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Wednesday
Jul032013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 4 Recap

I’m settled into my couch ready for the first eviction of the year. Will it be the boy-crazy Jessie? The no-nothing surfer dude, David? Or the whiney, living-on-the-coattails sister of Big Brother “royalty”, Elissa?

More importantly, will CBS make mention of the various controversies surrounding the show? At this point, with TMZ even weighing in, won’t they look like fools if they don’t?

So let’s start with the phoniness surrounding Elissa replacing Candice on the block. Remember, McCrae ended last night’s show by saying she was the real target, and CBS-only viewers fell for it hook, line, and sinker. She’s not. He was fulfilling a role for the rest of the house, and, more importantly, the CBS production team. Or was he? (See, I can also play that game.)

Ha, Julie did throw in a sly comment about people showing their “true colors” in her intro. To sum up the post-veto comments, McCrae hopes that Nick can get the votes to save Elissa, David isn’t worried, and Nick is pissed that McCrae put her up. Elissa says that McCrae “betrayyyyyyyyed mah twust”. She says she has to be “a little more open with some of these houseguests”.

We immediately see that, as she admits to a variety of people that she is Rachel’s sister and the MVP. Andy is impressed that she opened up to them, and Amanda agrees. “Maybe she’s human. Maybe.”

Jeremy is sitting outside with his boo, Kaitlin. For some reason, he tears open his shirt, and they have a laugh. Jeremy says “we’re vibing”, and we see them mauling each other. Kaitlin then apologizes to her dad. What a waste of time.

Back to Elissa, who is now again bonding with Judd and Helen. It really is the Elissa show, to my anger. But at least we get some J-U-DOUBLED, and this leads to a discussion that the house needs to save the booze until Judd is no longer a have-not.

This doesn’t work out, as the moron foursome decide to steal the wine about 45 minutes early. When the clock hits midnight, the have-nots, including Judd, are ready to drink. Unfortunately, there is no wine left.

Aaryn is upstairs admitting this to GinaMarie and Nick, while the rest of the house searches for the bottle. Helen is particularly fired up to eat and drink, and Aaryn complains that everybody is so two-faced. Uh, baby, it’s because you stole their wine!

She heads outside to whine some more, and reports that Amanda claims that she’ll put them up if they did steal the wine. That poor little Aaryan girl is sick of those people! She heads back inside with Jeremy, who admits that he was the rude one. “I feel great, and I don’t give a fuck.” He doesn’t want everybody else to yell at Aaryn and the others. What a bore.

He then heads back outside, and they all make fun of them. At the same time, Aaryn is impressed and can’t wait to get rid of “all of these jerks”. Good luck with that, little bitch. Amanda then comes out and yells at Jeremy, who tells her to “be quiet and listen”. For some reason, Helen starts bawling inside as Amanda continues to yell at Jeremy. Seriously, though, this is nothing compared to the other stuff that went on during that day.

After a commercial break, we head back to more house footage. Amanda is shown heading into the HOH, and we see their late-night banter (but not some of the more embarrassing stuff they did). McCrae does admit, though, that he’s scared of the “man eater”, and then the romantic music comes on as they start kissing. McCrae says it’s “pretty sweet” for a pizza boy like him to be with this high-end real estate agent.

Aaryn is now telling David that there is no way that he is going home. Yet, the next scene is a Judd, Amanda, and Spencer talking about how Elissa is going to win MVP every week, so she may be a valuable ally. “We’ll have the third nominee every week, no matter who is HOH.” Even my pal Judd makes some sense in this segment.

Spencer then goes on to Nick about this plan, who then moves on to Jeremy. He’s not so sure about this idea, though, but Nick convinces him it’s a good idea. Spencer keeps making the moves, now telling Howard and McCrae.

We quickly move to Julie addressing the house. The first question goes to Andy about the mood of the house, and he says it’s been “odd”. She then asks Helen about how much the third nominee changes the game. Yeah, you can predict the answer. “Anything’s up for grabs.” Julie then asks Judd about the have-not room, and he says he hates airports. “It’s a pretty shady airport”. We end the segment by asking Candice about being on the block before going off the block, and she gives a nonsensical pageant answer.

