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Entries in CBS (112)

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Elissa

 Elissa Slater (Reilly), 27 

Hometown: Concord, N.C. 

Current City: Kannapolis, N.C. 

Nutritionist 

I’ve put this one off as long as possible, and I’d still rather not endure it. 

Why oh why does Grodner and her minions think we need to have a Reilly family member every season? It’s bad enough that we’ve had Rachel for two full seasons, plus other appearances AND Amazing Race. Not to mention her Skype-loving husband. It’s disgusting, and I feel dirty whenever I see any of them. 

Now I must admit that a relative is a bit of a step better than a returning player. I do want all newbies, and technically this horrific human is in that category. But but but...I still don’t have to like it.

So here we go. Five seconds in my eardrums break. She has the Reilly laugh. In fact, her laugh goes beyond that ugly caterwaul. Oh Lord, what have I done to cause me this pain and suffering?

It’s not just her laugh. Even her talking voice is more annoying than her sister...but it’s clear they’re sisters. The same sort of enunciation, and the same attempt to hide her southern drawl.

She says she isn’t going to tell the house that she’s Rachel’s sister, but anybody with any knowledge of the show is going to immediately jump on it. Plus, isn’t she in the TV wedding?

The plan is to play a better social game than Rachel, which really shouldn’t be too tough. Thankfully, she also wants to be “more demure”. Those of us disgusted by that family is so grateful.

The vast majority of this interview is based around Rachel, and what she will do differently and similar to her. She believes her yoga regime will be a huge asset to her in the endurance competitions, and I can’t argue with that. 

Somehow, I made it through the entire interview. I now need a stiff, stiff drink...and a shower. Sadly, if she does refrain from her sister’s over-the-top antics, we’re going to be stuck with a Reilly up to the very end...although she may need some help here and there from Grodner.

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Spencer

Spencer Clawson, 31

Hometown: Conway, Ark. 

Current City: Conway, Ark. 

Railroad Conductor 

A long, long time ago, your intrepid Big Brother reporter actually made an attempt to be a musician. A bunch of friends who had a band needed a bass player. I owned a bass, but didn’t know how to play it. Neither did they, so the method that was used was they would figure out what the bass line was, and then teach it to me.

Since I have a pretty good memory, I did “learn” what they taught me, but I never really felt like I was learning the instrument. After a couple of rehearsals, I bowed out. There was one song, though, that I felt proud about being able to play, and that was “Driver 8” by R.E.M.

Why do I bring this up now? I couldn’t get it out of my head as I listened to Spencer’s interview. He is a railroad conductor after all (who knew that was still a career?), and these are the lyrics to that song:

The walls are built up, stone by stone,

The fields divided one by one

And the train conductor says

"Take a break Driver 8, Driver 8 take a break

We've been on this shift too long"

 

And the train conductor says

"Take a break Driver 8, Driver 8 take a break

We can reach our destination, but we're still a ways away"

 

I saw a treehouse on the outskirts of the farm

The power lines have floaters so the airplanes won't get snagged

Bells are ringing through the town again,

Children look up, all they hear is sky-blue, bells ringing

 

And the train conductor says

"Take a break Driver 8, Driver 8 take a break

We can reach our destination, but we're still a ways away"

But we're still a ways away

 

Way to shield the hated heat

Way to put myself to sleep

Way to shield the hated heat

Way to put myself, my children to sleep

 

He piloted this song in a plane like that one

She is selling faith on the Go Tell crusade

Locomotive 8, Southern Crescent hear the bells ring again

Fields of wheat are lookin' thin

 

And the train conductor says

"Take a break Driver 8, Driver 8 take a break

We've been on this shift too long"

 

If I was to ever interview Spencer, my first question would be whether he was a fan of this song. It’s highly doubtful, though, as his Duck Dynasty beard certainly points to him being a ZZ Top fan. Who knows, though?

This is an extremely likable guy. He’s laid back, honest, and really has no annoying traits. He understands that it is unlikely that he’ll have a showmance, but will be more than happy to have a flirty, “friend zone” relationship.

