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Wednesday
Jul232014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 13 Recap

It’s a pretty straightforward episode tonight. There’s some wheeling and dealing, a veto competition, and a veto ceremony. Plus, there’s bound to be lots and lots of filler.

The wheeling and dealing section of the broadcast could be interesting, though, as we had a few moments of excitement on the feeds right before they went black for the ceremony. If edited correctly, this should be a bit infuriating to those who want a certain person out of the house as soon as possible.

So let’s get started with the reactions to the Amber and Jocasta Battle of the Block victory. The victors are already inside changing clothes to the refrain of plenty of “Praise Jesus” chants from Jocasta. Amber replies that “I told these boys not to mess with me”. She is a tough competitor, you know.

Cody hopes nothing goes wrong in the veto comp, because, as you may guess, he doesn’t want any “blood on my hands”. I hate that cliche! Frankie is heading upstairs with Cody to wash the “tar” off his body, and he’s still happy even though his nominees are off the block. “I’m chilling.”

Brittany is now taking a nap, but a sly smiling Zach is bugging her about not being happy. “How comes you don’t talk to me?” This causes a reaction from Brit, who complains that nobody ever talks to her. “Everybody is acting like I’m shunned.” She complains that everybody is against her, and Cody put her up because she didn’t put her tits in his face. “I’m all alone in this house. All alone.”

Victoria is then seen saying the exact same thing to Hayden. Well, except for the part about her breasts. “I look so stupid on TV.” Well, that is true. “I bet America is laughing at me right now.” She complains that she doesn’t trust anybody, and being in the house is “torture”.

Half the house is now upstairs in the HOH, and Cody’s legs are laying over Amber’s. Uh oh. Caleb quietly wanders up just as Cody is “warming up” Amber’s fingers. He says he’s being “stealth” to see “exactly what’s going on in that HOH room”. The “stealth mode cowboy” is nto happy with what he sees, and gives them both the death stare. Just as quickly as he walks in, he goes right back out. “Awkward!”, screams Christine.

Caleb runs down to complain to Zach about Cody’s constant attention to Amber. Zach says that he’s like that with all of the girls, but Caleb says he should have “the respect and dignity” to do that to a guy that has done “everything” for this girl. Zach just sits there and eggs him on, and laughs in the diary room that “she’s not into you”, and promises to run upstairs to tell Cody all about this conversation.

Brit now walks outside and sees an irritated Caleb. “I’m just tired of the no appreciation”. It’s just wrong how Amber doesn’t just get down on her knees in front of her savior. “It’s just irritating to me.” An equally upset Brit whines about Cody’s flirtatious manner, and also how she’s always paired up with that worthless Victoria in the BOB competitions. Caleb claims that she has his vote to stay. After all, she “deserves to stay more...at the end of the day”. In the diary room, Brit admits that she doesn’t really trust Caleb, but she does need somebody to have her back.

Meanwhile, Zach is indeed reporting that Caleb is pissed off at Cody. “I literally don’t give a fuck”, replies Cody. “He’s pissed off because of a girl he’s creepily obsessed with.” Zach adds that Caleb claims that Cody says he’s putting a target on his back. “I don’t want him pissing me off in this game.”

Time to pick veto players, and another “blood on my hands” line. Ugh, knock it off! Cody goes first, and pulls Zach’s chip. “It’s time for Zach Attack!” Victoria gets Nicole, while Brit gets “house guest choice”. Who does she pick? Caleb. WTF? What a dummy! Cody is flabbergasted, but Brit says she picked him because he “looked yummy in that shirt”.

Cody is now talking to Caleb, who says he has no idea why Brit picked him to play. Nevertheless, he wants Victoria to go home and pumps up the greatness of Brittany. Cody is getting even more pissed, and hints that he may have to do something about this situation.

After a commercial break, it’s veto competition time. The backyard is set up like a soccer stadium, and Frankie’s overdone hosting is already driving me nuts. Before the competition begins, they are given the news of Germany’s world cup victory. The game is played by “kicking” a soccer ball into a net filled with sections that have points. The player with the lowest score is eliminated, and they have to pick a “prize”. Subsequent losers get the choice of their prize, or anybody who is lower than them.

Victoria is up first, and scores a 50. “Touchdown!” Ugh. Cody again mentions blood on his hands, but only gets a four. “I’m pretty much an idiot.” Caleb gets a 20, while Zach gets 50. A purposely confused Nicole claims that she has never heard of soccer, and gets a 20. Brit is last, and her ball bounces out of the one spot into the ten. Cody is the first out, and his prize is the veto! Too bad he won’t be holding onto that long.

The second round starts with a 22 from Caleb, followed by 5 from Zach and 20 by Nicole. Brit’s ball doesn’t even land in the net. Victoria gets a 28, so Brit is now out! “That fashion show girl is still in the game”, complains Brit. Her “prize” is a “penalty kick”, which means that for the next 24 hours she must get kicked by the apparatus. She obviously trades that with Cody’s veto.

