There is one reason to watch tonight’s episode. Sometime early in the hour, probably around the twelve-to-fifteen minute mark, an event will happen that needs to be paused. You’re going to see a certain person’s face have an inner fight. The rigidity of chemicals and surgery is going to go to battle with a rare moment of emotion. Who will win? Modern cosmetic procedures or the natural elastic of skin?
There will be some other fun on the show tonight...or at least events that I’ll call fun, but we’ll start off where we left off on Sunday with the nominations of Kaitlin and Arryn. Judd thinks that his noms are pretty safe, except that Amanda isn’t happy. He’s just worried that he’ll put a target on his back for next week. Howard is “elated, but still a little nervous”. He notes that all of the strong males have left the house. Aaryn again complains about the “Texas Tornado” comment, and hates that she’s been made to look “sketchy in front of the whole house”.
She heads upstairs, where Judd is talking to Spencer, who leaves the room. She says that she’s not mad, but tears up when asking about that phrase. Her composure changes, though, when Judd tells her not to cry because his plan is to win veto, take either her or Kaitlin off the block, and then backdoor somebody. She promises not to tell anybody about this idea. Judd says, “act mad, act mad, act mad” as seh leaves the room.
Kaitlin is downstairs complaining to Amanda that if Arryn wins veto then she may be going home. She asks Amanda if she’ll tell her if she’s in danger, and after a moment of hesitation, Amanda says yes. Kaitlin says she doesn’t trust anybody in the house, and also doesn’t think anybody would tell her if she was a target. Arryn walks into the room, complaining that Judd was laughing as she was talking to him. Amanda attempts to reassure her, as she really does want Howard to be backdoored.
It’s now time for some whining. Elissa is asking about the MVP, because “every week about this same time, I’ve been finding out that I’m MVP. This week, it hasn’t happened. It’s so nervewracking.” She heads into the HOH, and is acting way weird. Amanda says she’s “acting like a woman who just found out she’s pregnant”, and attempts to get her to talk. She even does a perfect imitation of how she came into the room. Amanda then asks if she won MVP, and Elissa says no. “I just think I’ll go up if I don’t, hmmm mmmm.” In the diary room, Elissa acknowledges that people have been using her for the MVP, and if that’s not in play she’s in trouble.
McCrae and Amanda are now in the cockpit room, and after a kiss she tells him just how weird Elissa has been acting. She says she doesn’t understand her, and agrees that without the MVP there’s no use for her. McCrae even says she could possibly be backdoored by Judd.
Now Spencer and Howard are playing pool, complaining about Amanda. “I don’t feel good about them at all”, says Spencer. They think they’re going to run the house, and proceed to say their way to succeed is to “go with the house”. Kaitlin is their key, though, and they decide they need to get her and Judd to work with them. Oh yeah, and GinaMarie, too. “We’re still the Moving Company, baby”, says Spencer.
They head up to the HOH, and after Judd and Kaitlin walk in (GinaMarie was already there), they start in to some small talk about the MVP. “Helen and Elissa run this house”, complains Kaitlin. “Along with Amanda and McCrae”, counters Spencer. Howard says he has a plan, and goes into a chat about how they’ve all been “ostracized” from the house. GinaMarie is immediately all in, pretty much saying “preach it, brother” after everything that is said. Spencer laughs in the diary room that Howard is preaching nonsense, but it’s working with these dupes. “I’m ready to fucking play”, says GinaMarie. They slap fists to verify it’s on, baby!
After commercials, a number of people are talking about the MVP. Helen says that Elissa doesn’t have it, and maybe “America” is picking the nominee this week. “It gets America in the game.” Jessie is confused, though, and Helen believes the two nominees would have received the most votes.
So now we have the time I’ve been waiting for. Judd reads the card about the third nominee, who is....ELISSA!!!! The entire house is shocked! Shocked, I tell you! “Something weird is going on”, complains Candice. Elissa says she felt “betrayed...it’s a stab in the back!” Players for the veto are now picked, and they are Helen and McCrae, with Andy as the host.
With the meeting adjourned, Arryn actually complains that having her “worst enemy in the house” on the block with her is a bad thing. She’s worried that people may actually think that it was her that put up Elissa.
Amanda goes up to hug Elissa, who clearly doesn’t want her to be touched. She believes that it was either Kaitlin, GInaMarie, or Arryn who put her up, as “those are the only three girls I’m not close with”. GinaMarie goes up to hug her, and Elissa completely recoils. “Please stop!”
