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Monday
Jul012013

A Day In The Life Of: David

Today’s person of choice is America’s favorite surfer dude. A man who somehow has shown himself to the Big Brother powers as a physical threat who should be eliminated as soon as possible. A man who is in love with the Queen of the Aryan nation.

Most importantly, he’s a man who is oblivious to what is going on around him. He’s not fazed by going up as a replacement nominee. It’s all cool, dude. As long as he gets some sun, a nap or two, and a cute little blonde hanging onto him, everything is alright.

This particular day isn’t much different from most. He’s one of the last to rise, and does very little once he does wake up. He plops himself down on the living room couch, and has a chat with Andy. Or, to be quite honest, Andy does the talking. Its rare that you get a word in once he gets going, but David does query him on when he came out to his parents.

He then disappears for awhile again, but is then seen outside laying out by the pool with his boo. Let’s be real. As cute as she is, and even forgetting her non-PC comments, Aaryn is a needy little twit. She rambles on and on about nothing and everything. She has plans to move to L.A., or New York (with GinaMarie), or maybe even somewhere with him. She golfed once, and was great. She’s sick of school. It just goes on and on.

David is her perfect foil. He just smiles, nods his head, holds her hand, and occasionally says things like “you are the smartest, wittiest, most beautiful girl in Big Brother history”. He’s clearly desperate to get that dick wet.

After another period where he’s not found on the cams, until he’s again found with his lady friend. Kaitlin is cleaning the shower, and Aaryn bitches about how her sheets are dirty and that David hasn’t showered in two days. He’s a bit offended. “I do shower...after comps!”

The topic of dirt carries on for awhile longer, as they head into the bedroom. David’s clothes are piled all over the floor, as is their other meathead roommate, Jeremy. Once again, it’s not his fault. “Black Candice”, after all, has slept on those sheets, which brings on this comment from Aaryn - “at least it wasn’t Asian eyes”. Oh dear.

David is again a non-factor in the early evening. He’s seen tossing a sandbag for a bit, and is then again lying around the pool area with Nick and Jeremy. Yes, we have another non-PC event, as Jeremy goes on a long diatribe about the oral sex skills of redheads, brunettes, Asians, and African-Americans. Yes, this is a good crew.

Then something shocking happens. At approximately 6:45 PM Big Brother time, David is seen in the shower! His Aryan girl looks on in glee, and even gives him a kiss after it’s over. No tongue, though, as she won’t do that on camera. As his lady friend takes his place under the water, David wanders around the house before eating a bit of GinaMarie’s pizza. As more people join the kitchen crew, David is again a silent force as Jeremy decides to evaluate all of the women in the house.

The rest of the evening isn’t more scintillating. He sits with a group for awhile, and offers little to the conversation, and then moves on to another. Most of the time is spent with his girl, Jeremy and Kaitlin, and one might as well just watch on mute. This is particularly true when the foursome play pool, as that has NEVER been a great Big Brother cam to watch.

As we head into the late night portion of this report, I suggest you scroll down to Ash’s post. A lot of crap went down during the evening, most of it revolving around Aryan Girl and Jeremy. There’s a fight here, a fight there, a fight everywhere. What is amazing is that David is around during all of this yet has almost nothing to do with any of it! Even when talk comes that Jeremy’s actions may get David evicted, it’s like he’s not there! It is really an amazing job this guy does in always being an extra in his own play.

Yet, it is quite interesting that I’ve now done profiles on three different people that have all been on the block yet have done nothing to further their place in the house. David has done nothing to ensure his safety. I realize he thinks he’s safe because he’s been told Elissa is the target, but shouldn’t he be finding out if that indeed is the case? And how upset is he going to be when he finds out that his pal Jeremy is actually aware of the plan to save Elissa?

While I sort of shook my head when I first heard about the plot to save Elissa over David, I’m now kind of understanding. It is a bit of a wasted eviction, but if he’s not even going to really play the game, why not just send him packing? And maybe next week, his KKK-loving girl will join him on the beach.

 

Sunday
Jun302013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 2 Recap

Tonight is one of the few times when the Sunday night show is full of unseen material, as it will consist of nothing but pre-live feed material. Hopefully, a few questions will be answered. Why are people shunning Elissa (besides the reasons I would do this)? Why are the current nominees on the block? How did the various alliances get formed? Most importantly, how did Jeremy go from Jessie to Kaitlin? And why would either girl even want him?

