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The Night Owl - Thursday Night

Well, I am filled equally with excitement and nervousness tonight! When the feeds came back after the live eviction show, we learned that the HOH had gone to a tie breaker between Nicole, Donny, Zach, Hayden, and Caleb.  Nicole and Donny won and became the new HOHs!

By the time we learned who the HOHs were, Zach was already in mini-panic mode and going between telling Nicole to go ahead and put him up because he deserves it (meaning that he can go ahead and play in BOB and or Veto), quietly nervous leg shaking, and begging her not to put him up.

Nicole then had a private conversation with Derrick in the Rock Room in which she mentioned the idea of backdooring Frankie this week and asked Derrick if she would have the votes (I want to scream YES YES YES...but I know nothing is easy when it comes to getting out the BB pet and this could all go horribly wrong.)  Derrick told Nicole that she would have his vote and that he would be down to backdoor Frankie all day long.  Do I believe that Derrick wants Frankie out right now? No.. no I don't.  I think he is protecting him for the Team America thing, but I'm not entirely sure he will fight it either since he knows that Frankie is really tough competition. I do know he feeds Nicole whatever she wants to hear because he has a faux final 2 deal with her AND because he is now solidifying another faux alliance with she, Hayden, and Cody.  Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself..

Donny talked to, or more accurately, listened to each person that could be a possible nomination and talked with each of them a little about where his head was at without giving away too much.  He made clear that he did not want to have to nominate Jocasta.  He also promised Zach he would not nominate him, and told Frankie and Derrick that he would not put either of them on the block because of the Team America thing.  He told Cody he still wanted to work with him and basically implied that he had no intentions of putting him  up, and he just listened when it came to Caleb.

Nicole talked to pretty much everyone as well and told Jocasta that she was not going to do what everyone else had been doing and put up two weak girls.  She later told her that she would probably be putting her up though.  She also explained to her that she would be putting her next to Zach who was absolutely going to want to fight to dethrone her, so she might be able to win.  I can feel Jocasta's heat stroke coming on already though, so don't count on her being able to move by the time BOB happens.

Eventually the HOH room reveals happened.  Donny got a letter from his girlfriend and there were many tears and laughs.  Nicole got a letter from her best friend who Caleb is now obsessed with.  The irony being that apparenly said friend tweets about how insane Caleb is all the time.  Oops..

After the HOH reveals, Donny said it was late and he wanted to go to bed soon, so he, Nicole, and Hayden had their nominations talk.  Hayden and Nicole mentioned almost immediately that they would like to backdoor Frankie.  Hayden really dropped knowledge about Frankie to Donny and let him know that Frankie had told him that he wanted to backdoor him this week.  Donny (because of the prior discussion with TA) said he would not be comfortable being the one to backdoor Frankie, but that he would most certainly vote against him if Nicole remains HOH and is able to put him up.  Nicole wants Zach to be the one voted out if she does not get the opportunity to backdoor Frankie (EEK!!)..  They all counted votes, and Hayden, Nicole and Donny believe that if Frankie is on the block next to Zach they will have Hayden, Donny, Jocasta, Victoria, and possibly Derrick and Cody. But really they only need the first four votes and then Nicole could break the tie and send Frankie packing.  Whether they have Victoria or not is up in the air imo.  I would like to think that since she likes Hayden so much and he saved her with the veto last week, PLUS Frankie put her on the block twice that she would vote their way, but Victoria is also SUPER close with Derrick when it comes to we shall see.

Donny decided that next to Nicole's nominations of Zach and Jocasta, he will put up Victoria and Caleb.  Their hope is that Caleb/Victoria beat Zach and Jocasta so that Nicole can remain HOH and try to backdoor Frankie.

The members of The BS, The Detonators, LTA, and The Hitmen all talked off and on downstairs.  Zach talked about knowing that he was going up and wanting to kill himself because he would probably be a have not this week.  He mentioned that he didn't feel completely safe even though they are telling him they have the votes to keep him against Jocasta/Victoria  because Amber thought she was safe too.  Caleb talked a lot about Amber to no ones surprise and his theories about people going on the block.  He told Zach that if Donny nominates 2 members of their alliance and Nicole puts Zach against Jo or Victoria, Zach will have to throw it because that's the only way to make sure 2 of them are not on the block.  Luckily that won't even ben an issue since 2 of them are not going up on the same side.