It’s already eviction time, but first we have the final pleas. Jessie goes first, and says happy birthday to her father and the usual “I love you guys” babble. Elissa is second, and goes full Rachel about how she’s a huge target. Ugh, she even does the “nothing gets between me and my” bullshit line. David is last, and he says he should be kept because he’s a “stand up guy”. God, he’s an idiot.

It’s now time to vote, and Amanda votes to evict David (to cheers, for some reason). Aaryn is next, and she votes to evict Elissa (to boos). Nick then votes to evict David, but Candice goes for Elissa. I see how this is going. Spencer then votes to evict David, and Kaitlin votes for Elissa. Next up is...commercial.

We return, and the pattern is the same. Helen votes against David, but Howard goes against that pattern (but against the Moving Company) by also voting against David. GinaMarie, though, votes against Elissa, but Judd goes against David. Jeremy votes against Elissa, and Andy against David.
Julie addresses the house, and David is out 7-5. There’s a stunned silence (except for a bleeped out word), but Aaryn is pissed! When we finally get to Julie’s interview, David has even less to say. Literally, nothing to say. Just head offstage, surfer boy! At least Amanda had a great goodbye message, saying his biggest mistake was hooking up with the “biggest bitch in the house”.

It’s now time for the HOH competition, and it’s called “BB-BBQ”. They are in teams, and they have to fill their cup with barbecue sauce. This is transferred to their partner, who then has to dump it in the jug. There are also smaller jugs that, when filled, allows you to grab a bigger cup. Oh yeah, and the floor is slippery.

This is a competition that will go on for quite some time, so stay tuned to the site for further news. Other than that, a big “F-U” to CBS for not dealing with the controversies from earlier this week!

Do you agree? Are you upset with CBS? Are you happy Elissa was saved? Or that silly Jessie didn’t get a single vote? Do you agree it’s bullshit that a MVP can repeat? Tell us what you thinK!

 

Wednesday
Jul032013

Enough!

I've had to shut off social media for the time being, as the circular discussions are driving me nuts. Just to be clear, I'm as shocked and offended by the various racial and sexual slurs uttered by over half the house as everybody else. 

But I can no longer handle the chatter.

Every one of those unfortunate comments is being rehashed and rehashed. We all know what was said! We all agree that it's horrible!

There's no coverup, though. The incidents (except for maybe one case of loose lips) all happened after Saturday's veto meeting. Sunday's show was already in the can at that point, and it also didn't fit Tuesday's timeline. Tonight is the night that it would be shown, during that opening segment that is usually present to make you believe the eviction is a tossup.

I predict some of it will be shown, and it is due to those that heard them on Sunday and Monday. It was those people that led to news outlets such as NPR, HuffPo, and other publications to report on the incidents. It was those people that are ultimately responsibel for Rachel Reilly's self-serving interview with TMZ earlier today.

Without it hitting the media, CBS could have easily swept the story under the rug. They're now forced to deal with it, and I'd be shocked if they didn't. If they do ignore it, then you can scream about conspiracies.

Until then, I'd like a couple of hours of other topics. Can you help a fella out?

Tuesday
Jul022013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 3 Recap

A word of warning before we begin. There’s a great chance that this recap is going to be a bit angrier than usual. There will probably even be a cuss word or two. It may even be cut off before the show is over.

Why, you ask? Because tonight looks to be a nightmare come true for me. One person is going to dominate the proceedings. A person who shouldn’t be in the house, in my opinion. A person whose voice is harder to understand than J-U-Double-D.

I’m sure you know exactly who I’m talking about, and there’s no way that the majority of TV time isn’t devoted to her. At the very least, there will be segments about how the house doesn’t like her, her (not very) shocking MVP win, her participation in the veto competition, and the final veto meeting. That’s not even including the inevitable cameo by her supposedly “legendary” family member.

So here we go, starting off with another endless recap of what we’ve seen already this year. Once finished, the show predictably provides diary room comments concerning the nominations of Candice and Jessie. You know the drill. The nominees are pissed, the HOH is happy, and most of the rest of the house is relieved it’s not them. Ok, it is funny when Candice says she’s not going to cry, and is then shown crying in the diary room.

