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Thursday
Jul252013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 13 Recap

Three mean girls - two racists and one loud-mouthed sex machine. One of them is going home, but which one? Live feeders know the answer, but there is certainly a case for any of them.

The real mean girl of the series, however, is safe. Just like last night, I have a feeling her true colors are going to be shown once again. Yesterday, she had two major incidents, and one of them is most definitely going to be used for the opening “let’s create some eviction doubt” video package.

Let’s go right to the show with the replacement of Elissa with GinaMarie. Oh wait, Julie has to explain that Arryn won that third nominee spot in a landslide, so that’s how Elissa, and then GInaMarie, went up (like we didn’t know that already). GinaMarie doesn’t know who the MVP is, but “i daught people liked me but obviously MVP BB doesn’t like me do that’s why I am up.” Did you follow that?

Kaitlin is bummed to be next to two good friends, but she has been told that she is just a pawn. “If I go scramble for votes, it’s just going to make me look super paranoid.” Arryn says she’s going to have to pull out a “magic trick” to get some votes as the biggest target in the house.

She is now upstairs making her case, complaining to Judd and Jessie about how GinaMarie is so negative. In the diary room, she says her work this week is going to be tougher, and she promises that she’ll never put up Judd or Jessie. Now Judd is reconsidering his promise to Kaitlin. They go over just how good Kaitlin has been in recent competitions.

Of course, Helen pops her head in. Arryn then leaves, and she says that her and Elissa (who is right behind her) needs to know how to vote. Judd makes the case that every week Arryn wil go up, and Kaitlin is a stronger competitor.

Elissa isn’t happy about this. “My opinion is Elissa all day, and every day...Arryn affects my game because she’s constantly talking about me.” Ugh, really? She also says that it affects Candice and Howard’s game, but Jessie says that’s exactly why they should keep her.

Speaking of Candice and Howard, they’re laying around in the cockpit, and Judd comes in to talk about who to evict. Judd repeats the “awesome competitor” line, but Candice says “her mouth is so potent”. Judd says that both her and Elissa need to put the personal thing to the side, and Howard says it’s 50/50 on what he wants to do.

Arryn is now talking to Helen about earning Elissa’s trust. She’ll basically do whatever she wants, and Helen says it “may be a deal too good to pass up”. Helne pulls Elissa into the storage room, but Elissa doesn’t believe her. “Arryn says stupid about me, but I can’t get that she has made derogatory racial comments.” Helen says that Elissa needs to look at who is more dangerous to their game. In the diary room, Elissa says she “just can’t support mean girls”. So she doesn’t support herself?

It’s now morning, and Judd calls over Helen to talk to him and Jessie. Andy joins them, and Helen says that nobody can tell Spencer or Howard the deal. “They’ll ultimately do what I want to do”, he says, and then tells Helen about their other alliance. It’s fake, though, he says. “They think it’s real.” Helen is shocked, shocked, shocked. How dare she try to start an alliance! Really?

After commercials, we go to Helen talking to Elissa and Amanda about that five-person alliance. Again, this shows how devious that little Kaitlin is. They have to keep this knowledge a secret, though.

We now see Arryn in the bathroom, and Elissa and Kaitlin are in the kitchen. Elissa doesn’t do what Helen requested. Instead, she comes right out and asks Kaitlin if she had made a deal with Spencer and Howard. Kaitlin denies it, and Elissa pokes and prods her some more. “I would rather you stay than Arryn.” We see Arryn craning her head around, listening.

For more detailed coverage of this incident, please read what Mike, Ash, and I all wrote yesterday about this. You really can’t pull two hours of bitching into a five minute segment, but let’s just say that Helen and others are pissed at Elissa. The only good thing that comes out of it is that once again Elissa is finally being exposed on CBS as the real bitch that she is. I mean, come on, I’m feeling bad for a racist! Howard does his diary room job by saying that maybe he’ll have to vote against Arryn after all!

It’s now time to talk to the house. Julie starts by telling Judd that twitter is “abuzz” about his stupid bear shirt. Judd says that he’s not wearing it tonight because it’s in the wash, and Julie says that maybe she’ll wear it next week. Yeah, right.

McCrae gets the next question after being told happy birthday. Julie wants to know if he’ll ever be able to top this year’s celebration. He babbles about how being in the house is a dream come true. Julie brings up the frozen yogurt competition, especially GinaMarie’s deep throating the machine. GinaMarie is asked about how bad that tasted, and I have no idea what she says. “I took one for the team, Julie. I took one for the team.”

It’s final plea time, and Arryn goes first. She says that she wants to stay in the house, and has learned a lot from everybody. Kaitlin thanks her family and friends, and that it’s been great to get to know everybody. GinaMarie is last, and again thanks everybody. “I have a big heart, and a bad accent.” She rambles on, and throws a kiss to Nick.

Voting time, and Amanda votes to evict Kaitlin, as does McCrae, Helen, Candice, Elissa (sadly, sadly, sadly), Spencer, Howard, Andy, and Jessie. Yes, it’s unanimous!

There’s another commercial break, and then Julie breaks the news that Kaitlin is evicted. Helen gets up to hug her, but Kaitlin brushes past everybody to get to the door. She does give GinaMarie a hug, and is gone!

Just like last week, the house is pretty calm post-eviction. They all just stare at the wall waiting for it to go black, and then it goes to Julie and Kaitlin. Julie asks why she sprinted out without hugs, and Kaitlin complains “everybody lied to my face”. She was a little bit shocked it was unanimous, but says she’s not necessarily mad at anybody. She says that she is hurt the most by Andy.

Julie wants to know why she went from pawn to evictee, and Kaitlin responds that obviously people saw her as a bigger threat...and the company she kept didn’t help either. Julie then informs her that the public is calling the three of them the “mean girls”. She says that she thought she was nice to everybody, but “I did align with some catty girls”. Julie adds that people feel Arryn was the leader, “especially the night she flipped over Candice’s mattress”, and she was a part of it. Kaitlin says Arryn’s actions rubbed off on her, and that she has some regrets.

