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« The Night Owl | Main | Going.. going..... and DR leak. »
Thursday
Aug092012

Big Brother #14, Episode 13 Recap

Willie May stumbling in the outfield during the 1973 World Series. Brett Favre hobbling off the Metrodome turf after his millionth interception. The surviving Beatles adding computer-enhanced vocals to John Lennon demos. Johnny Unitas being sandwiched by defensive linemen on play after play in a San Diego Chargers uniform. The entire roster of actors that co-star on TV Land “original” shows.

These are just some of the embarrassing codas to otherwise legendary careers, and tonight we say goodbye to another type of superstar. Sure, calling a reality television star a “legend” is kind of silly, but Janelle Pierzina is one of a handful who could make that claim. A blonde, athletic beauty, Janelle’s two earlier appearances were full of must-see TV moments. Ultimately, she lost both times, but her competition prowess and sexy swagger made her the only Big Brother cast member to win two “Favorite House Guest” awards.

She will be leaving us tonight primarily for having lost that touch that endeared her to both viewers and fellow players in her previous season. Her fibs betrayed any appearance of honesty. Emotionally, she was a stiff who spent more time sleeping than she did interacting with others. Most importantly, she failed to sniff the changing crosswinds in the house, and was ultimately outplayed by her most hated rival, Mike “Boogie” Malin. Like everybody listed in that above paragraph, the instincts and reflexes were just not there this season.

Before we get to that moment where thousands of hardcore fans smash their televisions and leap off their balcony, we have lots of silliness to plow through. Yes, it is reaction time. How did Janelle and the rest of the house feel about the shocking move to replace Wil’s nomination with Janelle?

Like always, it depends on who is doing the talking. Janelle is shocked, especially since “she is not even on my radar, and now she definitely is”. She’s going to do what she needs to do to say. Britney notes that unlike usual veto meetings, everybody is kind of frozen in “shock and horror…but the truth of the matter is, nobody is truly shocked except for Janelle”.

Wil screams in celebration while in the diary room, and promises to bake a cherry pie in celebration. Britney, though, rushes into the bedroom where Janelle is reading the Bible (lol) to pretend like she has no clue this was going to happen. At the same time, Boogie asks the camera if he can take a bow. “Danielle thinks she’s the head of household this week, but basically I just took over her HOH and got everybody to do what I wanted.”

Danielle is now in the HOH, and Janelle rushes in to ask why she was put up. Danielle claims that “everybody” has been telling her that Janelle is after her, and is lying to her. “I’ve never said to anybody in this house that I’m coming after her.” Janelle knows that people have been feeding lies to her, as “she could never come up with this on her own”. She immediately blames Dan, but Danielle claims she hasn’t talked to him all day, and that she’ll probably survive the week anyway.

Dan now joins Danielle in the HOH, and yells in the diary room that she has graduated from the Dan School of Big Brother. Oh please. She recounts the conversation with Janelle. Well, she sort of tells him, exaggerating just a little bit.

Dan now pulls Janelle into the storage room, and claims that he has no idea what caused her nomination. It’s just a girl thing, he says, and he probably won’t be able to vote to save her because it would piss her off. Janelle thinks that she only needs two more votes, and Dan says any coach is screwed if they’re put up.

Boogie interrupts the conversation by coming in for some milk, and takes his time before leaving. Janelle repeats her complaint that she didn’t even put on makeup because she had no clue this was coming in, and after leaving the storage room she says she’s confident she can get the votes.

She heads into the lounge with Wil and Joe, who both claim that they’ll be voting for her. She also tells Jenn that she wouldn’t target her if she stays, and also whines to Ashley that she hopes she wouldn’t vote her out.

Now that she believes she has the votes, she pulls Britney into the lounge to verify that she has her vote. She runs down all the votes she has, and Britney replies that she believes there may be some things happening that she’s not aware of. Janelle adds that the coaches “need to stick together, or we’ll have no shot”. Britney says in the diary room that not only is Janelle making her feel bad, but she’s “making some really good sense. She’s not coming after me. She’s not coming after the coaches. Why am I voting out someone who is an ally and an asset to me in this game?”

Britney races to the HOH, and cries that she can’t “keep up this charade any longer. I feel like a bad, bad person.” Dan, Shane, and Danielle don’t seem to really care for what she has to say, even when she asks why they’re voting her out. “When she doesn’t need you, she avoids you and treats you like crap”, replies Danielle in between bites of Cheez-its.

