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Sunday
Aug312014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 30 Recap

This shapes up to be a fairly pedestrian episode tonight, highlighted by footage of Thursday night’s semi-endurance HOH competition. Otherwise, it will be the usual HOH room reveal, some scheming, a bit of filler, and the predictable nominations.

As expected, the broadcast commences with “ice” (aka Crisco) comp in progress. Yes, this is an opportunity for producers to slip in cheesy sound effects as everybody slips and slides down the course. In case you don’t know how this works, Nicole whines the rules. I’ll skip repeating them.

Ok, we get it. It’s hard to move, and we also get that everybody wants to win this HOH. Derrick has already decided to go for the five thousand bucks, but has to pretend that he’s going for the HOH.

Frankie then talks about how even hours before Thursday’s show, he was “begging” people to evict Nicole over Donny as it was a better move for his game. We get flashbacks to him talking to Caleb and Cody about this subject. Cody is against the idea. (We covered this on last night’s Big Brother Gossip Show.) Frankie then notes that this comp is “frankly, designed for someone like her”.

There’s more falls, more bad sound effects, and, even worse, more of Nicole’s voice. She was well aware of the plan to evict her over Donny, and we get more flashbacks of Cody telling her everything. It’s all about Frankie being scared of her, and Derrick then walks in and dramatically tells Cody that they’re going to keep her. She says this is “motivating” her to win and get rid of Frankie.

Caleb then says that his strategy is the Donny method - “slow and steady, because at the end of the day, slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. To be honest with you, Beastmode’s slow is literally faster than a lot of people’s fast”. Wait, what?

More silly music as we watch Derrick fall over. Christine says that she’s figured out how to make it without falling, but Nicole clearly has not yet figured that out. Even sillier music comes on as my girl Victoria has her usual problems. “This competition is a nightmare. This feels like it’s like running up an escalator at the frickin’ mall. It sucks.” Caleb says she looks “straight up pitiful.”

The dramatic music then comes up as we find out that Frankie is leading, followed by Christine and Caleb, who then falls again (as does Derrick). Cody remarks on just how bad Derrick looks, and we get footage of multiple falls (all with the awful sound effect). Derrick knows he’s not going to win, and he feels safe, so he’s going to go after the money. Ok, we get it!!!

Ninety minutes into the comp, and Caleb is still falling all over the place. “Beastmode Cowboy is starting to fall apart”. He begins talking to himself - “no pain, no pain”. Nicole whines some more, but she just has to win. Yep, more footage of her falling, complete with slow motion of her extremely tight shorts wedging into her ass.

Beastmode is still talking to himself, but Frankie says he’s determined to win as he feels in danger. Caleb dunks his head in the water, and continues to talk to himself. Nicole also feels a bit more confident. “I possibly have a shot at this thing.” Caleb says he’s “got to cowboy up, and rodeo this thing”. With that, we head to the first commercial break.

We return to more of the same - multiple people falling and Caleb giving himself pep talks. It’s between Caleb, Frankie, Christine, and Nicole, who says she has to push herself harder. Nicole whines about a cricket in her lane, and I’m ready for her to be evicted. That voice!!! She’s a nice girl, but come on!

Derrick then fills the smaller snowman to win five grand and five thousand “hollas”. Caleb has now taken the lead, with Christine and Frankie right behind him. Nicole starts giving Christine advice on how to find the thicker slush, and Frankie overhears them. Nicole hopes that this will help her later on in the game.

It’s between Caleb and Christine now, and Derrick says he wants Caleb to win as he would feel safer with him as HOH. Caleb agrees, worrying that she’ll team up with Nicole and Victoria. Caleb then takes a hard tumble, but he carries on. “You don’t need a break. Breaks are for sissies.” He says he’s doing it for his “comrades; my fallen brothers”. He’s got to push through to win. Finally, he sticks his hand inside and pulls out the ball at the same time that Christine is attempting the same thing. Caleb is the new HOH, but “I’m pretty banged up. I feel like a 90 year-old man sitting here.” That attention whore Frankie doesn’t help things by leaping on top of him. Nicole attempts to hug him, but ends up falling on his hurt knee.

Christine is mad she lost, but feels pretty safe as we see Derrick and Frankie help carry Caleb inside. Nicole, though, doesn’t feel safe. “I would absolutely love to work with him moving forward, and I need to tell him that.”

