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Entries in April (84)

Wednesday
Aug132008

April Tells Ollie Her Secrets

Not surprising, but April has slept with some professional athletes. She also recently had a DUI, and drives with a breathalyzer attachment.

Ollie's big sin is that he has slept with a married woman. This confession leads to a fight, because April is perfect.

Tuesday
Aug122008

April's Been In A Movie


We've already heard about Michelle and Keesha's supposed movie career, but April is now using her exploits to "prove" how down to earth she is. She's been in a blockbuster movie that "everybody" has seen; has been in a seven-page spread in a sports magazine; and has done a ton of commercials. Plus, she's now the star of the "best season ever" of Big Brother. And who knows, "P. Diddy may be a huge fan". I can't wait until she's out of the house and learns the truth.

Tuesday
Aug122008

"We Could Go Back To The Back Side"



Um April, we already know you like it that way. Why does she continue to set me up like that? So, the brain thrust's great idea is to bring Libra into the new version of the top-secret super gigantic alliance. April believes they'll again be anonymous since Libra is a "giant target". How dare she make fun of Libra's weight like that. They're way too proud of themselves.

Sunday
Aug102008

Conversations With April


If you ever see April on the feeds or Showtime, there's no reason not to mute. Just refer back to this post, as this is EVERY conversation that she has with Ollie (outside of demanding where Ollie deposits some bodily fluids):

April: OMG, can you believe Keesha is such a bitch?

Ollie: Mmmm-hmmmm.

April: I've been nothing but sweet to that bitch. I don't deserve to be treated this way.

Ollie: I know, April.

April: She's friends with Memphis just to piss me off. He shouldn't be here. He already won a three million dollar car.

Ollie: Mmm-hmmmm.

April: I'm tired of being stabbed in the back by everybody. I swear I'm the most caring person in this house.

Ollie: You are, April.

April: I bet Keesha has never had to work a day in her pathetic life. You know I work at least an hour a day, and it's sooooooo hard.

Ollie: Mmmm-hmmm.

April: I've never said anything bad about anybody in this house, especially that stupid bitch and those other pathetic morons.

Ollie: I know, April.

April: Even Jerry. Yesterday, I saw him say hi to her. Talk about a slap to my face.

Ollie: Yep.

April: Even you, Ollie. I see the way you look at her when her fat ass is hanging out of her bikini. God, it's just pathetic the way she struts her body around here. At least I wear classy heels.

Ollie: I'm sorry, baby.

April: And why the fuck were you flirting with that cow Janelle? Sometimes you disgust me.

Ollie: It's not my fault she was talking to me. I'm sorry.

April: And then Libra wasn't even thankful that I made her a birthday cake. She knows I hate her, but I'm so wonderful that I set that aside and tried to give her a special treat.

Ollie: You did, April.

April: I've had it harder in this house than anybody. It's so hard to save everybody every single week, and then they treat me like that?

Ollie: They're just jealous of you, April.

April: America knows how wonderful I am. They know that I'm a beautiful, caring person who puts everybody's happiness before my own. Do you think CBS will air our wedding?

Ollie: Mmm-hmmm...wait a second!

April: Can you imagine how perfect it will be?

Ollie: What did you just say?

April: Are you ready for bed?

Ollie: Yeah, let's go.

Sunday
Aug102008

Is There Ever a Time When A Hen Isn't Painting Her Nails?

They used to complain about Angie and the rest doing nothing but sitting outside, but don't the hens spend 90% of their time lying around the bedrooms painting their nails?


Sunday
Aug102008

April Really Is Delusional


April is still rehashing what happened last night (as she's done since she woke up). She firmly believes that America will love her "even more" since she stayed "so calm and honest" an last night. Ugh, and that people will see why her and Ollie are together because they have "the two biggest hearts in the house".

I can't wait until she's out and can see how she's really perceived.

Saturday
Aug092008

Delusions!


April to Dan: I'm probably the sweetest person in the house.

Jerry to Memphis: You're smart...like me!

Saturday
Aug092008

Say What?




Excuse me if I don't make much sense, as I've had more wine than any single person had at the BB feast. But April just said something that blew me away.

Normally, when a person goes on a journey where they are put in a situation where they have to work as an individual, they discover that they CAN be alone. That they don't need another person to complete their life.

Not April. She said at the table, after an impassioned speech from Renny about how beauty is fleeting, that the one thing she has learned in the house is that she NEEDS a man! What?

Minutes later, three different fights started after the "we love each other" dinner. Libra started in on an Ollie about how him and April went after her and called her names. At the same time, Jerry got into Dan's face about HE have shunned him. Who is the person that's been going around talking shit about the other?

Now April is in Keesha's face about how isolated she was because of Keesha. "I am not a fake fucking person", is her response. "I've given up so much for this game...how do you think you look, Keesha?"

Ugh, it's getting worse. Michelle is now going on about how honest she is, and how she's saved him because a "certain person" wants to use the POV. OMG, they're all nuts...except for Dan and Memphis.

Saturday
Aug092008

Jerry's STILL Taking His Victory Lap



I did chuckle when Jerry, April, and Ollie were laughing about the fact that Libra was in second place AGAIN. What is that, like 6 times now? But overall, Jerry is way too full of himself for winning the veto. He thinks when the "crowd" sees his victory, they'll cheer.

He also still won't let go of the Dan vote. "Dan will always be a Judas in this house to me, that motherfucking cocksucker".

In the other room, Memphis has pointed out that April should be able to drop the fact that he has won a car now that she's won ten grand and a shopping spree. Good point, sir, but something tells me she never forgets.

Wednesday
Aug062008

April Still Thinks It's All About Her



April and Libra are talking, and April is convinced of the following:

1. Jessie came after HER last week, not Libra or Keesha.

2. Keesha's name was on the banner last week, and that's a reason to distrust her.

3. Keesha, Libra, and Renny are in an alliance. Well, she's right on that.

While still hiding their plans for evicting Jessie, Libra is being pretty honest with April about her feelings regarding various topics, including last wek's fight int he HOH and Jerry's attitude towards her. She especially hates how Jerry narcs off everybody who is seen talking to Memphis, yet somehow April can talk to Michelle and Jessie. (How come that was an ok rule last week regarding Angie?)

She also complained that Ollie is acting like this is also his HOH, and that it's about time that he "steps up".