A word of warning before we begin. There’s a great chance that this recap is going to be a bit angrier than usual. There will probably even be a cuss word or two. It may even be cut off before the show is over.
Why, you ask? Because tonight looks to be a nightmare come true for me. One person is going to dominate the proceedings. A person who shouldn’t be in the house, in my opinion. A person whose voice is harder to understand than J-U-Double-D.
I’m sure you know exactly who I’m talking about, and there’s no way that the majority of TV time isn’t devoted to her. At the very least, there will be segments about how the house doesn’t like her, her (not very) shocking MVP win, her participation in the veto competition, and the final veto meeting. That’s not even including the inevitable cameo by her supposedly “legendary” family member.
So here we go, starting off with another endless recap of what we’ve seen already this year. Once finished, the show predictably provides diary room comments concerning the nominations of Candice and Jessie. You know the drill. The nominees are pissed, the HOH is happy, and most of the rest of the house is relieved it’s not them. Ok, it is funny when Candice says she’s not going to cry, and is then shown crying in the diary room.
Elissa is talking to Amanda, and is happy with the nominations as she thought she’d be the first person evicted. Standing just a foot or two away is Candice, who gives her the stink eye. In the diary room she says that she thought she’d be put up because she was Rachel’s sister. “i’m back in this game, and I’m going to win this season of Big Brother.”
In the storage room, Nick and Jeremy celebrate the success of The Moving Company. Nick really doesn’t care who is going home as long as it is not one of them.
Jessie is now in the HOH, and she is freaking out. McCrae tells her to cool out, and assures Jessie that she’s just a pawn. McCrae admits in the diary room that he doesn’t really care if she goes home or not. Candice joins the gathering, and immediately starts laying in to McCrae. “I guess I should have been your fucking shadow or something.” Jessie leaves, and McCrae says he “doesn’t do well with conflict”. He reminds her that there is a third nominee, but Candice is still pissed. She says that it is perceived that he is in an alliance with the other boys, but McCrae denies it. Of course, this means that Candice is definitely going to win veto. “Game on for everybody.” Where is this Candice on the feeds?
We move on to MVP talk. Jeremy is wondering who it may be, and Jessie actually has a coherent thought. She believes it will be Elissa, thanks to her sister. Jeremy doesn’t like this favoritism. Just in case you forgot about the Rachel/Elissa connection, we get yet ANOTHER montage of every house guest predicting that Elissa will win thanks to Rachel.
This comes to a head when a number of people are in the HOH with Elissa, and Jeremy and Amanda are talking about this very fact. Elissa is coy, though. “I think my sister’s fans are going to vote for me, because she has awesome fans.” She then says her sister is a supermodel, and claims to be related to Giselle Buncheon. Jeremy is confused, as he has no idea who Giselle is.
Now we get the MVP segment. A barefooted lass heads into the diary room, and sure enough it is Elissa. She opens an envelope that announces her victory, and is shocked. SHOCKED! “This is crazy!” She goes into full Rachel mode to thank America for her victory.
Elissa then heads into the HOH with McCrae, and she tells him that she has indeed won. “I am so flattered, and so excited.” She says in the diary room that she wants him to help her pick that third nominee, and McCrae couldn’t be happier. He immediately points to David, because he is such an awesome competitor!
Elissa isn’t so sure, though. She thinks Nick is a “bigger threat”. She then asks for a promise not to put her up, and McCrae says that he HAS to if somebody is to be replaced. This does not make Elissa happy. “Why would you do that? This changes everything.” He tries to reassure her that she would be safe, but Elissa’s frozen mouth almost moves into a frowning position.
After commercials, it is time for filler. At least it’s not Elissa filler. Well, it’s almost worse, as we have to endure the Aaryn/David relationship. David informs her that he lives with his mother, and only works during the summer. Aaryn can’t believe it, but he thinks that she thinks it’s cool. No, she doesn’t.
With that, we move on to the unveiling of the MVP nomination. Elissa has “secretly” chosen...drum roll please...David. Aaryn is pissed! Even more pissed than David, who thinks he is the “most likable guy in the house”. Elissa explains that she did it to possibly get McCrae to not put her up as a replacement nominee.
It’s now time to choose the veto players. In a change from last year, David has to pick both of the other players. He pulls out Howard and Elissa’s names. Candice says she has to “bring her Candy Land A-Game if I want to win this veto”.
WIth the meeting adjourned, David and Aaryn head into the bedroom for some dry humping. That’s the way to cheer up a surfer. David, though, is still confused and betrayed. “I feel like the whole house is against me.” He thinks the entire house wants him gone, but everybody else that comes into the bedroom are just as confused.