The drink is mixed, the Tylenol has been swallowed, and the garbage pail is next to me...so it must be time to begin! After the reminder of everything that happened on Wednesday’s show, we kick off with yet another recap! Yes, things have not changed in the Big Brother production department.

This replay is about the new MVP twist. In case you forgot what was said, Nick has to explain it to us once again. Everybody is scared because of the secrecy. “It kind of changes everything. You have to be nice to everybody.” Aaryn thinks it’s “awesome” as she’s going to win it “more than once”.

Meanwhile, Jessie says this makes it hard for the HOH, because one of his nominees may not go home. “Now you have two targets on your back.” The current HOH, McCrae, agrees, and looks worried. “I could get a lot of blood on my hands and not get what I wanted.”

We move into the lounge area, and Jeremy and Judd are complaining that it will be nothing but girls that win MVP. Judd says that Kaitlin will win, and Jeremy’s reply is that “she’s got my MVP”. They run down all of the hot girls in the house, and even I can understand Judd for the first time. Jeremy says that since he’ll never know who is the MVP, “I’m going to have to have a snuggle session with each and every one of these beautiful ladies. You know what, I don’t think that will be too hard.” Good luck with that, bra.

We’re now in the bathroom with the young hotties (Kaitlin, Aaryn, Jessie), and Kaitlin says she didn’t want to win HOH. Nick interrupts for a second, and after he walks away Kaitlin and Jessie talk about how cute he is. “It’s like we have things in common”, says Jessie. I’ll refrain from commenting on that. Kaitlin tells her to “go for it”. The three decides to create some code words for the boys - Kenneth (David), Manhattan (Nick), and The Sailor (Jeremy). Wait, they change Nick to “Big”. “You like the Sailor”, says Jessie. Both Aaryn and Kaitlin give dirty looks to that claim. Kaitlin goes on to make fun of his voice. (Foreshadowing alert!)

Ugh, it’s the “who wants to see my HOH room” segment. I hate this shit. I don’t give a fuck, even when they start making fun of Rachel. God, that awful whiney voice of Elissa now gets a diary room segment. She decides to not let anybody know they’re related. Yeah, that will last long.

It’s time for some filler, as Jeremy and Nick play some hackysack. Nick questions Jeremy about his thoughts on the house, and Nick wants to bring in Howard and Spencer. Jeremy just says yes to everything, and he is excited because those two are already in an alliance with him. “I’m cool with that plan.”

Nick moves on to those two to invite them in, and they both agree. Nick wants to have a late-night chat with all of them so that they can bring McCrae into the fold. After showing some weird hippy dance from McCrae, Nick does come in to butter him up. McCrae wants to guess the list of this alliance, and he guesses correctly except for Spencer. McCrae agrees this is a good idea, saying “this is a good offer. An offer I shouldn’t refuse.”

Spencer, Jeremy and Howard then head up, and they go through all of their roles. Jeremy says he is “flabbergasted by all of the talent in this room.” Nick thinks this whole group will be final five, but thinks that David is their one big threat. McCrae thinks he should put up two girls, with the real plan to go after him. Howard says “if you put up the right two, they’ll kill each other anyway”. Nick says that getting rid of him will make it so that the only other physical threat is removed.

The meeting adjourns with the most important part of the conversation - the alliance name. I’m actually surprised they took this long. Remember when The Brigade came up with the name before they even created their team? Yeah, so this is called The Moving Company. McCrae says he “feels amazing” to be both HOH AND have a power alliance!

After commercials, it’s showmance time! David asks Aaryn to go sit in the hammock, saying that she is the perfect girl for him. She immediately starts talking about how in competitions, he has to save her. “I just like really need you to like work hard and make sure that I stay safe and I’ll never put you up.” They’re a power couple, yo! David says this is perfect, as he came into the house MORE for a showmance than the money anyway. “She’s way smarter than me, and I’m ready for some action.”

Jessie is clearly boy crazy, and complains to Amanda that she doesn’t know who she likes. Amanda suggest either Nick or Jeremy, and she does like both of them. Amanda asks if she gets any vibes from Nick, and Jessie says that they flirt. She wants Amanda to go ask him if she likes him, and Amanda complains it is like being at a Bieber show. She does a pretty good job at impersonating her, actually. Jessie’s main problem is that she doesn’t want to look stupid. Too late, baby. Amanda suggests that she just go sleep with McCrae instead. (For those watching the feeds, that’s an interesting comment.)