The interview ends with a Jeremy question, and Kaitlin says she “has no clue” if they’re going to see each other. “I’m going to Vegas.” Is Jeremy invited? “He can do what he wants.”

We end with the messages from the house, and Helen apologizes (of course), but “Arryn gave us a deal we couldn’t resist.” Candice says she’s “super beautiful and sweet”, and says that it was because of Jeremy she is probably is gone. Judd says she’s “hot as hell”, and wishes he could have worked with her a little sooner. Arryn says she can’t wait to meet her after the season is over.

With Kaitlin gone, it’s now HOH comp time. It’s called “Roulette Me Win”, and they get to roll a ball onto a roulette wheel. The player with the highest score is the next HOH.

Andy is up first, and rolls a 23. McCrae then rolls a 28 to beat him. GinaMarie’s score is 3! Bwahahahaha! Candice then rolls a 27, and Spencer takes the lead with 34! Arryn is next, and she hits a 36 to take the lead! It’s the highest score possible! Howard then rolls, and hits 17. Jessie then gets a 2, Helen hits 28, Amanda gets 1, and Elissa is one slot short and gets a 0! Arryn is the new HOH! Wow! Funny how there is no celebration afterwards!

Julie then says the public is again voting for the third nominee, and promises a Jeff interview to end the show. Something that I won't sit through, of course!

So that’s it for tonight! What did you think of the episode? Are you shocked that Kaitlin is gone? Or that Arryn won HOH? Tell us what you think!

 

Wednesday
Jul242013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 12 Recap

There is one reason to watch tonight’s episode. Sometime early in the hour, probably around the twelve-to-fifteen minute mark, an event will happen that needs to be paused. You’re going to see a certain person’s face have an inner fight. The rigidity of chemicals and surgery is going to go to battle with a rare moment of emotion. Who will win? Modern cosmetic procedures or the natural elastic of skin?

There will be some other fun on the show tonight...or at least events that I’ll call fun, but we’ll start off where we left off on Sunday with the nominations of Kaitlin and Arryn. Judd thinks that his noms are pretty safe, except that Amanda isn’t happy. He’s just worried that he’ll put a target on his back for next week. Howard is “elated, but still a little nervous”. He notes that all of the strong males have left the house. Aaryn again complains about the “Texas Tornado” comment, and hates that she’s been made to look “sketchy in front of the whole house”.

She heads upstairs, where Judd is talking to Spencer, who leaves the room. She says that she’s not mad, but tears up when asking about that phrase. Her composure changes, though, when Judd tells her not to cry because his plan is to win veto, take either her or Kaitlin off the block, and then backdoor somebody. She promises not to tell anybody about this idea. Judd says, “act mad, act mad, act mad” as seh leaves the room.

Kaitlin is downstairs complaining to Amanda that if Arryn wins veto then she may be going home. She asks Amanda if she’ll tell her if she’s in danger, and after a moment of hesitation, Amanda says yes. Kaitlin says she doesn’t trust anybody in the house, and also doesn’t think anybody would tell her if she was a target. Arryn walks into the room, complaining that Judd was laughing as she was talking to him. Amanda attempts to reassure her, as she really does want Howard to be backdoored.

It’s now time for some whining. Elissa is asking about the MVP, because “every week about this same time, I’ve been finding out that I’m MVP. This week, it hasn’t happened. It’s so nervewracking.” She heads into the HOH, and is acting way weird. Amanda says she’s “acting like a woman who just found out she’s pregnant”, and attempts to get her to talk. She even does a perfect imitation of how she came into the room. Amanda then asks if she won MVP, and Elissa says no. “I just think I’ll go up if I don’t, hmmm mmmm.” In the diary room, Elissa acknowledges that people have been using her for the MVP, and if that’s not in play she’s in trouble.

McCrae and Amanda are now in the cockpit room, and after a kiss she tells him just how weird Elissa has been acting. She says she doesn’t understand her, and agrees that without the MVP there’s no use for her. McCrae even says she could possibly be backdoored by Judd.

Now Spencer and Howard are playing pool, complaining about Amanda. “I don’t feel good about them at all”, says Spencer. They think they’re going to run the house, and proceed to say their way to succeed is to “go with the house”. Kaitlin is their key, though, and they decide they need to get her and Judd to work with them. Oh yeah, and GinaMarie, too. “We’re still the Moving Company, baby”, says Spencer.

They head up to the HOH, and after Judd and Kaitlin walk in (GinaMarie was already there), they start in to some small talk about the MVP. “Helen and Elissa run this house”, complains Kaitlin. “Along with Amanda and McCrae”, counters Spencer. Howard says he has a plan, and goes into a chat about how they’ve all been “ostracized” from the house. GinaMarie is immediately all in, pretty much saying “preach it, brother” after everything that is said. Spencer laughs in the diary room that Howard is preaching nonsense, but it’s working with these dupes. “I’m ready to fucking play”, says GinaMarie. They slap fists to verify it’s on, baby!

After commercials, a number of people are talking about the MVP. Helen says that Elissa doesn’t have it, and maybe “America” is picking the nominee this week. “It gets America in the game.” Jessie is confused, though, and Helen believes the two nominees would have received the most votes.

So now we have the time I’ve been waiting for. Judd reads the card about the third nominee, who is....ELISSA!!!! The entire house is shocked! Shocked, I tell you! “Something weird is going on”, complains Candice. Elissa says she felt “betrayed...it’s a stab in the back!” Players for the veto are now picked, and they are Helen and McCrae, with Andy as the host.

With the meeting adjourned, Arryn actually complains that having her “worst enemy in the house” on the block with her is a bad thing. She’s worried that people may actually think that it was her that put up Elissa.

Amanda goes up to hug Elissa, who clearly doesn’t want her to be touched. She believes that it was either Kaitlin, GInaMarie, or Arryn who put her up, as “those are the only three girls I’m not close with”. GinaMarie goes up to hug her, and Elissa completely recoils. “Please stop!”