After more commercials, Caleb is brought into the house. Victoria is also limping, while others just lay down on the kitchen floor. “This is by far the most brutal HOH comp so far in this game”, says Derrick. Cody and Frankie deposit Caleb in the diary room, and Frankie says that he loves him. Derrick tells them he had no way of winning, but in the diary room he says it’s his favorite comp as he won the money. He says that he’s going to put the cash in his daughter’s college fund, and they talk about the video of her that he saw during Thursday’s broadcast.

Cody and Frankie head into the storage room to celebrate Caleb’s win, and how next week they’re going to win. Christine then heads out to take a shower, and she exchanges words with Nicole. Derrick then heads to join the boys in the storage room, and Frankie tells them what he heard during the game. Derrick downplays it, but Frankie is adamant that he was correct about those two working together. Derrick likes this chatter, though, as he’d rather see Christine go than Nicole. Frankie wants Nicole and Christine put up.

Frankie and Derrick then head into the fire room to complain about the failure of the Big Brother play, aka my favorite moment of the year. There’s a flashback to that great moment, but Frankie is happy that they’re now down one person of that phony alliance. “I cannot be toting around someone’s dead weight. Missions are going to be much easier without him.” Yes, that should help you win America’s Player. Frankie continues to complain, and looks at the camera as he says that Donny “didn’t pull his weight in this group”. Derrick finds that funny. “America, don’t include me in that bunch”, he says in the diary room. “I don’t want to be guilty by association.”

Cody and Derrick are then shown calling for some help with the door as they carry Caleb out of the diary room. He is then told about Nicole helping Christine during the HOH, which clearly makes his decision much, much easier.

We then move on to dinner time. Frankie is kissing Caleb’s ass about his “huuuuuge victory”, while Nicole is in the bathroom. “God, what a great, great, great comp”, says Frankie. Big Brother tells Nicole to put on her microphone, and Frankie says why bother? “It’s over.” Christine corrects him, saying that it’s just a typical request by Big Brother. “I’m not an idiot. I know what she’s doing”, he replies. Christine continues to stand up for her, and Frankie continues to be his usual self - an ass. “There’s no reason not to be nice to her”, she says with a tint of irony. “Whatever” is the reply. “She don’t get no special treatment.”

Christine then tells Cody about this conversation. Cody warns her that Frankie will try to “use” that conversation to hurt her. Cody then does what he does best - act like a pussy. “I’m caught smack in the middle between Christine and Frankie. Christine I like a little bit more in this house, but it’s a really tough situation when two people in your alliance are banging heads.” He’s just going to lay low and not take sides. Yep, that’s our Cody!

Filler time - Caleb’s HOH room reveal. Fast forward time!

Even more fille, as we get to see Victoria complain about Christine’s laugh to Derrick. “She’s so fake to a point where I can’t stand it.” Derrick is barely listening, though. At least Victoria made the show tonight, I guess. She’s right, though. Christine’s laugh does suck.

Back to the game. Nicole has come up to talk game with Caleb. She’s tired of being on the block, and thinks she can be good for Caleb’s game. They argue a bit about her win total, and then Caleb informs her that the boys are talking about her helping Christine in the HOH comp. Nicole now realizes that everything she says has been hurting her in the game. “I should just zip it shut.” YES!!!

After more adverts, it’s time for more filler. Derrick is now getting some of his “5,000 hollas”. Yeah, this is the typical fluff that makes Utopia a real threat to Big Brother.

Back to the game. Well, kind of. Finally, after weeks and weeks the Have-Not material has made TV. Everybody is brought into the house to see this week’s awful creation, and Caleb reads the script. Derrick immediately volunteers to be a have-not to take heat off him from winning the money. Caleb asks who else will volunteer, but nobody does. “You’ve all done it twice, right?” Christine points to Frankie, who has only been a have-not on one previous time. Caleb finally puts up Nicole, who is upset that she’s on it two weeks in a row.

She immediately heads outside crying. “I just want to go home. I’m sick of this crap.” Derrick comes outside to give her a pep talk. “I’m so sick of being picked on.” Derrick hints in the diary room that maybe she will survive the week, and this talk will “be used to my advantage”. He does lay it on pretty thick, and tells her to go after the veto instead of just wallowing in her misery.

Caleb and Cody are now talking about nominations, and Caleb is reluctant to put up Christine as she’ll probably come after him next week. Cody agrees, mainly because she’s a “valuable asset to my game”. Caleb claims he’s a “very good read of people”, but hasn’t been able to figure her out yet. Cody lays it on thick, saying it’s because he’s such a man. He’s leaning towards putting up Victoria instead, but that gives Nicole a better shot at winning. Cody then suggest going after Frankie, and talks about how Frankie told Christine that Caleb was trying to save Donny. (Hmmm, interesting choice of footage.) Caleb doesn’t like this news.