Elissa is talking to Amanda, and is happy with the nominations as she thought she’d be the first person evicted. Standing just a foot or two away is Candice, who gives her the stink eye. In the diary room she says that she thought she’d be put up because she was Rachel’s sister. “i’m back in this game, and I’m going to win this season of Big Brother.”

In the storage room, Nick and Jeremy celebrate the success of The Moving Company. Nick really doesn’t care who is going home as long as it is not one of them.

Jessie is now in the HOH, and she is freaking out. McCrae tells her to cool out, and assures Jessie that she’s just a pawn. McCrae admits in the diary room that he doesn’t really care if she goes home or not. Candice joins the gathering, and immediately starts laying in to McCrae. “I guess I should have been your fucking shadow or something.” Jessie leaves, and McCrae says he “doesn’t do well with conflict”. He reminds her that there is a third nominee, but Candice is still pissed. She says that it is perceived that he is in an alliance with the other boys, but McCrae denies it. Of course, this means that Candice is definitely going to win veto. “Game on for everybody.” Where is this Candice on the feeds?

We move on to MVP talk. Jeremy is wondering who it may be, and Jessie actually has a coherent thought. She believes it will be Elissa, thanks to her sister. Jeremy doesn’t like this favoritism. Just in case you forgot about the Rachel/Elissa connection, we get yet ANOTHER montage of every house guest predicting that Elissa will win thanks to Rachel.

This comes to a head when a number of people are in the HOH with Elissa, and Jeremy and Amanda are talking about this very fact. Elissa is coy, though. “I think my sister’s fans are going to vote for me, because she has awesome fans.” She then says her sister is a supermodel, and claims to be related to Giselle Buncheon. Jeremy is confused, as he has no idea who Giselle is.

Now we get the MVP segment. A barefooted lass heads into the diary room, and sure enough it is Elissa. She opens an envelope that announces her victory, and is shocked. SHOCKED! “This is crazy!” She goes into full Rachel mode to thank America for her victory.

Elissa then heads into the HOH with McCrae, and she tells him that she has indeed won. “I am so flattered, and so excited.” She says in the diary room that she wants him to help her pick that third nominee, and McCrae couldn’t be happier. He immediately points to David, because he is such an awesome competitor!

Elissa isn’t so sure, though. She thinks Nick is a “bigger threat”. She then asks for a promise not to put her up, and McCrae says that he HAS to if somebody is to be replaced. This does not make Elissa happy. “Why would you do that? This changes everything.” He tries to reassure her that she would be safe, but Elissa’s frozen mouth almost moves into a frowning position.

After commercials, it is time for filler. At least it’s not Elissa filler. Well, it’s almost worse, as we have to endure the Aaryn/David relationship. David informs her that he lives with his mother, and only works during the summer. Aaryn can’t believe it, but he thinks that she thinks it’s cool. No, she doesn’t.

With that, we move on to the unveiling of the MVP nomination. Elissa has “secretly” chosen...drum roll please...David. Aaryn is pissed! Even more pissed than David, who thinks he is the “most likable guy in the house”. Elissa explains that she did it to possibly get McCrae to not put her up as a replacement nominee.

It’s now time to choose the veto players. In a change from last year, David has to pick both of the other players. He pulls out Howard and Elissa’s names. Candice says she has to “bring her Candy Land A-Game if I want to win this veto”.

WIth the meeting adjourned, David and Aaryn head into the bedroom for some dry humping. That’s the way to cheer up a surfer. David, though, is still confused and betrayed. “I feel like the whole house is against me.” He thinks the entire house wants him gone, but everybody else that comes into the bedroom are just as confused.

Poor Aaryn is upset, though, that David would actually think any negative thoughts about her. “I’m all about helping him out. I care about him way more than the game.” She hides away in the photo booth area to cry until David comes along to apologize.

Oh, the little Aryan youth is pissed, and lays into him for making him cry in front of everybody. “It feels like betrayal.” David says that he’s “mind-boggled” that she’s pissed at him when it’s him that is on the block. “I didn’t realize it was that dramatic of a situation.” He asks her if they’re good, and she continues to bitch at him.