Derrick eventually made his way up to the HOH room after everyone else had cleared out and talked to Nicole again about her plans.  He smiled and nodded and said he would go along with what she wanted to do.  He told her he didn't care if Zach gets evicted, and if Frankie goes up and out that's fine by him.  They have also ALL agreed that no matter who the remaining HOH is, Frankie should be a have not this week. YES!!! 

Derrick also fed Nicole a bunch of BS about how he was really heart broken and got choked up thinking about the "mean" things Zach said to her at the nomination ceremony last week. He said he would never hang out with someone like that in real life because he has a daughter.  He of course didn't tell her that he mostly came up with the speech and had to make it happen because of Team America. But this all led up to him helping Nicole write HER nomination speech to Zach.  Supposedly she is going to say to him "I'd like to pull out the Big Brother Dictionary once again this week.  If we look up the word Karma, there's a picture of you.  The only difference is, you probably did see t his one coming."  I'm curious to see if Nicole will be able to pull off doing it.  I think if she does, Zach will likely love it.

So now that I've told you what has and is supposed to happen, here is where I get nervous.  Technically, Zach and Jocasta MIGHT be able to beat Caleb and Victoria.  Especially if it's a mental competition.  Then Donny would be the HOH and Zach and Jo would be safe for the week.  But, if it's a physical competition, I think Caleb will crush it while Jocasta will give up and have a heat stroke, a broken leg, or just all out go unconscious and they will lose and have to sit on the block.  The idea of backdooring Frankie makes me INSANELY happy, BUT, being a realist, here are a lot of the reasons it might not go down that way.  First of all, for Frankie to even sit on the block, either Zach, Jocasta, Hayden, or Nicole have to win the veto. I don't think anyone else will use it and there is a great chance that if Zach remains on the block next to Jocasta, he will get voted out.  Victoria already promised her vote to Nicole to vote him out, so that only leaves him Derrick, Cody, and Caleb...and POSSIBLY Donny as votes.  I think Christine, Victoria, most likely Frankie, and Hayden will vote him out.  Even if Donny does vote for him to stay, that will bring it to a tie and Nicole will send him out.

If someone other than Zach wins the veto who WILL actually use it, and Frankie goes up, everything is really in Victoria and Derrick's hands.  I think Frankie would run as fast as he could to Derrick and Cody and tell them that he knows all about Los Tres Amigos and that he and Zach have a fake final two that Zach thinks is totally real and Frankie will make up enough stuff to where Zach would probably lose Cody and Derrick's votes for sure. So that just leaves Victoria and I don't konw if she will vote with Derrick or with Hayden.

So there it is.  I'm EXTREMELY excited about the idea of Frankie being backdoored, but a LOT would have to fall into just the right place at the right time.. IE Zach winning the veto and taking himself down for Frankie to actually go home. So I'm not counting my chickens yet, and I'm extremely nervous for Zach, because you all know how I feel about that kid.  I will be SO bored if he gets voted out. 

I'm calling it a night so that I can be up for post nomination drama and to see who wins BOB.  I'm actually rooting for Nicole to be dethroned.  As much as I hate hate HATE having Frankie there, I just feel like there is no way this backdoor will work unless a miracle happens.  As always you guys can follow me on twitter @ashes2ashes13 for more overnight updates.  Until tomorrow night...




Big Brother Season 16, Episode 17 Recap

Welcome to what could be an extremely fun eviction episode. Why am I not my usual glum self? It’s simple. The Beastmode Douchebag is bound to be extremely entertaining. Without spoiling what is going to happen, he’s still completely clueless as to what is going to happen, even though his comrades have informed him of their plans. He’s going to explode! Or at the very least, he’s destined to say something stupid, or wear something ridiculous. There was even a promise that he’d interrupt Julie with a special commentary directed at Amber, although he was sadly told by production that this won’t happen.

Let’s not waste any time. We left off last night with Amber’s replacement of Victoria as a nominee, along with a hilarious rant from Zach. It’s the moment after Zach’s speech, and Amber refuses to talk to Frankie as she walks away. “You planned that. You all planned that.” She says in the diary room that she’s not going to let Zach get “under my skin”. She runs into Christine while walking into the bathroom, and she says “welcome to the club of Zach yelling at you”.

The camera switches back to the living room, and Hayden whispers to Jocasta that she won’t be going home this week. Victoria also tells her that she has nothing to worry about as tears begin to fall, but “in the house you never know”.

