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Wednesday
Sep102014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 35 Results

Caleb won HOH after the Wednesday live show, and this time it counts. That is the one and only thing which happened during the last six days which wasn't meaningless, insulting drivel.

By saving the "Rewind" twist for this late in a season so thoroughly dominated by one house guest who has never even been nominated, CBS pretty much hocked a loogie at all Big Brother fans, both new and long-time. Why would you tell viewers in advance that there will be absolutely nothing happening for a week which will affect the game's outcome?

Do you think the remaining house guests are interesting enough to watch just because it's fun and we like them? It isn't and we don't.

Why should anybody have bothered to watch these last Sunday and Tuesday episodes? Honestly, why should anybody bother to watch any more #BB16 at all. Except maybe the finale.

Executive producer Allison Grodner, you should be ashamed! The international editions of Big Brother are so much more imaginitive and entertaining than your show. I'm still a newbie ... but determining that, say, Big Brother Australia is superior to the CBS version requires only to watch one episode on-line. Your "most twisted season ever" has been exactly the opposite. Dull, predictable, boring. You re-use so many competitions from previous years that the #BB16 house guests know exactly what's coming. The "Rewind" twist might have stirred things up, but you brought it on about four weeks too late.

Oh, and please skip the gimmicky former house guest interviews and engagements. You wouldn't need filler if your formula wasn't broken!

By the way, this isn't Scott writing this -- it's John. My fellow contributors Scott and Ash are the "A team" around here. But what's left of this season is not deserving of the efforts of Big Brother Gossip's starting players. They have more than earned a respite from this nonsense.

Déjà vu all over again.So I'm just providing the results of the Wednesday live episode, not a play-by-play recap like Scott writes. In a nutshell, here's what happened:

  • Julie called for a live eviction vote. But just as Derrick was about to enter the Diary Room, a klaxon sounded and the lights flashed.
  • Julie explained to the house guests that the last week was meaningless, Victoria and Cody were no longer on the block, and the game would rewind to last Thursday's HOH competition ... which would be repeated. The very same "Seed Saw" comp. Derrick would again not be eligible to compete (since he was outgoing HOH last time around).
  • Cody will have to wear the dino-costume again since he was still wearing it a week ago.
  • The repeat "Seed Saw" competition began during the live show and was in progress as the episode ended. When the live feeds came back about 45 minutes later, we determined that Caleb won HOH.

Upcoming schedule:

Sunday's episode (Sep. 14, 2014) starts at 8:30p.

Next Tuesday (Sep. 16), there be a special eviction episode. (It won't be live.)

Next Wednesday (Sep. 17) will be live with another eviction.

There will be an episode on Friday (Sep. 19) but no episode the following Sunday (Sep. 21).

The only thing left after that is the live season finale on Wednesday (Sep. 24) at 9:30p.

If #BB15 last year when I was new had been as much of a yawn-fest and as poorly-produced as #BB16, would I have stuck around? Hell no! I am astonished that the ratings have apparently held up this year. It is disheartening, to say the least. I hope that Grodner (or some future executive producer) changes the formula before the show tanks ... because it will, sooner rather than later. And ... that's all I've got. Comments welcome below (or don't bother, since this season just isn't worth it) or @uselesstraffic.

Tuesday
Sep092014

Big Brother 16 Recaps: An Apology

Just a quick note here to let you guys know that there will not be recaps tonight, tomorrow, and probably next Sunday. No, I haven't given up on the season. There's a couple of reasons why this is happening.

Given my success in predicting Sunday's episode, I gave some thought about returning to that gimmick for the next two shows. As I said on Sunday, this week doesn't matter anyway thanks to that "rewind" button. Tonight will include a meaningless veto comp, speculation on the button, and the worst Team America mission ever. Tomorrow night will include meaningless game talk from the nominees, some jury house footage, a visit from a dog, and Julie's announcement that the week didn't count. A new HOH will be played, which may or may not end before the episode's conclusion.

Notice I didn't say there would be an eviction tomorrow night. As many of us have speculated on twitter, it appears that Julie's announcement will come right after the halfway mark of the broadcast. There's not enough time to run through a new HOH, noms, Veto, and eviction. Just like on Big Brother 14 when the coaches voted to become players, we will go almost another week before the next eviction.

This allows the show to carry on the tradition of a "surprise" eviction to go from five players to four next Tuesday, which will probably be filmed on Monday. I know, this sucks, but they do this because it's hard to fill those last few episodes. With jury footage and the dog, they have enough material to make it through tomorrow's broadcast. 

Back to my reason for no recaps, though. I honestly just don't have time. This is a big week for me, as I'm travelling to Minneapolis to see the Replacements this Saturday. Besides the show, I'm cohosting a benefit party on Friday night for former Replacements guitarist Slim Dunlap, who suffered a stroke two years ago. Some of this party will be broadcast on my live internet radio show, Live Ledge, on realpunkradio.com on Friday night from 7-9 pn ET. Due to this party, I have to break down my little homemade broadcast studio to haul with me on this trip. Because of this, along with other obligations, I don't have time to devote to these two episodes that don't really matter anyway. I'll be driving back on Sunday, but may not make it back in time for that night's episode. (Oh yeah, and there won't be a live Big Brother Gossip Show this Saturday, but Mike is working on our own version of a "best of" recording.)

