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Wednesday
Sep172014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 38 Recap

Today was such a beautiful day! The reason for such a perfect day? It really has to be the fact that today is Day 1 AF (After Frankie). Last night, our summer long nightmare finally ended as Cody and Derrick finally had the guts and smarts to eliminate the most annoying presence in Big Brother history. Good job, boys, even if Caleb’s big mouth threatened to ruin the evening.

So tonight we narrow the field down to this season’s final three. Who will survive? We know that Derrick has a place in the finals thanks to his HOH victory last night. Will Cody have called somebody out for the last time this year? Wait, he’s only threatened to do that. Will Caleb go beastmode on somebody’s ass? Will Victoria pull out the most shocking veto win of the season? Let’s find out!

After Julie’s intro, tonight’s episode commences with a look back at the moment Frankie left. They all kind of make fun of him, and Derrick explains that “it was tiem to let him go”. We then see Frankie ask Derrick about whether he’d stay 5 ½ hours before the taping. Derrick tells him that he’s going, and adds he can’t lie to him. Hmmm, complete with “tragedy” music. Frankie begins crying, and thanks Derrick. When told he’s “the best player in the game”, Frankie replies, “I know.” Ugh.

It’s now four hours before the eviction, and all of the boys are telling Frankie why he’s being evicted. Wait, why are they showing this? Our national nightmare is supposed to be over! As always, Frankie makes it about himself and says that by evicting him they have “created the most powerful person in this game”. Oh Lord. He’s being “reconnected with his millions of followers” (wtf?), and the jury. “Let’s face it. Whose the most convincing speaker in this house?” Victoria? Oh, it’s Frankie, who will “singlehandedly pick the winner of this game”. Caleb tells him to shut up, and Cody also disagrees. “You’re not Jesus in this house.” Caleb points out that everybody in the house has also been playing, and thinks he’d “smoke him” if they were the final two. Ok, now this is getting good. Derrick perks up, and says that he respects all of them as players.

We jump ahead to Derrick’s HOH win, and he’s (obviously) “ecstatic”. Back in the house, Cody is frustrated that he lost due to the last question. He just has to win the POV.

Derrick is upstairs, and the hollas begin playing again, including some from his wife and daughter. Cue the piano music! Obviously, he’s a proud papa, and it’s actually a nice moment.

The boys leave, and Derrick tells Victoria that she doesn’t have to campaign to him. He then talks in the diary room about how he has to say the right things to all three of them, as he’s promised final two deals with them all. Derrick reminds her that they still have to pretend to hate each other, and that she has to go on the block again. Victoria is proud of her work as an actress, and is confident that she’s not going anywhere.

Cody then comes up, and Derrick decides to let him decide if he goes up this time. He’s reminded that they have to win the veto to ensure they are final two. Caleb is going to be the target.

Caleb comes up, and he has to convince him to go up this time. “It doesn’t matter who I put up.” This is an unfair meeting of the minds, and Derrick talks circles around Beastmode’s feeble brain. “I don’t care, man”, he finally says. “Put me up if you want.” Ha! That didn’t take long.

With that, we move to the nominations ceremony. Yep, it’s Victoria and Caleb, who pretends to be mad and gives a fake karate chop to Derrick. There’s some dumb speeches, and Derrick tells Caleb to “crush” the veto. Let’s move on to the important stuff.

After commercials, we get some filler idiocy about Caleb. You know, the usual stuff about how he is going to be famous. We then go meet his family. Fast forward time.

More commercials, and we then get the veto competition. Oh wait, it’s the “most important veto comp of the summer”. You know, more important than last night’s, or the week before. This comp is a promo for the upcoming terrible show, Stalker, so it should be a natural for Caleb. They all have a “crime board puzzle”, and they have to match the clues to pictures of the cast. The first to put all the photos in the correct spot wins.

One doesn’t even have to really watch to know what happens here. Derrick is going to throw it, while Caleb and Victoria don’t have the brains to complete it. Yep, this is Cody’s to win...and he does. (BTW, the diary room voice overs are painful to endure.) Caleb, though, still believes he’s safe.

