It's double eviction night! Will it be double the fun? Who will be going home? We know it's the end of the line for Big Dummy Frank, but who will be the second evictee?
Unfortunately, the odds are that it will be either Jenn or Joe, as Smelly Pants Dan has the rest of the house snowed over. It is because of that fact that I predicted that Eagle Eye Pee Hands Joe would pull an upset. I doubt very much that this will happen, but he is our only hope this week. He has seen through Dan's shenanigans, although he has kept quiet over the past week. There's also the reality that while he has a big, big mouth, he seems to lack the balls to actually follow through with a big move. I could see him giving us hope for a few seconds, and then weaseling out to get Jenn out. Please, please, please, Joe. Win this and make us proud...at least for a few minutes.
Since this will be a long recap, let's just go right to the reactions to Dan using the veto to save Jenn instead of Big Dummy Frank. Please, do we have to start off with Joe yelling at the camera one more time? At least Joe knows that he is supposed to be a pawn this week. Jenn then compares being taken off the bloc to "getting that dream apartment in New York City". Really? She is concerned that her big ally, Frank, is still on the block.
Speaking of the Big Dummy, he still thinks that he has Dan and Danielle's votes to stay in the house (along with Jenn, of course). Dan then gloats about how it has been a great week for him - he added a new ally (Jenn), and Frank is still clueless that he's the next victim.
Now the segment moves along just like last night's. Big Dummy is making sure that Dan is still with him on the plan to get Joe out. "We're golden now, right?" Dan makes a little bit of a mistake, though, as they talk about next week's competition. "What if Joe pulls out a miracle win?" Uh oh. Dan quickly recovers, though, because Frank is a BIG DUMMY!
The segment doesn't end there, though, as Frank continues to pepper Dan about whether they're going to the end together. "You've got to realize that I've been burned so many times in this game this season. Every time I find someone to trust they put me on the block the next week."
Now it is Joe's turn to sound like a fool, as he heads over to the Ian to make sure that Frank is still the target. "Should I throw out a major campaign to Jen." Ian just says that he's "golden", mainly because he wants Joe to lay low and now screw things up with his big mouth. Joe calls Frank "Houdini", but Ian reminds him that Houdini died young. Joe, though, does a good job in pumping up Ian's ego by talking about how he is putting out the game's toughest competitor.
More Grodner footage is up next, as we get to endure Dan explaining his entire game as he stares at the memory wall. Yes, we get it. Dan's a perfect man who is always one step ahead of the pack. Well, this pack isn't too hard to be a mile ahead.
Dan decides that he needs to know where Joe's head is at right now, and he heads into the bedroom to see who he would put up. He throws out Shane and Danielle, but says in the diary room that he was just tossing out names.
A half hour later, Dan returns to the bedroom, but Joe thinks it was Shane. "Dan chased me in here", he says.
"This is Dan."
"What's up?" Ugh, what a bonehead. Shane then walks in, and Dan tells him the story. Now Dan claims to be considering to keep Big Dummy Frank. Yeah, right.
With that short segment complete, we head to a live shot for Julie to announce that it is once again a double eviction. Danielle's mouth drops open, but that's how she usually looks anyway.
The final pleas start with Big Dummy, who reminds them all that he can't compete in the next HOH. He's also "very vulnerable", so anybody who helps him can get help.
Joe then stands up, and again attempts a comedy act. "I know I'm the biggest single threat...in the kitchen". He thanks everybody for his time in the house, and "you have ot vote with your heart".
Live voting then begins with Dan, who votes to evict Frank, as does Danielle. Jenn, however, votes to evict Joe, but Shane makes it official by voting to evict Frank. He is out by a 3-1 vote!
Julie then reads the results, and he is surprisingly calm. Dan tells him he is a "great competitor", and he quickly hugs Jenn before heading out the door. Hmmm, where's the fireworks???
Julie tells Frank that he looks shellshocked, and he admits this to be the case. Frank is bummed that Dan put his hand on the Bible, and he should have never trusted him. This is an idiotic interview, as it is nothing but not having anybody to trust.