Caleb is now seen going into the have-not room to lay down, and he explains how the Amber nomination is just to “scare her. It’s to say ‘hey, you’re not always safe in this game’”. He continues to claim that he’s done “so much for this one person, and at the end of the day (ugh) we don’t want you to go home but we’re going to see how you react.”

Amber now walks outside, where Frankie, Christine, and Nicole are laying out in the sun. He apologizes to Amber, and she says she’s mad at Zach. “Why couldn’t he go up?” Christine and Nicole then ges up to leave, and she asks if she was put up for “personal reasons”. Frankie replies that it was because of what Caleb said about her. In the diary room, Frankie claims that he must act like he really doesn’t know, and tells her that she needs to ask Caleb. “You know how passionate Caleb can be.”

She walks back into the house, and finds Caleb reading the Bible. “Do you have something to say”, she asks. She tells him she’s heard that going on the block was his doing, and he admits to it. She wants to know why, and he reads from the Bible. “It’s so perfect.” Amber has no interest, but he says it’s about trust. He then complains that she’s been hanging out with Nicole, Victoria, “and all the other people instead of us.”

Amber can’t believe this. “You act like I’m aligned with someone else besides you guys. All of this that I’m hearing is like one big slap in teh face.” She then storms out of the room.

We now see Stalker Caleb staring at Amber through the patio door. He says he believes he may have made a mistake. Derrick then walks in and almost plows into the non-moving goof. Amber then walks in, and he asks if they can talk “without you walking off”.

They head back into the room, and he apologizes. “The one person I wanted to make a promise to and keep it in the house is you”. “Well, you just broke it”, she replies. He admits that he brought it up, and “they all said it was a good idea”. Meaning who, she replies. “The whole alliance”, says the dummy. She’s pissed with the news that they all knew. “I think I did everything wrong by helping others and not helping myself.” She tells Caleb she would never put him on the block.

Now Caleb heads up to the HOH, where Frankie is doign calisthenics. “Amber does nt deserve to be where she is, and I feel like such a sleazeball. It was a stupid decision.” Frankie replies that he thought it was a great idea when it was brought to him, and adds in the diary room that he’ll happily let Caleb take all the blame. “if she goes home, I’ll feel like the biggest asshole”, Frankie says with over-dramatic flair before hugging him. “I just wanted to do what was good for you when I saw you were wounded and hurt.” Of course, Frankie has to make a Brokeback Mountain joke about Caleb crying.

We move on to Amber being in the HOH with a number of people, and Zach asks her if she likes Caleb. She begins to tear up, and then walks out the door. She goes off into one of the rooms, and Christine comes in to comfort her. She explains how she feels pressure and she doesn’t like Caleb “like that..(and) if I’m here I have every right to put him up I want to”. Christine nods, but admits in the diary room that she’s loving this information. “We should keep her, and let her get Caleb out.”

She runs right to Zach, Derrick, and Frankie with this information. She wants to keep Amber, but Frankie thinks she’s “very dangerous”. He is still “elated”, though, as he can use this to “put the nail in Amber’s coffin”. His plan is to let Caleb know about this so that he’ll turn against her (again).

The boys, including Cody, now talk to Caleb in the HOH. Caleb wants to come to an agreement to keep Amber, and Zach asks if he believes everythng she says. Frankie then drops the bombshell that Caleb is now her target because “you’re ruining her game”. Uh oh! He doesn’t see that. “I’ve done nothing but help her game!” Zach is inspired by this turn of events, and eggs Caleb on (once again). Caleb gets up, and pushes Frankie aside when he attempts to keep him in the room. They all pretend to want him to stay, but celebrate as he storms out.

Dressed in a silly onesie and Amber’s bunny slippers, Caleb stomps down the stairs. He takes a seat in the living room, shocked by what he heard. “I feel like I got one of the biggest knives in my back,, and a dagger in my heart.” He takes off the slippers and tosses them aside as we head to commericals.

We return to Julie addressing the house. She offers condolences to Derrick for the loss of his grandfather, and then turns to Zach for his outbursts. He says “I can never keep my mouth shut. I want to reiterate the fact that all of you people in the room - I hate every one of you with every ounce of my body. It is what it is.”

Nicole is now asked about when Zach went off on her. She whines that she was shocked, “but I actually take it as a compliment because I like Fruit Loops and a dingus is adorably quirky”. Caleb is then asked a viewer question about the bunny slippers and the scarves. “Is this the way you dress at home?” He replies that it is. “They’re Amber’s slippers, and they fit good on my feet. I’ve been a have-not for two solid weeks (actually, no), and it’s cold so that’s where the scarves come out. Every once in awhile I like to be metro, you know. I”m a cowboy, but I throw some metro every once in awhile. I think Frankie is rubbing off on me.”

