Before we begin, a bit of an apology for the lack of Sunday recap. The truth is that sometime during that afternoon, I suddenly felt burnt out. The weekend was just way too buys. Besides Saturday’s Big Brother Gossip Show, I also had my music show on Friday night, and spent much of Saturday on a new BBG theme.
On Sunday, I had yet another job to do. I write for my local newspaper, and Sunday is the day that I transcribe musician interviews to turn into a story. Usually, these interviews are around fifteen minutes long, and it takes approximately two hours to transcribe and turn into a story.
This past week’s article, though, was much different. I interviewed Ian Astbury from The Cult, and he was a talker! I expected a normal type of chat, but it wasn’t until almost an hour later that I was able to wrap it up.
So after three hours of transcribing on Sunday, I was only a third of the way finished. I was in misery. I emailed my editor for a 24-hour extension, and then decided to just veg out in front of the TV. The last thing I wanted to do was to turn on my computer.
I finally did watch the episode, though, and there really wasn’t anything surprising or shocking. There was the usual segments inserted from previous days (or weeks), lots of fun footage of Zach acting like a loon, and the nominations and BOB winners we already knew. The only thing that came out of nowhere was some of Jocasta’s diary room comments. Who knew she could be funny?
So tonight’s episode is bound to be lots of fun. There will be plenty of antics from Zach, and also more insanity from Caleb. it’s a different kind of insanity this time, however!
Let’s get this over with, starting with the reactions to the not-so-shocking Nicole and Christine’s BOB victory over Jocasta and Victoria (who?). Frankie is shown heading up to the HOH, and he hugs Zach. Obviously, he’s pleased that he’s the “sole HOH of the week” who is now going to go after Amber. “We need to get Caleb on board.” Frankie and Zach talk about who they would pick to play in the veto if Frankie gets “house guest choice”. Zach adds in the diary room that he believes he’s in a great place because his boy is HOH, and “Amber has gotta go! Boom!”
Cute music comes up as Nicole and Christine celebrate. Ugh, I have to hear Nicole’s voice. It’s the worst. They’re both happy that Frankie is the sole HOH, as Zach is an “idiot”.
Meanwhile, Victoria (who?) is crying with Cody, and Jocasta walks in. Victoria blames Jocasta for their loss, but Jocasta blames Victoria. “Being partners with Victoria is like being partners with a toddler.” Jocasta attempts to give her a bit of a pep talk, but it does little good.
More filler, as Cody, Frankie, and Zach are once AGAIN talking about alliances. Cody doesn’t want to form a new one, so Zach says “if you’re not with us, you’re against us. We’re the ‘bros’”, and Hayden is supposedly included in this idiocy.
Zach then decides to go mess with the Have-Nots. His plan is to sit next to Christine and Nicole and eat snacks in front of them. Cody complains that “this kid is going so far overboard”. He asks them if they want some jerky, and then starts nibbling. Hey, anything that messes wtih that waste of space Nicole is great for me, especially when he adds “that’s what you get for being lazy”. Christine is pissed, and asks “why the heck am I still in an alliance with him?”
Cody and Frankie are also pissed, and are upstairs bitching about America’s favorite wild card. “He’s Devin”, says Cody. Frankie replies that if everybody wants him up, he’ll do just that. Sure you will, Frankie.
Frankie then attempts to calm down Zach. He asks him to not be so antagonistic with people, and says in the diary room it’s so that people don’t come to him begging to nominate Zach. “Ok, I just won’t open my mouth”, replies Zach. There’s one problem, however. Frankie is part of Team America (Fuck Yeah!), and still has to get two house guests to argue at the upcoming veto ceremony. “I need Zach to explode, but it has to be at the right time.” Frankie offers the suggestion of a veto speech, and Zach says he’ll do it “for me, for you, and for us”.
Ugh, another Nicole segment. She does the worst striptease ever to get rid of her Germitard, but Hayden claims it turns him on.
Now a dejected Victoria (who?) watches the boys play pool. I mean it’s ridiculous, as she cowers around the backyard wall. Hayden explains that he must remain friendly to her, as she can be used to help them, and then asks her if she’ll pick him for house guest choice in the veto comp. She replies, “if you want me to” as we see dumb Nicole turn her head to see Hayden draped over Victoria’s shoulders. “Are they making out?” Hayden promises to use the veto on her if he wins as Nicole wonders if they’re making out.
Hayden now gets the silent treatment. He asks Nicole if she wants to go in the hot tub, and then explains how he was cheering up Victoria by telling her to stop crying. Of course, Nicole believes Victoria wants him. She even asks Hayden if they made out. Ugh, she sucks. I’m sorry, but I just can’t hide it.
Uh oh, Derrick is now called to the diary room. He receives a letter stating that his grandfather passed away. He comes out and tells everybody, but says he needs time alone. He leaves the letter for the rest of the house to read, and heads into the have-not room to cry. Poor Derrick. Unlike a certain other person who received similar news, he handled it with complete class and grace.
Caleb is seen reading the letter, and the news spreads to the rest of the house. Derrick comes back out to the living room, and the house sits in silence. “I have to use this in a positive way to motivate me”, he adds in the diary room. “This is for you, Pepe.”
That’s a good spot for commercials, and we come back to Caleb and Amber in the kitchen. He asks her if pickles need to be refrigerated, but she doesn’t answer. There’s a flashback to Caleb’s “best date ever”, but he complains that she’s now ignoring him. “I have no idea why she’s acting the way she’s acting.” He continues on, as he has done all season, and the rest of the boys egg on his behavior by saying she doesn’t deserve him. It’s really ridiculous.
