Alright, my friends, you better have your popcorn ready tonight, as this is going to be a good one. Tonight is the bitter and disgraceful end of the reign of King Willie, and hopefully a lot of questions are answered.
But how much of the King's fall will we see? As we talked about last night on The Big Brother Gossip Show, there's a good chance that the typical Big Brother Sunday night template will be altered to capitalize on what could be the show's best chance for a ratings boom. I predict that we won't see the nominations; instead, tonight's broadcast will cut off right as Willie goes off on Joe and Janelle. Wednesday's show will then show the true fireworks and his departure.
So here we go!!! It's flashback time, just in case you forgot what happened three days ago. Yes, Frank, you made a comeback, and Willie is not happy. Janelle adds that aligning her team with Frank is a smart move for the time being. Ashley explains her vote to evict Kara as a way to get rid of somebody who was going to play her game - slipping "under the radar". Interesting.
After Kara's departure, Willie is seen steaming and Dan is consoling his remaining player, Daniele, by telling her that he won't "let her down" like he did Kara. Yeah, I'm sure that makes her feel better. He also adds that even with "one chip", Big Brother allows you to play so he's still in the running.
Meanwhile, Frank and Boogie are jumping around. Boogie explains that the vote was basically the house versus Willie. "The house decided that the best chance to get rid of Willie is to keep Frank. Kara probably wasn't going to dare to go after him." Boogie advises Frank to "go out and get HOH". This is exactly what Frank does, of course, and the two continue to gloat. Ugh, the Frank and Boogie Show is old already.
As they celebrate their victory, Willie storms out. "At this moment, I really don't want to talk to anybody. The worst person that could have won won...I'm going to stay fighting, and hopefully win POV and then HOH next week." Foreshadowing? Shane adds that he's considering dropping his affiliation with Willie.
Janelle is now seen consoling Britney, and says that "I now you like Willie, but he needs to go". In the diary room, Janelle adds that it was impossible to keep her alliance with Britney because Willie is so uncontrollable. Ugh, there goes the "bully" word from Janelle. "The entire house wants him out." Britney adds in the diary room that Willie has embarrassed her, and that it was a mistake to pick him for her team. "It's a disaster."
Dan is still giving Daniele advice, and his plan for her is to "get closer to Janelle's team". Once again, we have to endure coaching analogies from Dan, but it does seem to be sinking in on that little psycho nurse/kindergarten teacher.
Now Frank is in the storage room, and it is Jojo's time to suck up. She babbles nonsense about how she is such a "loyal person. It was nothing personal against you." She says in the diary room that she wants to stay loyal to Willie, but continues to talk shit about him. "I think I can work my magic on Frank." Girl, you have no magic...especially when you talk.
Interesting...we're already at the boring section of the show where we have to view Frank's HOH room, and we have not seen Britney tearing a new asshole into Willie. That was the post-eviction show story of the night, as she carried on and on and on. Willie also has no desire to go through this idiocy, but does wander up for a few minutes. Boogie also gets some HOH stuff, and we get a (non-)touching moment of him showing a picture of his child. Willie hangs around for a bit, and then disappears.
Oh, here we go with Britney chewing out Willie. He calmly walks into the lounge room (whatever it's called), saying it's all "no big thing", and she then rips into him for being egotistical, a brute, and the cause of all things wrong in the entire world. Nope, Britney, you made yourself the fool, not the King.
Filler time, as Shane and Daniele flirt. Awful, even with a rare Jenn appearance from the diary room. Plus, I still can't understand a word that twit says.
Now we get to some stuff about the coaching twist. Britney walks into a room where Dan and Boogie are rehashing various scenarios, and Britney says it's doubtful that anybody would actually trade except for her. Boogie counters by saying neither him or Dan are "obvious players", and babbles that getting rid of Willie wouldn't really save her for being the target team since she also has Shane. Britney claims in the diary room that she can't be screwed over by Boogie. Yeah, right.
More filler, as Dan and Janelle talk about how hard it is to be in the house while married and with a kid. Come on, CBS! You have a shitload of major material to show and you're wasting our time with this bullshit!!!
And the time-wasting continues, as once again we see Boogie mentoring Ian. Come on, while I will admit Boogie has given him some good advice you can't possibly believe viewers will buy Boogie as a mentor while wearing the godawful clothing he is constantly sporting on the show.
In fact, this is old, old, old material. In fact, this is from over a week ago, as Ian tells Boogie that he wants to have a date with Ashley. What.The.Fuck. They relay the info to Dan, who goes and drags Ashley outside to propose this "slop date". Ashley plays the role, though, saying that she has a "soft spot for the cute, little nerdy guys with glasses". For the real story, go back to my post from last Monday called "The Worst Porno".
Finally, we move on to game stuff. Britney is in the lounge with Jojo and Shane, and asks what they've been thinking. Shane says they have to "separate from Willie". Jojo adds that it may be better in the long run to just lose Willie now rather than hurting them all for weeks to come. "If there's a way that I can try to keep both of you in the game this week, that's what I'm going to do. I don't think it's fair what has happened; that Willie's actions are going to come back to bite you."
It's now time for the Coach's competition, and Frank and Boogie are dressed in...um, I'm not sure what they're dressed as. Old school NYC white rappers??? They all head out back to the lamest inner city set I've ever seen. There are telephone booths, "graffiti", newspaper stands. Um, it's awful, even with Ian trying to explain it to use.
