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Big Brother Season 13, Episode 22 Recap

Tonight marks a true rarity when it comes to CBS broadcasts of Big Brother. As I’ve complained all season, the producers work under a never-changing template. Ask me the time of a particular moment on any show, and I can generally tell you exactly what they’re going to show. Even the eviction episode is pretty predictable as the evictee is obvious the moment the veto ceremony concludes.

That’s not true for tonight’s episode. Yes, there is a double eviction, and that’s always a bit unpredictable. It’s not just that fact that makes tonight a crap shoot, though. Due to some unusual moves the last two days, it is not entirely clear who is even going to be the first evictee of the night. Even a few of the conversations held in the house earlier today are inconclusive. One set of viewers claims it points to one person; another says we could see a huge surprise.

Unfortunately, we won’t see much of the maneuvering that led to this situation, as the double eviction drastically cuts into the small amount of time that’s reserved for post-veto activities. After Julie’s explanation of how double eviction works, we jump to the reactions to Jeff replacing Porsche with Daniele. She immediately heads out of the room so she doesn’t say “things that will sink my ship”. She is going to campaign even though Kalia is her best friend.

Rachel gets out her usual lines about hating Daneile, and Porsche says it sucks to have to “pick between the two friends I have in the house”. Kalia knows that Daneile is the real target so she’s going to lay low, but it “really sucks” that her good pal is being taken away from her. Jeff adds that he will be “shocked” if Daniele doesn’t leave, and it will mean his alliance has “flipped” if that does happen.

Well, the fun starts right away, as Daniele joins Shelly in the backyard. Shelly asks how she’s doing, and Daniele’s response is that she’s not going to “roll over”. She says that it all comes down to getting Adam and Shelly’s voice, and she jumps right into letting Shelly know that Jordan, Rachel, and Jeff are the guaranteed final three. She asks if she has any shot at Shelly’s vote, and Shelly says yes but she wants to be assured that Daniele won’t put her up. “If you keep me in this house, you have my word on my grandmother’s life I will never nominate you. Ever.”

Shelly says in the diary room that Jeff and Jordan are by far her biggest allies, but if she goes to the finals with them she’ll get “zip”. She starts bawling about how she has to go against “the two people that have given me the greatest gift in the game, their friendship, but I don’t think I have any other option.”

Jump ahead a day and we see the second day of Shelly’s interrogation of Adam. She rolls out the facts of how they’re the low points of their alliance with Jeff and Jordan, and Adam admits she makes good points. Adam is not convinced, though, and says he doesn’t know if he can trust Daniele. Shelly is flabbergasted. “You’re not going to win against Jeff and Jordan! This is for a half million dollars! This is for all the metal concerts you ever want to go to!”

Adam is now lifting weights with Jeff, with Shelly and Daniele looking on. Daniele asks if he has a deal with them, and when Shelly says no she adds that he’s just “in love with them”. Shelly fills her in on her earlier conversation with Adam, and says she wants “him to be strong enough to make a big move. If he’s not, he’s not going to win”. Daniele is pissed that she’s going home because that “doofus” is the deciding vote.

We jump ahead again to last night, and Adam and Jeff are practicing the game that Big Brother has provided. Adam says that in case it is the HOH device, he’s “going to practice all night”. Shelly is now sitting with Rachel, and she starts to, believe it or not, work on Rachel. She hits Rachel right where it hurts by telling her that Jeff threw the “cornhole” game that led to Brendon’s departure. Rachel is pissed! “If they screw over Brendon like that, they’ll probably try to screw me over.”

Rachel heads inside, and asks to talk to Daniele to investigate. Daniele says that it is true, and Rachel then asks about joining her and Porsche in a team. As much as she hates her guts, Rachel says it “might be a better game move”. Rachel asks if she has the votes, and when Daniele says she has Shelly’s vote, Rachel says no. Daniele is shocked that she has “a glimmer of hope in red extensions and furry boots. I will do anything to stay, even if that means making a deal with the devil.”