Elissa wanders into one of the bedroom, and GinaMarie follows her to find out why she was just treated like that. “You put me up.” GinaMarie swears on her life that she is not responsible, so Elissa then says that surely the other two girls told her this was going to happen. GinaMarie grabs Elissa’s Bible to swear on it, but Elissa says that’s disrespectful. “I just really want to go home. Just vote me out.” Candice pulls her out of the room into another bedroom, where Elissa continues to complain about how this isn’t fun. Candice reminds her that her sister also always had to fight to survive (kind of a myth).

At the same time, Arryn walks into the cockpit room and informs Amanda that she has to win the veto, as everybody is going to blame her for Elissa’s nomination. “If I’m on the block,, I’m going home.” Amanda says that it has to be something to do with a twist, and Arryn says that maybe Elissa put herself up.

GinaMarie now heads upstairs to inform Judd and Kaitlin that Elissa believes she put her up. If she had, she says, she would be jumping up and down. Kaitlin thinks this might be an act. “By putting herself up, it would prove to people that she’s not MVP this week.”

When we return from commercials, it is veto competition time. There are voting booths and a mud pit. To “earn” votes, they have to roll in the mud to find envelopes with a numerical tally of votes. The most votes wins veto, and there are other “prizes” attached to some ballots - both good and bad.

There’s no reason to recap everything that happens. Three or four people read the rules, there’s lots of laughter about the rolling in the mud, blah blah blah. “I just have to get down and dirty.” Yeah, you get the picture.

With the game finally over, we get the results. Helen goes first, and she has 29 votes, plus a 8 pm curfew for two nights (thank god). Kaitlin is next, and she has 25 votes. McCrae’s total is 20, but he also won five thousand bucks! Arryn’s total is 32, taking the lead from Helen. Judd also takes the lead with 38 votes, and a day of solitary confinement. It’s now all up to Elissa, and I think you know what happens here. She has 40 points, but can’t play in the next veto competition. Yes, the evil witch has just saved herself! GinaMarie says she better watch her ass next week, though! Now the paranoia starts again about the MVP!

After more commercials, Judd gives us a tour of his solitary confinement room. He says it’s going to be hell, but I believe he actually likes it. Helen then puts on her cute mom face to describe the 8 pm curfew. Worse, she’s starting to yell in the diary room like Dan did last year. Knock it off!

Meanwhile, it is McCrae’s birthday, and Amanda is getting all decked out to give him a special dance. She’s wearing a one-piece bathing suit, and Elissa wants to know whose it is. “Mine”, replies Amanda. “You brought a one-piece? Who are you?” Oh boy. Elissa continues to make catty jabs about how nobody wears one-pieces, but Amanda says she’s going to take them as compliments. “Mmmmmhmmmm, you look like you work at a strip club.”

Amanda and the crew head upstairs to celebrate, and McCrae couldn’t be more thrilled. Even before it happens, Elissa is complaining that “this is getting really risque”. Um, no, it hasn’t. Amanda then comes in, and everybody (but Elissa) cheers as Amanda spanks him. McCrae says that it was the best birthday ever, but Elissa continues to complain about how tasteless she was. Again, she bitches about the one-piece. Somebody mentions that Amanda should lick whip cream off McCrae, and Elissa bitches that will make her vomit. “It’s pretty frickin’ gross.” Really, bitch?

Amanda gets up and heads downstairs to cry alone. “She plays herself off as this good Christian girl, but she’s just nasty.” McCrae heads downstairs to console her, and tells her that the problem was that she got more attention than Elissa. What especially pisses off Amanda is that they had helped her when others had been mean.

Thankfully, there are now commercials, and when we get back Judd is still dealing with the solitary confinement (they had intercut shots of him during the last segments). Finally, it was time for him to get out, and everybody hugged him and he downed a beer and pizza.

It’s now veto ceremony time, and Elissa heads into the room to stare at the veto wall. Why, I dno’t know, as she has no say on the veto except to take herself down. Which, obviously, she does. They all look at the wall, and after an extended delay we find out the new nominee is...GinaMarie!

Howard is obviously happy with this new move. “Let the games begin.” Arryn still believes that Elissa is the MVP, as does Kristin. GinaMarie ends the show with some nonsense that I don’t have the time to translate.

So that’s it. Do you Elissa fans still believe she’s a wonderful woman? isn’t she the cattiest bitch in Big Brother history? Go ahead and complain about these statements. I can take it. Please comment.

 

Wednesday
Jul242013

A Day In The Life Of: Kaitlin

Just when I thought it was going to be an easy week, a giant gust of change hit the Big Brother house. Everybody was all set to finally evict Arryn, especially CBS. There’s no doubt the change in the MVP vote was to ensure her nomination and departure, but it backfired and put the show’s pet (Elissa) in danger.

That, of course, changed when Elissa won the veto competition in an event that even the other contestants believe was rigged. We now have Arryn, Kaitlin, and GinaMarie on the block, and it looked like everybody was going to get what they wanted.

But no! There have been rumblings from various people that maybe Kaitlin should be the one to go this week. Elissa was dead set against this idea, as she wants that girl whose very presence is an affront to her to immediately leave. Hours of rambling from Helen, though, finally broke her down, and it now looks like we’re in the last days of Jeremy’s little love kitten.

Before we get to what should be her last Tuesday in the house, let’s backtrack a bit. It probably is a smart move to get rid of Kaitlin. Besides a veto win last week that ultimately saw her boy toy get evicted, she has forced two straight HOH competitions to go to a bonus question. Imagine how different this season would be if she had pulled out that victory against Helen two weeks ago, or Judd last week.

Today started with Big Brother attempting to wake up the house at 9:30, but only a handful of people roll out of bed. Because of this, we’re treated to closeups of Andy picking zits in the bathroom. He heads outside, and joins Helen, Jessie, and Judd in scripting just how they’re going to get rid of Kaitlin. (Actually, they’re overthinking it a bit, planning some goofy scenario where Kaitlin barely gets more votes than Arryn.)

