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Entries in candice (18)

Saturday
Jun292013

A Day In The Life Of: Candice

(Note: In an effort to try something new this year, this post is the second of a new series of profiles. Throughout the season, I’m going to pick one person and try to follow them on the feeds all day. I have some doubt that I’ll be able to devote the necessary time to accomplish this, though. I’m starting off with the first nominees, as obviously this will be my only chance to get one of these peeps.)

Today, I’m following around Candice, the pageant girl who greatly annoyed me in her pre-show interviews. Apparently, she was involved in some blowout before the feeds went live, and this must be the reason she is on the block.

This is a good day to follow anybody around, as Big Brother allows them to sleep in pretty late. Around ten, she makes her way down to the kitchen, as she’s in charge of today’s breakfast. Aaryn mentions that her ass looked good in the dress she was wearing the previous night, and we get a bit of a flirtatious “donkey boot” discussion with Howard. She’s going to try to go all day without swearing, and anytime she does Howard has permission to spank her ass. “The question is, do you like being spanked”, replies Howard. “Oh yes.” Ok then.

Most of the house ends up outside while this marathon cooking session goes on. Seriously, two hours to make pancakes? It’s a bit of a success, I guess, although a bit later GinaMarie and Spencer are complaining about the amount of “extra junk” she added. Candice interrupts this conversation (which was about more than food), and GinaMarie flips her off when she leaves a few minutes later. GinaMarie tells Spencer that if the Elissa thing doesn’t work, then Jessie should go because Candice’s blow-ups “will make her a constant target”. What blowups? We haven’t seen anything.

For the rest of the house, the early afternoon is bikini time. Except for Candice. Just like Jessie yesterday, Candice disappears for hours, before she finally is shown on camera sitting with McCrae, Jessie, and Howard. This convo doesn’t last too long on the feeds, and a few minutes later we hear her being called into the diary room.

She is in out of the feeds for the rest of the afternoon. We do see her hovering around the photo booth after it was unveiled to the house, and is seen laying around outside. Yet she’s completely unseen during the various fights, including the fake one involving Elissa and Amanda. She reappears shortly after that one, though, kind of explaining to Aaryn and Jessie what happened. Game talk ends shortly after that, and we get some scintillating chatter about vaginal shaving, Evel Dick’s departure, and what roles each of them were cast. The only real game chatter is Candice saying that at this point, her “fate is in other’s hands”. She’s just going to enjoy her time, and live with the consequences.

More time passes before we see her laying on the HOH bed, talking to Helen and Andy. This discussion is about Elissa, and her decision to not fess up to being a Reilly. One theory is that she may be on a task of sorts to keep it a secret. Candice complains about how you can’t have a real conversation with her, and she throws out lines about charity work in chats that don’t have anything to do with such a thing. “She said it like fifty times.”

One complaint does make a bit of sense, though. Elissa has said a million times that she wanted to come in the house and create a girl’s alliance, but then does nothing but attack them. Helen heads out the door, and asks Candice if she is coming, too. “I think I want to have a little time.”

She disappears from the feeds again for hours, except for a couple of shots that show her and Jessie sleeping. There’s two of your nominees - sleeping off a very important day.

In the late afternoon, she shows up sitting around the hot tub, as Spencer and Adam are droning on about horror movies and comic books. She pipes in a bit about historical spots in New Orleans, but for the most part just listens to the others.

We’re now in the early evening, and Candice has me looking to sleep. Seriously, she has done nothing today! She admits to it, though, telling various people how she has slept away most of the day. She asks Spencer a couple of questions about how the feeds work, which he replies with erroneous information.

The rest of the night is similar. She pops up here and there, but has little to say. At one point, she babbles about her choice of favorite animals. Is it a smart move for a nominee to do nothing a day before the veto ceremony? In a house where something is going on at any moment, shouldn’t she be putting herself out there as a person that can be an asset? She’s clueless about the Moving Company, the Bieber Wiebers (or whatever they’re called), and every other little cluster of imbeciles! She’s not long for this game.

 

Thursday
Jun202013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Candice

Candice Stewart, 29

Hometown: New Orleans, La. 

Current City: Houston, Texas 

Pediatric Speech Therapist 

Pageant girls are a breed that needs to just die off immediately. This may be shocking to anybody that knows me, but I don’t have any time for them. I don’t care that they don’t know how to fix education, or their lack of knowledge on maps. 

Nothing about them is attractive to me. I don’t like their hair, makeup, or the way they talk. They’re nothing but Stepford Wives in training, looking for that third generation car dealership owner, or that ambulance-chasing lawyer who lucks into a class action suit that buys that mansion on the hill.

With that intro, it’s clear that Candice is a pageant girl. In fact, she was Miss Louisiana in 2004, and competed in Miss USA. Or is it Miss America? Miss World? Where’s that bitch from the Atlanta Real Housewives to set me straight?

I will give her credit for revealing that she didn’t apply for Big Brother. They came to her. Let me guess. Was it that staffer that I mentioned a few entries ago that wet his whistle while at a Texas college? Miss Louisiana is living in Houston these days. My guess is that Grodner gave him a little call one night because she needed a new version of last year’s pageant queen. Remember her? The one that claimed to be runner-up Miss Arkansas? 

Nope, it wasn’t the same casting guy. She was sitting in a restaurant two years ago, and some woman came over and said she was in casting. Damn it, Grodner! What were you doing in Texas? You can’t use the same lines as your other staffers!

Candice does have the pageantry method of fake answers down to a science. When asked if she was a fan of the show, she says that it is “amazing” but admits she hasn’t seen every episode. My guess is she hasn’t seen a full week of episodes, outside of those they’re forced to sit through while in sequester. Her excuse is that she didn’t always have cable. Ok then.

She also desperately needs to get married. Like now. She will turn 30 in the house, you know (if she makes it to the end). “It don’t matter if it’s in the house, or at Wal-mart, or the Sizzler, or Christian Mingle, or my manager’s upscale strip club. God wants me to marry and have little pageant babies!”

Yep, she played the God card. “Faith” is her favorite word ever, and God will forgive her if she does bad things in the house because winning Big Brother is for the betterment of society. “It is a game, and He wants me to play it like poker. Lying is like bluffing, y’all.”

I’m not a third of my way through this, and she’s driving me crazy. She claims to not care about looks, as it is all about “inner beauty”. Sure it is. She also idolizes Jordan. Game over for me.

Here’s what will happen with this twit. Her voice, and the constant use of it, will drive EVERYBODY crazy. She goes early. The earlier the better.

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