I apologize for missing these episodes, but this concert is something that I've been waiting for since they broke up in 1991. I'll be back for the last handful of shows, and our podcast's season finale on September 20! 

Monday
Sep082014

New air times for remaining Big Brother 16 episodes

(This schedule was updated with new info on Wednesday, September 10.)

Tuesday and Friday episodes of Big Brother? Yes -- mark your calendars! The premiere of Thursday Night Football on CBS and the fall television season in general mean changes are coming to the Big Brother 16 television schedule for the remainder of the season. Here are the air dates that are confirmed (except as noted) at CBS.com:

Tuesday, September 9, 2014, 8:00p Eastern & Pacific.

Wednesday, September 10, 8:00p Eastern (live) & Pacific (tape-delayed). House guests will start a live vote to evict either Cody or Victoria, but Julie will interrupt the vote. She will reveal to the house guests that their pressing of "Rewind Button" meant the last week's game actions are null and void.

Thursday, September 11: No Big Brother episode!

Sunday, September 14, 8:30p Eastern & Pacific. Notice the delayed start! CBS has built in a delayed prime time due to afternoon football coverage.

Tuesday, September 16, 8:00p Eastern & Pacific. (Julie announced during the Wednesday, September 10 show that an eviction would take place during this episode, which will not be live.)

Wednesday, September 17, 8:00p Eastern (live) & Pacific (tape-delayed). This will be a live eviction episode. (Second eviction of the week.)

Thursday, September 18: No Big Brother episode!

Friday, September 19, 8:00p Eastern & Pacific. Yes, really, a Friday episode! They're advancing what would have been the Sunday episode by two days. (Seriously -- if you don't believe me, go to the Schedule page at CBS.com and look for yourself. I'm not makin' this stuff up.)

Sunday, September 21: No Big Brother episode! The time slot goes to the series premiere of "Madam Secretary."

Tuesday, September 23, 8:00p. No episode. (Confirmed via the Schedule page at CBS.com.)

Wednesday, September 24, 9:30p Eastern (live) & Pacific (tape-delayed). Big Brother 16's 90-minute live season finale.

That's the new schedule. Adjust your DVRs if you think any of this remaining #ExpectTheExpected season is still worth watching. The "Rewind" twist was a boneheaded "We're giving you permission not to bother watching the live feeds or TV shows for a week" move by producers. If they had given us this twist three or four weeks ago, it might actually have generated some worthwhile drama. Why on earth did the producers wait until now? Victoria became and remained Frankie's target in his meaningless HOH and POV wins. Unless she pulls off a rare comp win, it's entirely possible that Victoria will still be the one who leaves the house this Wednesday night, which would render this nonsensical twist even more meaningless. Yes, even as our Newbie Desk writer, I'm hating this stuff as much as veteran fans. But enough of my rant. Post your own in the comments below or @uselesstraffic.

Sunday
Sep072014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 33 Recap (Without Viewing)

Sorry, folks, but this is another episode that I'm skipping. I'm assuming that I'm not alone. Besides the premiere of another reality show on another network, the mysterious button makes anything that happens this week unnecessary. (Plus, I refuse to watch Jeff and Jordan. Sorry cat ladies.)

That doesn't mean that I can't recap, though. Production has been so predictable in recent years, that I bet that I'm close to perfect in this outline of tonight's show:

1. The show starts off with a look back at double eviction night. Christine's boos are discussed by the house, and Cody has a diary room segment where he's concerned about what that means about his popularity. Frankie, of course, will have plenty to say about it.

2. The house looks at the mysterious button in the have-not room, and they all have diary room segments about what they think it means. Victoria says something completely ridiculous, Derrick worries about his game, and Caleb believes it could mean prizes and fame. Frankie again makes it all about him.

3. The HOH competition, won by Frankie. We all know how this works. Instructions are read to the house, and then there are diary room segments where the rules are explained again. They all talk about how it's so important that they win this competition. After Frankie wins, he goes nuts for the camera, and also in the diary room. 

4. More discussion on the button before the house decides to push it. Frankie again makes it all about him, and ensures maximum camera time.

5. Jeff and Jordan's prearranged engagement. Excuse me while I vomit. Jordan pretends to be surprised, even though it was announced on Thursday's show that they had a big announcement. Cody thinks they did it on Big Brother because they love the cast so much, Caleb believes that it's because they want him to sing, Derrick worries how this will affect his game (I'm joking), and Frankie is over the top in his excitement. 

6. A few minutes of nonsensical game talk, including Derrick again lecturing the viewers on his mastery of directing the conversations. Frankie talks about targetting a big player.

7. Frankie nominates Victoria and Cody, dressed outrageously and peppered with sexual innuendo. The audience yawns, and turns back to either Sunday Night Football or Utopia.

The end.