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Entries in CBS (112)

Thursday
Jun202013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Amanda

Amanda Zuckerman, 28

Hometown: Long Island, N.Y. 

Current City: Boynton Beach, Fla. 

Real Estate Agent 

If you’ve seen as much reality television as me, you begin to understand that 30 is almost like 50. You’re too old for The Real World, but you’re way too young to be a haggard Real Housewife...unless, of course, you marry a man rich enough to pay off Bravo Andy.

Those years of late night clubbing are beginning to take their toll. The voice is becoming a rasp thanks to that two-pack a night habit, and the penchant for screaming at the top of their lungs whenever they receive a free drink...or see a flashing light. An occasional jolt of Botox helps keep those worry lines away.

The body is still there, though. The skin above the breasts has yet to freckle or pickle. The boob job is a few years away from needing to be refurbished. The legs are still long and tan, and the booty can still hang out of the short shorts without showing stretch marks or dimples. 

This is it, babe. This is your last gasp before you have to make that “career” you put on your reality television resume a...well, reality. So throw on a tight tank top and some shorts that enhance those gams, and charm this man with the dumb questions!

Her plan clearly works, as the dumbfounded camera man initially forgets to turn on the camera! As we enter the interview, she’s already complaining that she hasn’t been able to inhale her usual pre-noon pack of smokes. 

Oh boy, this girl can talk. I can barely keep up as she plans to be a floater but not a floater, and this contradiction versus that contradiction. Her friends say she’s funny, loud, caring, and they all just love how she’s their therapist. Sure you are, honey.

The truth finally does come out, though. Girls really don’t like her, but they’re all just “jealous”. Oh yeah, there’s that cliche. I can see it now. She’s at a bar dancing with her prey, and that guy’s real girlfriend has the audacity to step in. “Bitch, you’re just jealous!” Yet she hates drama and isn’t judgmental!

At this point, the cameraman is having trouble focusing. It has to be those thighs causing him to shake and shimmy with the camera. Or maybe it’s the cleavage that is begging to be released from that tank top that is struggling to keep the puppies in check.

Wait, it just got interesting. She claims she was 30 pounds heavier a few years ago, and there are some men that have some pictures that better NOT be shared with the public. I’m now officially offering a nice reward for these pics! Send them to paulisded@gmail.com!

My prediction? She’ll actually do well in competitions, and is alpha enough to ensure she’s one of the leaders of the cool kids alliance. While she will ultimately be involved in a few screamfests, I bet she makes it until final five or so.

Thursday
Jun202013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Aaryn

The day started just like every other day this week. Shit, shower, coffee, and dozens and dozens of godawful “X days until Big Brother” tweets. Please, my friends, don’t waste my bandwidth with this garbage.

Today, though, is a big day as we can finally see who is going amuse, arouse, and annoy us for the next 100 days. The annoyance factor is already in full throttle, as Julie Chen actually made a mistake in an interview and said the cast videos would be available at 9 am. When they weren’t up at that time, the bb15 hashtag went berserk. OMG OMG, what are we going to do? Wait until noon, pacific time, which is the part of the day that all other press releases stated it would happen.

Unfortunately for me, at that time I had other commitments that took me away from taking a peak at these folks. Now that it’s almost bedtime, I finally get a bit of time to make some initial impressions. I primarily used the interviews that are hosted at welovebigbrother.com, but I also viewed the CBS videos for as long as I could handle that moron Jeff and his terrible interview style.

Aaryn Gries, 22

Hometown: San Angelo, Texas 

Current City: San Marcos, Texas 

College Student 

 

Picture a warm spring day in Texas. A frazzled Big Brother casting staffer is down to his last wits. He’s spent the last few weeks traveling from one minor city to another, making minor CBS affiliates happy by pretending to be auditioning potential housemates. Bad food, boring bars, terrible morning zoo radio hosts, and the worst of Middle America body shapes have him craving something...anything...even slightly appealing. A perfectly cooked Thai dinner, a live band, and a bit of slap and tickle with a fetching young lady is exactly what was needed.

With the dog and pony show over, it was now time to find the real Big Brother contestants. The kind that tickles Grodner’s nether regions. So this staffer has received the golden ticket - a college town in Texas. Even if he didn’t find somebody for the show, he’d be able to satisfy his urges by using his patented pickup line - “Wanna be on Big Brother?”

Surrounded by good ol’ Texas girls with legs up to here and breasts out to there, the staffer is successful the first two days. Nobody ever said a Texas girl was smart, after all, so the success rate of that line worked wonders. One of those nights, the bimbo even cooked him a meal.

To ensure his job security, though, he had to actually find a house guest, so on the third day he actually did his job. Like the first two days, he parked himself on a bench in the commons area and just waited. 

It didn’t take long. Aaryn Gries, a 22 year-old psych major, at least on paper. Her real story is her modeling career. Fresh-faced but working a curvy booty, at first glance Aaryn looks similar to a non-chip chomping version of Jordan. Oh yes, Grodner will love her!

