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Thursday
Sep092010

Big Brother, Episode 28 Recap

When we left last night’s episode of Big Brother, the three remaining members of Der Bergade were being slammed into two (cushioned) walls. Tonight we get to see the results of this competition, along with the second part of the final HOH.
Feed viewers, of course, already know the results but unfortunately didn’t get to witness the pleasure of watching these “half-dodo’s” slamming back and forth. It’s really a crime, actually, especially which became especially infuriating when the feeds did return in time for Showtime’s BBAD last night. Instead of the thrill of seeing the trio suffering, we got to watch Enzo get a haircut and shave. Not just one shave, either. For some reason, Enzo shaves multiple times and we got the pleasure(?) of seeing every slice of the blade.
Enough whining, I guess. Let’s finally start the second to last episode (I‘m assuming Sunday is a clip show). We start off with the opening footage of the competition, and Hayden says that as much as he loves the other two, Der Bergade is “now dead. It’s every man for himself for a half million dollars. I’m going to slit their throats, stab them in the back, do what I need to do to take them down.”
Enzo is screaming throughout the game, and adds that he just has to win because neither will take him to the final two. “In their minds, I’m very popular in the jury house right now.” Lane complains that he’s on his own with Britney gone, and he has to hang on and win. Enzo asks him how he thinks Britney would have done in this competition, which leads us to…
…a replay of Britney’s eviction. Lane is sad because she was “funny. She was quirky. She was joke-y. It’s like a family member walking out those doors.” The boys all celebrate after her departure, and Enzo brags how you “couldn’t have written a better script then this”.
Back to the game, and Enzo says it’s the “funniest challenge of the season”. He admits that it didn’t exactly feel great, and Hayden agrees. “After awhile, hitting the wall felt like a frickin’ car wreck without the car”. 
“Grenade number two” now comes into play with the introduction of a waterfall. Enzo notes that the rope is getting wet, which makes it harder to hang on. Hmmm, I wonder who drops first. Enzo also says that part of his strategy is to use his feet to cushion the hits, “but now my little boys are squished”. Yuck! “I may not even have kids after this!”
Lane compares it to a “Texas bar fight”, which is dumb even for his standards. Enzo says that thinking of his family is keeping him in the game, but of course he drops right after that at the nineteen minute mark. “These competitions just make me look weak.” Well, yeah. He adds that he just HAS to win the next two comps. Hayden laughs at how ridiculous Enzo is in these comps.
Meanwhile, Lane starts a conversation about a deal, but Hayden claims that there’s no way either of them will take him to the finals because he’ll clearly win. Lane counters in the diary room that there’s no way he’s making a deal with anybody at this point. Enzo, though, went inside to make some pizza and soup. “I deserve that.”
We’re over an hour into the game at this point, and Hayden complains that it’s “unbearable”. Enzo walks out with his meal, and Lane is pissed. “Enzo, if I could move my lower half right now I’d crawl to you and slap you.” 
It’s just under two hours now, and Hayden says he could drop at any time. But he sees that Lane is close to dropping. Lane claims that “pain is a mental thing” and goes on a really weird rant about how he’s a man. Finally, Lane drops. Hayden has won the first part of the HOH! As you may expect, Lane is pissed and Hayden is excited. 
After a commercial break, Julie interviews the final three. She asks Enzo how Der Bergade pulled it off, and he says he doesn’t even know why he’s still around. Lane is then asked how hard it was to keep the alliance a secret. “Really, really hard.” Good one. Britney’s knowledge of the alliance is the question for Hayden. Is he worried about the jury’s reaction? His answer is nonsensical. Julie then concludes by describing how the final week will work out.
Oh boy, it’s time to meet Enzo’s family. A clip is shown of Enzo complaining about how bad he’s performed in the competitions, and Hayden saying that his wife would yell at him to suck it up. We then head to Enzo’s house, and his wife is gorgeous! She talks about how he’s so funny that she now has “laugh lines”, and more clips of Enzo talking about his family are shown. The netire clan then watches him dance, and the wife says he’s a mama’s boy. Cue the stereotypical Italian mother talking about how funny her son is. Yes, they love the penguin suit segment, and his wife bought their daughter a penguin toy. 
