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Sunday
Sep052010

Big Brother, Episode 26 Recap

It really is the home stretch of the twelfth season of Big Brother. Tonight we get nominations, and on Wednesday we get an eviction and the beginning of the last HOH competitions. Can Britney survive against the super amazingly awesome greatest alliance of all time? Can you imagine how hard it was to write that last line without bursting out in hysterics? Der Bergade stinks, and I don’t like them.
Knowing what’s going to happen tonight means that I really wish I had a life and could skip the episode. Yet here I am to once again to witness a poorly designed semi-endurance HOH competition, more silly filler segments, lots of backslapping, and nominations that were obvious the moment the new HOH was crowned.
So let’s begin with the HOH comp. When we left Thursday’s episode, Hayden was clearly ahead. For the conspiracy nuts out there, here’s your ammo. Hayden’s background includes some talent in baseball. This competition involves moving baseball-sized Christmas ornaments up a fence to be placed on a Christmas “tree”. Do you think CBS wants a Hayden victory?
Hayden begins the dialogue by (over) explaining how you must maneuver the ornaments, and Enzo adds that this is the “BIGGEST HOH OF THE SEASON!” Yep, just like it is every single week. Lane says it sucks watching these “three dodos” play, and Hayden and Britney reiterate Enzo’s point. 
After Britney babbles about being alone in the house, we flash back to Ragan’s departure. Of course, Hayden feels great about this move. Suddenly Britney is sad to see the person she belittled all week leave. “I will miss you Ragan”. Enzo takes credit for his eviction, of course. When Ragan walks out, they all celebrate making the final four. “Bergade, final three coming up next”, says Hayden.
Back to the game. Britney is having troubles, as they all fall out of her hands and breaking. “The more I drop, the more nervous I get”, she says. Enzo’s strategy was to be “nice and slow” - just like every other competition this year. Oooh, even Hayden admits that his baseball background is helping him. 
“Snow” is now introduced, which Enzo says has him thrown off. What doesn’t throw him off. Yet he is in second place, but Hayden is way ahead as Britney continues to drop them. “Obviously, my grip is a lot more powerful than I’ve been given credit for…I’ve been called a ball buster before but who knew that I was actually that good at it?” Enzo jokes that something in her background must have made her hate Christmas, while Enzo claims the broken glass reminds him of Newark.
Britney says that after hearing how far ahead Hayden is, she needs to go for speed instead of accuracy. She passes up Enzo, but Hayden has her almost doubled. After “22 years of decorating Christmas trees, I have this thing down.” Britney continues to catch up as Hayden begins also dropping them. “I’m starting to get real nervous.”
She’s still pretty far down, though, as Hayden is only a couple away from winning. His last ornament is up, so he now has to pull the star up…which he does. Hayden is the new HOH! Enzo complains that he just can’t win an HOH, but at least the other Bergade members have his back. Britney is in tears as she realizes that for the first time in this game she doesn’t have anybody to back her up. 
After commercials, Enzo is bragging how “we won four competitions in a row” with the other Bergade members. Since Enzo “started this thing from the beginning”, whenever Hayden wins that means Enzo wins. Oh Lord. “I’m the mastermind of der whole Bergade.” Lane, though, wishes that Britney had won HOH. Enzo continues to brag, saying “we’re the best alliance ever in the history of the game”. No, you’re a voting block, silly. 
Hayden, though, says it sucks that he has to put a Bergade member up against Britney. Cue the sad music, as Britney is doing her best Ragan impression…and we once again have to hear her talk about being the lone outsider. “It’s frustrating, and it’s sad.”
Filler segment number one, as it’s Hayden’s HOH room reveal. Britney isn’t excited, but as always goes through the motions. Lane makes fun of his “girly, foofoo shampoo” that he received. His letter from his father is read, and it’s just like every other letter.
Filler segment number two, as we see old footage of Lane attempting to light the grill. At least Britney looks good as she looks on in disgust. Finally, it lights. 
Filler segment number three, as they’re all amazed that the kitchen table has been shrunk for the final four. Again, we hear them all talk about how great they are, and Lane pretends in the diary room to be much stupider than he really is.
Back to the game, as Lane is sucking up to Hayden. Of course, nobody (outside of Enzo) loves hearing compliments more than Hayden. “I’ve won three HOH’s now. Clearly, I’m one of the best competitors in the house, if not the best competitor. Nobody’s going to want to take me to the final two because they think I’ll beat them. I‘m going to do anything I can to change that.” He does that by telling Lane that from the very beginning he’s the person he wants in the finals with. Lane admits in the diary room that at this point he’ll say whatever it takes to win.
He moves on to Enzo with this strategy. “I’m making deals with everybody this week to make sure my butt is safe.” Smart move on his part, by saying that he’ll let Enzo win if he promises to take him. Yes, the only way that Enzo can win anything! He adds that Enzo would beat him in the final two.
Filler segment number four. Three of them are in the kitchen as the lockdown doors are raised. Outside, there’s fake coins, and a giant pig. This is a luxury competition worth $10,00, which makes Lane happy because “do you know how many cases of beer I can buy with that? Plus muscle milk? This is heaven.” Nice job on reading the cue cards, Lane.
The game involves the coins. They all are given time to hide their coin in the house, and the person whose coin is the last to be found wins the money. Enzo says “this is serious”, and hides his coin in the decorations on the wall. Hayden puts his in an empty box of cereal. “Genius”, he says. Lane decides to put his coin under the recycling bin, because not only do the others never empty the garbage they  probably have never even heard of the recycling bin. Britney has a similar thought, and puts it in a cereal box that’s in the garbage can, and dumps some garbage on top of it.
They all rush into the house to find these coins, and completely tear apart the house. Hayden does go right to the garbage and dumps it in the backyard, but decides there’s nothing in it. Hayden also knocks over a vase as he’s tearing apart the living room. He’s also worried that everybody is looking in the area where he hid his. She even glosses over his, and Enzo notices that Hayden is close to his coin. 
Enzo finds Hayden’s cereal box, so the “meow meow” knocks him out. “Enzo finally manages to do something right in this competitions”, jokes Hayden. Both Lane and Enzo say their strategy is to just keep looking around where their coin is located. 
Oh God, this segment is going on way too long…and the house guests are as bored as we are. The boys decide to go through the trash again, which makes Britney nervous…yet they find nothing. At the same time, Britney is close to nabbing Lane’s before finally finding Enzo’s. “I really feel like throwing Fruit Loops at her right now”, he says.
Lane is now determined to win, but Britney is again in the recycling bin area. She moves on, though, as she attempts to get him to give her hints as to where it’s at. She continues to snoop around the area, and finally nabs Lane’s coin. Lane is pissed. “She’s going to use that for lipstick and leggings!” Enzo adds that she just added another target on her back. Hmmm, kind of like your TV, or Hayden’s Hawaii trip.
Filler segment number five. Britney is complaining how everybody does nothing but sleep, so she decides to start a pillow fight. Well, at least she looks cute in he little pink shorts. She starts in on Hayden first, and Enzo is quickly added to the silliness. 
Filler segment number six, as Britney is now complaining to Lane about how she wants to go home and see her fiance. Hmmm, maybe that’s the wrong person for this conversation. Lane says in the diary room that he knows that Nick is not the one for her, as she needs a rough, tough guy like himself. “You like girly guys”, he needles her. “Like compared to me.” She says she likes to have guys that just lay there and tell them how pretty she is, or “how good my outfit looks on me”. Lane is a “real man”, but he’d never send flowers or cards. “We’re going to the bar. We’ll have a steak. We’ll give you like some girly shot. You take a couple of those, and you won’t be thinking of roses or tulips any longer.”
OK, back to the game. Hayden is telling Enzo that they have to get Britney out because she’ll win against any of them. “We’re going to look like shit if Britney wins this game”, replies Enzo. They both agree that it was a smart move of Lane to not put up Britney last week. Out of the blue, Hayden throws out the idea of putting out Lane instead of Britney. Enzo appears to love this idea, just as he did when they did that to Matt. Hayden says that they can beat her in the final round of HOH’s. Could Britney be saved? (The answer to anybody with any knowledge of what is going on will say no.)
After commercials, Hayden is hanging out with Britney just before the nominations. Hayden explains that he still has to act cool with her just in case she wins POV. It’s a big one that she has to win, she says, but Hayden points out that she has won some money. “I’d rather be here than win $10,000”, she explains.
It’s now nomination time, and despite what everybody says there’s no secret who is going up…and I’m not just talking about Britney. Lane claims that he has “no idea” who is going up, but shortly before the ceremony he actually volunteered to go up. But we still need to go through the process.
The key is pulled, and it obviously belongs to Enzo. Hayden gives a nothing speech about how he loves them all. Britney’s reaction is about how she has to “take on all these guys and win the veto”. Lane still claims that his best shot to win is against Britney in the finals, so he has to win veto, save himself, and vote out Enzo. Oh really? Enzo adds to the fake drama by saying that if he doesn’t win the veto he’s probably going home. “There’s no more guarantees in this game.”
So that’s it. What did you think of the episode? Were you as bored by the filler as I was? Does the conversation about picking Britney over Lane mean anything at all? (No is my answer.) 
Saturday
Sep042010