Then there’s another wait to promote the horrific CBS fall lineup before we get to the veto ceremony and eviction. Wait, we get more house footage before that??? Come on, let’s get to it!

The boys jump around in celebration, and Caleb is convinced that he’s staying. Derrick is starting to feel guilty, but he says that the “loves his family a bit more”. Caleb continues to babble on about loyalty after Derrick walks away. Cody says in the diary room that he’s not really paying attention, as Caleb is “no longer needed”.

And there’s even more commercials!!! Hey Ms Chen, can we hurry this along? Ok, here we go. Hahaha, they have audio issues and can’t hear Julie! This is awesome! It’s fixed, and it’s clear that Caleb now understands what’s happening. He’s not happy.

There’s no actual veto ceremony as there’s no replacement nominee available. Victoria is asked if she has anybody left to thank after nine nominations, and she doesn’t quite get that it’s her turn to stand up. It’s her typical useless speech. Caleb starts off by thanking God, and the troops and family. “At the end of the day”...blah blah blah. He talks about loyalty, and how they’re safe because of him. Victoria shoots him an evil glance when Caleb says that she hasn’t had a chance to show loyalty as she has yet to win anything. POW!!!

Cody is then asked to make the sole vote, and he says that both of them have been loyal to him. He then says that Derrick made a final two deal with him on day two called the “Hitmen”, and that they’re decision on who to evict is to help make them get to final two. Caleb is then evicted.

An obviously angry Caleb hugs everybody, and heads out to cheers. Julie asks what’s going through his mind, and Caleb says that you “have to expect things of this nature to happen”. He throws out a “Beastmode”, and Julie asks why he’s most disappointed in Derrick. Again, the answer makes no sense. Julie follows it up by asking if loyalty, including volunteering to be nominated four time, “cost” him the game, and Caleb says that’s possible. He’s also asked if he regrets evicting Frankie, and Caleb (thankfully) says no way, and that he “showed a lot about his character that day”. He “tooted his own horn” the whole game.

Goodbye messages are then played, and Caleb is gone. Goodbye, Beastmode. It’s been an experience.

There’s a few minutes left in the show, so we go back to the house one last time after Julie runs through the schedule of the last two episodes. Oh wait, there’s no chatter, just a camera as they open a bottle of champagne to celebrate making the final three.

So that’s it! Are you happy with the eviction of Beastmode? Were you annoyed that somehow they found room for more Frankie footage? Tell us what you think!

 

 

Saturday
Sep062014

Big Brother Gossip Show #412: Button Pushers

Thanks to the fact that the house pushed the magic button, nothing that happened this week really matters. Next Wednesday, the season will be reset to where we left off on Thursday. We still found plenty of stuff to chat about, including some rants about the Jeff and Jordan engagement, Christine's boos, and Victoria's questions about sex.

Grab this from the usual sources, including Scott's The Ledge app, or...

DIRECTLY STREAM OR DOWNLOAD BY CLICKING HERE!!!

Thanks to Mike and Colette for their great contributions to this episode, and for Ash with the audio clips.

Thursday
Sep042014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 32 Recap

Even in the most tepid seasons, double eviction are quite fun. Tonight should be no exception, especially if the ringmaster doesn’t get his way. Or, even better, a certain relative of a famous pop star walks out that door.

Adding to the suspense, Julie Chen (or her assistant) tweeted out an ominous picture of a button inside a glass box, along with the promise of a “new twist”. Yesterday, the feeds had gone down for a few hours as the Have-Not room was cleared out. Could there be a special deal where one trades safety for a certain time (24 hours or so) locked in that room?

There’s other business to attend to before we get to that moment, including the boring and predictable nomination of Victoria to replace Christine as the second nominee to sit next to Nicole. For some reason, we start off with Frankie and Caleb talking about what they want to have for dinner. Oh, they’re doing it to torment Nicole, who is a Have-Not. She’s not happy. “I just feel like they’re heartless...I’m just so pissed.”