Julie then brings up the latest Team America mission that I forgot to report on last night. Well, I didn’t forget. I ignored it. This time, they have to vote against the majority of the house, and then blame two others. Derrick, who read the card, isn’t real happy with this mission because “it could put our long term games in jeopardy”.

Derrick goes to wake up Donny, but tells both Frankie and Donny separately. Derrick has a plan, but Donny’s not crazy about this plan. “It’s a character I don’t have inside the house, and I definitely don’t have it outside the house. These little young, smart people would know. I think it would blow my game.”  

Donny gives the news to the other two members that he doesn’t want to do it, but Frankie says they could claim that it was Zach that did it and everybody would believe it. Donny has no problems with the vote, but thinks the confronting part would be too out of character. “I chose to come play this game as Donny Thompson. I didn’t come across the country to have my game blown up.”

After commercials, it’s final plea time. Amber goes first, and thanks her family. She thinks Jocasta is a “wonderful woman”. She adds that she loves everybody, and “I think I’ve played a very, very honest and loyal game...I think it would benefit your game if I stayed in the house”.Notice Jocasta is not impressed!

Jocasta then thanks God and her family before saying that she is “so trustworthy”, and that she prays for all of them. “God bless you too, Julie”.

Voting now starts with Hayden, who votes to evict Amber, as does Victoria, Donny (sorry America, too risky), and Derrick before commercials. When we return, Zach votes against Amber, as does Caleb, Christine, Cody, and Nicole. Yes, it’s another boring unanimous vote.

Julie gives the house the news, and it’s pretty uneventful. She hugs a few people, accidnetally knocks into Zach, says she loves everybody, and heads out.

Wait, no fireworks from Caleb? He’s perfectly calm, and after Zach says she was “shocked” he replies that it’s what happens “when you bit the hand that feeds you”. Wait, what?

The interview begins with Julie asking who she feels most betrayed by with the unanimous vote. She says she doesn’t really know, as “I’ve played a very honest and loyal game”. She says it was probably Caleb, though, but “I’m sorry that I was not interested in him and I’m not going to pretend to be to win some money”.

Julie presses, asking if she’s shocked she didn’t get any votes. Amber replies that not really, and she thinks they all believe she was a flip-flopper even though she had no other alliance. She’d also like to see some of the girls start kicking out some of the guys. Julie follows it up about how the girls wouldn’t align with her to do that, but Amber had no answer to it. She also had no desire to blow up anybody’s game.

Caleb is then brought up (“oh my goodness”), and Amber agrees that it did “really affect my game...he has my bunny slippers still. Can I please get them back?” Flirting with Cody is also brought up, but Amber says he was like a brother to her. She now says that maybe his betrayal is what hurts her the most.

The goodbye messages are now shown, starting with Zach. “I’m extremely happy that you’re gone. I know you were coming after me, and this is better for my game. I don’t regret anything I said at the veto meeting. I just wish that I had more time to ether you even more.”

Christine then says that she loved being in the Bomb Squad with her, and outs the Detonators. “Honestly, Caleb’s next.” Donny then tells her that she was somebody “I relate to more than anybody else in the house. You’re a little taste of home in the way you talk and the way you carry yourself.”

Now here’s the moment we were waiting for. Caleb in his dumb onesie with the hood up telling her “at the end of the day, Amber Bamber, I’m still the king of this house, and the slipper just don’t fit you anymore. my Queen.” Holy shit, he actually put his stupid crown as he said that line! Before she heads out, Julie asks her if she’ll be Caleb’s date for the finale. “No!!!”

With Amber now gone, it’s time for the HOH competition. Julie explains that yesterday, the house got to watch videos from the house, and we’re shown footage of that happening. Yes, we get to watch videos of them watching videos. Scintillating, right? It’s even worse when Nicole’s screeching voice describes what they were seeing.

As expected, it’s an “A/B” competition called “Getting Loopy”. Ok, it’s actually “True/False”. Either way, it’s questions. Everybody gets the first question correct, but Jocasta is out in the second round. (Of course.) They’re all right on the third, fourth, and fifth questions, but Victoria, Derrick and Christine are out on the next one. They’re all correct for four more questions, but Cody is then eliminated. Again, they all get the next question correct, but they have now run out of time. Wait, what?