The Big Reveal

Der Bergade decided it's time to let Britney in on the most amazing, awesome group of men in the history of Big Brother. Hayden even changed clothes for the occasion, but before they could let her know Enzo sent him downstairs for a "Bergade of beer". Oh yeah, and he also argued that a POV victory is more impressive than a HOH win because "you're fighting for your life, yo". All three are almost giddy in the anticipation of what they believe is the TV moment of the year.

Enzo really can't wait to let her know. He's hinting over and over, asking Britney who she thinks were in alliances. He first admitted to being in an alliance with Matt, starting on day two, and "there were too other people, too". Britney wants to know who, so Enzo asks Lane. Finally, he just outs the whole story. "BG. No GB's for the BG." When Britney asked why they evicted Matt, she's told that they had to do it because he flipped.

"Personally, for me, I think it's greatness", claims Enzo. Britney says that she "knew" they had an alliance, but she didn't know they were called Der Bergade. And it's already getting boring, as Enzo continues to brag about how they're the greatest alliance ever. 

The big reaction they were looking for is just happening, as Britney isn't really surprised except for their turning against Matt. Enzo keeps going on about how they just didn't trust the guy who did the vast majority of their dirty work.

It's really not that interesting, but look for this segment on the opening of Wednesday's eviction show.

 

 

Saturday
Sep042010

Bye Bye Brit

Hayden won veto. The competition was apparently about past house guests, and had something to do with stacking items. Brit, who earlier had a bit of a tiff with Lane, knows it doesn't look good. As you may expect, Enzo is still going on and on about how Der Bergade are the greatest alliance in Big Brother history. Um, no.

Friday
Sep032010

Hayden's Nominations

No surprise here, as it's Britney and Lane. A few minutes before the feeds went to trivia, Lane volunteered as he's safe no matter what. Plus, it takes him out of the big decision to choose between Britney and Enzo...unless he wins POV. Will he throw it?