Elissa enters the bedroom where Jeremy and Jessie are sitting, and asks them who they believe won MVP. “You didn’t get it with all of your fans?” Jeremy complains that she had said that she’d win with all of her sister’s fans. “I never said that”, replies Elissa. In case you forgot, the clip from ten minutes earlier was played. Jeremy is pissed.

McCrae and Amanda are now in the HOH, and Amanda says that he can’t win the veto or he’ll look like “too much of a threat”. McCrae says he hopes he can trust her, and this pisses her off. He decides that the way to get her to trust him is to share a “juicy secret” with her, and informs Amanda that Elissa won MVP. She is not to share it with anybody. Amanda wants her to “come clean soon, or she’ll have a bigger target on her”.

Elissa then head into the HOH, and McCrae tells her that he just old Amanda the big secret. “You’re screwing me over! You hate me! I thought we were working together!” Downstairs, Amanda is recruiting people to “save” McCrae.

Jeremy wants to clear up the sister comments, and she claims she never said them. Elissa explains who Giselle is to Jeremy, who says that if he won MVP he’d tell her. For some reason, though, Elissa believes this is abusive behavior. Now Jeremy is a dope who in the house has shown some questionable traits, but he’s actually cool and calm here while Elissa goes into full Rachel mode.

It’s now veto competition time, and GinaMarie screeches something about some person from the American Baking Competition show hosting the event. I have no idea who this person is, or what show she’s is talking about. They head outside, and Howard is pleased he is going to see “honeys in honey”.

The competition is called the Big Brother Baking Competition. They have to crawl through the honey to the batter, where giant “blueberries” contain letters. Then those letters are to be used to spell a word. The longest word correctly spelled wins.

After the usual “I need to win” comments, the competition begins. I won’t bore you with the usual wacky comments from the competitors, and will just jump to the results. Howard correctly spelled “sailing”, but he doesn’t want to win. Jessie spelled “tumbled”, to tie Howard (who still is in the lead). Candice completely failed, spelling “rafts”. Amanda is not impressed. “Has nobody taken a third grade English class?”

David is even worse. He doesn’t have a word, which makes Andy laugh. Elissa then unveils her word, or should I say words, as she claims “potroasts” is a word. It’s obviously not. She’s “devastated”. It’s all up to McCrae, and he wins by default by spelling “delivery”. Even without trying, he has won veto. “This is like a huge pizza delivery with no tip.”

It’s time for some filler again, as Elissa and Helen talk about how hard it is to be on the show. At least Helen actually makes an appearance on tonight’s show. Helen says it’s “important for me to keep her spirits up”.

Back outside, Elissa ask to talk to McCrae, as she feels she has been betrayed by him. She attempts to talk him out of putting her up. It’s just not fair, as Jessie and Candice didn’t have a target on them like she has. Wait, have I heard this before? He says that he has to put her up, but that doesn’t mean she’s going home. McCrae admits to feeling guilty, but fourteen allies are better than one. “I can’t go against the wishes of the house.”

McCrae is now in the HOH, and Nick comes in to talk to him. He thinks the Moving Company shouldn’t use the veto at all to ensure “Blondie” goes home. Nick thinks that Elissa can be useful to them, and that David needs to go home. “He’s a mega threat.” McCrae, though, thinks he’ll be “target number one” if he doesn’t put her up, and says he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

It’s now that time. Everybody fulfills their camera obligations. McCrae stares at the wall of keys, while the nominees and other cast members talk about how they don’t want to be on the block. McCrae finally calls them into the house, and announces that he is going to use the veto on Candice. She is then replaced by Elissa, and says it is because she “creates a lot of waves in here, and it would be better for the harmony of the house if you went home this week.”

You can guess the final comments. Candice is happy, Aaryn is not worried, and David is “not too thrilled”. Elissa gets the last word, and she is “really sad” to be on the block. “He betrayed my trust.” Oh wait, the real final word comes from McCrae, who says that Elissa is NOT the actual target.