The final set of ads air, and then Caleb reads the nomination script as he stares at the memory wall. Yes, nothing is different than usual here. Nicole, Christine, and Cody say what you would expect them to hear, and Caleb inserts the two keys of his nominations.

Everybody is brought into the house, and Caleb reveals that his noms are indeed Nicole and Christine. Shocker! Oh wait, there was also an interruption of the stupid “holla”. A couple, actually. Caleb says that putting up Nicole was a “no brainer”, as she’s “already had a life in this game. You played it very well. You’re very smart. You’re cute. You’re funny as all get out, and at the end of the day you have honestly had three chances to save yourself in this game since you’ve been back, and you’ve failed to do so.” He tells Christine that she should know why she was nominated, but he hopes she wins as Nicole’s last lifeline was when Donny walked out the door.

With that the episode is over. It’s pretty interesting to me how Frankie is no longer getting the hero edit that he received for most of the season. Has production finally realized that he’s not the ratings grabber they believe he would be? Hmmm. What do you think? Tell us!

 

Thursday
Aug282014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 29 Recap

After a couple of weeks of boring feeds and even worse CBS broadcasts, I’m actually a bit excited about tonight’s telecast. Don’t get me wrong. There will be plenty of unneeded filler. The house filmed an ice bucket challenge this week, and there will also be a segment about Christine’s family. (I like her husband, Tim, but these segments are always brutal.)

What I’m primarily looking forward to seeing should happen towards the end of the second segment, which is when Julie Chen first talks to the house. Remember last night’s disastrous “Big Brother on Broadway” segment, designed by Frankie to be a Team America task? Well, the voting lines were opened after the show ended, and Julie has a coded question that will tell them if they passed. He’s completely convinced that “America” will love what they did. Judging by twitter, I’m not so sure. If it goes the way I believe, it could be my favorite moment of the season.

There’s also a bit of doubt as to who is going home. All week long the plan has been for Donny to be evicted, but there were a flurry of conversations about a last-minute swerve. While it appears that Derrick prevented a crisis, Nicole knows what went down. Between that and Cody’s anger over people disobeying his HOH, there could finally be cracks in the giant alliance that has run the house since the very first day.

Enough of my babbling. Let’s head to the footage! Obviously, we start with the nothingness that was the veto ceremony, where Cody again proved that he talks a big game but has no testicle. Remember last night when he suggested putting up Frankie? Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Donny and Nicole are seen sitting outside, talking about how all they can do is enjoy their last few days. Nicole’s voice again grates my brain as she talks in the diary room, but I think she said that she needs to find three votes. Donny thinks his only hope is Team America, “but I don’t think Team America is as strong as America would want them to be”. Preach it, Donny! Both Donny and Nicole go on about how tough they’ve had it in the house.

Meanwhile, Cody is folding his jeans, explaining that he has to send Donny home because he is such a threat. Yeah, right. He heads out the HOH door, and this short scene is already over. Yep, even CBS producers hate Cody.

Back downstairs, Derrick is hiding behind a giant piece of wood, and scares Nicole as she walks by. She takes this opportunity to ask him what he’s doing this week, and he says she should feel safe. She complains that she feels awkward, and feels that nobody is wiling to trust her. Derrick uses this opportunity to get her on his side, but claims to not be so sure that he wants to break up Team America. Derrick says that he’s not sure how the girls will vote (lie), but she should have the votes from all of the boys. “Nobody wants Donny here because he’s dangerous.”

Moving on, Nicole is mending fences with her former buddy, Christine, as they lay out in the sun. “It was so weird when I came back in the house the first thing I did was hurry and try to find you and like hug you.” What a badly constructed sentence! They giggle and continue to babble, and Christine says that she loves her. “I really have no hard feelings for you at all”, says Christine.

Frankie is watching this all go down as he eats, and thankfully his mic is muted as he is the worst chomper ever. He’s now a bit concerned about theri newfound friendship. “Her social game is pretty on point. If Nicole is not targetting Chrsitine, I’m sure she’s targeting me. I may have to rethink this.” Nicole, though, hasn’t forgotten that Christine is the one who gave her the boot.

It’s Frankie’s turn to lay out in the sun, and this time it’s with Derrick. Frankie says he’s pretty sure that Nicole is coming after him, and then lies that he doesn’t want to break up Team America, so he starts working on Derrick to save Donny. “God, I just want Nicole gone”, he says. “I mean, I don’t think I would have been on the block yet if it wasn’t for that bitch.”