Of course, they have to show Enzo’s lone victory, and he gets a standing ovation. Enzo’s wife says that he’s so great that the others didn’t even realize they were being manipulated. “I think he’s making Jersey proud”, adds his mother.
Jury house time!!! Why oh why couldn’t there be full-time cameras in that house? The four are hanging out in the living room, and Kathy asks who they think will be joining them. Matt says he believes it will be Hayden. Kathy says she’s secluded herself from Matt because she’s still pissed at Matt’s lie. “I think the more time I spend thinking about it the more upset I get.’
Brendon says there’s a theme to this season, and Rachel finishes his sentence by saying it’s “taking out the competitors”. Kathy says that means it’s Ragan coming next, and Rachel asks if he was a competitor. Brendon points out that Ragan did win two vetoes. Matt doesn’t want Ragan to be next because not only is he a competitor but he doesn’t want to admit the lie.
Ragan then walks in, saying “another showmance in the jury house”. He even hugs Rachel, saying he “even got love for you”. Rachel is elated, and hopes that he “pushes my buttons this week”. The DVD of the week is then shown, and Matt says that the veto comp should have “catered” to him with the Broadway-ish music. Kathy loves when the CD bounces and hits Enzo. 
The actual eviction is shown, and Matt asks if he could talk to him outside. “Is this going to be like a kissing conversation?” “Might be”, Matt responds. Ha! He spills the beans with Rachel watching through the window, and Ragan responds by saying “that’s pretty hardcore…I have nothing to say. I’m shellshocked right now.” He says to the camera that it’s “catastrophic” and that “a boundary was crossed”. Ragan sits alone, saying he’s feeling “numb” just like when Lucy pulls the football away from Charlie Brown. “I felt that Matt was somebody I could trust.”
Everybody eventually joins Ragan, and Brendon actually plays peacemaker. “It was hard for me when Matt told me because I’m in the medical field fighting cancer.” Ragan then confesses that lied about his job, and Rachel asks if his PHD in communication helped him. Ragan says “this game isn’t a game about book smarts. It’s a game about how you interact with people.” Rachel immediately takes that as a slag against her. “Do you think I played a bad social game?” Guess how Ragan answered. 
He tells her that she “wears your heart on your sleeves”, which she claims is a good thing. “It is, but not in the game of big brother.” Rachel responds by asking if he’s emotional, and Ragan says they were both emotional. Rachel says that then Ragan should have understood why she was upset at him, and the fight starts. He says he was pissed at her “behavior, and I don’t say that form a hateful place…since you left the house, nobody has raised their voice against each other.”
Matt is chuckling in the background as this escalates, and Ragan attempts to end the conversation. Rachel won’t give it up, though, complaining that Ragan believes she’s the cause of every problem in the house. “You are, Rachel!” Oh God, this just goes around and around before Rachel storms off. Um, that segment wasn’t as great as I had hoped.
Thankfully, it’s now time for the second part of the HOH competition. Lane is standing outside, and the game is called “it’s alive”. It’s the morph contest, with two pictures combined to look like Frankenstein. He has two minutes to put the names to the faces, and the winner is the person who gets the most correct pictures. A tie goes to the fastest competitor. (Ragan would have excelled at this one with all the prep he did the week he was eliminated.) At the 1:14 mark, Lane hits the button, and he has all five pictures correctly placed. 
It’s now Enzo’s turn, who decides to individually take off the screens (unlike Lane, who pulled them all off first). He struggles on one, and moves on to another. It’s not looking good for him, as he moves at his customary leisurely pace. The 1:13 mark passes, so Lane has officially won, which means that both Lane and Hayden are going to hear a lot of campaigning for the next six days. At 1:43 Enzo hits the button, and he also has them all correctly placed.
After commercials, Julie informs the house of the results. She tells them that both of them correctly identified all five photos, and Lane is announced as the victor. Lane is asked how he feels. “I feel sweaty, numb, and can’t walk.” He says that he’ll be healed by the finale night. Enzo is asked about how it feels to have to rely on one of the others to make it to the finals, and he admits it “sucks”. With that, Julie says goodbye to Der Bergade, and all of us. See you on finale night!!!

