Jessie Kowalski, 25
Hometown: Beaumont, Texas
Current City: San Antonio, Texas
What the hell is going on here? This is like the fifth Texan I’ve previewed, and I’m barely halfway through the entire cast! Did that staffer I earlier described really get that much poontang while he was in that state?
Once again, way too much time is wasted on the showmance angle. At least Jessie doesn’t like “assholes”, so I hope that means she doesn’t hook up with that idiot Jeremy. She also believes she has a nice ass, but too bad this lame interviewer doesn’t make her get up and prove it.
I’m falling in love here. She’s not the brightest bulb, but she’s cute and charming and has a pretty smile. Maybe she’s not fit for my meth-tub, nor does she appear to be a whip and chains girl, but I think I can a place for her. She just looks fun.
Again, the definition of superfan is misplaced, though. She never watched the feeds, and only goes back a few seasons. Brittney and Danielle are two of her favorite past players, which I have no problems with. She also admits that Rachel was annoying, but claims she could have been friends with her.
It’s quite possible that Jessie will be the cute girl that goes out second, but if she surpasses that she will hopefully team up with some of the other bikini girls to make it a few more weeks. I doubt this will happen, though. If she’s not out the second week, she will be out before sequester. And that’s a shame.