They begin to talk about what would happen if Donny survived, and then won the next HOH. Who would he put up? “Cody and Christine”, answers Frankie. Derrick doesn’t believe that Cody would be included. “Who doesn’t like Cody? The kid walks on water.” Wait, what? Frankie thinks this is why he COULD go up. Frankie then babbles in the diary room that America must want Donny to survive, as he’s been put in Team America with him and Derrick. Um, dumbass, he was on Team America before you. They decide the decision must rest with Caleb, but it is probably better for them if Donny survives.

Frankie then heads in and complains that Nicole “has done a pretty good job of integrating”. Caleb looks out, and Nicole is playing pool with the other boys. “We know where she stands with us”, says an unconvinced Caleb. “It’s not a great place”, replies Frankie. “She wants me out of the house.” This seems to wake up Caleb’s feeble brain, as he then realizes there’s a good chance that he would be put up next to Frankie since she’s become friends with Christine again. “We are all too good for her to beat us”, concludes Caleb.

Ugh, the surf music comes on, which means it is Team America idiocy. Frankie reads the card, which explains how Julie is going to ask them about special have-not food. They have to reply, “apple pie”, and if Julie says yes then they have passed. He goes into his pitch on how he “put on a show for America. I hope we did impress you.” You didn’t. He heads into the fire room to explain this to Donny and Derrick. Frankie is confident they’re going to get their apple pie.

Back to the game, as Caleb is talking to Derrick about keeping Donny. “Nicole is a big threat”, he says. Derrick replies that Donny is smart, but Nicole is “smart and athletic”. Caleb points out that Nicole has beat them before in HOH comps...and I then get a weather alert!!! Damn you, KELO!!!

The alerts end as Julie heads to commercials. When we return, it’s time for the moment of truth. Frankie does seem pretty intense as Julie heads to the house for questions. Victoria is asked about her wisdom teeth, and she replies that she’s feeling “amazing”. Julie then announces that this will be the last week of Have-Nots, and Frankie gets the big question! “If you become a have-not, what special food would you like to request from Big Brother?” He replies that “ordinarily, I’d say tofu but that didn’t go over too well. I’ll go with my favorite dessert instead - apple pie!” Julie’s answer is that “I’d say that’s an overwhelming NO!!!”

YES! YES! YES!!! Frankie’s mouth couldn’t be open any bigger...but he quickly recovers. Meanwhile, Donny has a grin. He’s loving it.

Cody is then asked what he’s missing the most by being in the house for so long. “Gotta go with messing with my dad on a regular basis.” God, he’s boring. For some reason, they then get short clips from family members. Why? Oh, I know why. So we can see stupid Ariana Grande, and Frankie overreacting to it. The segment ends with a tearful Derrick talking about his daughter.

We then move on to Christine and Cody’s weird relationship, and their family’s reactions to it. I’m fast forwarding. I have stated my opinion of this already.

It’s now time for the big moment...and I have more weather alerts!!! Damn you, KELO!!!

I get my feed back when Christine comes in to vote to evict Donny, as does Victoria. Frankie is next, and he makes a show at also voting against Donny. Yep, Donny is toast. Caleb fulfills the procedure by voting against Donny, as does Derrick.

We must wait through a commercial break before Donny is given the news, though. He hugs them all, and leaves with a smile to a huge ovation. After a few wasted seconds of house footage, Julie begins by noting that he has tears in his eyes. “I’m a little emotional. I get emotional from time to time. My feellings was hurt and I just seen my brother. All kinds of emotions going through my mind, and my heart. I’ve got a big heart. A very big heart.”

Julie notes that “we saw that”, and asks him who hurt his feelings the most. “No one particularly hurt my feelings. I feel a little let down by Team America. America obviously voted us a team, and they kind of broke that, which I don’t blame them. It’s an individual game.”

Chen interrupts him, and asks if he intended to play alone. Wow, really? “I knew coming in with my age and what I look like that I was going to be different. If I made it past the first week, I could befriend people. I have an art of befriending people.” The crowd cheers, and Julie asks about how he was always on the block. He replies that he doesn’t understand why he was such a target. “Maybe likability is not that good in this game. Everyone that has come out this door...the majority has loved me. That’s not good for the remaining people in the house.” Julie points out that going to be super early was probably not a good idea. He says he had nothing in common with them, so sitting up all night would have been a waste of time. “In the beginning, I tried.”