After commercials, Julie runs through the schedule once again. Why not ask a question here? That’s it? Come on. I have a feeling it was more of a factor of running out of questions rather than running out of time.

Well, I’m not going to spoil who actually wins it on the live feeds. You’ll have to wait for Ash’s recap!

I’m actually a bit underwhelmed tonight. Just like Devin three weeks ago, Caleb failed to live up to expectations. I wanted dramatics! I wanted screaming! Outside of his crown stunt, he was boring! What did you think?




The Night Owl - Weds Night 

Well, there was a lot of game talk overnight tonight, but honestly, not much of it really means anything since Frankie has all of the HGs convinced that today is a double eviction and a single HOH, so that's what they are preparing for.  Neither of those things are true.  We know because of the way the Team America task vote was worded that there will still be duel HOHs and we know that they won't have time to do a DE with the BOB still in play.  So, I will just try to hit some of the more important details of the night for you.

Early in the evening the memory wall changed into looping videos of the HGs in various comps.  They watched these and studied them while they were playing.  This will likely be part of a true/false or an A/B questions HOH based on the details in the videos.

The plan is still for Amber to be voted out. Caleb actually followed through with putting a pickle in a banana to put in her bag when she leaves. He also plans on telling her that he is the reason she is going home.

All of the Detonators have been scrambling to try and find a way to make Caleb NOT the target of the rest of the house, because they want to keep him as a vote/a number for themselves right now.  Derrick brought up to the other alliance members that they are cannibalizing their own numbers and making it easy for the other side of the house to gain momentum if only one of them were to flip to the other side.

They all talked about who they would put up as a target and agreed that Jocasta should be the target for the week, but in the event that she came down there is some confusion as to who wants to put up whom.  Christine was worried because she is essentially in with the other side of the house (Hayden/Nicole/Donny) and felt like they would be pissed if she doesn't put up Caleb.  They eventually came to the conclusion that she could put up Donny and just claim cowardice over not wanting to put Caleb up Caleb. Zach said he did not want to put up Donny but would rather put up Hayden since they have all been talking about how Hayden is the one person not in their alliance that could really be hard to get rid of once backdoors are no longer possible. This got mixed reactions, but in the end everyone pretty much agreed after several talks in several rooms that they would either be on board for whatever, or just cross that bridge if they come to it.

Hayden and Cody have both come to a point where they would like to be able to get Frankie out, and Hayden was vocal about it to both Cody and Nicole.  When he talked to Cody about it tonight, Cody said the problem was that they wouldn't have the votes.  Unfortunately, he is probably right for now.  Since The Detonators are trying to keep numbers, they most likely won't let go of Frankie any time soon.  Nicole also said she was down during a hammock date with Hayden, but they agreed that the probability of them having the votes to get him out was unlikely.  So, Nicole and Hayden for now are sticking with their targets being Caleb or Zach.

Frankie made a faux final 3 deal with Christine and Zach called "The Trust Circle" which is really just his way of protecting Christine from Zach for right now.  He also picked Zach's brain for a while about whether Cody and Derrick have mentioned being after him or not and asked questions about where the LTA alliance stands.  Zach eventually caved and told him a lot of the information Cody had given him the night before.  He told him how Cod thought he was Frankie's errand bo and that they know that he is in good with almost everyone in the house.  I will give Zach that he at LEAST didn't tell Frankie that Cody has talked recently about how Frankie might need to go soon.  So he did withhold a LITTLE information.  That part makes me happy, but I still have a feeling Frankie will run to Cody with the info Zach did give him the first chance he gets and try to further turn Cody against Zach.

Speaking of Zach, it's time for him to get screwed by another Team America mission.  We all know how much I hate these things, and this is the one I am least happy about so far. America voted for the option to have Team America throw 2 hinky votes at the eviction tomorrow and then have Team America blame 2 people and yell at them about it from the time the person is evicted until the start the HOH comp in the backyard.  And guess who Frankie immediately brought up to be their scape goat once the mission was announced?  That's right...Zach!  Frankie and Derrick decided that they way they wanted to go about it is to ask Caleb if changed his mind last minute (therefore implying that he changed his vote) and then start saying to Zach that it was him because he wanted to stir the pot.

