Life without Willie. These words seemed to be an impossibility just a week ago. He was our General, as my friend Colette Lala called him. Our very own Tyrion (and just a bit taller). A "One Man Revolution", as Tom Morello sings on his most recent album. Viva Le Revolution! "Little Willie" did indeed go home, but life goes on in the Big Brother house...just with a bit less intensity. Ok, a lot less intensity.
Tonight's show should feel condensed, since we didn't get our normal nomination conclusion this past Sunday. That means we get noms, a veto comp, and a veto meeting...plus replays of King Willie's exit and I'm sure a bit of cheese. That's a lot of material in 42 minutes.
We start off with the typical rundown of the entire season to date, just in case you forgot what has happened in the past three days. The actual show commences with yet another replay of Willie's ouster, and the house reaction to Allison Grodner's announcement. Ian recounts his front row eyewitness view of the Joe/Willie encounter, saying that even though he was clad only in a towel he wanted to break it up. "I was extremely scared at that point in time."
Britney does what she does best this season - whine. Everybody hates her, her team's backs are against the wall, blah blah blah. She really sounds like Rachel this year...without the victories. Shane says he was "frustrated" and "petrified" because he knows that he is now a prime target for Frank. Just in case you didn't get that the first time, Dan repeats almost verbatim this thoery. Shane, Jojo, and Daniele are in trouble.
Leaving the whiners downstairs, Janelle, Boogie, and Frank head upstairs to celebrate. "We now get to nominate and evict somebody else", shouts Boogie. "Two for one this week. It's happy hour, baby!"
Jenn joins the party animals, and Janelle asks about this week's targets. Claiming it's a risky move, Boogie says he's pushing for Daniele and "one of our team", so Shane and Jojo aren't even in the thing. Then whoever wins the veto would use it, to be replaced by either Shane or Jojo. Wait, what?
Janelle isn't too keen on what Boogie is saying, and says in the diary room that she still doesn't trust him even though she's working with him. "I don't want any of my players going up, even as a pawn." Jenn is also incredulous. "I'm not interested in this plan, because in Big Brother the pawns go home." Frank, though, thinks it's an interesting plan.
Meanwhile, Shane and Jojo are drowning in their own tears downstairs. Shane figured he would have been on the block anyway, but with Willie gone "I don't know what to expect". Jojo decides that she "deserves" a shot from Frank, and barges into the HOH. "I at least deserve a chance."
Jojo does her best Britney impression, complaining how it isn't fair and she "swears on my grandma's life that I was going to have your back. Obviously, I've shown that I'm loyal to those I align myself with." Yes, my dear, and that's why you are in this situation. Frank counters that he told her last week that if she voted for him "I know that I can trust you". Well, that didn't happen, thanks to King Willie's demands. In case you didn't recall, CBS replays that footage. Jojo's response is that Willie "put it in my head that you can't be trusted". Wow, this is a nothing conversation, and Jojo's diary room explanations don't aid her in this cause.
Three days late (in TV time, at least), it's finally nomination time. The keys are pulled by Jenn, Ian, Joe, Wil, and Daniele. Yes, Jojo and Shane are nominated. Frank comes right out and says that it is because they were aligned with Willie. Shane says he saw it coming, but Daniele is worried that she will be the replacement nominee if either of the noms win the veto.
Britney pulls her two players into the Have-Not room to cheer them up. Wait, it's Britney. What was I thinking? No, she plays up the pity party instead, babbling about how much this week is going to suck. Wow, she really is a terrible coach. "We're all having to go down because of Willie." She continues in the diary room, but she's sounding more and more like Daniele every day. Britney also tells them both to lay low this week. Yep, don't fight at all. Nice work.
Meanwhile, Boogie is reminding Frank that Daniele has had a pretty easy ride so far this season. His plan for Frank is to attempt to "nurture" relationships with both of the nominees, since at least one of them will still be in the house.
It's now time to pick the veto players, and Frank draws out Ian's name. Shane, who doesn't care what name he picks, gets Ashley's name. Both Dan and Daniele want her name pulled, but it isn't meant to be as Wil is pulled by Jojo. The host is Joe (ugh). Daniele is pissed, as "I have to watch my fate be determined by every one else who is getting to play". Hey, I was able to transcribe a Daniele diary room statement!