It’s not until after 1 pm that we get our first glimpse of Kaitlin, as Andy comes into the bedroom and starts babbling to GinaMarie. Oh wait, Kaitlin has slipped out of bed at some point. The camera jumps to the bathroom, where Kaitlin is fixing her hair. Andy plots down and starts babbling to her. They’re actually shocked that Judd has locked his HOH door!

Various people ramble in and out as Andy keeps up his nonstop chatter. “Have you ever been punched? How about you, Spencer? I bet Amanda has been punched.” They gossip a bit about Helen acting like she is still the HOH, and both hope the next HOH comp is endurance.

Finally left alone, Andy says that he has something to tell her. “Don’t make yourself like a threat”, he counsels. “You’re fine don’t seem like a Jeremy.”

This freaks out Kaitlin, and she complains that she’s been hearing from others that Arryn has been spreading stories about her. She’s also bummed that everybody says that GInaMarie has nothing to worry about, and will probably get no votes. Andy lies and said he’s heard none of this. “Who told you that”, he asks. “Helen and Elissa”, Kaitlin responds. Andy says that he’s not heard a word from them, and says that he’ll keep his ears open for her.

Elissa wanders in, and makes fun of Spencer’s lusting after Jessie. “I wonder what Marilyn thinks every time he says ‘I just love watching her in a bathing suit’”, she says. “Ewww, it’s so gross.” Kaitlin laughs how he acts like he’s so respectable, and says she doesn’t believe they’re really together. They go on to talk about Spencer and Marilyn’s financial woes.

Then Elissa goes into her patented whine. This time it’s because Big Brother took all of her “cute” bathing suits. “Mmmm hmmm. They took the top to this bathing suit, which made it really cute” Arryn eventually joins them, but little is said outside of hair care tips.

She then wanders into the kitchen where Helen and Jessie are cooking slop, and complains that her legs and arms are sore. The whining continues as she prepares some food, but out of nowhere Helen tells her that her “resemblance to Megan Fox is uncanny”. Um, really? Gossip time, and we go to fish.

When we return, Candice waddles in dressed in her pink footy pajamas, and Kaitlin teases her about them. “Please, can you wear those all day?” There’s more small talk, including GinaMarie’s successful cinnamon challenge from the previous night and how Big Brother is so much longer than Survivor and Amazing Race. Both Helen and Elissa (who almost went on with her sister except for a visa snafu) want to go on Amazing Race so they can travel the world.

Kaitlin, GinaMaire, and Arryn, who had joined the kitchen chatter, then move back into their bedroom. They’re sorting laundry, and Kaitlin complains that some of her favorite items are missing. Last night, Arryn had claimed to be Jeremy’s sister, and Kaitlin laughs about how she believed it. They have a minor tiff, and Arryn and GinaMarie giggle about it when Kaitlin wanders into another room.

Arryn says it’s frustrating how people twist their words, and Kaitlin bitches that Amanda never gets in trouble for her “racist” words but somehow she’s the one portrayed as one. “I’ve never said anything specifically racist”, claims Arryn. There’s also some bitching about how Big Brother didn’t allow them to bring in their favorite bikinis (similar to Elissa!), and that they should do a Victoria Secret-ish fashion show. (I concur!)

Judd now has the HOH camera, and comes in to pose for pictures with the girls. Once he’s gone, they lay down and continue to talk about how they believe the next HOH comp will be endurance. Kaitlin is worried that Elissa’s yoga will give her a balance advantage. They also make fun of the fact that Elissa made fun of Amanda’s one-piece bathing suit the other night but was complimenting Candice’s. GinaMarie wanders back in, and talk moves to the MVP. Kaitlin still thinks it could be Elissa, and GinaMarie complains that the only people to “make game-changing moves are you and Jeremy”. For some strange reason, GinaMarie also bitches about Jessie’s “big nipples that kind of freak me out”. She also bitches that Jess is constantly walking in and out of their room. Wait, she’s doing an Andy?

The girls finally head outside for more HOH pictures and pooltime. Actually, I think Kaitlin is still packing her clothes, as she’s not seen outside. The cams eventually move to Amanda/Elissa/McCrae (1&2) and Candice/Howard (3&4). I was right. Kaitlin wasn’t outside, as we now see her walking through the kitchen. She’s on for a fleeting moment, as it’s more important for us to hear Elissa complain and gossip...and then get pissed over a religious comment.

As Elissa continues to have a hissy fit in the bedroom, Kaitlin begins cleaning out the fridge. The cams go to trivia for a few minutes, and now Kaitlin is in the HOH room with a number of others. It actually appears to be a full HOH lockdown, except without Elissa. Oh wait, she is in the room, and talk is about scripted reality shows and past Big Brother seasons. Out of nowhere, Kaitlin suddenly babbles, “my mom has a prescription to People Magazine”. Prescription? Really? That’s a GinaMarie type line!

Around an hour later, the HOH lockdown finally ends, and after a slight delay Kaitlin meanders out of the room. She disappears from the cams, but we do see Helen lecture...I mean explain to Arryn how she’s going to survive the wee. She briefly reappears as GinaMarie discovers that a number of ducks have been added to the pool, and then heads off to lay down next to the hammock with GinaMarie. This doesn’t last long, as she heads inside after changing her mind about the next competition. Instead of endurance, it’s now going to be questions again. (Doubtful.)

When she walks into her bedroom, Judd is looking for a bed to take a nap. You see, as always, his HOH bed is occupied by others. Kaitlin tells him to just sleep on her bed, as the bed GinaMarie uses is covered by makeup. She is then seen in the kitchen with a chomping GinaMarie, and she spends a bit of time cleaning out the mold and meat blood in the fridge. After GinaMarie wanders off, Candice comes in to eat, wearing that godawful pink onesie.