 

Thursday
Sep092010

Hayden Wins Part I - Part II Live Tonight

Enzo Spies On Lane And HaydenThe feeds did come back @ 9pm BB time last night and after 45 minutes of watching Enzo get his hair cut, we deduced that Hayden must have won the previous days competition when Lane remarked that he hasn't seen Enzo studying while he himself was going over all previous HoH's, POV winners, etc.

Tonights show is supposed to be live and I would expect to see the entire "Part II" played out before the end of the episode.

Whats left you might ask?

Inside the house I bet things get a little tense as both Enzo and Lane seem to want to take Hayden to the final two and want him to take them.  Hayden told Lane last night that the Diary Room was implying to him he might be better off taking Enzo to the final two if he were to win.  We even saw Enzo spy on Hayden and Lane from the bathroom - paranoid? 

They will all be in the house together for another week yet as it sounds like just like last year - the 3rd place person will be evicted on finale night.

So the three guys won't have anything game related to do until next Wednesday. 

Sundays show will most likely be a "Best of the Season" like last year. 

Wednesday's show will have the Part III, eviction, jury questions and voting (and much more of course).

Oh and the word on the street is that there will be a BB13 - only question to be answered is will it be "All Stars" or one more regular season - perhaps the Season of Pandora?

The Big Brother Live Feeds are on 24 hours - 7 days a week.  Click here to get a free trial of the live feeds if you want to watch the house guests for yourself!

Watch  Big Brother 12 on SuperPass!