Before we get to the veto comp, we have to have some idiotic filler. Ashley wants to have babies and get married, and she says "looks aren't huge for me". Please, kill me now as she goes through everything she likes in a man.
Ok, it is game time. Joe is dressed as a mariachi, and it's obviously a Mexican-themed competition, complete with margaritas. The contestants are dressed as giant chips, and there are giant dipping bowls. They must reach in these bowls and grab the "ingredients" listed on the menu.
After lots of babbling about "do or die" and "controlling my destiny", the game begins. In case you forgot the rules, Ian repeats them for us before another Long Island cliche from Jojo. Ian adds that he has an advantage because he has a photographic memory, but we also have to endure more Ashley craziness. Seriously, she is becoming another Daniele.
Ok, time to fast forward to the conclusion. Shane is the first to lock in his results, followed by Ian, Jojo, Frank, and Wil. For some reason, Ashley continues on...and on and on. "She is slower than pond water", says Joe (I think).
The results start with Ashley, who had 13 of 16 right. Wil had a perfect board to take the lead, but so does Frank, Jojo, Ian...and after commercials, so does Shane. This week's POV goes to Shane!
For once, Britney gets to actually celebrate (with a little help from margaritas), and Shane heads up to chat with Frank and Boogie. "Sorry I screwed up your plans", he says. "Now you know I'm legit." Boogie says that they're not unhappy with these results, and Shane says that he does want to work with them. He claims that he doesn't care about the coaches, and that it is an individual game. Boogie babbles some metaphor about a wounded animal, calling Shane a "wounded pet". "If he can be loyal to Willie, imagine what he can do for me!" Boogie tells Shane to not breath a word of what they're talking about to Britney, Jojo, or Dan, and after he leaves tells Frank he believes he can trust him.
Of course, talking is what Shane does next, as Britney grills him on what went on. Oh wait, he really doesn't, as he denies that they made any deals with him. Nicely played, at least as far as what CBS is showing us tonight.
Dan is now talking to Daniele, and has an interesting theory that if he's seen attempting to help her it will actually make it worse for her. Has the Britney germs infected the whole house? In the diary room, he claims that this is a "coaching technique" to "light a fire underneath" her. Um, whatever. Shane walks in, and this gives Dan an opportunity to leave. Daniele jumps right in and asks who Shane is going to vote for. Just like last week, he claims that he doesn't know but that Jojo is on his team.
Instead of lighting a fire under her, she just heads into another room and cries about how she "has nobody...I feel so rejected and unwanted". This could be my favorite moment of the episode.
At the same time, Shane heads into the have-not room to inform Jojo that he wants to convince Frank to put up somebody besides Daniele as the replacement nominee. "I'm going to tell him to put up Wil. Backdoor him. Get him out of this game." Jojo loves this plan! They're going to tell Frank that if any of them win the next HOH, including Daniele, they won't put up Frank. Instead, they'll target Janelle's team.It's the next morning, and Frank and Shane are the earliest outside. After some small talk, Shane launches into his plan. Is Frank buying it? I guess we'll find out in the last segment during the veto ceremony...
...which just happens to be the next segment of the show. Since it is his second week reading these lines, Shane shows a bit of improvement in his script reading, and everybody else does their job before Shane makes the obvious announcement. Frank stands up and..puts up Daniele in his place. Yeah, despite CBS's attempt to create a storyline, Frank does as expected. Frank explains that it is too early to do some risky like nominating Wil, and Daniele complains that it sucks to be up. Jojo adds that she's a "fighter", and that she "wants it way more than she does". Wait, you can't use Dan's football cliches! In 30 seconds, Dan makes up for it by tossing out at least a half dozen other cliches. Make it stop!
There we go for tonight's episode, and I have to say that squeezing that extra segment made this a quicker-paced show than most Wednesday episodes. Take out that awful portion of the show featuring Ashley and you'd actually have a show that makes sense. What do you think? Did Ashley and Daniele annoy you as much as me? Should Frank have put up Wil instead of Daniele? Let us know what you think will happen tomorrow night!