After commercials, it is time for the dreaded house interview. As predicted on last week’s Big Brother Gossip Show, the first question goes to Frank’s “spiritard”. He’s even made to give a cheer. Gag me now. Boogie is then asked about how he wasn’t happy with the game reset, but he says he’s feeling better about it now. “I did a little work this week, and I think I’m feeling better about it.”

Wait, a question to Jenn??? Wow, shocker! She’s asked about competing with the coaches, and she says she’s “just living on a prayer”. She also claims that she believes her chances are better now that she’s on her own. Oh, I’m sure that will be discussed later tonight.

Ugh, and as also predicted on the Big Brother Gossip Show, we have to sit through a montage of Ian as a dog. He says he’s been loving every minute of his time in the house, and “it wouldn’t be the full Big Brother experience without a penalty costume”.

OMG, more filler – the fake romance between Ian and Ashley…complete with their parents. Gross, and CBS should be ashamed for this selective editing. Wait, his mom thinks the house is “scared” of him??? Bwahahahahah!

As they say on BBUK, it’s “crunch time”. Frank gets to make the first plea, and he claims that he’s played the game “like a gentleman”. Mama told him to “keep it classy”, and he says he’s done just that. Ooof, even Julie says that he sounds like Ron Burgendy.

Janelle is up next, and she says she loves “all of you”, and would be willing to help anybody with their game if they keep her. Otherwise, no hard feelings if she does leave tonght.

The live voting then commences with Boogie, who obviously votes to evict Janelle, as does Jenn. Joe, though, votes to evict Frank, but Wil, Ashley, Britney, Shane, kiss-ass Dan, and Ian all vote to evict Janelle. She’s out by a 8-1 vote!

Julie makes her announcement, and Janelle calmly hugs all (saying “it’s just a game”) before heading out the door to a huge cheer! Mickey Mantle has left the building! Julie notes that she kept it classy, and Julie notes that she isn’t nearly as surprises as she was when nominated. She says she’s out because she’s a strong player, which is a compliment. While she is being cool and calm, what is with the little girl voice that she’s using? Julie also asks why she hit the reset when she still had three players in the game, and it’s just because she wanted to play.

Frank is the next topic, and she says that she was “scared of him” because he was such a strong player. It may have hurt her a little in the game, but he was also the focus of others. Janelle is then asked about the fateful coach’s meeting n the HOH, and she says she “didn’t want to throw Wil or Joe under the bus”. This leads into her rivalry with Boogie, but while he got her this time the “target is too big on him to win the game this time. I’m rooting for Dan. I love Dan.”

The goodbye messages then roll, and Dan explains how her unwilling to sacrifice her teammates is what cost her. Britney whines about how she feels bad about being a part of the plan, and Joe does his customary nonsensical screaming. He promises to avenge her eviction. Boogie brags that she shouldn’t blame the others – “this one was all me. So for the third time, always the bridesmaid but never the Big Brother bride.” Janelle’s response? “He’s such a loser. What a douchebag. Screw you, Mike Boogie.”

Ok, it’s now HOH competition time, and it’s a “knockout” type question game called “Big Brother Battle of the Bands”. Hmmm, this would be a perfect title for a game that Jenn wins. A song is played, and then the players choose whether the song describes a HOH, Coach, or Veto competition. A right answer means you remain for the next round; the wrong answer means the other player remains.

The game starts with Wil versus Jenn, and they’re both confused before Wil correctly answers that it was a HOH song. He chooses Boogie versus Joe in the next round, and Boogie correctly chooses a veto song. He then picks Wil versus Ashley, who almost flashes us. Ashley is first this time, and she is right on with her HOH guess.

Ashley is completely confused about what she has to do next, and finally picks Britney and Shane for the next round. Britney is the first to ring in, and she is also right on with her coach choice. Ash and Ian are now up, and Ian correctly picks Coach. He then picks Dan and Britney, and this time Britney is right with HOH. Frank and Boogie then face each other, and Boogie immediately hits veto before the song even starts. He’s obviously wrong, and Ian and Britney now have to face each other.

They both leap at the button at the same time, but Britney is just a split second early with the correct veto pick. It’s now Frank versus Britney for the HOH victory, and Frank picks veto. Yes, he is right…and Frank is the new HOH!!!

There is one final segment in the show, with Julie talking to Frank. It’s a pretty worthless couple of minutes, and that’s it for this episode. What did you think of tonight’s show? Are you sad to see Janelle hit the road? Give us your thoughts!

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