She heads into the fire room to break down in tears with Nicole. “It’s sad that this girl is so willing to make big moves than big Beastmode because he wants this five foot two, blonde girl who is alone in the game out of the house. How does it benefit him? I don’t know.” Victoria replies that she thought he was going to put up Frankie, but Nicole says he didn’t “because he’s a wimp”.

Up in the HOH, Caleb is talking to Frankie. He doesn’t want to hide anything from Frankie, so he (stupidly) admits that he gave some thought to putting up Frankie. This may be the dumbest conversation of the year. Caleb, if things don’t work as planned tonight, Frankie will probably dump your ass, despite what he says in this chat. His diary room reasoning is that he didn’t want somebody else telling him, and he does save himself a bit by including what the others said. Oh wait, he does throw Cody under the bus. Maybe it wasn’t so dumb after all. Frankie concludes it by saying he is Caleb’s “biggest ally in the house”.

After some dumb dinosaur moves by Cody (why?), Derrick runs into Frankie in the bathroom. He asks him if he’s ok, and Frankie tells him that he knows about the previous night’s conversations. “It wasn’t anything serious”, Derrick lies, but then informs him that “he (Caleb) brought it up”. He says it’s all due to the fact that he’s paranoid all the time, and says he was never really concerned about it. Frankie doesn’t agree. “I’m not stupid. He was seriously considering it.” Derrick now has some work to do.

They head into the kitchen, and Derrick asks if he really thought he was in jeopardy. When Frankie says yes, Derrick responds that he doensn’t agree. Frankie then says that “if I do go out of this game, I want the knife to come from the front”. Derrick says that he has nothing to worry about from him, but Frankie says in the diary room that he’s not buying it.

In the bathroom, Derrick tells Cody what’s going down with Frankie. Cody thinks Caleb is an idiot, but Derrick downplays not only what Caleb told him but Frankie’s reaction. Cody says in the diary room that Frankie is still his main target. Derrick says that Christine has to go home next, but if she saves herself again then it has to be Frankie. “That’s why he should have fucking went home”, replies Cody. You dummy! Last week, you were HOH AND POV holder! You could have done this!

That’s it with old footage, as Julie now tells the house that it’s another double eviciton night (which they alerady knew anyway). Only Frankie pretends to be excited by the news. Anything to get on TV, I guess.

We jump right to final pleas, and Nicole thanks her family and then babbles about “forgetting to leave my heart at the door”. She thanks Victoria for being a “great friend”, and then tells the rest of them to “stop playing Big Baby. Let’s play Big Brother, and make some big game moves.” Good for her!

Julie says “well done”, and then Victoria flashes her panties before thanking her family. She says that she loves them all, and wants to stay in the house. Typical Victoria nothingness.

Voting then starts with Christine, who votes to evict Nicole, as does Derrick, Frankie, and Cody. As expected, Nicole is evicted for the second time. She hugs them all, and heads out the door.

Julie starts the interview by asking about the difficulty in returning to the game. Her reply is that the first HOH threw her off as she didn’t remember any dates. She is then asked about her thoughts on the final six, and Nicole says they’re all good and has no idea who is going to be in the finals. Julie follows it up by asking who will be the first to be targeted, and Nicole thinks it could be Frankie and Cody. Ugh, Julie also has to ask about Hayden. Nicole says “better than before”. Julie wraps it up by asking who she wants to see follow her tonight, and Nicole replies “sorry, ladies, but probably Cody and Christine”.

After commercials, it’s HOH comp time, and not surprisingly, it’s a question comp called “What the Bleep”. A series of videos from evicted houseguests are played with a word bleeped, and they have to say true or false to what Julie says could be the bleeped word.

The first question is from Donny’s HOH letter, and Derrick is the ONLY person who gets it right. Really??? What the hell??? (I don’t think he wanted to win this comp.)

When we come back from commercials, Derrick is alone in the fire room. Victoria is shown coming in to talk to him, and he hugs her as he tells her that she has to go up. His target is either Christine or Frankie. Christine then comes in and hugs him, and tells him to “do whatever you want”. Caleb comes in next, and he tells him the Christine/Frankie plan. “Let’s do it”, he says to the camera that’s not on his face.