Wednesday
Sep082010

Big Brother, Episode 27 Recap

The word for the night is “anger”. Anger for a bad season, bad cast, bad competitions, bad editing, and bad behavior (and not the good kind of bad behavior). Now we can add one more items to be angry about - the dimwitted decision of CBS to block the feeds for the past 36 hours.
The official reason for this idiotic move was so nobody would know what happens in the first of three final HOH competitions, making tonight and tomorrow’s episodes that much more successful in the ratings. FAILDOZER! It wasn’t long after last night’s taping that we were told exactly what happened. Sure, we don’t know the final outcome of that competition, but we do know who was evicted and the makeup of that event. 
Even if we had been able to watch the action on the feeds, we would have still tuned in. The sorts of people who actually put money down to watch this stuff are the real fans. We watch the feeds AND watch the actual show. What is especially aggravating is that at this time of year the competitions are the only things worth viewing on the feeds. The social part of the game is over, and the remaining handful of people just spend most of their time sleeping or laying around. 
With that rant out of the way, it’s time to view the “live” show…and by live I actually mean taped last night. As always, the show commences with the reactions to Hayden’s nominations of Lane and Britney. Enzo notes that “it’s weird to see only one key in there, man”. He adds in the diary room that he feels completely safe with Hayden, who says that they “really need to be broken apart”. Although they had “flirted” with the idea of keeping Britney, “it’s Der Bergade to the end”. Britney says that it’s all about winning the POV. Lane adds that it’s tough to be next to Britney, but he cares the most about making it himself. Yet, he adds “Britney, do good in the POV!”
Lane heads up into the HOH, and Hayden is concerned that he may be mad at him. He also says that it doesn’t mean anything that he put him up instead of Enzo. “I think we have a better shot at beating Enzo than her in the end.” Lane agrees. “The jury just can’t help but give her the money if she makes it to the end.” Lane claims that he still wants Britney in the finals, but will say anything to Hayden to save himself.
Now Der Bergade is sitting outside talking about how big this upcoming competition will be. Enzo knows that if Britney wins the veto, he will be going home. “I will be devastated.” Lane jokes that he’s afraid to leave them alone but he wants to take a shower. He then does walk away, and Enzo kisses up to Hayden. The hope is that Lane stays true to Der Bergade so that it’s 3 - 1 against Britney. Enzo notes that Lane is safe no matter what happens in the competition. 
It’s now Britney’s turn to kiss Hayden’s ass as she heads up to the HOH to talk to Hayden. Both of them attempt to claim that nobody will take them to the finals. Britney says that if Enzo makes the final two he’ll win “unanimously”. She admits in the diary room that she’s attempting to work the boys, and talks about the evicted people who supposedly hate her. “I think I’m the worst person to get rid of.” Hayden CLAIMS to be giving serious thought to what she’s saying. Yeah, right.
After a commercial break, it’s time for the POV competition, which involves placing a poster of houseguests in between trivia about two competitors. They all talk about the importance of this competition, with Lane once again saying that he hopes that Britney wins. Lane, of course, doesn’t even remember who he evicted the previous week, while Enzo, not surprisingly, says he’s going slow so he can think it through. For such an important game, it’s pretty boring to watch.
Britney’s plan is to lay out all the posters in the correct sequence, and then insert them into the wall. Enzo and Hayden both appear to be close to finishing, but Enzo’s answers are not correct. Hayden, though, finishes and wins! Lane, meanwhile, does not have a single card in place.
Britney somehow believes that she still has a chance even though she lost. Enzo celebrates that Der Bergade is the final three, and Lane now says he has to move away from Britney and completely join his Bergade pals. “I have to make them believe that I don’t want Britney in the final three.”
With the POV completed, it’s time for this year’s Keesha moment. Der Bergade is celebrating Hayden’s victory, and they decide it’s time to inform Britney of the MOST AWESOME, AMAZING ALLIANCE IN BIG BROTHER HISTORY! Hayden justifies it by saying Britney has a “right” to know about it, but Lane is not real happy about this plan (but can’t express this to his buddies).
Later in the evening, Britney heads into the HOH and Enzo starts the ball rolling. After joking around a bit, he lets the cat out of the bag while Hayden is downstairs pacing. Once Hayden returns, Britney asks if she‘s definitely going home, and Hayden says he‘s not going to use the veto. At this point, a previously kind of bored Britney finally breaks down and leaves the room. “I just got completely played“, she says in the diary room. “The whole time I‘m thinking that they want to send Enzo home, and the whole time it was crap.” (For the full story, read my post from this weekend.)
She’s especially pissed that Lane has been lying to her “the entire time. I only thought Lane was my friend. He’s not my friend. Lane doesn’t care if I’m alive or dead. All I am is just another idiot who is a bigger part of his bigger scheme. I don’t want to talk to Lane. I don’t want to talk to Enzo, and I don‘t want to talk to Hayden. I don’t want to talk to any of them. It will make me sick to vote for any of them.”
Lane gets a bit of shit from Enzo as he leaves the HOH to attempt to talk to Britney. In the diary room, he says that seeing “Britney hurt that bad is like watching one of my good dogs die. It crushed me. The hardest thing about everything is that I genuinely wanted to take her to the final two. I can’t tell her now because that puts me in a bind between Der Bergade now. I have to look after myself now.” He attempts to talk to Britney, but she says she just wants to go to bed. “I never lied to you”, he says. “It’s just a game”, she replies. “I never wanted this, and I never played you”, Lane adds before leaving the room.
POV meeting/eviction time now. After the last episode, this is a wasted exercise as Hayden obviously doesn’t use the POV. Lane gets to make the first final plea, and he babbles to his friends and family and kisses Der Bergade member’s asses before addressing Britney. “You are 100% the nicest, kindest lady I’ve ever been around. I feel blessed to have met you and become your friend.” Britney then stands and also says hi to all of her friends (but not her fiancee) before saying she also loves all of her fellow houseguests. “If I couldn’t be an original member of Der Bergade, I’m at least proud to be a casualty of Der Bergade.”
Enzo then stands and obviously evicts Britney after talking nonsense for a couple of minutes. Oh, and it was “respect’ that caused them to reveal Der Bergade to her. Yeah, right. Damn, she looks fantastic as she walks to meet Julie!
Julie starts the questioning about the “love and respect” in her final plea. She says that she’s upset but that “I really do love them!” She admits she didn’t love them at revelation time because “in one moment everything you worked for all summer is over like that”. Julie then asks why she didn’t believe Ragan’s suspicions about the alliance weeks ago, and she says that she also felt close to them. She does forgive Lane, saying his “intentions were good.  I think that if he could have done it the way he wanted to we would be in the final two together. I don’t think he really wanted me to be evicted this week.’
Final message time. Hayden claims that he “didn’t want to do this” to her. Enzo says that it’s really hard for him because he doesn’t want to see any crying. Lane says that “being in this house without you is going to be horrible…I’m going to miss everything about you. You were funny. You were perfect to talk to. Who am I going to aggravate now? I’m going to miss everything. It’s going to be a big, big empty house without you…I wanted to take you to the final two but Hayden won HOH and it was out of my  hands”. Britney tears up a bit during this portion, but makes a great face when Julie reminds her that she’s going to join Rachel in the jury house. 
With Britney gone, it’s time to start the first part of the final HOH. “Hello Bergade”, says Julie as she describes “Rumble In the Big Brother Jungle” competition. The three are hanging on vines that sway back and forth into two “walls”. “Meow meow” yells Enzo as they hit for the second time. How much you wanna bet he’s the first one out?
Before the show ends, Julie says that not only will we see part two of the final HOH tomorrow, we’ll see Ragan’s reaction to Matt’s lie. She then informs the contestants it’s “time for a Bergade” as a “waterfall” is now added to their game. With that, the show ends. See you tomorrow!
Wednesday
Sep082010