Afer deciding how they thought the mission should go, Derrick went and woke up Donny to tell him about it.  Donny said he thought they should decline the mission.  He talked first to Derrick about how there are some smart people in the house that will not stop trying to figure things out until they get to the bottom of the wonky votes.  Then he went to the DR to get further instructions about it.

While Donny was in the DR, Derrick and Frankie talked about how they HAVE to talk him into doing it. Frankie whispered "I need more money!"  Then when Donny got out of the DR, they eventually were able to get him up to the HOH room alone to talk with both of them.  Donny continued to say he did not want to do it.  He said that accusing someone specifically of throwing a weird vote would be completely out of character for him.  He also said that he came there to play Big Brother and play his own game and that he did not travel that far to play America's game.  Derrick and Frankie eventually said they would all sleep on it and talk about it again in the morning and if they have to decline then they will. 

As soon as Donny left the HOH room, Frankie turned to Derrick and said "Donny has to go!"  I agree with Donny that he shouldn't have to play America's game just because America got a vote, but unfortunately it will probably send him home really soon because Derrick and Frankie will have him nominated and voted out before he can think twice if the is refusing to do the missions and keeping them from their money.  I also REALLY hate this for Zach.  My feelings are that if we have to have a stupid America's vote where they mess with other people's games and make them look untrustworthy, they shouldn't be able to use the same person week after week after week.  Zach's game hasn't really recovered from the last Team America mission, and he got lucky that the one where they claimed he was Amanda's cousin didn't screw him, because it easily could have. I find the America's votes where we have to actually mess with other people's games to be extremely frustrating. PS- I hope they cut Zach a check for doing at least half if not most of the work on these missions. *steps off soap box*

Amber is still set to go home today and the vote should either be 9-0 or 7-2 if they go through with the Team America mission.  If two members of the Bomb Squad win the HOHs, the nominations SHOULD be Jocasta/Victoria and Either Nicole/Hayden or Nicole/Donny unless they decide to throw up two of their stronger players to beat Victoria and Jocasta and keep them nominated.  If anyone outside of the BS wins, I have no idea what will happen other than that the target will likely be Caleb or Zach.  We will just have to wait and see how it all plays out. As always you guys can follow me on twitter @ashes2ashes13 for more overnight updates.  Until tomorrow night...



Big Brother Season 16, Episode 16 Recap

Before we begin, a bit of an apology for the lack of Sunday recap. The truth is that sometime during that afternoon, I suddenly felt burnt out. The weekend was just way too buys. Besides Saturday’s Big Brother Gossip Show, I also had my music show on Friday night, and spent much of Saturday on a new BBG theme.

On Sunday, I had yet another job to do. I write for my local newspaper, and Sunday is the day that I transcribe musician interviews to turn into a story. Usually, these interviews are around fifteen minutes long, and it takes approximately two hours to transcribe and turn into a story.

This past week’s article, though, was much different. I interviewed Ian Astbury from The Cult, and he was a talker! I expected a normal type of chat, but it wasn’t until almost an hour later that I was able to wrap it up.

So after three hours of transcribing on Sunday, I was only a third of the way finished. I was in misery. I emailed my editor for a 24-hour extension, and then decided to just veg out in front of the TV. The last thing I wanted to do was to turn on my computer.

I finally did watch the episode, though, and there really wasn’t anything surprising or shocking. There was the usual segments inserted from previous days (or weeks), lots of fun footage of Zach acting like a loon, and the nominations and BOB winners we already knew. The only thing that came out of nowhere was some of Jocasta’s diary room comments. Who knew she could be funny?

So tonight’s episode is bound to be lots of fun. There will be plenty of antics from Zach, and also more insanity from Caleb. it’s a different kind of insanity this time, however!

Let’s get this over with, starting with the reactions to the not-so-shocking Nicole and Christine’s BOB victory over Jocasta and Victoria (who?). Frankie is shown heading up to the HOH, and he hugs Zach. Obviously, he’s pleased that he’s the “sole HOH of the week” who is now going to go after Amber. “We need to get Caleb on board.” Frankie and Zach talk about who they would pick to play in the veto if Frankie gets “house guest choice”. Zach adds in the diary room that he believes he’s in a great place because his boy is HOH, and “Amber has gotta go! Boom!”

Cute music comes up as Nicole and Christine celebrate. Ugh, I have to hear Nicole’s voice. It’s the worst. They’re both happy that Frankie is the sole HOH, as Zach is an “idiot”.

