Pandora. It’s not just a crappy online music service that plays nothing but the Captain Obvious tracks. Nope, it’s also a Grodner favorite that appears at least once every Big Brother season; quite often involving her favorite pet, Jessie. It’s become such a BB cliché that all this week the current cast was predicting that it was going to happen any day now.
Pandora’s Box would probably not be as criticized by Big Brother purists if it didn’t affect the outcome of the game. Hell, at this point we’d be happy if the ramifications were minor. Instead, what happens due to this silliness completely changes the show. Last year, Rachel was on her way out the door when she was suddenly rescued by one of Grodner’s tricks. She went on to win the season.
Tonight is the night that Pandora enters this season. Who will it help? Who will it hurt? Big Brother fans on twitter seem to be split between those who believe production is assisting Frank and those who think Dan is getting a bit of an edge. With Frank as the new HOH (spoiler alert!) and Dan being his primary target (another spoiler alert!), we may see tonight just who Grodner favors.
Before we get to Pandora, though, we have quite a bit of material to get through, especially since the double eviction show ended without a new HOH. We start off by going back to Boogie’s eviction, and Ian’s comments to him as he walked out the door. Ian says that he “respected and admired him so much that he couldn’t let him walk out there blindsided”. As he hugs Frank, Boogie whispers that Ian can’t be trusted. As he walks out, Ian’s last words to Boogie are “get to steppin’, buddy” (a reference to the All-Stars season).
With Boogie out the door, Frank begins needling Ian about not voting for him…but we jump ahead to Ian winning an HOH that he says he tried to throw. Well, you were up against Danielle in the final round. That doesn’t make it easy. “The Quack Pack needs to go after Frank, but I don’t want to be the one to have to do it”, he explains.
Dan pulls Ian into the lounge to give him a pep talk, and as they walk out Frank orders him back. “You gonna put me up.” Ian asks if he’s going to fuck him over if he doesn’t, but Frank seems to accept the bullshit he feeds him. As if that’s not enough, then Britney and Shane corner him with their demands. For the first time ever, I feel for this dweeb! Ian, though, wants to backdoor Frank instead of a straight up nomination.
He finally gets out of the room, but now it is Ashley who wants to talk to him. Unfortunately, all she can say is “I don’t know what to say”. Ugh. They hug and walk out, and now it is Joe’s turn! Ian does talk a bit tough to Joe, demanding a week from him for not being nominated.
Now we finally get to the noms, and he puts up Frank and Ash. Dan is more than pleased, and leaps in joy in the hallway. Frank, though, isn’t so happy and yells out that he’s a “puppet”. That means the POV is a “life or death situation” for Frank…and, of course, he wins. “Good decision, Ian!” Ian stands by his original idea of backdooring Frank, as Frank continues to storm around the house bitching.
Once again, Frank pulls Ian into the lounge area, and this time they say Joe is their target. “We got the votes, I think.” Frank does indeed use the veto on himself (obviously), and Ian puts up Joe. “Hop a squat, man.” Joe’s not worried, though, even as Frank yells that he deserves to go more than Ashley.
Joe versus Frank continues on, as Frank complains that Joe has done nothing so far in the game. Valid point, but that doesn’t stop Ashley from being evicted…which leads to more screaming from Joe. Ian is depressed about this event, and Frank knows that since he was the only vote for Ash that means everybody is against him.
Frank is still screaming at Ian, even as Britney attempts to butt in. “Please don’t make him cry.” Ugh, this is getting old. Blah blah blah blah blah! Thankfully, it is commercial time.
When we return, Ian is feeling sorry for himself. “I’m a shitty person, dude.” Dan attempts to cheer him up, and says that he will set him up with his sister. Ian, though, thinks he’s “going to burn in hell”.
Meanwhile, Frank grabs Shane and Danielle for a chat. Shane claims that he believed Ian was going to nominate him, but Frank says in the diary room that he needs to make some new friends. Ian and Britney then walk in, but Frank sends Ian out. He then apologizes to everybody “except for Dan”. He is to blame for everything, you know. He says that he wants to put up Dan and Joe if he wins HOH, but if they’re not with him he’ll have to put Shane and Britney up “because you’re the two strongest players”.