Lane's Eight Second Game

My BB twitter has been dominated today by a disgusting conversation about an "eight-second game" that Lane described to the other three this past weekend. After reading the transcript (and not having anything else to watch with the feeds still blocked), I hit the flashback button to this past Sunday night/Monday morning right at midnight to see if this awful story was indeed true. It is. 

Here's the transcript, copied from http://survivorsucks.com/sreply/6453044/t/MBP-Meet--Competition---Life---Fat-Lane-aka-MBB.html:

Enzo : Oh yeah, me and wifey are definitely getting our own room. We gotta do our own thing. 
Lane : You ever play the.. 8 second game with her? 
(Hayden and Britney both simultaneously bow their heads and lower their eyes.)
Enzo : What's the 8 second game? 
Britney : (with zero enthusiasm) Oh yeah, that sounds like fun. 
Lane : It's tradition. 
Britney : Not if it happened to me. 
Enzo : What do you do? 
Hayden : Didn't Lane explain it the other night? 
Enzo : (shakes head no) You gotta drop.. Oh.. The 8 second game, when you pull your pants down and.. uh.. I forgot. What is it, yo? What's 8 seconds? 
Lane : 4 of your buddies bring a girl back.. 
Enzo : Oh, ok. 
Lane : ...and then you get her in the bed, and all of us are waitin' at the door, and we bust in on ya, and you gotta hold the girl down for 8 seconds. 
Enzo : Oh! 
Lane : You know, cuz the girl's tryin' to squirm and tryin' to get under the covers.. 
Enzo : Oh shit. I'm definitely gonna do that. 
Lane : 8 second ___ 
Enzo : Oh! I wanna do that. You just hold her down? Down? 
Lane : Yeah.

Enzo : Isn't that rape? 

Lane : hahahaha 
Enzo : What the fuck is that, yo? Whatta you doin', yo? 
Enzo : You guys in the South.. I don't know, yo. 
Britney : Like, we'll do it to you and Joella. 
(Enzo's reaction suggests not.)
Britney : We'll just bust in, while we know you guys are doin' it... 
Lane : They wont even squirm. 
Britney : And then you have to hold her down for 8 seconds, while she's tryin' to get away, so we can't see her. 
Enzo : Oh, I hold her down? 
Britney : mm hmm 
Lane : Like, if you were doin' her doggie style, that's the best, and we bust in, and you're like ridin' her.. 
Enzo : mm 
Lane : ..and you gotta hold her for 8 seconds.. 
Britney : You can't let her escape. 
Lane : ..while she squirms away. 
Enzo : Oooh, shit. Yeah, let's not do that to me. 
Lane : hehehehe 
Enzo : We'll go do that to someone else. 
Lane : hehehe.. Let's not do that to me. 
Britney : One of Lane's friends, perhaps. 
Enzo : That's like semi-rape though... You're in the chick, she's tryin' to get away.. 
Lane : hehehe 
Enzo : Yo, I ain't... 
Lane : You gotta do everything you can.. 
Enzo : Shit. 
Lane : Just bear hug her.. 
Lane : You're not gonna see her the next day though.. She's not gonna talk to you. 
Enzo : Nah.. I'd be divorced. I can't do that. 
Lane : She has to ride back with you. 
Britney : If that happened to me, I would kill myself. 
Lane : It's all fun and games.

Classy, Lane. Up to this point, he was the only member of Der Bergade I could handle. No more. I guess I'm sort of rooting for Hayden now.