So the players are all supposedly dressed as old school rappers, but they look...um, ridiculous. Britney doesn't understand the gold pants, either. "I don't know if I'm supposed to be a genie or...a waiter." The actual game consists of transferring bricks of money across a balance beam, and if they drop it they're out of the game.
After the requisite I "have" to win this game, except for Dan who says he's building a weak persona by constantly losing. "We've got to keep it up." Britney jumps out to a huge lead, which is accompanied by silly diary room lines from the rest of the cast, until she knocks over her stack of cash.
Ian now uses physics to inform Boogie how he needs to proceed, and he's in the running with Janelle. Boogie is just a bit ahead of Janelle, but jumps off the beam BEFORE pushing the button. OMG!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Britney loves that he fucked up! "What an idiot!"
Janelle obviously then wins, and she proclaims that the "comp queen is back in the house". She then has to decide whether to trade or keep a player safe, and she decides to keep Ashley safe. "I'm going to need Ashley in this game. I want her to focus and bring her a little bit closer to me, so I kept her safe this week."
Janelle also has to pick the week's have-nots. "I'm definitely picking Willie. Jojo, Shane, and I'm sorry Ian, but you're going to have to take it again if you want the BB experience." Jojo is steaming, especially that she put Shane back on slop. "You're just a mean bitch."
After another commercial break, the house walks in from the competition to find the results of this week's America's Choice for the Have-Nots - pork rinds and pudding. Stupid Jojo decides we need to hear her talk like Fran Drescher. Really, she does. It's terrible. Ian has no problems with this selection, as "pudding is one of the best have-not food choices in the history of Big Brother".
As everybody is milling about, Willie attempts to pull Shane and Jojo into another room. Shane has no desire to follow him - "no, I'm good for a little bit". Britney denies this little meeting, and says in the diary room that Willie is "dead to us". She pulls Jojo into the have-not bedroom, and tells her that she can't be caught talking to him. "When he tells you to come some where, don't go."
The kitchen is now empty except for Jojo, and Willie walks in and says that he's "gonig to get the heat off y'all". Britney then walks in, and tells him to "just stop".
Upstairs, the rest of the crew is gloating. Downstairs, Britney continues to berate Willie before finally telling him to just go "act like that upstairs".
"You think I'm scared", replies Willie. He suddenly sprints up to the HOH room, leaving Britney to continue to complain about him to Jojo. As the HOH crew catch him coming up via the skycam, Willie stops and explains that his anger is because the rest of the team are getting the backlash he caused. "It makes no sense, and I'm about to square that up right now."
Joe rushes to the HOH door, but Willie barges in, saying "I fucked up last week, right? Y'all ain't gotta blame them (Jojo and Shane)." Joe pipes in, saying that those two "chose to stay with you, brother". He then lays out the line that has been repeated for the last two days, that "I'm going to get myself evicted before I get out that door".
Jojo is now shown complaining about Willie to Daniele, as Willie wanders across the house and into that same room. Jojo says that she's sorry but she can't associate with him. He paces around the room as Jojo scatters back to her pudding. "I'm not letting him take me down with him."
Willie continues to pace, and then walks back out into the kitchen. He starts nibbling on a pork rind, and suddenly says "I've never seen a bigger group of pussies in my life". Britney, of course, has to whine back, and Willie says he's "not going out with class". Joe then heads back to the kitchen, and as he walks past Willie says "there's a bunch of (bleeps) in this bitch". Joe asks him what he said, and Willie races to confront him. Ian, dressed in a towel from his shower, attempts to play peace maker as we go to a commercial with Willie and Joe about to punch each other.
When we return, Willie gets into Joe's face, and the noise brings everybody down to see what's going on. Despite what we've been told, Willie doesn't really give Joe a headbutt. They're face to face, and Willie just pushes him with his forehead. We then hear BB tell Willie to go into the bedroom, and it is Janelle's turn to get into Willie's face. "It's our house, too. You don't own this place." Despite what we've been told (primarily by Janelle herself), Willie doesn't really throw a pork rind at her. Well, he kind of does, but it's nowhere near as exciting as I was hoping it would be. Joe is told by BB to not follow Willie, and Jojo consoles Britney. Well, everybody consoles each other in various rooms. Willie is instructed to come to the diary room.
Inside, we see them say, "I need you to come with me", as he walks away from the diary room area.
Now Jenn is consoling Britney, because you know it is all about her. Jojo is still complaining to Shane that they're "going to go down for him", but Boogie is laughing about the whole situation.
Alison Grodner's voice comes on the speakers, and the house is called into the living room. She reads a statement that "violence is not tolerated in the Big Brother house, so Willie has been removed from the game". Britney says she's relieved, but coming from "a game perspective, this is the worst thing that can happen to me as a coach". Yes, Brit, it's all about you. Ian says that he deserved it, and will go down in history as "the least dignified history in Big Brother history". Shane repeats Jojo's mantra that it sucks for them, and in a rare Boogie moment he actually sounds a bit contrite as he talks about what Willie gave up due to a bad temper. Joe ends the segment, and show, by screaming at the camera that he hopes that Willie finds peace.
That's it, folks. I'm a bit shocked that they showed the entire Willie segment, but I'm also pissed that so much of the show was wasted with silliness (and old footage). What did you think of tonight's show? Did you think the entire Willie saga was Britney's fault? let us know your thoughts.