Meanwhile, Victoria (who?) is crying with Cody, and Jocasta walks in. Victoria blames Jocasta for their loss, but Jocasta blames Victoria. “Being partners with Victoria is like being partners with a toddler.” Jocasta attempts to give her a bit of a pep talk, but it does little good.

More filler, as Cody, Frankie, and Zach are once AGAIN talking about alliances. Cody doesn’t want to form a new one, so Zach says “if you’re not with us, you’re against us. We’re the ‘bros’”, and Hayden is supposedly included in this idiocy.

Zach then decides to go mess with the Have-Nots. His plan is to sit next to Christine and Nicole and eat snacks in front of them. Cody complains that “this kid is going so far overboard”. He asks them if they want some jerky, and then starts nibbling. Hey, anything that messes wtih that waste of space Nicole is great for me, especially when he adds “that’s what you get for being lazy”. Christine is pissed, and asks “why the heck am I still in an alliance with him?”

Cody and Frankie are also pissed, and are upstairs bitching about America’s favorite wild card. “He’s Devin”, says Cody. Frankie replies that if everybody wants him up, he’ll do just that. Sure you will, Frankie.

Frankie then attempts to calm down Zach. He asks him to not be so antagonistic with people, and says in the diary room it’s so that people don’t come to him begging to nominate Zach. “Ok, I just won’t open my mouth”, replies Zach. There’s one problem, however. Frankie is part of Team America (Fuck Yeah!), and still has to get two house guests to argue at the upcoming veto ceremony. “I need Zach to explode, but it has to be at the right time.” Frankie offers the suggestion of a veto speech, and Zach says he’ll do it “for me, for you, and for us”.

Ugh, another Nicole segment. She does the worst striptease ever to get rid of her Germitard, but Hayden claims it turns him on.

Now a dejected Victoria (who?) watches the boys play pool. I mean it’s ridiculous, as she cowers around the backyard wall. Hayden explains that he must remain friendly to her, as she can be used to help them, and then asks her if she’ll pick him for house guest choice in the veto comp. She replies, “if you want me to” as we see dumb Nicole turn her head to see Hayden draped over Victoria’s shoulders. “Are they making out?” Hayden promises to use the veto on her if he wins as Nicole wonders if they’re making out.

Hayden now gets the silent treatment. He asks Nicole if she wants to go in the hot tub, and then explains how he was cheering up Victoria by telling her to stop crying. Of course, Nicole believes Victoria wants him. She even asks Hayden if they made out. Ugh, she sucks. I’m sorry, but I just can’t hide it.

Uh oh, Derrick is now called to the diary room. He receives a letter stating that his grandfather passed away. He comes out and tells everybody, but says he needs time alone. He leaves the letter for the rest of the house to read, and heads into the have-not room to cry. Poor Derrick. Unlike a certain other person who received similar news, he handled it with complete class and grace.

Caleb is seen reading the letter, and the news spreads to the rest of the house. Derrick comes back out to the living room, and the house sits in silence. “I have to use this in a positive way to motivate me”, he adds in the diary room. “This is for you, Pepe.”

That’s a good spot for commercials, and we come back to Caleb and Amber in the kitchen. He asks her if pickles need to be refrigerated, but she doesn’t answer. There’s a flashback to Caleb’s “best date ever”, but he complains that she’s now ignoring him. “I have no idea why she’s acting the way she’s acting.” He continues on, as he has done all season, and the rest of the boys egg on his behavior by saying she doesn’t deserve him. It’s really ridiculous.

Caleb is seen pacing the backyard by himself, and he now claims he’s “no longer the romantic guy. I’m beastmode cowboy. Even if she tried to talk to me today, I’d say ‘you know what? Play your game, Amber’.”

Hmmm, from that we jump to Frankie and Zach’s homoerotic friendship. They give each other backrubs in bed, and pretty much just climb all over each other. “It’s too bad I”m not gay”, says Zach. “I’d absolutely marry you”, replies Frankie, who doesn’t believe he’s straight. “Zach, are you going to make a move? Just do it.”

Now it’s time to pick veto players. Jocasta is hoping she gets Donny’s name, as he’s saved her before. Frankie picks first, and indeed gets Donny. Victoria grabs the house guest choice, and picks Hayden. Nicole is not happy. Jocasta then pulls out Christine’s name, and for some reason screams it really loud. Christine is still pissed at being nominated, and says that if she wins she’ll keep the nominations the same. “I don’t want Amber out. They do.”

