Danielle Murphree. This dolt is a person who shouldn’t even show up on tonight’s episode. She’s not the current Head of Household. She’s not nominated, doesn’t win POV (spoiler alert!), and isn’t a replacement nominee.
Yet this crazy 50 Shades of Grey/The Rules aficionado (I’m assuming) is going to be all over this episode, mainly due to two reasons. One, she won’t leave the real HOH, Shane, alone for more than a few seconds. Trust me, this isn’t because he desires her presence. There’s no doubt that he’d rather she slither off into a corner (any corner) and not interact with him at all.
The second reason, and the most evil of the two, is the desire of CBS to rewrite the Rachel/Brendon storyline from the last two years…or the Jeff and Jordan “Dumb and Dumber” rewrite from their two seasons. As pathetic as both of those pairs were, though, at least they actually had a relationship. When it comes to Shane and Danielle, though, CBS is forced to copy/paste clips from different parts of conversations, sometimes spread out over days, to give the catladies something to accompany their bon bons and convenience store wine.
With that rant off my mind, it’s show time! Guess what? They begin the show with reactions to the nominations of Joe and Ashley. Shocker! Shane is calm, Joe (“the biggest target”) screams, a heavily-medicated Ashley cries, and Janelle schemes.
As always, Frank and Boogie run into a bedroom to celebrate. Boogie says the “game is getting too easy”. Oh boy, this could actually be good later tonight. At the same time, Janelle is informing Britney that she’s not mad at her. Like most of this season so far, Britney claims to be oblivious to Shane’s plan. Janelle says she’s “still willing to work with you guys”. She asks Britney if they realize how dangerous Boogie is, and Britney’s response is that this is how people feel about her. In the diary room, Britney concedes that she still doesn’t completely trust Janelle.
Janelle leaves, and Shane is now in the HOH all apologetic to Britney. Yet she claims that either way, this will work for them, and then proceeds to tell him everything Janelle just told her. “Janelle knows that if we win POV or they win POV, they need you. They need numbers, so she’s going to still be willing to work with you.” The option to put up Frank still exists, after all.
We’re back into the lounge area, and Janelle tells her team that they still need to talk to Shane, and that “it’s really bad if he thinks that you’re mad at him.” This advice doesn’t sit well with Wil, who says “I don’t want to be known as an ass-kisser”. Ashley agrees, but Janelle pushes on that they still have to push Shane to realize that he is safe if they somehow save themselves. Joe isn’t buying it, and screams in the diary room about her “love and butterflies” speech. “I just want to tell this dude how I fell, and I am pissed!”
Joe eventually does heed her advice, though, and make his way up to the HOH. Wow, we’re a full ten minutes into the show before the nightmare appears on the screen. Joe does an adequate job at kissing up to Shane, saying he made a smart move that he, the biggest threat in the house, would have also done. He says he does indeed want to work with “the strongest competitor in here”, which causes Shane to retort, “I wish you would have realized this two weeks ago”. POW! Joe’s eyes bulge, but he holds back until he can get back to the diary room for more screaming about “manners”. He does say it “sucks” and that he’s “mad”, but Shane isn’t too interested. “Is Joe trying to get on my good side”, he asks in the diary room. Joe adds that they’ll have to take him to the hospital “before I don’t win (POV) tomorrow”. Yeah, right. Joe’s silly.
Time to pick veto players, and Shane draws the witch…I mean, Danielle. This definitely pleases Shane, but not for the reason he states. He knows she has ZERO chance of winning. Ashley pulls out HouseGuest choice, and picks Wil. That’s good news, according to Janelle. “We have really good odds at winning this thing.” Too bad for Joe, though, as he pulls Frank’s name…the one name he just screamed he didn’t want. The host for this competition is Jenn, so at least she gets some screen time tonight.
They head outside, and it is a circus tent set. They’re all dressed as clowns, but Britney wonders why Frank is the only one “in the bozo wig”. Each contestant must roll two balls on different ramps at the same time. When a ball hits the ground, they’re out.
Yep, we get the usual “I have to win” speeches, and Frank just needs to make sure Joe or Wil doesn’t win. He thinks it doesn’t matter otherwise. For some reason, Britney gives Shane advice on how to keep the balls going, which is funny given how awful she is at competitions.
The game begins, and is over-explained, and Wil is the first one out. Joe is next, followed by Frank. Wait, Daniele is still in? Oh, not anymore. It’s between Ashley and Shane, and guess who wins? Yep, it’s Shane’s third POV victory in a row! Frank thinks this is “great for me”, but Joe is pissed enough to scream at the camera. Oh yeah, he always does that.
After commercials, Britney is now celebrating in the HOH. “You’re so lucky you picked me”, says Shane. Britney adds that it’s now “time for Janelle to know what it feels like to lose a player”. Really? She does a little Janelle imitation as she complains on how “annoying” her team is. “All they do is make up songs, braid hair, (and) cook.” Shane says he “can’t wait to see what offer Joe brings to the table”, but Britney says she’ll “shoot myself in the face” if she has to sit through that drivel. Me too! She then does a SPOT-ON imitation of him. This is the Britney I have missed this year!
They see Janelle and Joe on the screen making their way upstairs, and they’re not happy to see them already. “Can’t we have two minutes of peace”, Britney says in the diary room. “So annoying.” Janelle keeps it short and sweet, though, saying that Frank is the guy they should be targeting. “You have two of my players on the block, and I’m not trying to downplay them, but they can’t fucking win anything.” Valid point!