Julie calls everyone (well, only Derrick is not in there already), and he has to now nominate. He says that after talking to everybody he’s not going to make any waves, and this means that Victoria and Christine are nominated. “Nothing personal; going with the house.”

There’s another series of adverts before the veto competition. This one is a maze (big shocker) called “Mazed and Confused”, and they have to navigate a ball through three “crop circle mazes”. Frankie is the first to the second maze, followed by Christine, Caleb, and Cody. Frankie gets to the third maze (dammit), and jumps way ahead. Yes, he wins. Ugh, our big chance to be rid of him for this season!!!

There’s lots of dead air before the commercials, which also seem to go on FOREVER, before we get to the veto ceremony. We come back to see him talking to Derrick, and it’s a tedious, self-important convo on both sides. Derrick wants safety for next week, and Frankie sort of tells him yes. Julie announces just one more minute before the ceremony, and Caleb and Cody both run in. It’s worthless. Come on. Let’s just get to it!

Finally! Julie struggles with reading the rules, and we have to get through the pleas before the actual decision. Neither Christine or Victoria say anything worthy of repeating, and Frankie announces that he’s not using the veto.

There’s even MORE commercials before we get to the voting. Ugh, they have to plead some more. Christine says “Tim is hot” and she misses him. She giggles and says basically nothing, as does Victoria. Seriously, why are they doing this?

Voting FINALLY begins with Frankie, who votes to evict Christine, as does Caleb and Cody. Another boring unanimous vote. CBS pumps up the dramatic music, but it does nothing to create any real tension. Julie announces the vote, and Christine heads out without any hugs or goodbyes. You’ve just been Britney’d, girl. Wow, she was booed as she walked out, and the house heard it! Frankie says that it was indeed proof that “we made the right choice”.

Julie asks why she didn’t say goodbye to anybody. “These were your Detonators.” Christine replies that she was expecting it. Julie then asks if she regrets turning on Hayden and Nicole. She does regret it, but she says that doesn’t mean that she would have lasted longer. The subject of Victoria is brought up, and Christine says that since she’s terrible at competitions they know they can beat her in the final.

Cody is then brought up to a few hisses in the audience, and Christine says that they were just friends. “He had a hilarious personality. I thought he was really funny.” She is mad that he voted her out, but she’s mad at them all for that. That’s it for Christine!

Before we head out, Julie shows us the mysterious button. If it’s pushed in the next few days, then whatever happens this week will be stopped. The nominees will come down, and the final week will be replayed. I guess my prediction was wrong, but it made more sense than that silliness. Ugh, and Jeff and Jordan will be on. The final moments then feature the house looking at said buttong.

So we’re now finished. What did you think? Are you happy that Christine joined Nicole out the door? Are you disappointed that Frankie won veto? Talk it out, my friends!

 

Wednesday
Sep032014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 31 Recap

As I stated in a post earlier today, tonight’s episode is a tease. A huge tease. There will be a few moments where the vast majority of you will cheer, and will actually be excited for the last few weeks of the season.

Don’t get too pumped, though, as there will be an almost instant deflation. A devastating turn of events. I’m getting upset just thinking about it.

So let’s get this over with it, starting with the nominations of Nicole and Christine. Caleb says that Nicole is the actual target, and if she somehow stays she’s going to come after him “or one of my boys”. All Christine has to do, he adds, “is sit up there and look pretty”.

Derrick heads into the storage room with Caleb, and immediately gets a stupid “holla”. Caleb explains that although he’s a “country boy” and Nicole’s a “country girl”, they’re both playing completely different games. Derrick agrees, but in the diary room confides that he actually wants Christine to head out the door. “Frankly, I’m not a big fan of her.” He’s now just waiting for the results of the veto competition to make this happen.

We move on to Christine alone in the fire room. “I hate them”, she says about the boys. “I’ve done so much fucking crap for the stupid Detonators and stupid Bomb Squad, and every time I fucking get put up on the block or screwed over. I’m so tired of it.” She has to win the veto, obviously.