Caleb is seen pacing the backyard by himself, and he now claims he’s “no longer the romantic guy. I’m beastmode cowboy. Even if she tried to talk to me today, I’d say ‘you know what? Play your game, Amber’.”
Hmmm, from that we jump to Frankie and Zach’s homoerotic friendship. They give each other backrubs in bed, and pretty much just climb all over each other. “It’s too bad I”m not gay”, says Zach. “I’d absolutely marry you”, replies Frankie, who doesn’t believe he’s straight. “Zach, are you going to make a move? Just do it.”
Now it’s time to pick veto players. Jocasta is hoping she gets Donny’s name, as he’s saved her before. Frankie picks first, and indeed gets Donny. Victoria grabs the house guest choice, and picks Hayden. Nicole is not happy. Jocasta then pulls out Christine’s name, and for some reason screams it really loud. Christine is still pissed at being nominated, and says that if she wins she’ll keep the nominations the same. “I don’t want Amber out. They do.”
Zach and Frankie are happy with that draw, and celebrate in the kitchen. Amber comes into the same area, and says she wants the nominations to stay the same. “No more shady business.” Frankie lies and says he doesn’t think anything will change.
Most of the house is now seen in the living room, and stupid Caleb is dressed in the HOH robe. When Amber comes in and plops down on the couch, Caleb leaves the room. “I can’t even look at Amber right now”, he claims. “You want to play around and not want to talk to the king of this house...then why are you hear.”
Caleb ends up in the HOH, and tells Frankie and Jocasta about what happened. Frankie tells him to stay away from Amber. “My plan is literally falling into my lap”, he says in the diary room. Caleb adds that there is “no more romantic cowboy in this house”. What a loon.
After more commercials, it’s time for the veto competition. It’s a cowboy-themed competition, which obviously makes Caleb happy...even though he’s not playing in it. Donny claims to not be happy about the realistic-looking fake snakes.
So the contestants have to rock their “horse” sixty times to get thirty seconds of time to stack gold bars. There’s a little twist that if they fail, they can agree to slop for a week to stay in the game.There’s a lot of bad puns and claims of having to win the comp, but eventually Hayden does indeed win. BTW, what kind of coaching has turned on Jocasta in the past couple of episodes? She’s never this lively on the feeds. It certainly didn’t help her in the competition, as she was forced to take the week of slop to stay in the running.
Time for Operation Amber to begin after more adverts. The boys are all upstairs asking Hayden if he’s going to use the veto, and he says he will be using it on Victoria to backdoor Amber.
Amber now walks upstairs in booty shorts, and it’s pretty chilly in the room. Caleb just stares at her, and Zach says in the diary room the plan is to get Caleb to agree to this move of nominating her. “I smell blood in the water.” Caleb leaves the room, and Zach asks Amber what is going on with them. “Why did you guys break up?” Ha, Zach is the best!
“Next up - stir Beastmode’s pot”, brags Zach. He races downstairs to tell Caleb about how Amber is complaining about him. It’s so funny to watch. This may be my favorite segment of the year, especially since he believes putting up Amber is to scare her, not to evict her. Beastmode has to teach his Queen a lesson, after all! “It’s too easy”, exclaims Zach.
Caleb heads upstairs to the HOH to talk to Frankie, and says that they should convince Hayden to pull down Jocasta and put up Amber. “She’s floating to the other side”, he says. Caleb somehow believes he “runs this house”, and Frankie plays up to everything he’s saying. Caleb is convinced that this will make her come running to him. “I am the only person that can save you in this game.” Frankie is loving every second of this, and can’t decide which of these two is more clueless.
Oh yeah, we still have the Team America (Fuck Yeah!) silliness, so we get another Team America meeting. The plan is to get Zach to go nuts at the veto ceremony after Amber is nomination, and Donny has no problem with Amber being nominated. In fact, he believes it to be a swell plan, and is happy to have a “front row seat”.
Now’s the moment of truth. Hayden takes a look at the memory wall, and calls the house in. Jocasta says that she should come down because she’s “trustworthy” and “loyal”, and that Hayden is not a target. Victoria claims that she has “proven” that she’s a true competitor (wtf?). Hayden then pulls down Victoria.
Frankie, who is sitting next to Amber, then gets up and announces that his new nominee is Amber. She’s relatively calm about it, and then Hayden announces that the veto meeting is adjourned.
Before the box can be slammed shut, though, Zach jumps up because he has something to say. Here we go! “Amber, you’re sitting right where you belong, and you’re on your way out the door. I couldn’t be happier. Beastmode Cowboy has already saved you twice in this game. He risked $500,000on you, more than all of your boyfriends have spent on you combined. When you were both have-nots, not everyone gave you their blankets. Beastmode Cowboy gave you his blankets. And to top it all off, he ate a pickle. A frickin’ pickle. The food he hates more than anything in the world. He nearly threw up all over the kitchen just so you would go on a date with him. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
Amber is silent. “No?”, replies Zach. “Huh, that’s funny, because that’s what you have been saying to him this entire summer. It’s just really pissing me off, and I had to say something.”
Unfortunately, the mission failed although it was great fun to watch. Amber says that Zach didn’t have to pull this prank, and Jocasta thinks this scene was good for her. “Thanks, Zach. You did me a solid.”
So that’s it! What did you think of tonight’s episode? Was the Zach Attack great entertainment? Could Caleb be any dumber? Is Nicole’s voice the worst in Big Brother history? Tell us what you think!