Kaitlin is off cam for the next hour or so, but then reemerges in the outdoor couch area with GinaMarie, Amanda, and McCrae. There’s more speculation about how much time Howard spends in the diary room; a topic that gets GinaMarie fired up. Kaitlin also teases her again about her makeup-covered sheets. Like always, GinaMarie dominates the conversation that’s about nothing, which eventually turns into a (sometimes tasteless) bitchfest against Candice.

For the next hour or so, little happened. Judd acted like a goof, sorting through everybody’s stuff (primarily Howard) to find the “MVP card”. GinaMarie took a bath; Arryn took a shower. Other laid around and did nothing.

Then out of nowhere comes a bit of shit-stirring. Elissa and Kaitlin were in the kitchen, and out of the blue Elissa whispers, “somebody’s lying. We either need to sit everybody down and see who is telling the truth, or you’re going to go home”. Kaitlin sort of walks away, saying she’s “definitely going to ask them”, but Elissa isn’t finished. A couple of minutes later, she asks Kaitlin what she’s going to ask. Elissa wants a house meeting, so she tells her that it’s not going to do any good to just ask them all separately. “You’re going to go home if you don’t, and I’m going to be upset.”

Kaitlin replies that if they’re going against her, they’re actually going against Elissa. “Against me? How me?” Kaitlin replies that those people “are your little minions. They follow you around.” If the vote doesn’t go Kaitlin’s way, it’s Elissa’s fault. “Nobody’s going to do what I say”, Elissa claims. “Everybody does what you say”, counters Kaitlin. I’m kind of liking this conversation. Good for Kaitlin!

Elissa says she’d rather that Kaitlin stay over Arryn, but “not if you’re working with Howard and Spencer”. Kaitlin denies that is the case. Elissa won’t let it drop, saying that Jeremy worked with those two. Kaitlin says she could “never work with them again”. To Elissa, that means that Arryn is making stuff up again. Elissa asks that Kaitlin not mention this conversation to anybody, Andy then walks in, and Kaitlin makes her escape.

I didn’t catch this, but Arryn apparently heard this entire exchange, and heads up to the HOH to complain to Amanda and McCrae.

So what happened here? Wasn’t Elissa in on the plan to let Kaitlin believe she’s safe? There are a couple of possibilities here. One is that Elissa is still bitter over the religion disagreement from earlier in the night, and wanted to passive/aggressively create some controversy. It’s plausible, because Elissa is an evil machine.

I think what really happened is that the diary room instructed Elissa to interject some action into an otherwise boring night. They have a need for some pre-eviction footage for Thursday night, so why not program their little robot to create it?

Andy is dragged into the storage room to be informed as to what just happened. Andy claims that nobody has talked to her about changing anything (technically a lie), and says she’s crazy. Kaitlin is irritated because Elissa is “lying to my face”. Andy said that Elissa is “full of shit” and promises her that he’d tell her if that was the case.

They leave the storage room, and Kaitlin encounters Arryn in the kitchen. “You’re going to enjoy this one. I’m so irritated right now”, says Kaitlin. An annoyed Arryn barely responds. They head into the bedroom, and Kaitlin tells her the entire story, and Arryn denies hearing anything. GinaMarie walks in, and Kaitlin repeats the story again. She wants to talk to Helen.

Arryn leaves in the middle of this retell, and meets with Helen in the cockpit room. Helen reassures her that the plan is still in place.

Kaitlin can’t find Helen, so goes out and confronts Howard and Spencer, who asks how it is possible to have a final four deal with just three people. He instructs her to just let her be upset, and Howard says that Elissa has had an attitude with her all day. She heads back inside to find Helen, who has now headed upstairs  

Kaitlin then goes up to get Helen, who asks for a few minutes. She encounters Arryn, who wants to know who is upstairs. “I don’t know”, she curtly replies. Strangely, Elissa is now talking to GinaMarie, complaining that Arryn lies. Kaitlin continues to pace around the house.

Helen finally finds Elissa, who downplays it all and claims that people keep making up stories. “I’m so tired of being lied to. and manipulated. I don’t know what the deal is. Stop being so over-dramatic.” She spins it and spins it, and, of course, Helen believes Elissa’s bullshit. At the same time, Kaitlin is yelling to a disinterested Judd about why he wants her to go.

The only good thing that happens is that Arryn plops herself down in the room with Helen, Elissa, and GinaMarie, and says she heard every word. “Why are you trying to stir things up?” Elissa makes it all about herself, of course, complaining that Arryn is the one who plopped herself down in the room and started in on her without an invitation. “This has nothing to do with you”, says Elissa. Kaitlin comes into the room, and verifies what Kaitlin says. Elissa is still dismissive of Arryn.

Kaitlin goes off to get Spencer and Howard, who all say they want to know who is talking about them. Elissa wants to know if it is true, and they both deny it. “I’m alone in this game”, says Kaitlin. “Nobody tells me anything.” Seriously, the spin and half-truths that come out of Elissa is pretty amazing. Kaitlin adds that she has been honest in the entire game. “I have not lied to anybody in this room.”

GinaMarie then goes on a rant that somehow includes Nick. It’s a waste of five minutes, making me wish there was a yogurt machine for her to deep throat. The floor goes back to Elissa, who again is just an innocent waif who did nothing wrong.

Things get comical when Arryn again stands up for herself and bitches about the half-truths that people like Elissa have been spreading. She says that for whatever reason Elissa won’t even acknowledge her presence, so there’s no way to clear the air with her. “I don’t even think about you. That’s funny. Don’t flatter yourself.” Sorry, Brenchel fans, but Elissa is the worst bitch in the world.

Stupidly, Katilin buckles and pretty much comes close to kissing Elissa’s feet. It’s disappointing that only Arryn is standing up for herself, and Elissa just replies over and over that she never thinks about Arryn. That, my friends, is the biggest lie of the season, as she does talk about her all day long.

Spencer, of all people, has the line of the debate, asking why he would even think about making alliances with people on the block. Good question, especially when either of them could go.

