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Entries in big brother 15 (73)

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Jeremy

Jeremy McGuire, 23

Hometown: Katy, Texas

Current City: Katy, Texas

Boat Shop Associate

Although I’ve been pretty critical of recent seasons of Big Brother, I have been thankful that Grodner’s dirty parts don’t get crispy over “bro’s”. Sure, there were some people that thought of themselves as bro’s, but for the most part it was only in their mind. Sorry, Enzo, you weren’t a bro. You were a dope.

This year, I sense a change. Maybe Ms. Kassting has more to do with who we’re seeing. She’s a known UFC groupie, and if there is one “sport” that attracts bro’s, it’s that garbage.

What is a bro, you ask? First off, you have to be a douchebag that rarely wears shirts. And if you do, they are those godawful super-tight Ed Hardy shirts. Let’s go a step farther. Bro’s are the male equivalent of a “whoo-hoo” girl. They have the worst taste in everything – music, movies, pop culture. They admire the Kardashians, even the ugly one. They collect every John Mayer album, except for the blues ones. They believe they’re artsy because they once went to a Phish show.

Jeremy is a bro. Jeremy is a moron.

Jeremy is unemployed, and is “single ready to mingle”. Yes, that was one of his first sentences in the video. “I am planning on a showmance.” That’s his gameplan. Find a slut, hook up with her, and he’ll be on his way to the end. Gross.

The sad thing is that it may work. This is the kind of jackass I’d love to see eliminated the first week, but he probably will hook up with one of the bimbos and last for quite some time. It sickens me to type this, but he probably will be a part of the final five whose ultimate departure will probably occur during a double eviction night.

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Howard

Howard Overby, 29

Hometown: Hattiesburg, Miss.

Current City: Hattiesburg, Miss.

Youth Counselor

“God is a concept by which we measure our pain” – John Lennon

I don’t have much to say about Howard. He’s soft-spoken, likable, but way too much of his chatter is about his faith. It’s anything and everything about him, although, like all Jesus freak Big Brother contestants, there is wiggle room for cheating and lying.

Weirdly, there is also a big penis joke in the conversation…and then 30 seconds later we’re back to church talk.

He does actually seem to know the show a bit, name-dropping Kazer and Danielle (the first one, not the brat) as people he admires from the past.

Howard will do well. Being a youth counselor will help him mix with all different groups of people. The bro’s will love him, the girls will ogle him. Candice will follow him around with a marriage proposal in her dreams. He’ll be a comp king, although his big…feet…will hurt him in endurance comps (at least according to Brandon’s claims during his season). Look for him to be final four.

Friday
Jun212013

Helen Kim, 37

Hometown: Falls Church, Va.

Current City: Chicago, Ill.

Political Consultant

As soon as I clicked on Helen’s video I started thinking about the Netflix series, House of Cards. If you haven’t seen it, start watching it now! Or after Big Brother is finished, I guess. House of Cards is a political drama starring Kevin Spacey as a South Carolina Congressman, and the various behind the scenes wheeling and dealing of power.

Why did my thoughts roam to this show? Well, Helen works as a political consultant, and I can definitely see her wandering the halls of Congress in her power suit. Cut just above the knee, so a little leg can be shown but not enough to create gossip amongst the other staffers, Helen would fit right in on that show.

For some unknown reason, Helen isn’t going to reveal that she has such a sexy job. Beauty pageant consultants and lifeguards are just going to be too impressed by such a gig, and they’ll go after her right away. Um, no.

The political talk goes on a bit too long in this video. Well, it goes on way too long. I don’t give a shit about her views on the Republican party. It has nothing to do with Big Brother.

While I like her, she has some traits that are really annoying. She has a tendency to use 50 words when 5 will do the topic justice, and not only does she move her hands, her whole body writhes as she babbles.

She has two young children, and for some reason she thinks that being a mother will be an asset. That worked really well for Wah-mber, after all. Being a mother has somehow kept her from ever watching the live feeds in the past, though, which I guess is plausible.

She’s also playing for her Big Brother fanatic friend, who gave her a reference that helped her get on the show but died last week. This was a weird segment on the video, and I wonder if it is actually a Matt Hoffman type deal.

This is a smart woman, and if she can find somebody willing to work with her she could go a long way. She’s a bit older than the majority of the house (even at 37), though, so this may be a tough road for her. The key will be to downplay the mom and dead friend cards, and maybe ease up a bit on the motor mouth chatter. I’d like to see her go far, but I believe ultimately she’ll fail to meet sequester.

 

 

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - GinaMarie

GinaMarie Zimmerman, 32

Hometown: Brooklyn, N.Y.

Current City: Staten Island, N.Y.

Pageant Coordinator

How we handle stereotypes in this country is a bit confusing. Make a watermelon joke and you’re forced to go on an apology tour. Name a professional sports team after a derogatory term used against a culture that we massacred and you’re ok.

You almost need a handbook these days to know who or what is considered offensive. Immediately into this video, I quickly understood that ALL Italian stereotypes are cool to use. They’re funny and actually complimentary. Hell, add a bit of Long Island to the Italian clichés, and you have a laugh factory!

I had some high hopes for GinaMarie after seeing the half-naked modeling shots that have been floating around the web the last day or two. Unfortunately, there is a helluva lot of airbrushing going on in those shots.

Not that this woman is horrific looking. Not at all…and not that it matters. She’s relatively attractive, but I was hoping for this year’s version of JoJo. I wanted to get that bathtub meth lab going again, along with the whips, chains, and multi-use sex toys. Every house needs a dirty girl, and GinaMarie seemed to be the perfect candidate.

Too bad it’s not meant to be, and I should have figured that out when I read that her occupation is “pageant coordinator”. Gross. That means we’re going to hear a lot of really bad conversations between her and Candice about the “craziness” of beauty queen competitions. I hope most of those occur during Big Brother After Dark to help me fall asleep at night.

Like too many of these interviews, there is also too much focus on the “showmance” angle. Seriously, Jeff and Jordan are the worst thing to ever happen to Big Brother (for many reasons), simply because every contestant is now asked about whether they want to hook up in the house. Just stop it. Now.

As she rambled about how she hates certain kinds of girls, I began to zone out until one of the scariest noises in the world made me jump up in my chair. WTF was that high-pitched noise that comes close to that special frequency that only dogs can hear? That’s her laugh? Oh Lord.

GinaMarie may make it to jury, but just barely. Her belief that she’s smarter than she really is will eventually be what causes her demise.