ultimately won HOH? How about this insipid “big” coach’s twist?