This is followed up with all of the silly things the rest of the house has accused him of actually being, including a doctor, actor, and ninja. “I am just a simple man, and I WAS a groundskeeper. I resigned my position, and I pray that I get it back.”

The goodbye messages are then played, starting with Christine. She says he is one of the smartest people she’s ever met…”and one of the sneakiest, which is why I’ve been trying to get you out of here since week two.” Caleb says that if he wasn’t eliminated now, he’d probably win the game. Frankie then claims that he’s “100% Team America, but I can’t throw my own personal game out the window in order to save yours.” Derrick says that he tried to get him the necessary votes (lie), and that it “was a pleasure working with you”.

Before he’s sent packing, Donny is told by Julie that the Bold and the Beautiful wants him to make a guest appearance. He’s as flabbergasted as I am. Good for him.

It’s now HOH time, and it’s called “Sloppy the Snowman”. It’s one of those where they have to fill up cups, and the first to fill their “snowman” enough to grab their “piece of coal”. There’s also a smaller snowman that will win either “5,000 dollas/5,000 hollas”. They get five grand, but also will be harassed by shout outs. Hmmm, weird.

As you may expect, this comp doesn’t end before the segment ends, so it’s time for me to turn on the feeds. Before I go, though, I need to know what EVERYBODY thought about Frankie’s Team America failure! Tell me! Please!

 

Wednesday
Aug272014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 28 Recap

This will probably be a shorter than usual recap, as there are some things going to be shown tonight that I have zero interest in sitting through. I’m not going to be negative about them...oh wait, yes I will. I’ll rant a bit, but I just don’t see the point in screeching about these segments at length.

So let’s get going with the reactions to Cody’s (predictable) nominations of Donny and Nicole. Cody starts by talking how Donny is his number one target this week. “This guy has been slipping off the block a lot, so we need to make sure that he won’t slip off the block yet again.” We see Donny shaking Cody’s hand and telling him, “I would never target you. I’m by myself.”

Cody goes on to say that he had to put up Nicole “to appease my entire alliance”. No, you didn’t. Donny adds that he would have “been more surprised” if he wasn’t on the block. Frankie hugs him, and reminds him he’s the “veto king”. “It’s extremely important”, Donny adds, “to win veto this week. If I don’t, I’m probably going home.”

We must now endure Nicole’s voice, as she talks about feeling “deja vu all over again” by being on the block after we see footage of Cody hugging her. She heads into the bathroom and hugs Donny.

In the living room, Caleb complains that Donny is now going to “get Nicole to get us all to turn on each other”. Caleb is still not convinced Donny is just a groundskeeper. “He’s a genius.” Oh Caleb, you’ve been living with him for two months now. Stop it. Caleb goes on to tell Cody and Derrick how his eyes are constantly moving around the house. “Why?”, asks Cody. It’s because he’s a genius. “He’s so smart he’s thinking when he’s not thinking.” Um, ok. Caleb is a dummy, and is now convinced Donny worked with intelligence in the Army. “I just read people very well.”

Derrick now heads into the HOH, and Cody asks him about putting up Frankie if Donny comes down. “You’re talking big boy moves”, replies Derrick. Yeah, this idea is immediately flushed, despite how long they broadcast the ensuing conversation...and Cody’s scripted diary room.

The surf guitar comes on, and this means the latest Team America (Fuck No!) segment. Donny reads the card that says that Team America must create their own mission, and America will vote on its success. What a terrible idea.

Donny thinks the mission should be something to keep all of Team America together. He takes Derrick into the storage room and explains this week’s scenario. He adds his great idea, and Derrick replies that they have to get Frankie on board. In the diary room, Donny says that he believes America would want the three to stay together.

Moving on to Frankie, Donny again explains how they could make this work to save Donny. They could throw the veto comp to Donny, or win it and now use it but agree to vote out Nicole. “That’s so interesting”, replies Frankie.  

Oh wait, there’s Veronica. Or Velouria. or whatever her name is. She’s wearing sunglasses to cover up the fact that her face is swollen. She’s having “horrible pain” from her wisdom teeth, and opens her mouth to show Cody. There’s more footage of her whining in pain, and she believes she’s “gained 50 pounds in my cheek”.She’s called to the diary room, and Caleb yells at her that she looks great. As soon as she’s in, though, he starts making fun of her. Classy, Beastmode!

Christine and Derrick are now talking about how she may not be able to compete in the veto, and Victoria waddles past the two. “Hello, beautiful”, says Christine. Nicole asks how she’s doing as she heads into the toilet, and then you hear a crash. Nicole goes to see what’s going on, and finds her laying on the floor. She yells for Derrick, and they pull her out of the toilet. Production tells them that help is on the way, and you see medical staff coming in as we head to commercials.