For some reason, Danielle begins bawling even though none of this was directed at her. She wants to talk to Frank alone, so Britney and Shane leave. She says she has nothing against Frank, but she can’t do anything against Dan. At the same time, Britney and Shane talk about possibly working with Frank, but she doesn’t want anything to do with that but may have “no choice”.
Britney then goes into the storage room with Frank to announce they are now down with him. She does want Frank out, but she knows she may have to “adjust her game with the ebb and flow of this house on a daily basis”. Frank just hopes that he will not once again be stabbed in the back.
It is now HOH comp time, and it is the Labyrinth ball game. There’s more than just the HOH up for grabs, though, as the winner also gets to pick the one Have-Not for the week. To play the game, they have to pull on two strings to move the ball around the labyrinth into the hole with the highest score.
Danielle goes first, and scores an 8. Frank gets a 5, while Shane gets a 17, Jenn a 6, Joe a 10, Britney a 7, and Dan narrowly misses a 20 but ends up with a one. They are now ranked, and go one-on-one against each other from the bottom to top seeds.
This first round is Dan versus Frank, and it is a race to get the ball around holes to the top. Dan’s ball drops out of the labyrinth, so he races to grab it to start over. Frank, though, is too far ahead and he wins.
Frank basically has to play the entire house, however, and he now goes against Jenn. This is an easy win, and he then faces off against Britney. Once again, he easily wins, and Frank says he’s gaining confidence. The next round is against Danielle…and you know how that turns out. Joe is the next victim, leaving it all up to Shane to save the day for the Quack Pack. After commercials, Frank gets the HOH by easily defeating Shane…and Dan is in trouble.
Dan’s bad week begins by Frank selecting him for the week’s Have-Not, his first in Big Brother history. Ian, however, realizes that he may have to do some sucking up since two people are actually nominated. Britney beats Ian to the kissup session, though, and Frank comes right out and says that he is putting up Dan and Danielle. Britney couldn’t be happier, and she says that she will vote to keep Danielle. They even make a final four deal.
It is Pandora time, and you can tell that even Frank knows that by the dumb grin on his face as he enters the HOH. Guess what? He does open the box…as does everybody in Big Brother history. Inside the room, is a bunch of dollar signs, and he has to open three cubes to win up to ten grand. His first choice is only for $1.05, and his second one is $7.11. The third one, though, is a big winner - $3,333.33!
Meanwhile, at the same time the doors open for the rest of the house. A card is read that states there is a second veto in the house, but they need fifty cents. They start searching around the backyard until suddenly balls start falling from the sky. Dan grabs a few balls, and attempts to snag the veto. He fails, but lies that he did indeed win it. Wait, I thought Saint Dan didn’t lie!
Ian wants the veto just as bad as Dan, but his first attempt is also a failure. Britney hears some coins around Joe’s foot, and the two of them fight over the ball with the coins. Britney wins this little battle, and she actually has the veto for a second before it drops. Dan, meanwhile, is getting a bit aggressive in this competition, pushing people out of the way and slamming doors. Ian comes back in, but decides to wait for another person to place the ball in a better spot. Finally, Ian does indeed win the veto!!!
Frank is finally let out of the HOH, and takes a look at the backyard. Frank claims he really doesn’t know what to do now that Ian has won this veto. They go off for a little chat, and, as expected, Britney closely follows. He wants to ensure that Ian will not use his veto on Dan. “Do what you want to do” is all Ian says to him. “Can we just chill for now?” Britney thinks he should be put up so that he HAS to use it on himself, but she also says that if he threatens to put up Britney in his place Ian probably wouldn’t use it to save Dan. In the diary room, Britney claims she’s saying this to ensure that the entire Quack Pack could survive the week. Hmmm, I don’t know about that.
Ian comes back into the room, and they tell him this new little threat. In the DR, though, Ian says that he is just going to do “what is best for me”. Frank is confused, but Ian says that he “just gets scared” whenever he has to make a move. True dat.
So we are already at nomination time, and the first key pulled is Jenn, followed by Ian, Joe, Britney, and Shane. Yes, Dan and Danielle are this week’s nominees. Frank dedicates the noms to Mike and Ash, and says that he can’t pass up his third chance at getting him, while Danielle is “just a victim of circumstance”.
The show ends with the usual tears, threats, and promises from all involved. What did you think of tonight’s show? Is this really the end of Saint Dan? Tell us what you think!