Finally, the fight ends...although Elissa continues to badmouth Arryn to Spencer. “I cannot be in a house with Arryn. She is such a bad person.” Spencer is pissed at her, as she has been “giving me the cold shoulder all day”. “Can you see how she attacked me”, she replies. She continues to play the victim when Judd heads outside, complaining that nobody stood up for her. Ugh.

Meanwhile, Judd, Arryn, and Kaitlin can’t believe what just occurred. “What the fuck just happened”, asks Kaitlin. Arryn now says that she knows what Elissa is capable of doing, and starts crying. “It’s just one person fucking everything up.”

Kaitlin finally storms out of the bedroom, and ends up in the backyard with Elissa. Yes, you probably predicted what happened here. Elissa lays in to Kaitlin for bringing her into this situation...and again, Kaitlin folds. “But I’m the one who got attacked”, complains Elissa. “It’s not fair.” Kaitlin just wants to know what condiment to put in her meal, and Elissa offers to make it. What? How does this happen? They cooked together???

Amanda comes down, and Kaitlin says that she missed the big show. Amanda, who is wearing Judd’s HOH robe, says she’s happy that she wasn’t there, but outside wonders how her name was brought into it. Judd fills her in, and she takes it as an opportunity to yell at Spencer and Howard. Spencer’s reply? “I don’t even speak your fucking name.” Kaitlin comes out, and relays to Amanda the entire story. “This is a bunch of bullshit”, concludes Spencer.

Amanda asks for the exact incident with Elissa, and concludes that this is all Candice’s fault. After a few more minutes, Helen finally pipes up to deflect the blame away from Elissa. Kaitln’s dumb move is believing that the whole incident is because people have seen the late night crew hanging out together. No, it’s because Elissa wanted (or production wanted) some shit stirring.

Arryn comes outside now, and the bickering continues. “Congrats”, says Arryn. “Now you’re for sure staying.” Candice also comes out, so we get yet another retell of the story. After hearing it, Candice babbles some self-help bullshit, and walks away.

For the next hour or so, there’s a lot of self-indulgent spin management going on. Everybody is trying to ensure their hands are clean of everything. In the midst of this, Big Brother provides some booze. Great idea...for us viewers at least. Amanda takes the opportunity to use this controversy to go after Candice again (and also Kaitlin), leading Kaitlin to just sigh, “self evict. I want to smoke a joint so badly.”

Kaitlin then heads up to the HOH room, and tells McCrae and Judd that if she’s going home she needs to be told. There’s talk that Arryn may indeed be saved just to get back at Elissa. She then wanders downstairs and eavesdrops on a bunch talking about the incident in the cockpit room. When Amanda comes out of that room, Kaitlin goes in...and now Amanda is eavesdropping. Kaitlin whines that she’s going home after being nothing but nice to everybody and that Elissa conveniently forgets what she says five minutes after saying it. “She is a crazy liar.”

There’s a few other chats of this type, including another one with Andy where he plays dumb. Kaitlin doesn’t understand why everybody is so afraid of Elissa and Amanda, but Andy says he’s never really involved in their conversations. He says he has her back.

The night ends with a typically bizarre chat with GinaMarie and a more reassuring one with Judd. She ends up being the last person we see awake, deep in thought while dipping her feet in the tub.

So that’s it. A day that looked to be a bore turned into one of the silliest nights I’ve watched in quite some time. At the end of the day, though, it looks like Kaitlin is still going home. The only difference is that she now has knowledge this may happen. Who knows what will happen tomorrow?
This edition of the series should result in tons of comments. Do you think Kaitlin will be saved? What caused Elissa to go nuts? Which fake alliance is a real alliance? How many real alliances are ake? Tell us your thoughts!

 

Monday
Jul222013

A Day In The Life Of: Aaryn

Today should be interesting, as I’m going to follow around America’s favorite racist. I should have done this profile earlier in the season, though, as she’s been almost forgotten the last few days. It’s now almost assumed that she will be nominated every week, but last week there was a much bigger fish to fry.

This week may be different, although there are some cracks in the foundation that may result in one of a handful of others that see Julie Chen on Thursday. It’s doubtful in my mind that this will actually happen, and it will ultimately depend on the next person down the list on America’s nominee voting.

It’s a lazy day in Big Brother, as the house had a late-night that saw Aaryn actually fight against some of the charges against her. Insanely fight, of course, but she seems to be perplexed why people want her gone. Like I said, she insanely debated the charges.

Anyway, it’s a quiet morning, except for the plop plop fizz fizz of Helen’s feet as she jogs around the house. Why somebody who is trying to sleep doesn’t get up and yell at her for being so inconsiderate is beyond me, but we don’t see Aaryn at all until after 12:30. In the meantime, Helen has gathered the troops into another gigantic alliance that will last until the next giant alliance. What’s strange is that she’s seen making small talk about Elissa, who is doing her usual passive/aggressive method of gaining knowledge she already knows. Aaryn doesn’t give her much as she continues to much down her cereal.

She putters around the kitchen or a bit before disappearing off camera. We do hear her a little bit later saying “good afternoon” to Judd, who is still stuck in solitary confinement. Instead, the cams either focus on Jessie cooking slop or Amanda and McCrae finally waking up (along with Helen blathering on for hours outside). This raises a question. Is CBS so fed up with Aaryn that they’re no longer giving us the tittilation of our little racist getting ready in the morning (I mean afternoon)? Is McCrae making a bed or Jessie stirring a pot more entertaining than watching a cute blonde girl go through her daily routine?

The camera does return to her as she sits silently in the living room. She does take Amanda aside and informs her that Elissa and Helen are spreading stories from last night. She’s pissed that she is now the person to blame for everything that ever happens in the house. Amanda doesn’t seem to care, though...for now.

Aaryn again disappears for a time, as there are more important things to show. Amanda versus Candice. Amanda versus Elissa. Helen’s interrogations and repeated descriptions of her curfew. At least various people show up to cheer up (or is it bother?) Judd during his solitary confinement.