Nicole now comes into the storage room to get some consoling from Derrick. First, we get her godawful diary room whine. She complains that it’s even harder to make it in the game after coming back into it. Derrick tries to convince her that he’s actually her allie, and the triumphant music comes up as the tears disappear. “Anytime you want to talk, I’m here”, says Derrick.

Upstairs, Cody and Caleb are having a meeting of the mind(less). They’re going through the scenarios surrounding the veto comp. Caleb says that Victoria will be the replacement nominee, but then adds “I’ll ask D(errick) to see what he says.” Yep, there’s everything that’s wrong with this season. Think for yourselves!!!

On cue, Derrick heads into the HOH. Caleb asks what would happen if Christine was able to save herself using the veto. Would she now come after him? Derrick replies that she will indeed be pissed, but she has to know that none of the guys are taking her to the end. He says that it wouldn’t bother him if Christine ended up going home if Nicole saves herself. He also reminds Caleb that Christine almost beat him in the HOH comp, and that Nicole is emotionally done even if she stays.

In the have-not room, Nicole is talking to Victoria. Nicole says that in the last few days they’ve gotten really close as they supposedly have the same views on those left in the house, and she wouldn’t know what to do without her companionship. They gossip a bit about Christine and Cody, and Victoria says she doesn’t like her. She goes on to say how stupid these people are to see her as a bigger threat than Christine, as she has nobody to work with. If Victoria wins the veto, Nicole hopes that she uses it on her. Victoria just shakes her head yes, but is more unresponsive to the idea. “I will not go down without a fight”, concludes Nicole.

More “hollas” for Derrick as he heads into the HOH. They talk about how hard it’s going to be in the final week, and Caleb spouts a lot of obvoius stuff. Derrick does his usual job of greasing up Caleb’s ego while also digging out some info. Derrick describes how he’s doing this in the diary room. After stroking his ego, Derrick then talks about how awful he is at competitions. “I think any one of you would beat me.” The third step is to throw a dig or two at the other competitiors, and for this exercise it’s Frankie and Cody. He tells Caleb that it would be a close fight between him and those two, unlike the ease he’d beat Derrick. Caleb eats it all up, and says that if he is the final HOH he is definitely taking Derrick. Mission accomplished. “That, people, is how you win five hundred thousand dollars.”

Now we see Christine talking to herself as she slowly walks upstairs to the HOH. “The last thing I want to do is hang out with these ‘Abominators’. They just put me on the block!” She heads in anyway, and Caleb says that if any of them win the veto they’re going to pull her down in favor of Victoria. Derrick, obviously, doesn’t agree with this, but is still keeping quiet.

(BTW, I just noticed that it’s not until this moment twelve minutes into the show that we’re forced to endure Frankie. Great job, producers!!!)

After commercials, we get to pick veto players. It’s kind of a wasted segment, though, as all but one person gets to play. To keep it short, and to ignore the “I have to win this” speeches, it’s everybody but Frankie that plays this week...which annoys him. It annoys him so much that he checks to see if he actually has a chip in the bag. “Unbelievable.”

Back upstairs, the boys talk about how nervous Frankie is starting to act. Caleb announces to both Cody and Derrick that he will always pick them over Frankie. Cody adds that he’s not the biggest fan of him, either, which leads to another “Derrick teaches us moment”. I’m already tired of this.

He’s now going to show us how to get the conversation “back on track”. Christine, obviously, is the real threat here, so he needs to deflect the chat away from Frankie. He points out that if Nicole saves herself, it’s actually Frankie she’s going to go after next week instead of Caleb, but if Christine stays Frankie will be safe. They all decide at that moment that if Nicole comes down then Christine has to go home.

It’s now veto comp time, and it’s a bomb-squad theme. The worst part about Frankie not playing is that he’s the host, and anytime he gets the hint of screen time he’s at his worst. Yes, it’s unbearable, especially his diary pun about “dropping an anvil” on Nicole like in the cartoons.

The comp involves videos that tell the players which wires they need to cut. If they do it wrong, their “bomb” will explode and they will be “blown out of the game”. The first person or persons out will have to wear a dinosaur outfit. Why, I don’t know.