Shockingly, Julie Chen lets us know that the house just “exploded” when Jeff learned that Shelly has done this work on Daniele’s behalf. We then head into the house and Julie announces the double eviction. We jump right to the final pleas, and Daniele begins. She starts with the usual thank yous, and being that she is supposedly the only person in the house with a love and respect for the game she deserves to stay. Say what? “It also saddens me that these people are too afraid to stand on their own two feet and make a stand, and use the brain the Good Lord has graciously given them. I came here to play a game that I love, but unfortunately other people had a different agenda. That agenda is to sit around for the entire summer to write Jeff and Jordan a paycheck. So congratulations!” Wow!

Kalia gets up and admits she can’t follow that, so “vote for me”. She sits down and voting begins with Jordan, who obviously votes to evict Daniele. Porsche is next, and she votes to evict Kalia, as does Shelly. So here’s the crucial vote – who does Rachel vote for? She votes against “bad game play and backstabbers”. Yes, she votes against Daniele, as does Adam. Daniele is evicted 3-2!

Julie announces the decision, and hugs only her friends before saying “step it up, people”. After both saying the silly “shocker”, Julie asks about what went wrong and we get a repeat of her final plea. “Adam is the worst player to ever play this game!” Julie points out that she looked like she was coasting but screwed it up by making a play after Jeff. “I’m not a coaster.” We jump right to the goodbye messages, and Shelly says she is “really impressed with her”. Jeff jokes about being her “best friend”, and Kalia breaks down crying as she talks about making a great friend. She promises to make sure that Rachel sees her “stupid fiancé” real soon. Of course, Rachel is all giddy and says she doesn’t care about her “stupid jury vote”. She hates her, and says she’s not “half the game player your dad was”. Oh boy.

It’s now HOH time, and as expected it is a question game called “Before or After”. Julie names two events, and they have to say if the first one was before or after the second event. Everybody gets the first answer correct, but Adam is out on the second question. Everybody but Jordan and Kalia get the next question wrong, but Jordan messes up the final question making Kalia the winner! Wow! She grabs Porsche and Shelly to confer as we go to a commercial!

When we return, Rachel is sitting by herself as the others are wandering around. Julie brings them into the living room, and Kalia nominates Jeff and Rachel. After another commercial break, we head out to the veto contest. Joining Kalia, Jeff, and Rachel is Porsche, Shelly, and Adam. This competition is called “Clowning Around”, and the players have to find clown shoes in a vat of balls. Rachel si the first to find one, followed by Shelly, Adam, and Porsche. Jeff finally finds one, and Porsche is the first to grab one to secure the victory! Nice work, El Camino! Jordan is in tears, and Adam grabs a quick smoke as we head to commercials.

Julie again gathers the troops, and Adam informs Porsche where to stand. Rachel gets to make a final plea, but she doesn’t know what to say. She says it would be a good choice to save her, but if not “good game everyone”. Jeff says his “action speak for themselves”, and says she “has nice hair, too”. Porsche makes the obvious decision not to use the veto…and we go to yet ANOTHER commercial!

Time is winding down as head to our second eviction. Jeff is yelling at Shelly as Julie calls them into place, and Rachel looks to be having a meltdown. Rachel gets to make a second plea, and she doesn’t make a lot of sense (as usual). Jeff says it is “simple” – and points to Adam and Shelly as people that need to vote for him despite one fight. Jordan is still bawling. “Respect me, and respect Jordan.”

Jordan is the first to vote, and obviously votes to evict Rachel. Porsche is next, and votes to evict Jeff. Adam’s vote is also obvious, as he votes against Rachel. Shelly is in tears as she votes to evict Jeff. It’s all up to Kalia! Wow! She says that Jeff is “awesome” but she has to evict him! He tells Jordan to “stay strong” and heads out the door. Jordan is crying that she has “nobody” on their side to Rachel, and Porsche counsels Shelly.