He is another one that throws out the superfan line, and says he has had the live feeds in the past. He is also one of the rare players to come out of one of those cattle calls that occur in every medium-sized city in the country.

Ok, now he has really won me over. The interviewer made the mistake of comparing him to Adam, and he take a bit of umbrage to that. “Thank you for comparing me to the fat white guy with no hair and facial hair.” I have to take away points, though, for saying he hopes he plays more like Enzo. 

I really want to see Spencer go far, and in previous seasons I think he could have don just that. Like last year, for instance. He is certainly smarter than the likes of Frank. This year, though, he will have to compete with jock types and bikini models. If he can infiltrate the cool kid’s club, he can be a real threat. I’ll be rooting for him, but the odds are that he’ll be out around jury house time.

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Nick

Nick Uhas, 28

Hometown: Hilliard, N.Y. 

Current City: New York, N.Y. 

Entrepreneur 

Before we start this video, I have to admit I’ve heard a lot about this clown. He’s already been the talk of twitterville, and one source told Big Brother Gossip co-host Colette Lala that he’s been a pain in the ass during these days leading up to the show. I’m bound to not like him already, so keep that in mind while reading whatever follows this paragraph.

He’s another of those that is over the top in his hand movements and head bobbing while talking. Seriously, dude, not everything you say is that impressive or dramatic. Settle down, Beavis.

He’s a cocky son of a bitch, that’s for sure. He believes that every story he tells is the greatest thing ever, and, of course, every girl who meets him becomes obsessed with him. At least he doesn’t want to have a showmance, but he’s such a catch that he probably won’t be able to catch himself. “It could go down that way, dude.” Ugh.

Gross, as I’m trying to skim through this, he just used the term “dude, bro”. I’m going to hate this fucktard. Hate, hate, hate. Within five minutes, his voice becomes similar to Charlie Brown’s teacher. Blah blah blah blah blah. I do hear him claim to be a “mega super fan”, and he claims to have seen even the first seasons, but I have my doubts. For fuck sake, he claims last year was his favorite season! Nobody thinks that! Nobody! Last year was a fucking disaster!

Just to add to my hatred, he is a huge Dan fan. “Dan is the man!” I’ve had enough.

Sadly, he will make it far. Way too far. He’ll end up in the final five...at the very least.

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - McCrae

McCrae Olson, 24 

Hometown: Oak Grove, Minn. 

Current City: Oak Grove, Minn. 

Pizza Delivery Boy 

The second Minneapolis resident is a bit of a mystery. There are no video interviews on any of the alternative sites, so one has to sit through Jeff’s terrible chat with him on CBS.com. Does this mean he’s a late addition? Is it possible that “Gabe-gate” caused a last second departure for a certain lacrosse player? 

Before we get to the interview, McCare is apparently a true superfan. Hamsterwatch immediately noted that he was a member of her site, and so is naturally rooting for him.

I’ll admit that while theoretically we would like to see real fans of the game be on the show, rarely do they actually work out. Yes, I realize that Ian fits into that category, but his victory last year was more due to Dan’s only mistake of the season than Ian’s charm, cunning, and wits. 

Honestly, they generally are lacking a bit in the social skills and/or the physical attributes. They may be able to recite every player who has ever appeared, but aren’t equipped to really deal with sharing a space with over a dozen other people. Some of them are also a bit too cocky about their own intelligence, and that always leads to their demise.

So let’s take a look at McCrae. We get a whole two minutes in these Jeff videos, primarily (I’m assuming) because that’s the limit of Jeff’s attention span. He’s a nice kid, albeit a dork. Ugh, Jeff also asks about showmances, and McCrae does play along. He says he’s open to it, but come on. It’s unlikely. Good luck to you, though.

I hope he does well, but I have a feeling he will be bro’d and ho’d out of there relatively quickly. If he does make it to sequester, though, he could have a shot at making it far.