Elissa wanders into one of the bedroom, and GinaMarie follows her to find out why she was just treated like that. “You put me up.” GinaMarie swears on her life that she is not responsible, so Elissa then says that surely the other two girls told her this was going to happen. GinaMarie grabs Elissa’s Bible to swear on it, but Elissa says that’s disrespectful. “I just really want to go home. Just vote me out.” Candice pulls her out of the room into another bedroom, where Elissa continues to complain about how this isn’t fun. Candice reminds her that her sister also always had to fight to survive (kind of a myth).
At the same time, Arryn walks into the cockpit room and informs Amanda that she has to win the veto, as everybody is going to blame her for Elissa’s nomination. “If I’m on the block,, I’m going home.” Amanda says that it has to be something to do with a twist, and Arryn says that maybe Elissa put herself up.
GinaMarie now heads upstairs to inform Judd and Kaitlin that Elissa believes she put her up. If she had, she says, she would be jumping up and down. Kaitlin thinks this might be an act. “By putting herself up, it would prove to people that she’s not MVP this week.”
When we return from commercials, it is veto competition time. There are voting booths and a mud pit. To “earn” votes, they have to roll in the mud to find envelopes with a numerical tally of votes. The most votes wins veto, and there are other “prizes” attached to some ballots - both good and bad.
There’s no reason to recap everything that happens. Three or four people read the rules, there’s lots of laughter about the rolling in the mud, blah blah blah. “I just have to get down and dirty.” Yeah, you get the picture.
With the game finally over, we get the results. Helen goes first, and she has 29 votes, plus a 8 pm curfew for two nights (thank god). Kaitlin is next, and she has 25 votes. McCrae’s total is 20, but he also won five thousand bucks! Arryn’s total is 32, taking the lead from Helen. Judd also takes the lead with 38 votes, and a day of solitary confinement. It’s now all up to Elissa, and I think you know what happens here. She has 40 points, but can’t play in the next veto competition. Yes, the evil witch has just saved herself! GinaMarie says she better watch her ass next week, though! Now the paranoia starts again about the MVP!
After more commercials, Judd gives us a tour of his solitary confinement room. He says it’s going to be hell, but I believe he actually likes it. Helen then puts on her cute mom face to describe the 8 pm curfew. Worse, she’s starting to yell in the diary room like Dan did last year. Knock it off!
Meanwhile, it is McCrae’s birthday, and Amanda is getting all decked out to give him a special dance. She’s wearing a one-piece bathing suit, and Elissa wants to know whose it is. “Mine”, replies Amanda. “You brought a one-piece? Who are you?” Oh boy. Elissa continues to make catty jabs about how nobody wears one-pieces, but Amanda says she’s going to take them as compliments. “Mmmmmhmmmm, you look like you work at a strip club.”
Amanda and the crew head upstairs to celebrate, and McCrae couldn’t be more thrilled. Even before it happens, Elissa is complaining that “this is getting really risque”. Um, no, it hasn’t. Amanda then comes in, and everybody (but Elissa) cheers as Amanda spanks him. McCrae says that it was the best birthday ever, but Elissa continues to complain about how tasteless she was. Again, she bitches about the one-piece. Somebody mentions that Amanda should lick whip cream off McCrae, and Elissa bitches that will make her vomit. “It’s pretty frickin’ gross.” Really, bitch?
Amanda gets up and heads downstairs to cry alone. “She plays herself off as this good Christian girl, but she’s just nasty.” McCrae heads downstairs to console her, and tells her that the problem was that she got more attention than Elissa. What especially pisses off Amanda is that they had helped her when others had been mean.
Thankfully, there are now commercials, and when we get back Judd is still dealing with the solitary confinement (they had intercut shots of him during the last segments). Finally, it was time for him to get out, and everybody hugged him and he downed a beer and pizza.
It’s now veto ceremony time, and Elissa heads into the room to stare at the veto wall. Why, I dno’t know, as she has no say on the veto except to take herself down. Which, obviously, she does. They all look at the wall, and after an extended delay we find out the new nominee is...GinaMarie!
Howard is obviously happy with this new move. “Let the games begin.” Arryn still believes that Elissa is the MVP, as does Kristin. GinaMarie ends the show with some nonsense that I don’t have the time to translate.
So that’s it. Do you Elissa fans still believe she’s a wonderful woman? isn’t she the cattiest bitch in Big Brother history? Go ahead and complain about these statements. I can take it. Please comment.