Britney counters, though, that while the two of them get along, Janelle’s players don’t seem to even want to work with Shane. Wil then also enters, as does Ashley almost immediately after. Britney is pissed, as she just wants to do what she does best – nap. Janelle jumps back on the offensive, saying that Frank and Boogie won’t take them to the end. It will be either Jenn or Ashley. Wait, Ashley was just there. Where is she now? Nice editing!
For some reason, Janelle then throws out her wedding ring as collateral that her word is gold, and also pledges her Chanel earrings. We talked about this last week on the Big Brother Gossip Show, and I still don’t understand this move.
The segment ends with Janelle saying she now needs to do some work with Joe, as she knows that Boogie is downstairs scheming. Actually, he’s not, as he’s sitting in silence with Frank and Ian. Well, not complete silence, as Boogie asks an exercise question.
Joe is lying around in the lounge area, and Janelle comes in to tell him that he MUST tell Shane that he wants to work with him. She is blunt, saying that if he doesn’t convince Shane to put up Frank that he will be the one that goes home. “If you want to stay in the game, you’ve got to grovel.” Cue more Joe screaming.
Joe gets his opportunity as Shane heads in from working out, and he babbles something about saving a person off a cliff. “That person typically becomes one of the most loyal persons you ever met. I’m on the cliff. I’m going home if you don’t save me.” He goes on about how being on this show is his dream, and that he’s “saving my life”. He pledges to work with him outside of his team, especially since Wil is obviously Janelle’s pet. “If you come and help me now, I promise you, brother, I will be there for you…this is life or death for me.” Shane claims that he isn’t completely sold on what Joe has to say, and asks if he’d take out his own team. “100%.”
Filler time after commercials, as it is time for the sushi dinner that Dan won in the previous coach’s competition. In case you forgot, Dan repeats how he picked the coaches to accompany him as a strategy, and including Shane was also a method of kissing ass. At the same time, a scantily clad Wil organizes his own party in the kitchen. If you want more info on these activities, go back to Ash’s EXCELLENT Saturday night wrapup.
Of course, the supposed big news of the party was the spin-the-bottle kiss that Shane was forced to give Danielle. Yep, it took longer to get to the psycho than I thought would happen tonight, but there it is. Both Daniele (duh) and Shane read their diary room scripts about how they wish it had lasted longer, and Shane doesn’t help by sort of inferring there may be a second kiss someday. Yeah, right.
We’re now shown a rare moment of Britney talking game to Ian. At first I wondered why, but once I remember what happened on the feeds when the veto ceremony was held I quickly recalled. This is actually a semi-important bit part for little Ian. She asks him if he’d put up Shane if he won HOH, and he seems to give the needed answer. “I don’t see any forseeable circumstance in which that would happen.” To Britney, that’s code for “yes, I would put him up”. You silly girl. “I was just looking for a ‘no’.”
Britney runs upstairs to tell Shane about this info, and says she’s “freaking out”. Oh wait, they didn’t edit this segment correctly, as Britney says she talked to Ian YESTERDAY. “He was trying to be so finicky”, which makes Shane believe that “Boogie has been in Ian’s ear”, which also means he’s been in Frank’s ear. All deals are now off!!!
They work on exactly what to say to Frank, although Britney says it will be “freaking scary”. We jump right to a conversation between Shane and Frank, who says in the diary room that he just wants to make sure everything is still “hunky dory”. Shane relates the Ian story, and babbles a convoluted voting strategy that will keep Frank happy even if he is put up as a replacement nominee.
The always paranoid Britney doesn’t want to leave Shane alone with Frank, and heads into to break up the party. She also relays the Ian story, and Frank claims that it is because Boogie has not told him what to say. “He’s not very good at this game”, he adds in the diary room. “This freaking kid is going to mess up my game.” Britney says that somebody from Boogie’s team needs to go up, and Frank suggests that person should be Ian.
It’s now time for Shane to make the “biggest decision” he’s had to make so far, and after three weeks he’s become pretty good at reading the script. The only entertaining part of the pre-ceremony diary room tidbits is Boogie’s cockiness, as he doesn’t seem to have any clue as to what is about to happen.
Shane brings everybody into the house, and after two meaningless pleas, decides to…use the veto to save Ashley! The replacement nominee is…Frank! Boogie storms out of the room as we hear Frank say that it wasn’t a total surprise. Shane hopes that Frank isn’t pissed, and will believe that he’s not the target “when he really is”. Britney babbles something about how Boogie is a “disgusting, vicious dragon” and Frank is the “curly head. Cut the head off of this dragon, and the rest of the beast will just fall dead.” Wait what?
Janelle is mighty pleased at herself, and says she just wanted to laugh when Frank was nominated. “Boogie, you thought you were pulling the strings in this house. There’s a new puppet master in this house, and it’s me.” Boogie, of course, is “super annoyed” that he can’t just “sit by the pool with no worries. It’s taking a little shot at me, and as you know, America, that doesn’t usually end up well for the other side.” Oh yeah? You’re a fool.
That's it for tonight, and I must apologize for my anti-Danielle rant at the beginning of this wrap-up. She really wasn't much of a factor tonight, and that is due to the fact that there was actually some strategy and unpredictable moves this week. That's what Big Brother is supposed to be about, after all.
What did you think of tonight's episode? Do you agree with Shane's big move? Are you impressed with Janelle's scheming? Who is going home tomorrow night? Let us know!