Oooh, it’s J-U-DOUBLE-D time! He is in the HOH with McCrae, and informs him that “I know for a fact that Elissa is Rachel Reilly’s sister”. McCrae actually didn’t know until that moment, and realizes that she really is a clone. Others are talking about the same thing. In fact, everybody is talking about it. David is completely perplexed, in fact. “Aaryn is one smart cookie.” Um, no. She’s not. Stop it. And please stop this segment. It’s gone on way way too long, even though it is funny that Amanda is embarrassed that she didn’t figure it out.

We return from another commercial break with the Have/Have Not competition. McCrae is dressed like a safari guide, and announces the rules for the game. It’s called Kooler and the Gang, and it’s a giant campground. Judd is happy because it’s “almost like home”. They have to race across the lake, grab a soda can, and place it on a platform held by the rest of the team. Another then runs in, and they have to form a pyramid with these cans.

After some comments about how they just can’t be a Have-not, the competition begins. I won’t bore you with a play-by-play, but the losers end up being Andy, Howard, Elissa, Judd, and Helen. The segment ends with the unveiling of the Have-Not room, a recreation of the inside of an airplane, and they all complain.

Now a handful are sitting outside, rehashing the Have-Not competition. They all make fun of Judd’s paddling, and then Amanda says she wants to “fucking vent”. Kaitlin immediately starts complaining about how Candice wouldn’t listen to any direction, and that she liked her until that night. Amanda doesn’t disagree. “She’s got to go”, says Kaitlin.

Amanda is sucking on a popsicle in the HOH when we return from more adverts, discussing with McCrae how tough it must be to the be the first HOH. Amanda says “everybody wants a slice of the pizza boy” (oh, how I could have fun with that line), and she wants to have a voice in the nominee selections. She goes on to tell him that nobody likes Jessie, and that it’s not smart to put up strong guys. “Jessie has a way better ass than me, and I’m a little jealous”, she says in the diary room. McCrae is confused. “Putting up weak players can definitely keep the target off of my back, but it could be a waste of my HOH.” Smart thinking, pizza boy.

A bit later, Elissa walks into the room. She apologizes for not knocking, and says in the diary room that she’s worried that the secret will be “coming out soon”. She decides to tell McCrae, and he tells her that she doesn’t want to act like Rachel did during her time. As a superfan, though, he claims to be excited. It’s exciting to have her around, but “if I don’t try to take her out, it could come back to haunt me.”

Now Jessie,  Aaryn, and David are in the HOH, asking what his plans are. McCrae says the idea is to come up with something that ensure his safety for the next week. Jessie says the safe move would be Elissa and Helen, with Elissa being the target. “She’s for sure 100% to be Rachel’s sister. And what if she’s not even here to play the actual game? What if she’s here for like as sabotage?” Hmmm, maybe David is right. Aaryn is smart, you guys! Poor McCrae is even more confused. “Bottom line is that I have to play this game for me!”

Before we get to the nominees, The Moving Company has a meeting. Well, Nick and McCrae do. Nick wants two girls up, or possibly David. Elissa’s name is also brought up once again.

Finally, we’re at the moment of truth. Will the nominee be surfer boy? Will it be the dim bulb booty chicks? Or will we get the thrill of our life and see that Reilly monster sweat it out as a nominee?

McCrae brings in the house, and the keys start coming out. The first key belongs to Nick, followed by Jeremy, David, Aaryn, Kaitlin, GinaMarie, Elissa, Helen, Amanda, Andy, Howard, Spencer, and Judd. Jessie and Candice are nominated!

McCrae gives generic bullshit reasons for his nominations, which pisses off Jessie. She says she’s going to win POV and come after him. Elissa is so relieved, as she was convinced she’d be put up every week “just like Rachel”. Candice says she’s “not ready to go home”, and cries as she wants to win. McCrae explains that he put up the two least favorite people in the house, and hopes that the MVP is the one to get blood on their hands.

So that’s it! We didn’t get all of our questions answered, but quite a few of them. What did you think of tonight’s episode? Does the nominations now make sense? Let me know your thoughts!

 

Saturday
Jun292013

Big Brother Gossip Show #302: First Week Jitters

why would anyone listen to this crap? - Evel Dick

Hmmm, let me see.. losers that never played, talking out of their ass? Or someone who has played and won? - Evel Dick

You're better off talking with your friends who watch... They have about as much insight. - Evel Dick

I have farts more entertaining - Evel Dick

Yes, it's safe to say that Evel Dick is not a fan of The Big Brother Gossip Show. But he did apparently listen for awhile, as do quite a few of you on a weekly basis. And we thank  you. This week's show covered the first three days of the live feeds, and what a start to the season. Alcoholics and "Sea World" and nutjobs and silly alliances, oh my!