Julie asks if the backdoor of Daniele was a bad move, and he says it wasn’t. “Nobody in there has a sack. I don’t know if I can say that, but they don’t. I’m the only one who would have did anything in this game, and I had to step up to do something. And a couple of people who slept until now - it’s day 55 - they just woke up in there, won a couple of competitions.” Ok, enough as he rambles on. “I’m a little fired up, Julie.” The interview ends without the start of the next HOH competition. Fire up those feeds!

Well, two strong people hit the road tonight. What did you think of the episode? Are you happy Daniele is gone? Or Big Jeff? Why is Rachel bawling? Tell me your thoughts!


Things May Or May Not Be Happening In The BB House

(Note - please scroll down for a detailed timeline of events!)

So, without getting into all the crazy details, basically everyone went nuts last night in the BB house.  First Shelly decided to tell Rachel about the Veto that Jeff threw for Adam.  This is the same veto that in Rachels head sent Brendon packing.  Rachel then marched to the HN room and talked to Dani..some harsh words were exchanged at first, but then slowly things started to change and the conversation ended with Rachel asking Dani if she felt like she could get another vote from Shelly or Adam and Rachel told her that if she could get Shelly's vote by 5pm today, Rachel would vote to save her since none of them can beat JeJo in the finals. 

Rachel then went and confronted Jeff upstairs about throwing the veto..which he denied calling Dani a loser, and saying she was just throwing out any bullshit she could come up with to stay.  meanwhile, Daniele made her last pitch to Adam.  While Rachel talked to them she threw Shelly under the bus but didn't elude to the deal she had made with Dani at all. After Rachel left the room, she went back downstairs and disappeared after Shelly told her they needed to talk and decide what they were doing.  Adam went back upstairs to tattle to JeJo everything he has heard this week from everyone. He said a lot of really mean things about pretty much everyone including Shelly this time, ratting her out about trying to get his vote.

Then the feeds reset for the morning and we missed a lot.  When they came back. JeJo, Adam, and Rachel are outside and Jeff says "Doesn't look like her father (Dick) loves her either" followed by Jordan telling Rachel "Go to bed but don't listen to those losers".  Then Rachel went inside, went to the pantry with Shelly and Dani and told them she was on board to vote to keep Dani.  I have NO CLUE how Rachel is actually voting, but this could be an explosive day and an interesting show tonight!!


Big Brother Season 13, Episode 21 Recap

I must begin tonight’s recap with a bit of an apology – yes, I was a bit harsh on the house guests this past Sunday. Wait, screw that. I’m sick of them all! Their game play is horrendous, and that includes the CBS golden boy and his illiterate “girlfriend”!

OK, I got that off my chest.  I’m going to try to play a bit nicer tonight, but it is not going to be easy as I expect it to be DULLSVILLE! When the so-called highlight of the show is the return of the Zingbot, you know the show has plenty of problems.

As always, the reactions to Jeff’s nominations of Porsche and Kalia is the spot where we join the festivities. (BTW, CBS did a nice job on the recap to set the stage for what happens tonight.) Porsche says that she’s not surprised, but somehow thinks she’s a “bigger threat” than Kalia. Somehow, Kalia thinks the same, especially since she doesn’t just hang out in a bikini. Jeff comes right out and says that he loves his nominations, and if they stay the same Kalia must go. HOWEVER, if “the stars align…maybe Daniele gets backdoored”. Daniele knows this is possible, and must do whatever it takes to ensure that does not happen.

Kalia and Daniele are now in the kitchen eating, and Daniele asks how it feels to be nominated. Kalia shrugs, and Daniele notes that she is “the last one who hasn’t been on the block yet”. She again admits that she is worried that this week may end that streat, and Kalia asks if Daniele would be safe from nomination if she won the veto and used it to save her. In the diary room, Daniele says that although she promised to throw the competition, the best scenario is for her to win it to force Jeff to put one of his alliance members up. Daniele then heads into the have-not room to talk to Porsche, and she also says the best plan is for Daniele to win the veto. “This blows.”