There you have it. The Elissa Show, featuring fifteen other co-stars! What did you think of tonight’s episode? Are you starting to believe that Aryn is a controlling little twit? Or that David may be the dumbest person to ever appear on Big Brother? Comments please. Pretty please?

 

Monday
Jul012013

A Day In The Life Of: David

Today’s person of choice is America’s favorite surfer dude. A man who somehow has shown himself to the Big Brother powers as a physical threat who should be eliminated as soon as possible. A man who is in love with the Queen of the Aryan nation.

Most importantly, he’s a man who is oblivious to what is going on around him. He’s not fazed by going up as a replacement nominee. It’s all cool, dude. As long as he gets some sun, a nap or two, and a cute little blonde hanging onto him, everything is alright.

This particular day isn’t much different from most. He’s one of the last to rise, and does very little once he does wake up. He plops himself down on the living room couch, and has a chat with Andy. Or, to be quite honest, Andy does the talking. Its rare that you get a word in once he gets going, but David does query him on when he came out to his parents.

He then disappears for awhile again, but is then seen outside laying out by the pool with his boo. Let’s be real. As cute as she is, and even forgetting her non-PC comments, Aaryn is a needy little twit. She rambles on and on about nothing and everything. She has plans to move to L.A., or New York (with GinaMarie), or maybe even somewhere with him. She golfed once, and was great. She’s sick of school. It just goes on and on.

David is her perfect foil. He just smiles, nods his head, holds her hand, and occasionally says things like “you are the smartest, wittiest, most beautiful girl in Big Brother history”. He’s clearly desperate to get that dick wet.

After another period where he’s not found on the cams, until he’s again found with his lady friend. Kaitlin is cleaning the shower, and Aaryn bitches about how her sheets are dirty and that David hasn’t showered in two days. He’s a bit offended. “I do shower...after comps!”

The topic of dirt carries on for awhile longer, as they head into the bedroom. David’s clothes are piled all over the floor, as is their other meathead roommate, Jeremy. Once again, it’s not his fault. “Black Candice”, after all, has slept on those sheets, which brings on this comment from Aaryn - “at least it wasn’t Asian eyes”. Oh dear.

David is again a non-factor in the early evening. He’s seen tossing a sandbag for a bit, and is then again lying around the pool area with Nick and Jeremy. Yes, we have another non-PC event, as Jeremy goes on a long diatribe about the oral sex skills of redheads, brunettes, Asians, and African-Americans. Yes, this is a good crew.

Then something shocking happens. At approximately 6:45 PM Big Brother time, David is seen in the shower! His Aryan girl looks on in glee, and even gives him a kiss after it’s over. No tongue, though, as she won’t do that on camera. As his lady friend takes his place under the water, David wanders around the house before eating a bit of GinaMarie’s pizza. As more people join the kitchen crew, David is again a silent force as Jeremy decides to evaluate all of the women in the house.

The rest of the evening isn’t more scintillating. He sits with a group for awhile, and offers little to the conversation, and then moves on to another. Most of the time is spent with his girl, Jeremy and Kaitlin, and one might as well just watch on mute. This is particularly true when the foursome play pool, as that has NEVER been a great Big Brother cam to watch.

As we head into the late night portion of this report, I suggest you scroll down to Ash’s post. A lot of crap went down during the evening, most of it revolving around Aryan Girl and Jeremy. There’s a fight here, a fight there, a fight everywhere. What is amazing is that David is around during all of this yet has almost nothing to do with any of it! Even when talk comes that Jeremy’s actions may get David evicted, it’s like he’s not there! It is really an amazing job this guy does in always being an extra in his own play.

Yet, it is quite interesting that I’ve now done profiles on three different people that have all been on the block yet have done nothing to further their place in the house. David has done nothing to ensure his safety. I realize he thinks he’s safe because he’s been told Elissa is the target, but shouldn’t he be finding out if that indeed is the case? And how upset is he going to be when he finds out that his pal Jeremy is actually aware of the plan to save Elissa?

While I sort of shook my head when I first heard about the plot to save Elissa over David, I’m now kind of understanding. It is a bit of a wasted eviction, but if he’s not even going to really play the game, why not just send him packing? And maybe next week, his KKK-loving girl will join him on the beach.