We hear three different sets of instructions, along with the usual Nicole whine, before we begin. Oh yeah, we also get Mr. Perfect Derrick talking about his photographic mind. I guess tonight is when CBS officially crowns Derrick as the greatest Big Brother player ever.

Just after Cody says he’s confident about the game, his bomb blows up and he’s the first out. Yep, he has to wear the stupid costume. For some reason, this is also explained three different times. In the second round, Nicole attempts to create a song to help her remember the order of wires. “I have a terrible singing voice.” No, my dear, it’s your diary room voice that’s terrible. Ear-splitting, in fact. Ugh, they also have Caleb doing comedy bits here. Everybody is correct this time around.

For round three, though, Caleb goes out. Derrick doesn’t want to win, so he’s just sticking around long enough to look good. Before round four, Victoria talks about how good she’s playing, which obviously means she’s the next to go out...along with more scripted diary room comedy bits. They all get the next one right, and we head to commercials. Why can’t they just end this now? This is a terrible competition, and featuring even worse production on the retells.

When we return, Derrick cuts the wrong wire, but of course he tells us ahead of time that’s according to plan. Nicole’s bomb also blows up, which means that Christine has won the veto. Now what are you going to do, Derrick?

They all notice that Frankie ran and hugged Christine when she won. Caleb says that he may have a new replacement nominee. I don’t even really here what is said for the next couple of minutes, as my ears are still ringing from Nicole.

With the girls in the bathroom, Caleb reports that Frankie was whispering something into Christine’s ear. Apparently, he stopped as soon as he saw Caleb approach. Caleb wants to find out what was said. “It doesn’t really settle well with me.” (Yep, here’s our few minutes of hope.)

Cody raises the question to Christine in the kitchen, and she says that he said that if he had been allowed to play he would have made it as far as her in the comp. Cody says he may be able to use this as ammo.

Filler time, as the diary room calls Cody in to get his dinosaur costume. Fast forward time!

Back to the game, as Dinosaur Boy joins Caleb in the HOH. He reports to Caleb the story on how Frankie was bragging about how great he would have been in the comp. Caleb is pisse.d “What’s his deal?” Cody babbles about how he’ll probably take somebody like Christine to the final two, knowing that Caleb would probably take him. Got that?

After another commercial break, Caleb is talking to Derrick and Christine about how scared he is about Frankie winning the next HOH. He firmly believes that Frankie will cut him and/or Cody loose. In the diary room, he adds that if he makes this move, he needs the support of the entire (non-existent) Bomb Squad. Christine says that she can’t stand Frankie, and would “love for him to be backdoored”. Derrick explains in the diary room that he’s torn as to what to do. (BTW, all through this conversation we get shots of Frankie applying makeup.)

Back inside, Derrick and Cody carry on with this topic. Cody thinks it’s possibly better to keep Nicole over Frankie this week. He believes that if Frankie does win HOH, it won’t be Caleb on the block. It will be him and Derrick. A non-committal Derrick final says that he’s on board with any decision.

Sleeping in the Have-Not room, Nicole complains about the game mentality in the house. At some point, somebody has to actually make some big moves. She tells Derrick that she believes he’s playing the best, most strategic game ever. “You’re the closest thing to Dan I’ve ever come across.” Ugh, really? Derrick loves this, but wants her to keep this quiet.

This compliment so unnerves him that he heads up to the HOH to stop the “Evict Frankie” movement. He says he’s down with sending Frankie home, but creates the needed scenarios to ensure that Nicole is back to being the target. (Seriously, it’s not hard with this collection of no-minds.) Caleb reads the diary room script that says he’s now confused as to what to do, and we head to the show’s final commercial break.

Let’s get this over with. Christine looks at the memory wall, babbles a bit, calls the house in, and takes herself down. They all say what production wants to hear, and then Caleb puts up Victoria in Christine’s place.

That’s it. I’m angry. I swear that CBS allowed interns to put this together. It was horribly edited, horribly scripted, and just a garbage show. I apologize to those who hate my negative recaps, but I’m tired of this idiocy.

Do you agree? Should Frankie have been put up? Are they going over the top with their “Derrick is a genius” edit? Tells us what you think!