Adam and Jeff are now talking, and Adam says he thought that he was going to put up Daniele. Jeff says that he has some points to prove, and they both talk about how that “side” of the house needs to be shown how to play the game. Adam shoves his tongue even further up Jeff’s ass by congratulating “Big Jeff” on being classy. Adam says that if he somehow wins veto, he’s going to let Jeff tell him what to do with it.

Time for some Rachel silliness. Porsche and Daniele are in the kitchen, and Rachel comes in to start needling Daniele. “Daniele hates life right now…why do you hate life so bad?” This goes on for a bit, and for the whole story you really should listen to last week’s episode of the Big Brother Gossip Show. Daniele says Rachel is “obsessed with me”. Rachel says her motivation is to get under her skin because Daniele evicted Brendon twice.

It must have worked, as Daniele heads outside and whines to Jordan about how she wants to punch Rachel. They’re joined by Rachel, who asks why Daniele is pissed off. Daniele just gets up and walks away, and Rachel asks her what she did. “I have a halo over my head right now…I was just trying to make sure she was ok”.

After a commercial break, it is time to pick veto players. Besides the six players, Daniele is also involved because of last week’s veto card she won. Jeff pulls out Jordan’s name, Porsche nabs Adam, and Kalia gets houseguest choice. Surprisingly, she chose Shelly over Rachel. Daniele couldn’t be happier that Rachel is not playing.

Before we get to the competition, though, we have to sit through the silliness of Jordan stripping off her humilitard. Yes, it is the least sexy striptease of all time, even with Jeff’s scripted diary room banter about how much he is enjoying it.

Back to serious “bizness”, as Jeff and Jordan watch Daniele and Porsche cook in the kitchen. Oh wait, this is just more filler as they do a MST3 2000 routine to the spy cam action of Daniele and Porsche. Oh yes, and an argument over how to say the word “mischievous”. I’ll refrain from the sort of comments I would have made on Sunday about this cutesy idiocy.

OK, now it is serious stuff, as Daniele and Kalia whine. Kalia has a good feeling that the comp will be something that Daniele is good at doing. Daniele, though, says if she wins she will have a hard time deciding on whom to use it on. It certainly sounds like Kalia is going to throw it, though, so in my eyes she deserves to go home this week. Anybody remember the Dom fiasco?

It is veto comp time, which also means it is time for the dreaded Zingbot 3000. Rachel says she wants to be “zinged”, and it goes quiet. It comes back to life, and throws out one-liners about Jeff’s soul patch, Porsche’s booty size, Rachel’s use of the word “fiancé” (with an awful scripted “me and my man” line), Daniele’s father, Adam’s similar look to Uncle Fester, Shelly’s similarity to a “dude”, Kalia’s sex blog/sleeping, and Jordan’s inability to answer questions (“the only reason Jeff hasn’t proposed is because of your inability to answer questions”).

Silly time over, everybody heads out back for the veto competition. Rachel is happy because the set is all “science-y”, and Daniele gets out her own “zing”. Everybody must assemble the Zingbot’s “bride”, and the winner is the first to successfully complete the puzzle. In case you forgot, Kalia reminds us that the best case scenario is for Daniele to win, but notes that she must think for herself first.

The game begins, and after ONCE AGAIN listening to the rules from Jeff, we hear Adam say that he had no desire to win this competition. A rarity occurs as Daniele actually recites a scripted line (she has said on the feeds that she refuses to do such a thing), and then Shelly ALSO says she’s throwing this comp. Jeff makes a joke about Kalia and Porsche “taking a nap”, and Kalia and Adam both make the same bad joke about a mechanical dates are the only ones they get.

Jeff is pulling way ahead of Daniele and Porsche, the only two players actually trying, and he indeed wins the veto. Yes, Jeff, we know that you have ALL the power in the house. Both Kalia and Porsche say they now have to talk to Jeff to ensure she doesn’t go home. Daniele also needs to remind Jeff of their deal, but Jeff says he has a big decision to make.

When we return form a commercial break, Kalia is whining to Shelly that she thinks she is going home. Shelly’s plan is to keep pumping up the other side despite the fact that she is aligned with Jeff and Jordan. Kalia thinks she is a bigger threat than Porsche. Um, no. She also believes that Porsche will be taken down in favor of Daniele, but Shelly says she’s going to talk to him.