No need to go through the individual scores from here on out. The next round gives Zach the boot, and he wins a trip to Germany. He keeps it, and pleads to all the single hot girls to contact him. The fourth round sees Nicole’s departure from the game, and she “won” a penalty where she has to kick 2400 goals in the next 24 hours. She trades it for Nicole’s veto, who wants to now kick her 2400 times.

It’s now the final round - Victoria versus Caleb. Who would have guessed? Victoria goes first, and kicks it out of the net. Caleb just has to land in the net and he has won. Guess what he does? Yep, he gets a 50. Victoria’s prize is $5,000, which she trades with Nicole for the veto. Caleb then pulls out the Germitard, but instead of trading it for the veto he grabs the five grand from Nicole. Everybody is stunned? “He’s definitely not a team player”, says Donny. “He’s the Dumbo of all Dumbo’s.” Donny couldn’t be more pleased, and he “hopes it’s the Dumbo.”

Victoria is obviously pleased to win the veto, especially since she likes jewelry so much. (Ugh.) Brittany is not as happy. “I just feel really alone in the house.” Cody again mentions blood on his hands, and is furious at Caleb. “He’s looking really good as a replacement.” Nominee, that is, not the seminal band from Minneapolis.

More adverts before we get back to people bitching about Caleb (and another “blood on my hands” comment). Twice, actually. Frankie doesn’t want to put Caleb up, though. “Stick to the plan!”

Downstairs, Amber asks Brit how she’s doing. You know that answer, especially now that she also has this 2400 goal punishment. Zach figures that she just has to get 100 per hour, and puts his face behind the goal as an incentive.

Donny doesn’t want to be a pawn, so he has to actually talk some game. He wants to get Caleb put up, and Zach doesn’t disagree. Donny says that if he’s not put up, he’s just going to get cockier and cockier. Caleb’s “a love struck, Fruit Loop, dingus hooligan”, scream Zach in the diary room. He firmly believes they have the numbers to send him to “Kentucky, where he belongs”.

Back to Brittany, who is taking a little nap as a break. Donny helps her up, and sits with her as she continues to kick. “She was a trooper”, says Donny. A sleeping Cody is also pulled out of bed for another penalty kick, and once more right after he climbs back in bed. “I’m exhausted...I’m completely losing it.” He even does it at one point without the buzzer going off.

Brit has now hit the 2000 mark, and she’s in complete pain. She believes that she’s going to prove that she’s actually a strong person, and Hayden starts screaming encouragement. Cue the anthemic music as she approaches 2400, and everybody screams in excitement when she does hit that final goal.

Back upstairs, though, Zach still wants to see Caleb go home. He has a series of reasons, including the fact that Caleb will go after Cody. Derrick wants Donny to be put up instead to ensure that Brit goes home. “It’s a layup.” All of the Detonators go back and forth on which one to put up.

More adverts before we return to see Donny in a rare visit to the HOH. Donny advises him that he needs to play his own game, and not just do what the others want him to do. What would his family want him to do? “My brother would call me a pussy”, replies Cody. “This is the week for you to drive the line in the sand”, says Donny. “Just do what you need to do. If it’s me, I won’t hold it against you. I’ll hold it against them.” Why, Donny, why would you give him this out? Cody then says he won’t put Donny on the block, and they hug.

Cody walks outside and announces to Frankie and Hayden that he’s putting up Caleb. He still wants Brit evicted, and is ok with Caleb now coming after him. “He fucked me, so he’s going up.” Frankie is pissed, and runs inside to do damage control. He wakes up Derrick to inform him, although they’re interrupted by Amber.Derrick only has minutes to change Cody’s mind.

Derrick tells him that Brit is going to play them, and Caleb will end up going home. Cody says Donny has done nothing to hurt them. Derrick replies that ultimately it’s his choice. We’re missing the “but…” that actually ended that chat.

What will Cody do? We have to sit through three minutes of commercials to find out. Woah, for once there’s actually some drama about what may happen (unless you watch the live feeds, that is). Oh yeah, we get another dumb Team America (Fuck Yeah!) mission. It’s dumb, so I’m going to ignore it. You should do the same.

Victoria is all dolled up to go through the veto ceremony, and somehow she manages to get through the script and poses. Cody says he still has no idea what he’s going to do. Victoria stands and obviously saves herself.

Cody then stands and congratulates Victoria. He says it’s a tough decision, and throws out another “blood on my hands” comment, and ends it by saying he hopes there’s no hard feelings before putting up...Donny.

Donny? Why, Cody, why? Your brother is right! You could have been a hero! What a disaster!

Donny is not happy, but he knows there are “other people involved who are in his ear”. Brit is heartbroken to be sitting next to Donny, but she has to “lie, cheat, or steal” to ensure she stays. Frankie, though, is happy that Cody didn’t go through with his plan to evict Caleb. Too bad for Team America (Fuck Yeah!), which gets a small coda at the end of his diary room comment.

So that’s it! What did you think? Were you hoping for Caleb to go up? Tell me what you think about everything that happened tonight!

 

 

Reader Comments (1)

Cody is a coward and he knows it. Not everyone can have balls. He doesn't.
July 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterboptist 23
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