Zach and Frankie are happy with that draw, and celebrate in the kitchen. Amber comes into the same area, and says she wants the nominations to stay the same. “No more shady business.” Frankie lies and says he doesn’t think anything will change.

Most of the house is now seen in the living room, and stupid Caleb is dressed in the HOH robe. When Amber comes in and plops down on the couch, Caleb leaves the room. “I can’t even look at Amber right now”, he claims. “You want to play around and not want to talk to the king of this house...then why are you hear.”

Caleb ends up in the HOH, and tells Frankie and Jocasta about what happened. Frankie tells him to stay away from Amber. “My plan is literally falling into my lap”, he says in the diary room. Caleb adds that there is “no more romantic cowboy in this house”. What a loon.

After more commercials, it’s time for the veto competition. It’s a cowboy-themed competition, which obviously makes Caleb happy...even though he’s not playing in it. Donny claims to not be happy about the realistic-looking fake snakes.

So the contestants have to rock their “horse” sixty times to get thirty seconds of time to stack gold bars. There’s a little twist that if they fail, they can agree to slop for a week to stay in the game.There’s a lot of bad puns and claims of having to win the comp, but eventually Hayden does indeed win. BTW, what kind of coaching has turned on Jocasta in the past couple of episodes? She’s never this lively on the feeds. It certainly didn’t help her in the competition, as she was forced to take the week of slop to stay in the running.

Time for Operation Amber to begin after more adverts. The boys are all upstairs asking Hayden if he’s going to use the veto, and he says he will be using it on Victoria to backdoor Amber.

Amber now walks upstairs in booty shorts, and it’s pretty chilly in the room. Caleb just stares at her, and Zach says in the diary room the plan is to get Caleb to agree to this move of nominating her. “I smell blood in the water.” Caleb leaves the room, and Zach asks Amber what is going on with them. “Why did you guys break up?” Ha, Zach is the best!

“Next up - stir Beastmode’s pot”, brags Zach. He races downstairs to tell Caleb about how Amber is complaining about him. It’s so funny to watch. This may be my favorite segment of the year, especially since he believes putting up Amber is to scare her, not to evict her. Beastmode has to teach his Queen a lesson, after all! “It’s too easy”, exclaims Zach.

Caleb heads upstairs to the HOH to talk to Frankie, and says that they should convince Hayden to pull down Jocasta and put up Amber. “She’s floating to the other side”, he says. Caleb somehow believes he “runs this house”, and Frankie plays up to everything he’s saying. Caleb is convinced that this will make her come running to him. “I am the only person that can save you in this game.” Frankie is loving every second of this, and can’t decide which of these two is more clueless.

Oh yeah, we still have the Team America (Fuck Yeah!) silliness, so we get another Team America meeting. The plan is to get Zach to go nuts at the veto ceremony after Amber is nomination, and Donny has no problem with Amber being nominated. In fact, he believes it to be a swell plan, and is happy to have a “front row seat”.

Now’s the moment of truth. Hayden takes a look at the memory wall, and calls the house in. Jocasta says that she should come down because she’s “trustworthy” and “loyal”, and that Hayden is not a target. Victoria claims that she has “proven” that she’s a true competitor (wtf?). Hayden then pulls down Victoria.

Frankie, who is sitting next to Amber, then gets up and announces that his new nominee is Amber. She’s relatively calm about it, and then Hayden announces that the veto meeting is adjourned.

Before the box can be slammed shut, though, Zach jumps up because he has something to say. Here we go! “Amber, you’re sitting right where you belong, and you’re on your way out the door. I couldn’t be happier. Beastmode Cowboy has already saved you twice in this game. He risked $500,000on you, more than all of your boyfriends have spent on you combined. When you were both have-nots, not everyone gave you their blankets. Beastmode Cowboy gave you his blankets. And to top it all off, he ate a pickle. A frickin’ pickle. The food he hates more than anything in the world. He nearly threw up all over the kitchen just so you would go on a date with him. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Amber is silent. “No?”, replies Zach. “Huh, that’s funny, because that’s what you have been saying to him this entire summer. It’s just really pissing me off, and I had to say something.”

Unfortunately, the mission failed although it was great fun to watch. Amber says that Zach didn’t have to pull this prank, and Jocasta thinks this scene was good for her. “Thanks, Zach. You did me a solid.”

So that’s it! What did you think of tonight’s episode? Was the Zach Attack great entertainment? Could Caleb be any dumber? Is Nicole’s voice the worst in Big Brother history? Tell us what you think!