Poor Aaryn is upset, though, that David would actually think any negative thoughts about her. “I’m all about helping him out. I care about him way more than the game.” She hides away in the photo booth area to cry until David comes along to apologize.
Oh, the little Aryan youth is pissed, and lays into him for making him cry in front of everybody. “It feels like betrayal.” David says that he’s “mind-boggled” that she’s pissed at him when it’s him that is on the block. “I didn’t realize it was that dramatic of a situation.” He asks her if they’re good, and she continues to bitch at him.
Elissa enters the bedroom where Jeremy and Jessie are sitting, and asks them who they believe won MVP. “You didn’t get it with all of your fans?” Jeremy complains that she had said that she’d win with all of her sister’s fans. “I never said that”, replies Elissa. In case you forgot, the clip from ten minutes earlier was played. Jeremy is pissed.
McCrae and Amanda are now in the HOH, and Amanda says that he can’t win the veto or he’ll look like “too much of a threat”. McCrae says he hopes he can trust her, and this pisses her off. He decides that the way to get her to trust him is to share a “juicy secret” with her, and informs Amanda that Elissa won MVP. She is not to share it with anybody. Amanda wants her to “come clean soon, or she’ll have a bigger target on her”.
Elissa then head into the HOH, and McCrae tells her that he just old Amanda the big secret. “You’re screwing me over! You hate me! I thought we were working together!” Downstairs, Amanda is recruiting people to “save” McCrae.
Jeremy wants to clear up the sister comments, and she claims she never said them. Elissa explains who Giselle is to Jeremy, who says that if he won MVP he’d tell her. For some reason, though, Elissa believes this is abusive behavior. Now Jeremy is a dope who in the house has shown some questionable traits, but he’s actually cool and calm here while Elissa goes into full Rachel mode.
It’s now veto competition time, and GinaMarie screeches something about some person from the American Baking Competition show hosting the event. I have no idea who this person is, or what show she’s is talking about. They head outside, and Howard is pleased he is going to see “honeys in honey”.
The competition is called the Big Brother Baking Competition. They have to crawl through the honey to the batter, where giant “blueberries” contain letters. Then those letters are to be used to spell a word. The longest word correctly spelled wins.
After the usual “I need to win” comments, the competition begins. I won’t bore you with the usual wacky comments from the competitors, and will just jump to the results. Howard correctly spelled “sailing”, but he doesn’t want to win. Jessie spelled “tumbled”, to tie Howard (who still is in the lead). Candice completely failed, spelling “rafts”. Amanda is not impressed. “Has nobody taken a third grade English class?”
David is even worse. He doesn’t have a word, which makes Andy laugh. Elissa then unveils her word, or should I say words, as she claims “potroasts” is a word. It’s obviously not. She’s “devastated”. It’s all up to McCrae, and he wins by default by spelling “delivery”. Even without trying, he has won veto. “This is like a huge pizza delivery with no tip.”
It’s time for some filler again, as Elissa and Helen talk about how hard it is to be on the show. At least Helen actually makes an appearance on tonight’s show. Helen says it’s “important for me to keep her spirits up”.
Back outside, Elissa ask to talk to McCrae, as she feels she has been betrayed by him. She attempts to talk him out of putting her up. It’s just not fair, as Jessie and Candice didn’t have a target on them like she has. Wait, have I heard this before? He says that he has to put her up, but that doesn’t mean she’s going home. McCrae admits to feeling guilty, but fourteen allies are better than one. “I can’t go against the wishes of the house.”
McCrae is now in the HOH, and Nick comes in to talk to him. He thinks the Moving Company shouldn’t use the veto at all to ensure “Blondie” goes home. Nick thinks that Elissa can be useful to them, and that David needs to go home. “He’s a mega threat.” McCrae, though, thinks he’ll be “target number one” if he doesn’t put her up, and says he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.
It’s now that time. Everybody fulfills their camera obligations. McCrae stares at the wall of keys, while the nominees and other cast members talk about how they don’t want to be on the block. McCrae finally calls them into the house, and announces that he is going to use the veto on Candice. She is then replaced by Elissa, and says it is because she “creates a lot of waves in here, and it would be better for the harmony of the house if you went home this week.”
You can guess the final comments. Candice is happy, Aaryn is not worried, and David is “not too thrilled”. Elissa gets the last word, and she is “really sad” to be on the block. “He betrayed my trust.” Oh wait, the real final word comes from McCrae, who says that Elissa is NOT the actual target.
There you have it. The Elissa Show, featuring fifteen other co-stars! What did you think of tonight’s episode? Are you starting to believe that Aryn is a controlling little twit? Or that David may be the dumbest person to ever appear on Big Brother? Comments please. Pretty please?