She is then seen talking to McCrae about various topics, including the circumstances of her birth and her heart murmur. She then moves on to laundry as Helen continues to bore everybody with more of her chatter. She also suggests that Amanda and McCrae should clean up the HOH, but doesn’t get much of a reply.

As Helen holds court in the pool, Aaryn continues to work with the laundry before heading inside to sit around as Candice makes “slop balls”. There’s some babbling about self-help books, and “inflamed intestines”. Arryn claims to have once wanted to be a relationship counselor, but after reading a million books she realized that there is no correct answer. “It stirred me more away from relationships rather than being in them.” This explains a lot.

Ok, reverse my earlier complaint. We do get nonsense footage of Arryn fixing her hair, while GinaMarie is working on her extensions. Little is said by either of them. Kaitlin joins them, chowing down on some food like she’s a “Neandertall”, but the chat doesn’t improve. They complain how Candice is going around saying that they’ve all been talking trash about Elissa. “I’m jaded by it”, replies Aaryn. “I really don’t care anymore...I feel like I’ve been chastised to the point where I’m not fun anymore. I’m not even like me.”

The whining continues as Aaryn complains about how people portray themselves as victims. She does make a point, though, when she complains that Amanda ends up apologizing to the person, Elissa, who was making fun of her last night. GinaMarie finally tires of the conversation, and tells her she doesn’t give a fuck. They even snip at each a little before GinaMarie stomps off to have a bizarre conversation/confrontation with Elissa. While that goes down, Arryn plops herself on the floor to chat with Judd.

Once that ridiculous conversation is finished, GinaMarie reports everything that was said (or her version of it) to Amanda. Meanwhile, Aaryn is now having an argument with Kaitlin in the bathroom. Yes, it’s about that same conversation with Amanda last night. The MVP situation has EVERYBODY on edge, and Aaryn’s complaint is that the two of them are supposed to be friends, yet she went to Elissa to bitch about her. “It’s gameplay”, replies Kaitlin. They move their fight into the kitchen, where Amanda joins in. It’s really a silly she said/she said fight. “You’re playing into that whole word mistake thing”, Aaryn complains. Somebody explain what that means, please.

Kaitlin wanders off to complain about Arryn, which leaves GinaMarie to endure more of her whining. It’s really just the same stuff over and over, although it is funny when GinaMarie claims “I never talk shit. I don’t need to.” Really? Aaryn finally wanders off to report to Judd her latest complaints. “It’s killing me. It’s killing my game.” Poor Judd.

She’s then off camera for a time, as Howard and Candice play pool, while Kaitlin befriends the likes of Spencer, Helen, Andy, and Spencer. Yes, exciting.

I did then watch the CBS show with the feeds on in the background. The only thing of consequence that happened during that hour was that Judd was released from solitary confinement, and Aaryn was part of the welcoming committee that rewarded him with beer and pizza. She sits outside with him and a few others afterwards, and confides that she is finally learning how to stop talking. Finally, during the week you’re probably going home!

It’s now photo booth time, which is a good place for a break. It’s the same as always. They all participate, and it’s really boring as a viewer. Oh wait, they don’t. A couple of them do, and they most wander back to what they were already doing.

Aaryn wanders back outside, where Amanda and Judd are gossiping. Amanda’s rage is now against Kaitlin and her new alliance, which obviously is something that Aaryn is pleased to hear. Judd’s not really against this plan, or so he says.

Suddenly, she’s back in the bedroom with Kaitlin, but I can’t make out anything they’re whispering. GinaMarie barges in anyway, so Arryn decides to participate in the photo booth silliness.

A little later, she interrupts a very tense meeting in the HOH involving Spencer, McCrae, and Amanda. She exits pretty quickly and the talk carries on. She returns to Kaitlin and GinaMarie in the kitchen.

My patience is starting to wear thin as Arryn now gets in the hammock with GinaMarie and Kaitlin to continue her daily theme on mean people and lies. It’s the same stories over and over. Jessie breaks it up a bit by joining them, and the talk moves to slop and jewelry before she wanders off.

Thirty minutes later, she joins a number of people outside on the couch. Spencer is at his best, almost begging Jessie to take off her bra as he has a “secret alliance” with her nipples. Classy. The feeds don’t last long on this group, as Helen is again pontificating in the HOH, and Elissa is being her typical weird self in the kitchen. They do return to the group scene from time to time, and when it’s not minor items they’re discussing it does all go back to Elissa and how weird she is.

There is one major happening in the house this evening, and since it doesn’t involve Aaryn she’s hit and miss for quite some time. There’s a fake engagement between McCrae and Amanda, and GinaMarie shows her jealousy because she didn’t get such an event with Nick. Aaryn is one that attempts to talk her down, and there is also a funny moment where Aaryn compliments Elissa on a treat that she had made. Elissa ignores her.

After that, it’s a pretty calm night. Aaryn is more sociable than usual, and she even ends up in the same vicinity with people she normally spends little time with (Candice, etc.). There’s lots of homelife talk, but nothing really serious. The night ends with Aaryn sitting up in the HOH with Judd, Kaitlin, GinaMarie, and Spencer. The prime talk again is Elissa, and her strangeness.

So that’s it. A full day with the most hated woman in Big Brother history, and you know what? It wasn’t that much of a chore. She really has calmed down, and while she does have a tendency to whine, for the most part she’s no more self-absorbed than anybody else in the house.

Any thoughts on this piece? Should I have piled on with condemnation like every other Aaryn report? Tell us what you think.


 

Sunday
Jul212013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 11 Recap

After the craziness of the last few episode, it’s probably a good thing that tonight’s should be pretty calm. There will be the aftermath of Judd’s HOH victory, a Have-Not competition, and Judd’s nominations. I’d expect lots of filler, and more than a few times that subtitles are used to transcribe Judd’s mumbling. Or Elissa.

The show begins with Jeremy’s eviction, and Kaitlin (kind of) sadly blames herself. “He deserves to be here a lot more than some of these other people.” Aaryn also claims to be a bit bummed, but she’s “just happy to be here”. Of course, Helen screams in the diary room, but says she can’t get too cocky. She says this as she’s acting cocky, of course. Jeremy asks for his “princess”, and is out the door.