Grab this show via the itunes store, Scott's Ledge app, or...

 

As always, much thanks to the cohosts, Colette Lala and Mike, and also to Ash for working her ass off on clips. Please leave us a comment in iTunes. Ok? 


Saturday
Jun292013

A Day In The Life Of: Candice

(Note: In an effort to try something new this year, this post is the second of a new series of profiles. Throughout the season, I’m going to pick one person and try to follow them on the feeds all day. I have some doubt that I’ll be able to devote the necessary time to accomplish this, though. I’m starting off with the first nominees, as obviously this will be my only chance to get one of these peeps.)

Today, I’m following around Candice, the pageant girl who greatly annoyed me in her pre-show interviews. Apparently, she was involved in some blowout before the feeds went live, and this must be the reason she is on the block.

This is a good day to follow anybody around, as Big Brother allows them to sleep in pretty late. Around ten, she makes her way down to the kitchen, as she’s in charge of today’s breakfast. Aaryn mentions that her ass looked good in the dress she was wearing the previous night, and we get a bit of a flirtatious “donkey boot” discussion with Howard. She’s going to try to go all day without swearing, and anytime she does Howard has permission to spank her ass. “The question is, do you like being spanked”, replies Howard. “Oh yes.” Ok then.

Most of the house ends up outside while this marathon cooking session goes on. Seriously, two hours to make pancakes? It’s a bit of a success, I guess, although a bit later GinaMarie and Spencer are complaining about the amount of “extra junk” she added. Candice interrupts this conversation (which was about more than food), and GinaMarie flips her off when she leaves a few minutes later. GinaMarie tells Spencer that if the Elissa thing doesn’t work, then Jessie should go because Candice’s blow-ups “will make her a constant target”. What blowups? We haven’t seen anything.

For the rest of the house, the early afternoon is bikini time. Except for Candice. Just like Jessie yesterday, Candice disappears for hours, before she finally is shown on camera sitting with McCrae, Jessie, and Howard. This convo doesn’t last too long on the feeds, and a few minutes later we hear her being called into the diary room.

She is in out of the feeds for the rest of the afternoon. We do see her hovering around the photo booth after it was unveiled to the house, and is seen laying around outside. Yet she’s completely unseen during the various fights, including the fake one involving Elissa and Amanda. She reappears shortly after that one, though, kind of explaining to Aaryn and Jessie what happened. Game talk ends shortly after that, and we get some scintillating chatter about vaginal shaving, Evel Dick’s departure, and what roles each of them were cast. The only real game chatter is Candice saying that at this point, her “fate is in other’s hands”. She’s just going to enjoy her time, and live with the consequences.

More time passes before we see her laying on the HOH bed, talking to Helen and Andy. This discussion is about Elissa, and her decision to not fess up to being a Reilly. One theory is that she may be on a task of sorts to keep it a secret. Candice complains about how you can’t have a real conversation with her, and she throws out lines about charity work in chats that don’t have anything to do with such a thing. “She said it like fifty times.”

One complaint does make a bit of sense, though. Elissa has said a million times that she wanted to come in the house and create a girl’s alliance, but then does nothing but attack them. Helen heads out the door, and asks Candice if she is coming, too. “I think I want to have a little time.”

She disappears from the feeds again for hours, except for a couple of shots that show her and Jessie sleeping. There’s two of your nominees - sleeping off a very important day.

In the late afternoon, she shows up sitting around the hot tub, as Spencer and Adam are droning on about horror movies and comic books. She pipes in a bit about historical spots in New Orleans, but for the most part just listens to the others.

We’re now in the early evening, and Candice has me looking to sleep. Seriously, she has done nothing today! She admits to it, though, telling various people how she has slept away most of the day. She asks Spencer a couple of questions about how the feeds work, which he replies with erroneous information.

The rest of the night is similar. She pops up here and there, but has little to say. At one point, she babbles about her choice of favorite animals. Is it a smart move for a nominee to do nothing a day before the veto ceremony? In a house where something is going on at any moment, shouldn’t she be putting herself out there as a person that can be an asset? She’s clueless about the Moving Company, the Bieber Wiebers (or whatever they’re called), and every other little cluster of imbeciles! She’s not long for this game.