Let's move on to the goodbye messages, which starts with silly Joe complaining about the size of his ego. "Your biggest mistake in the game was not getting rid of Dan." Well, duh. Shane adds little to the chat, and Ian says that he had to make this decision for the good of his game. Dan then yells that he respects him, and that is why he voted him out. What a kissass. Julie asks if there are hard feelings, and Frank says "absolutely". For some reason, Julie continues the interview and Frank continues to whine. Enough!
Time for a quick HOH competition. As expected, it is a question game called "Make Your Case". Julie reads a quote from a nominee's final plea, and they have to identify that person. The person with the most points after seven questions wins.
The first quote is about being underestimated, and only Jenn gets this right (Ashley). The second question is about the term "brass tacks", and Jenn, Dan, and Danielle all guess Boogie. The third round is about bullies, and Jenn this time is the ONLY one wrong.
Question four is about believing they were going to play a dirty game, and Jenn, Dan, and Danielle all guess Jojo. Question five is about who played an honest game, and those three again guess correctly.
Question six is about helping others win the game, and again it is between those three. The final question is about fairness, and nobody gets it correct. It is a three-way tie between Jenn, Dan, and Danielle. The tie-breaker is a guess on the number of minutes that Jodi was in the house. Danielle guesses 230, Dan has 363, and Jenn as 160. The correct answer is 481 minutes, which means that Dan wins! Gross!
After commercials, everybody gathers in the living room. Joe stupidly sits in one of the nomination chairs, and won't move. Dan says he has to make tough decisions, and nominates Joe...and IAN!!! WTF??? Even Joe is shocked!
When we return from yet another break, it is time for the veto comp...and everybody is playing. The comp is called "Swimming With Sharks", and they have to work a shark through a maze. The first to finish it, and return to hit their buzzer wins. Danielle jumps in the lead, but they quickly all even up (except for Shane). In fact, Joe is even in the lead for a second, but stalls at the halfway mark. Ian then sneaks ahead, and looks to be taking it until the maze pulls him back a bit. He's still way ahead of the others, and indeed he does win!
And yet another commercial break before Ian saves himself from the block. Before we get to that, though, Dan is gathering various people for strategy, and first the door slams on Ian...and then he leaves when Dan wants to talk to him. Just get to the ceremony, please!
Finally, Julie calls everybody to the room...but Dan attempts to talk to Jenn one more time. With everybody finally in place, Ian does indeed save himself...and is replaced by Danielle! Wait, What??? Danielle???? OMG, this is the greatest moment ever!!!! The audience may have groaned, but I haven't been this happy in weeks! Get Danielle out! Get Danielle out! (Oh wait, she is my choice as this year's winner.)
CBS is raking in cash this week, as we have to sit through yet more commercials before the voting. After flashing her panties, Danielle stands up and says to please keep her. Joe then says that he has "strong ass loyalty" and he loves them all.
Voting starts with Shane, who obviously votes to evict Joe, as does Jenn and Ian. Joe is out by a 3-0 vote! Once again, my hopes and dreams for this season are dashed. Joe hugs everybody, and walks out with a smile on his face. "It's just a game."
Oh great, he comes out screaming to the audience. Thankfully, I won't have to endure that voice much for the rest of this season. There seems to be some drama in the house though, before we get to the interview. Danielle is clearly not happy with being nominated.
Julie's interview starts with pointing out that he survived on nomination earlier tonight, so what went wrong this time? Joe says that he needed one big victory, but he didn't pull though. "Ian absolutely deserves this." When asked why Danielle wasn't evicted, Joe's reply is "showmance! I can't go there. I'll rub his back but that's all he's getting." Julie points out that Joe never made any big moves in the game, nor won any competitions. Was that his strategy? Let me answer this...no. Even Joe knows this idea is ridiculous. "I tried with every ounce of my body to win one of these things." His only skill set was to win them over with cooking. Julie concludes by asking about his dumb pubic hair on his chin, and he calls it "Chinny Claus". Ugh.
Before the show ends, Julie confirms that next Wednesday will indeed be another eviction; the day before the show is shrunk down to three.
What did you think of tonight's show? Did the right people get evicted? Are you excited for the inevitable drama that Danielle will cause by being nominated? Tell us what you think!