Jeff indeed then calls Shelly in to talk to himself and Adam. Jeff doesn’t really answer any of their questions, and Jeff claims in the diary room that his decision will “alter the rest of the game”. Shelly says that Kalia is “freaking” because she thinks she is the target. Jeff just smiles.

Porsche now heads into the have-not room where Daniele is whining. Daniele is upset that either she goes, or one of her alliance members. Porsche points out that she has been in second place four times in a row, and it is not fair if she goes home. Oh boo hoo.

Jeff now attempts to talk to Porsche, but her only point is that she doesn’t want to be stuck in the jury house with Brendon. Jeff asks what she wants, and offers a one-week deal. Before he walks away, Jeff again points out that she never talks.

Kalia is then brought upstairs to talk to Jeff, and she says she is “slightly humbled”. She repeats the story about how he was not her target way back in week three, and that she is not coming after him. She also complains that it is not fair that she may leave before somebody who has done nothing in the house (Porsche). She adds that her side’s goal has always been to boot Rachel (ok, why didn’t you do that when you had the chance?). Kalia says in the diary room that she hopes Jeff is still going after “floaters”, which in her mind only includes Porsche.

Now it is Daniele’s turn, and Jeff says he’s “nervous” about their relationship. She wants to boot Porsche, and is open to a final three deal with him and Jordan. She reminds him that she has given his word twice and hasn’t gone against it. If she is put up, though, she is going to fight to stay.

Veto ceremony time, and Jeff says he still is not sure what he is going to do. Rachel also has no idea, but hopes that it Daniele is put up. Porsche hopes that she is taken down because she hasn’t done anything wrong, but Kalia thinks she has a better shot at getting votes than Porsche. Daniele still has hope that Jeff’s word is indeed golden.

With everybody’s script properly read, Jeff brings the house guests inside. He asks Porsche and Kalia why they should stay, and Porsche says very little but how she likes his haircut. Kalia also just kisses his ass, saying if she stays Jeff “will have a lot more red velvet cake”.

Jeff then announces that he is taking down Porsche, and as you may guess he then puts up Daniele. “Let the good times roll”, she responds. “Shocker!” Rachel is beaming, and Jeff says it all is due to trust. “I’m moving forward with the people that want to roll with me”. It all goes back to her attempt to backdoor him in week two, and he talks about Julie Chen’s question about second-guessing that move.

Daniele is pissed, and says that if she remains this will be his “worst game move”. Kalia says this is the worst week ever, since she is still on the block and now next to her best friend. Rachel, of course, is still beaming. “Way to go, Jeff! Daniele needs to learn a lesson that nobody comes between me and my alliance!” Ugh, make the scripts go away! Jeff also ably reads the script, using her pet words “awkward” and “shocker”. (I’m refraining. I really am.)

And we’re done! What did you think of this episode? Who is going home tomorrow? What about the Zingbot? Please leave a comment or three!


Random Question Wednesday

Another Wednesday and a new set of questions! While we wait for the houseguests to decide on what they will or won't do tomorrow night, how about we spend a few minutes getting to know each other a little better? Haha! As always ladies and gentlemen, please post your answers in the Comments. 

  1. Who do you want to be evicted first tomorrow and who do you think is going to be evicted tomorrow - Kalia or Daniele?
  2. What kind of treats would you ask Big Brother for if you were in the house on your birthday?
  3. Would you be open to a showmance if you were in the Big Brother game? Why or why not?
  4. Who do you think has the best chance to win the next HOH, who would they nominate, and who do you think would be evicted?
  5. If you had $500,000 to spend (let's pretend it's tax-free), what would you do with it?
  6. What television shows are you most looking forward to returning (or beginning) in the fall?
  7. What is your favorite place to shop online?
  8. Do you collect anything? If so, what do you collect?
  9. How old is the car that you're currently driving?
  10. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

Have a fabulous Wednesday everybody!