Medics are dealing with her when the show comes back, and Nicole says she’s not used to dealing with people she knows as a nurse. Veronica is given oxygen, and carried into the diary room as the sad piano music comes on. Donny says he was very scared for her. “I said a little prayer for her.”

As the acoustic guitar music is introduced, Veronica walks back into the house. She says that she’s feeling a little better, and Donny says he was worried about her. “I am thankful for everybody who came and helped, and was concerned. It really showed how much my Big Brother family do care, and how much they do love me.”

Frankie and Derrick now talk about Donny’s idea. They’re not crazy about it, obviously. “I’m not doing that”, says Frankie. In the diary room, as he’s putting on makeup he claims that “America” would never want them to save Donny. You really are clueless, brother of famous pop star.

Derrick wants to do something funny instead, and says that since Frankie is the creative one that he should come up with something. No!!!!! “I’ll figure out something fun.”

Before we get to that idiocy, it’s time to pick veto players. Cody picks Christine, Nicole gets Derrick, and Donny gets Frankie (the one he didn’t want). Of course, Frankie overreacts as he knows this is a segment that will make TV.

Donny then heads into the fire room to talk to Derrick, who pretends to be torn about Donny’s future in the house. Donny talks about how alone he is in the house, and how everybody is so paranoid about him. “I’ve done nothing to none of them.” Derrick pulls out all the stops, and tells him how he’s such a special person that would get all of the money if he’s final two.

Frankie then walks in, and his idea for Team America is a Big Brother play. Ugh. This is awful. He explains why saving Donny wouldn’t work, but Donny counters how their two votes are almost enough alone to save them. “You sent Nicole before me the first time. You can just send Nicole home again, and send me home next and we’ll all get $5,000.” Frankie’s response is that they could just put on a play and make that money. Ugh. In the diary room, Donny talks about how Frankie has “never been on the Donny level in his life. Here’s an opportunity to work for America, and he wants to put on a play. I guess Operation Save Donny is just something they’re not interested in.” Preach on, Donny.

Derrick attempts to save face, and tells Donny that it’s not a done deal that Donny is going home. Donny asks what kind of play they could put on, and Frankie says to just leave it to him. Frankie leaves, and Donny thanks him for their chat. Derrick, always looking for a jury vote, lies to Donny and says that clearly Frankie isn’t as on board as he is. “I’m not sold on sending you home.” Yeah, right. I don’t buy the tears either.

More commercials before it’s veto comp time. Before it begins, Christine and Frankie talk about the annual “Stay and Fold”. She wants to throw it to somebody that is “good with numbers”, which, of course, means Frankie. Christine then tells Cody and Derrick the plan.

It is indeed that competition, tied to an awful new CBS show called Scorpion. Caleb reads the show’s promo text, and then the competitors get to look at the various things they’re going to be guessing.

They all read their diary room scripts about the importance of this comp, and then the game starts. The first question regards the number of pinwheels. Frankie reminds us how amazing he is at numbers for the fourth or fifth time, and I’m already bored as we go down the line with their answers. Everybody folds except for Donny and Frankie. The great news is that Frankie is the furthest from the correct answer, and the math wizard is out! (Have I said that I hate Frankie?)

The second question regards espresso cups, and everybody but Cody folds. Next up is the number of pieces of fruit, and everybody but Cody folds  again. He now has two of the needed three “passes”. The fourth question is about donuts, and this time they all again fold!!!! Cody is the winner of the veto! What the hell??? Oh yeah, and they also get to watch this awful TV show. Cody picks Nicole and Donny since he nominated them and made them have-nots.

Time for me to take a bathroom break, and maybe have a smoke as it’s time for the extended CBS promo for that awful show. Be back in a few minutes!

Oops, time to go take a dump as it’s followed by Frankie’s play. Nope, I have no interest. Please go to cbs.com and vote no for this week’s Team America!

It’s finally over, and Derrick is upset that he hasn’t been able to tell Cody what to do for two days. He gets him alone, and says that they need to separate Christine, Frankie, and Caleb. Cody again claims that he wants to use the veto to put up Frankie, and doesn’t trust Christine at all. Cody, as usual, talks tough in the diary room, saying that he doesn’t want to look weak by not taking a shot when he can. What a loser. You don’t even have to see the last few minutes to know what he ultimately did.

The answer to that last sentence happens after the final commercials of the evening. Cody stares at the wall and again talks about big decisions...and then ultimately does nothing. It’s the story of his season. There’s some more blah blah blah, and that’s it.