Yes, she fits all of the Big Brother bimbo stereotypes. She is open to finding “love” on Big Brother, and all she wants is a guy that makes her laugh. Sure she does. Ok, the need for giggling dies quickly, as she lusts for a “lumberjack’. A lumberjack with “inner beauty”, though.

But any love she finds has to be real, as she can’t lie or fake it. Trust me, I bet she has faked it a few times before. Particularly when auditioning for bikini modeling gigs. 

For a psych major, though, she’s a terrible liar. She’s a “big” fan of the show, although she never saw it until this past December. This leads into a long story about how a bunch of episode were supposedly played in her living room. In December? That’s when she decided to “apply”, and has now seen almost half of the episode that has ever aired! Yeah, right.

The crazy thing is how the Big Brother Canada winner just happened to have the EXACT same gameplan that she plans to play. Wow, how is that possible? It really couldn’t be that she had NO gameplan until she heard this person’s winning formula! (By the way, she didn’t remember Jillian’s name, and certainly didn’t remember how Jillian won by a voting fluke.)

At this point, the interview lags. She babbles about how she is going to lie about her psych major, because obviously that would put her in jeopardy. This moves on to her pageant career, and grooming, and other insipid topics. 

My overall impression - she’ll look good in a bikini laying out, but she stands a good chance at keeping up the Big Brother formula of being the model that goes out on the second eviction. At least our staffer goes home a most satisfied man. 

Wednesday
Jun192013

Three-ways and MVP's, Oh My!

As we get closer to premier night, more info is slowly trickling out...along with dozens and dozens of rumors, most of them ridiculous.

As Ash pointed out, yesterday started with the big reveal of the house design. *Yawn* I never really care about that stuff. It's pretty much the exact same layout, with different designs and colors. 

However, one difference sent the online world into a frenzy. Instead of two nomination chairs, there's a love seat. The rumor mill went into crisis mode. OMG! OMG! Talk generally centered on the idea of three nominees, and the possibility that America will pick one of them.

That's not to be. CBS announced today that we will NOT be picking the third nominee. I have a feeling, though, that the three nominee method won't last long. If I had to pick an over/under, I'd say under the halfway point of the season. Keep in mind that quite a few of the recent seasons have had rules that only lasted a month or so (coaches, immunity, etc.).

The public does have a voice in one new aspect of the show, though. Every week, we will be picking a "MVP" of the week. This scares me to death, especially since the first vote starts tomorrow! How can we pick a MVP based on a picture and a short interview? The pessimist in me is not happy.

On to some rumors. There were loads of silliness yesterday, as idiots were pretty much just making shit up and posting them as facts. One person listed a handful of past houseguest relatives as "definites", even though one of them would have to be accompanied by a full time doctor.

However, it does look like one particular relative is coming into the game, and it's one of my worst nightmares come true. I had noticed a week or so ago that Rachel was heavily tweeting about this season, but thought little about it. Then came word that her sister was a possibility...then a probability...then she copied Janelle's gimmick from last year of posting about a vacation in Greece. 

The Survivor rumor also seems to have some legs. Sources are pointing to either a virtual nobody who was the first or second having his fire extinguished, or an infamous pink-pantied creature from last season. Ooof, please no!

One more little tidbit before I hit publish. Late last night, some online detectives found a twitter account that had been taken over by his friends because he was supposedly going to be on this year's cast. A Harvard lacrosse player by the name of Gabe may or may not have seen his posibility of being on TV screwed up by his friends. Who knows?

Tuesday
Jun112013

We Are Now Live (Sort Of)

At (almost) precisely noon, Big Brother time, CBS unlocked the page where the live feeds will commence in two weeks. Note, and this is very important, THE LIVE FEEDS HAVE NOT YET STARTED!!!! You may think that's stating the obvious, but after spending an hour in the chat some people didn't get the memo. In fact, more than a few people claim there are blogs stating that there are rumors that CBS will turn on the live feeds early (as in today). This is impossible, as there are no people in the house yet! Come on, folks, be a littler smarter.

So what do you get at this point? Not much, to be honest. There are some videos hosted by Jeff, and a chat box. But as time goes on, CBS is likely to add some more content to view in the form of videos and talk shows. Just like Real did in previous years.

Currently, the CBS iPad/iPhone app does not have the feeds. I would bet that there will be an update soon to accomodate that. Instead, you must go to CBS.com on Safari (or whatever browser you use). Once you're logged in, the site looks pretty nice on the iPad.

If you have trouble logging in on your phones or desktop, here's a quick primer:

1. Go to CBS.com

2. Click on the Big Brother banner.

3. Towards the top of the page, there is a "Sign In" box next to "Already a Subscriber?". Click on that.

4. Sign in with Facebook, Twitter, or your email address (depending on what you used when you purchased the feeds).

5. You should automatically end up on the Live Feed page, which currently just shows "Early Bird" on the left hand side of the screen, the chat rooms on the right, and the selection of videos to view at the bottom of the page.

If you need help, don't hesitate to ask me on twitter (bigbrothrgossip).