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Thursday
Jul032014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 5 Recap 

Here we are with the first eviction of the season. Will it be the goofy “DJ” that speaks in baby talk? Or will it be the blue-haired hairdresser who somehow was voted for “Team America” but annoyed feedwatchers with her constant babbling?

We’ll also see how the show is going to handle the double HOH issue. Will there be separate teams again, or will the competition give the title to the top two finishers?

So let’s get to it after a super super-lengthy recap of the first week of the show. (Is it just me, or have these intros seemed longer than usual this year?) We kick off with the reactions to Donny coming off the block, replaced by Joey. Caleb hugs her, and tells her not to take it personally. She responds that it was a mistake, as it wasn’t what the house wanted. This is dumb. Caleb doesn’t like anybody, particularly a girl, to tell him he’s wrong. He doesn’t think she’s in any position to have such an opinion.

Now Pow Pow is talking to Caleb, and she’s telling him that she wants to stay. Caleb tells her that she has nothing to worry about, as Joey has “dug her own grave”. Pow Pow says she’s decided to just lay low this week.

We’re now shown a bunch of girls laying out in the sun, and Joey has decided that seven is her lucky number because that’s how many votes she needs. Since she was born on February 7, she somehow believes she has a shot to save herself. Silly girl. She works on Brittany and Nicole, and Brittany actually does want to save her. Neither girl gives her any real reason for hope, although Nicole happily reads the diary room script to make it seem like it may happen.

Devin is now asking Victoria (and Amber) who they’re leaning towards keeping in the bathroom. Devin wants it to be unanimous, so he tells Victoria that he needs to vote against the house. “Those who vote against the house will be targets.” This upsets Victoria. “I didn’t come into the house to play Devin’s game.” Others have entered the bathroom, including Zach, who is pissed that he would ask that.

Devin is then shown informing everybody else in different rooms that it has to be unanimous. Frankie responds in the diary room like I’ve been thinking. “As long as we have the votes, what does it matter?”

Joey is still campaigning, though, and now she’s working on Christine, who thinks it may be too early to go against the house. Joey wants to know why this would matter. “You’re the first target”, she responds. She then moves on to Zach, and attempts to work out a deal, but Zach says he’s voting with the house. He wants her to stay, though, and says there is a possibility that Devin and Caleb may change their mind.

Knowing she has little shot, Joey decides to “do something crazy” to hopefully get her votes. She dresses up as a man, Alex. How this will help her I have no clue, and I’m assuming the diary room told her to do this. Dressed in her costume, and then accentuating it with a “bulge”, she goes in and out of rooms yelling and doing other “manly” things like lifting weights. Nobody seems to really care, including the viewers, although once again Nicole happily reads the diary room cue cards. Pow Pow is thrilled, though. “Everybody knows Joey is crazy.”

After the first commercial break, it’s time to show the insanity of Caleb. He’s shown giving Amber lustful looks, and saying she’s “smokin’ hot”. He says he’s had a crush on her since the first day, and we get a montage of silly things he’s said about her. She wants him, you know. Frankie says it “seems kind of eighth grade”.

Cue the piano music, as Amber is now in the HOH room with him. He professes his desire for her, or attempts to, but his plea dies when he says “there’s a certain way you look at me”. Amber is horrified, and the room instantly cools. She thanks him for talking, and exits the room as quickly as possible. Caleb is still clueless. “I’m not going to give up”, he says.

With that over, it’s eviction time! Joey gets to talk first, and she says she’s physically and mentally stronger than Pow Pow. “Pick me. Keep a strong person in the pool.” Pow Pow responds by saying “thanks, Joey, for saying I suck at competitions”. Good one, silly girl. She wants to stay in the house, and “I do have a big heart. I still have a lot of fight in me.” That made more sense than anything she’s said so far this season.

Voting then starts with Devin, who votes to evict Joey, as does Derrick, Frankie, and Cody. For some reason, we then go to commercials. Zach is up next when we get back, and he also votes to evict Joey, as does Brittany, Nicole, Christine, Victoria, Jocasta, Hayden, Amber, and Donny. Yep, Devin got his wish with an unanimous vote.

Julie then announces the decision, and Joey calmly hugs everybody before departing. While we wait for the interview, Brittany is shown crying but nobody talks. Julie begins the interview by asking if she’s surprised it was unanimous, and dumb Joey thinks she had this all-girl alliance. What? Julie carries on with this topic, but Joey is unable to really give anything back. Let’s face it. Joey is worthless as a Big Brother contestant.

Finally, we get to the goodbyes. Frankie is first, and he says how much he loved her. “We’re cut from the same cloth”, but does add that she wasn’t made for this game. Pow Pow says she’s sad that Joey’s gone, but she’s happy that she survived. “I’m going to miss you, but I’m definitely not going to miss Alex.” Nicole gives an ultra-gooey “I loved every second” statement, and Caleb the expressed the Bomb Squad crap. “You just got blew up, baby girl.” Joey says he’s stupid, and says she knew they had this giant alliance. Julie finished by teasing the fact there’s an undercover cop and a brother of a pop star in the house, and that since the Team America player was evicted next week will see two people voted in.

With Joey’s stint over, it’s now time for the HOH competition, and this week there will be a male and female winner. This competition has a “Greek Week” theme, and the girls and boys will compete separately. It’s called “BB Rager”, and they have to walk across a balance beam toa  stack of kegs. They then have to haul “kegs” back to the other side, and stack them. Those not playing are able to throw frisbees at the other competitors.

The girls go first, and Amber jumps to an early lead, and Pow Pow far behind (again). One of Brittany’s kegs falls over, so she’s out of the game. Amber lays down her final keg, and wins!

Before the boys take their turn, there’s another ad break. A long, long ad break. When it finally kicks off, and Hayden sprints to the lead. Derrick is out almost immediately, and Cody is not far behind Hayden. Devin begins to catch up, and Hayden falls as he is running back after his last keg. Cody barely beats Devin to the buzzer, and is the male HOH!!

Or is he? Wait, there may be a problem with the ending. Julie says there needs to be a review of the tape! But first, we find out that Donny is this week’s Team America winner! Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s the only person I want in this awful twist. He’s almost in tears as he reads the announcement.

This final commercial break seems to go on forever. Julie then comes in and announces that Cody’s foot hit the ground before he hit the button. That makes Devin the new HOH!

 

 

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