So you’re all going to head to CBS.com and vote no on Frankie’s terrible play? And send some condolences to Veronica’s wisdom teeth. Otherwise, what did you think of tonight’s episode? Tell us your thoughts!

 

Sunday
Aug242014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 27 Recap

Well...Zach is gone and Nicole is back. Tonight we’ll see the ramifications of that switch out, the HOH competition, lots of filler, and nominations. With Battle of the Block over, this will be a return to the Sunday format of previous seasons. While I’m thankful that the awful dual HOH’s is finished, at this point in the season it’s going to be harder and harder to sustain my interest.

We start off tonight’s broadcast with a flashback to Thursday’s comp that brought Nicole back to the game. Jocasta hugs her, and Nicole yells in the diary room how excited she is to return. Hayden hugs her and whispers that she needs to go after Derrick and Cody. Oh, how I wish that could happen. Derrick says she is not his “number one choice to come back in the house”, and Frankie talks about how phony they acted about her coming back. “We can’t wait to get her and Donny out of the house.”

She hugs Donny, who is ecstatic. “She’s a good friend of mine. She’s someone I can work with, and she also is a very smart person. Maybe the other side will see her as a bigger threat than me, and go after her again.” Jocasta hugs her again, and tells her to stick with Donny. “I want you to win. I want you to win, baby. You hear me? I’m going to pray for you every night.” Will she speak in tongues again? Wait, she kisses her on the lips! Oh, you naughty devil, Jocasta!

Back inside, Christine is not happy. How unusual. Caleb is upset at the audacity that there are now two people who will work together. “It makes me mad”, replies Christine. Um, there are six of you. Shut up! Of course, Christine has reason to be mad, as she is the reason that Nicole was evicted.

Frankie, Cody, and Caleb are now in the fire room, and Cody is also paranoid that Donny is actually going to get some help. “He’s got somebody he can walk and whisper with.” Just idiocy, Cody. Derrick comes in the room, and gives Cody and Christine a pep talk. “We have to stay united. There’s a chance she can win HOH, but that’s a worse case scenario. That being said, she is going to try to wedge herself back in.”

Sitting at the table, Donny fills in Nicole about how Christine threw the last Battle of the Block, and how she handed a bone to the other team. He also tells her about the skittles fiasco. He’s happy to have a friend again, as “every one of them is against me”. Victoria is listening to all of this, and as she walks away Donny makes a crack about how “she doesn’t know she is here. She has no clue.”  Nicole remarks that Victoria is just going to report everything he just said, but Donny replies that it doesn’t matter.

The boys are stil in the fire room, and they’re now paranoid about Christine. “If anybody is going to start blabber, it’s probably going to be Christine”, says Derrick. Victoria then walks in and fills them in on what she heard. Derrick tells her that nobody has anything to be worried about, and Cody complains in the diary room how Donny has been trying to get them to turn on each other. The audacity of that man! We see a flashback to his conversation with Cody from earlier in the week, and Cody then running to Christine with the info. Derrick is pissed about that. “I’m not going to watch him destroy my game.”

Nicole then fills in Donny on how Derrick and Cody are her targets. Caleb then walks into the room to check on soem food he’s cooking. After he leaves, she reminds him that they have to win HOH. “Game on.”

Caleb returns and reports on the nothingness he witnessed. Derrick then instructs them to never talk to them alone. “We stick together, we win HOH, we put them up together, and we’re back to where we were.” He goes on to say how if they win HOH this will be an easy week for them...and the audience sighs because this means a boring week.

We head to commercials, and when we return it’s time for filler. Old filler. Frankie is preparing fish, and Caleb does some Steven Segall moves. Come on. This is dumb, especially with the added sound effects.

The silly music then comes on, which means it’s HOH competition time. it’s a boxing themed comp, complete with phony Rocky music. Even worse, Frankie is the host so he turns up his idiocy that much more. The comp works with past house events, and they must figure out which day each event happened, using a combo of five and seven point “punches”. If they’re wrong, they have to start over.

We get the usual “I have to win this” diary room comments, and the first round then begins. Oh yeah, and Christine gets the honor or repeating the rules we just heard from Frankie. Why do they do this? Everybody has trouble with the first question, especially Victoria (surprise, surprise). Christine gets the correct number the quickest, and it’s finally down to Victoria and Nicole. Somehow Victoria gets it right, and Nicole is out. She’s obviously embarrassed to lose to Victoria.