As his picture turns black, Amanda jokes that “he looks better in black and white, though”, and hugs Kaitlin. Spencer is happy that he’s still in the house, but is bummed that all of the guys are leaving. Kaitlin, though, is just “trying to hold it together”. She’s worried she’ll take it out on other people.

We move to the HOH competition, and Judd’s victory. He’s excited to be “king of the house for a week”. Surprisingly, Jessie is even more excited. Oh wait, I know why. He’s the only guy that pays attention to her. GinaMarie, though, is shocked, and says the cute girls need to play up to him to “get the scrubs outta the house”.

Filler moment number one. Jessie has Judd’s crown, and he has to kiss her to get it back.

Meanwhile, Aaryn and Kaitlin are sad that Jessie is gone. Kaitlin thinks she’s owed some safety for a few weeks, and Aaryn says she should be happy to still be in the house. Kaitlin thinks she does have a better shot at doing well without Jeremy being around.

In the lounge area, Amanda is freaking out about Julie’s announcement about the MVP twist. McCrae says his “mind is starting to spiral” about this twits, and they wonder who Judd is going to put up. They think it should be Kaitlin and GinaMarie, but Amanda thinks it should be Howard. Judd and Jessie walk in, and Amanda asks what he thinks. She wants Candice and Howard, or Aaryn and Kaitlin. She says in the diary room that she has “to keep him in check”. Judd, though, says that Amanda is getting on his nerves. “She may run McCrae, but she does not run J-U-Double-D!

Candice and Howard are now together, and they pretty much just rerun everything we just heard. Howard feels confident because “I’m in with my boy, Judd”. The twist is on their mind, too.

Ugh, it’s the “who wants to see my HOH room” segment. I don’t participate in this idiocy. Fast forward time.

Judd is now upstairs with a bunch of people, and says he’s thinking about putting up GinaMarie. Spencer wants to know if she is the target, but Judd doesn’t really know. Elissa, though, wants Aaryn up, and Howard pushes for Kaitlin. Elissa says GinaMarie would be a “waste”. Of a nominee, that is. Spencer really doesn’t care as long as he and Howard are safe.

Filler moment number two, as we deal with GinaMarie’s butchering of words. I guess it’s better than some of the other words she uses, but it’s another fast forward moment.

Filler moment number three, as they try to force another showmance on us. Look, CBS viewers, Howard really doesn’t care about Candice. This is all in her mind. And the network’s desire to create showmances is one of the reasons the casting has deteriorated in recent years. Stop it!

The show jumps ahead to Judd’s “Kiss the Ring” conversations, and Aaryn is telling him that she has no desire to go after him. He pretty much tells her that he has to put her up, but “GinaMarie is annoying”. He’d be “down for campaigning against her”. Aaryn, though, wants Howard to be put up. Judd says that’s a bad idea because he would probably get the veto. Aaryn is pissed.

FIller moment number four, as Kaitlin and GinaMarie both talk about their “men”. Aaryn walks in, and complains that being on the block is too stressful. Kaitlin complains that she shouldn’t freak out about it, and Aaryn says that all three of them are going to go up. The other two girls don’t agree, which angers Aaryn. GinaMarie snaps at her, saying she needs to think positive. “Just relax and talk normal.” Somehow, NIck’s name comes up, of course, even though Aaryn said nothing about him. Wait, did we just get a sympathetic Aaryn moment?

Time for the “funkiest have-not competition of the summer”. They’re all in swimsuits, and they have to drink these awful flavors of yogurt. The team that gains the least weight wins. I don’t quite get it, either, and don’t really care. I do know that Elissa throws up, and later complains about being filmed puking. It’s a terrible segment, except for GinaMarie’s excelling at taking the yogurt straight down her throat. The results are that GinaMarie’s team won, and the new have-nots are Jessie, Helen, Andy, and Candice. Andy is pissed and whining.

Immediately afterwards, Judd talks to Amanda about nominations. We know who she wants, and again she pushes for Howard, Spencer, or Candice to go up. This goes on a bit, but Amanda isn’t getting the answers she wants.

Filler moment number 5000. Yoga with Elissa...and Howard. Seriously, this is a waste of time.

Jessie and Elissa now head into the HOH to talk to Judd, and Elissa says this set of nominations will be a “gamechanger”. Judd announces that he wants to put up GinaMarie and Kaitlin, but Elissa doesn’t like that. “It’s a waste of a HOH.” She wants Aaryn to go home. “Aaryn is a ticking time bomb.” Seriously, what is the difference between the three girls? Why is Kaitlin going home a waste of a HOH, but not Aaryn?

(By the way, this segment is way out of place. This conversation happened Friday morning, before the Have-not competition, and before the “kiss the ring” segments we’ve seen with Amanda and Aaryn.)

Amanda is now raging about how the “house” wants Howard out. Andy says that Judd doesn’t want to put him up, but Amanda is adamant that he “HAS” to do that. Andy’s reply is that Howard is no threat to Judd, but Amanda counters that you “can’t play selfishly”. Um, what? Judd then walks in, and Amanda is all over him about his nominations. Judd says he doesn’t know who he is going to nominate, and Amanda goes off on her reasons once again. Sorry, folks, but this obsession with Howard is killing Amanda’s game. For once, Andy and I agree on something.

It’s now nomination time. Finally, after all of this filler. I’m ready for the conclusion of this episode. I am proud that Judd is able to read the script without any problems, and everybody else fulfills their roles. Spencer’s key is pulled out first, followed by Jessie, Elissa, Candice, McCrae, Andy, Helen, Howard, GinaMarie, and Amanda. Kaitlin and Arryn are the nominees. “Thanks, Judd”, says Amanda with a sarcastic twinge.

After a few diary room comments, that’s it for the show. DId it seem like it took three hours to you? Are you happy with Judd’s nominations? Let us know what you think!

 

 

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