Welcome to Danielle's world. It's a tough life, filled with imaginary diseases, nonexistent boyfriends, and so many annoying people. You think it's easy to keep an inch of makeup on at all times? You just don't know the pressure this poor girl is under every single day in the Big Brother house. After all, everything that happens is either blamed on her or is a threat to her future.
Dan may be the official "star" of the season, and Ian this show's mascot, but the heart and soul is this delusional twit. Just like this past Sunday's episode, she is on full display tonight. Because I can barely deal with hearing her voice, though, (and also because I know the details of last night's taping) tonight's recap is bound to be a bit shorter than usual.
It may be tough to condense everything, though, as there is a ton of action tonight. There's a veto comp, Shane's prize trip, veto meeting, an eviction, and a HOH comp. That doesn't leave much time for any plotting or even meaningless chatter.
So let's get going with something a bit different than usual. Instead of the typical reactions to Sunday's nominations, we kick off tonight's show with Julie surprising the house by saying tonight is a special eviction. She calls everybody into the living room, and Shane is delayed because he is sans pants. She tells them the news, and instructs them all to get ready for the eviction and HOH competition.
Now we go to the taped footage from earlier this week, starting with the reactions to Ian's nominations of Jenn and Shane. Jenn is shocked that Dan isn't on the block, since just a couple of days before he nominated Ian. "What's this guy gotta do to get on the block? He's pulling out magic tricks on the reg!" Shane knows he's a pawn, and he's got the Quack Packers on his side. Danielle, though, is so "extremely afraid" of what is going to happen this week.
Dan is as cocky as ever, of course. We see him mouth "are you kidding me" into the camera, and then in the diary room screams how he now gets "a second shot at (Shane)".
As he walks out of the bedroom, he attempts to chat with Jenn, who says she is not going to listen to anything he has to say. "Congratulations." She says she knows she will probably go off on him, and "it's just not worth it at this point". He "mists" her into the bedroom anyway, though, and asks why she is mad at him. He tries to claim that this situation is actually good for her, and adds in the diary room that it will make Shane feel more secure. Um, sure. He keeps at her, though, saying that "until the end you have a dangerous player on your side". They hug it out, but Jenn is not buying it.
Jenn is now sitting with Danielle, asking if Shane is upset about being nominated. Once again, instead of talking about what Jenn wants to hear about it is all about how Shane is not treating her like a princess. Jenn sees some hope, though, because she has a better chance at staying if Danielle thinks Shane is playing her. "Don't worry. I'm about to play the player", says Danielle. Surrrre.
We awkwardly jump right to the veto competition. They must swing from one platform to another to start a timer. Then they have 20 seconds at a time to work on a puzzle. If they don't make it back in time, the pieces will drop, and they have ten seconds to start the clock again to start over. Oh, and the winner also gets a special prize.
After we hear everybody talk about how they HAVE to win, the game finally begins. In case you didn't hear the instructions the first time, we get the treat of Dan's loud yelling to repeat them. Oh, and Danielle is not happy with the "flying" part of the game.
Ian has trouble with this game, which CBS edits to help him win the favorite player award next week. Shane, though, is kicking ass, so Daneille begins copying him. Jenn is also close. Ian is out of the game, and starts helping Shane. This does not please Jenn, obviously...but Dan is also not happy about this.
Finally, Shane completes the puzzle...and wins the veto! Jenn is bummed, as is Dan because he may now be put up.
Now for the worst footage...or most humorous...of the night. Shane calls everybody into the living room to announce his special prize. He reads a card that says they're about to meet some of the biggest stars of the summer. He gets to take a date...and the romantic fanfare kicks off as he selects Danielle.
Oh boy. In a puke green dress ans panties, Danielle gets into the limo with Shane. They hold hands for the camera as they hit the highway, and she does not stop babbling. It is, after all, their first "official date". Oh please.
They head into an arena, and it a gymnastic meet sponsored by Kelloggs. Danielle claims to be super excited, as she supposedly used to do gymnastics, and the Olympic girls team then walks into the room. Of course, they're all holding boxes of Kellogg's. This is easily the most awkward conversation ever, especially when they're asked if they are boyfriend and girlfriend. Gross. OMG, this continues on and on as Danielle continues to talk about whether they're a relationship or not on the drive home...and they kiss for the cameras. So much for Jenn's dream of a rift between these two bozos. Her time is clearly coming to an end.
Finally, they are back home...conveniently with boxes of Kellogg's. It really is the never-ending segment.
Back to game stuff. Danielle is wandering around, and Dan comes in to hug her and say that he misses her. He really doesn't, but wants to get some info out of her about what they talked about on their trip.
It is now veto meeting time...and yes, the pink shirt boy takes himself down. Ian then gets up...and definitely does not go against his fellow Renegade! Yes, poor Danielle is now on the block! Oh, she is not happy about this! But Dan is, and he promises to do anything or "stab anyone" to ensure his victory.
So it is now that time to send Jenn packing, but we have to go through the charade of them pleading their case. Jenn tells everybody she loves them, and she basically admits her time is up. Danielle then gets up and it is basically the same thing...although Danielle AGAIN flashes the audience.
We still must go through with the official proceedings before giving Jenn the boot, though, and both Shane and Dan vote to evict Jenn. She hugs everybody, and tells them to "keep it fun and keep it classy...and don't forget to burn this place down".
Julie starts the question off by asking why Jenn was evicted, and she comes right out and said it was because she lost the veto. Saving Dan is now brought up, and Jenn says that she has "no regrets" and wanted to do something big. Her plan was if she couldn't beat him, then she should join him. Julie then pulls out her big prop of the night, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, since Jenn has been on slop. Jenn digs right in as Julie already wraps up the segment.
Now that we have a Quack Pack final four, it is time to set up the dissolution of their inbred, nonsensical alliance. Yes, it is time for the HOH competition, and earlier in the day they were shown pictures from throughout the season. It's called "photographic memory". Julie will read questions based on these photos, and they must step forward if they believe the question is true, and back if it is false. Yes, we see this every year.
The first photo is about the placement of the veto in the "Loose Change" competition, and all three of them correctly pick false. Question two is about Britney from the jugglar competition, and again all three are correct.
For the third question, Julie asks about Boogie in the "Feel the Burn" comp, and this time Danielle and Shane both correctly pick true. The fourth question is the "Field of Veto" comp picture, and whether all the letters in "dugout" were visible. This time, Danielle is the only one with an incorrect "true" answer, and Shane is now in the lead.
Question five is from the "Phat Stacks" competition, and whether Wil was wearing sunglasses. This time, Dan and Danielle are both correct, and we now have a three way tie. The sixth question concerns the "Memory Chip" competition, and it is about the order of chips. Danielle is the only one correct on this one, and she now ties Dan.
For the final question, we go back to the "Big Brother Candy World", and Jenn's answer. They all choose false, and there is now a tie between Dan and Danielle. There is now a number question to break the tie, which is the number of seconds in the "Time Flies" veto competition. Dan writes 626, while Danielle's guess is 155. The answer is 584, which means Danielle has won because Dan's guess was over the actual answer! That's our little pumpkin faced twit!
So there we have it. Danielle is the new HOH, but we all know it all has to do with the veto winner. We'll see that tomorrow night, along with the first evicted Quack Packer. Who will it be? Who do you want it to be? What other comments do you have about tonight's show? Let us know! Please! I mean it! Preferably if you're in a tiny black bikini soaking in a hot tub!