The second round is about Joey’s alter ego, and is then lost by Victoria, who makes an obvious joke about how nobody even remembers Joey. Next up is Brittany’s soccer event, and it’s between Caleb and Christine. Caleb gets it right, and Christine is mad again.

Round four involves Pow Pow, and Donny is first, followed by Cody. Derrick is next, which means Caleb is out. It’s now between Donny, Derrick, and Cody. Devin’s nomination is the next question, and Donny is the first to get it right, followed by Cody. Derrick is now out.

It’s now down to Caleb versus Donny. After we sit through commercials, and the entire cast talking about how important this comp is once again, he question for the finale involves Amber winning Battle of the Block. Cody and Donny both get it wrong initially, and have to keep returning. Finally, Cody hits the buzzer just before Donny, and the Detonators go nuts. Derrick loves this, because that blood they’re all so scared about will belong to Cody instead of him. Nicole and Donny both know they’re in trouble.

Back in the house, the boys celebrate...and complain more about Christine. Yes, Derrick is starting the process of getting rid of Christine. We like to call that the Britney move.

Nicole and Donny are in the kitchen putting on their sad faces. He thinks that Nicole needs to go talk to Cody, but she doesn’t think it will do any good. Cody then walks in and Donny congratulates him.

Time for more filler, as we have to endure Cody’s HOH reveal.

After it’s over, Nicole then attempts to talk to Cody in the HOH. She tells him that she feels awkward and helpless. He tells her that he wants Donny out, and that he’s the one responsible for evicting her and Hayden. She doesn’t want to talk about that, though, and tells him that he has to worry about Frankie and Caleb. “You have to make a big move in this game...it would be good to keep me around so I can do work for you. You know I have nobody.” She promises not to run to Donny with any info, and Cody pretends to act like he’s contemplating doing just that.

Derrick then comes into the room to give Cody his marching orders. He informs Cody that eventually Nicole is going to come to him with an offer, but he must ignore her although Donny is this week’s target. Cody then says he’d rather have Nicole around than Christine because she is more unpredictable, plays both sides, and does nothing for them. Interesting!

After more commercials, we immediately know that filler is coming with the clown-ish music that introduces the segment. It’s Caleb, Frankie, and Victoria talking about how Derrick has changed since they came in the house, and Derrick talks about how his whole game plan is as an undercover cop. “BB Jump Street.” Seriously.

With that over, it’s time for Nicole/Hayden filler, even though he’s not in the house. She’s being interrogated by the others on how much she likes him. He would make her breakfast in the jury house, and how they kissed. What isn’t shown is how she admitted that they were forced to kiss for the cameras.

Donny is then shown walking up to the HOH, and he shrugs his shoulders as it to say it’s worth a try. Cody is sleeping, though, and Donny turns on the light to wake him up. He apologizes but says that he has to talk to him before nominations. He asks if he should expect to be nominated, and reminds him of what they talked about earlier this week. “They’re going to keep Victoria because she can’t win.” He really hopes that he won’t be nominated, and promises to help him if this happens. He continues on about how he and Nicole has done nothing wrong but comps have been thrown and “deliberately done bad things” to them. Cody admits in the diary room that Donny is making sense, so maybe he needs to consider the offer. Really, he said that, although it was clearly scripted by production.

Finally, Donny is shown outside talking to Derrick. He asks if there’s a Team America mission yet, and Derrick then asks him what he thinks about the whole game. Donny says that at first he was into it as they talked about being together. Derrick then admits that they all find him to be a target as he’s “extremely intelligent”, and that he’s torn because it is actually “in my best interest for you to stay here”. Two weeks ago, though, Donny said he was here for himself and not for Team America. Donny reminds him that he was outnumbered then, too, but Derrick claims that it’s “been eating me alive”. They both say they love Team America, and Donny says it’s “all” he has. Derrick then says that he’s also been hearing that Donny has been targeting Derrick, and also claims in the diary room that he could save Donny if he wanted. His social game, though, is making him want Donny out. Donny also admits in the diary room that he doesn’t believe anything that Derrick is selling him.

It’s that moment that everybody knows what’s going to happen. Despite what Cody claims in the diary room, we know who the nominees are going to be. Yep, it’s Donny and Nicole. Shocker! Cody gives his usual “I love you as a person” bullshit reasons, and that Donny has been talking out of line, and that’s it.

They all give the usual “I want to win veto” comments and the episode is over! What did you think? Are you a believer of Caleb’s ninja skills? Or the potential of Christine screwing over the man she plays with every day? Will Donny survive? Tell us what you think!