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Entries in CBS (75)

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - GinaMarie

GinaMarie Zimmerman, 32

Hometown: Brooklyn, N.Y.

Current City: Staten Island, N.Y.

Pageant Coordinator

How we handle stereotypes in this country is a bit confusing. Make a watermelon joke and you’re forced to go on an apology tour. Name a professional sports team after a derogatory term used against a culture that we massacred and you’re ok.

You almost need a handbook these days to know who or what is considered offensive. Immediately into this video, I quickly understood that ALL Italian stereotypes are cool to use. They’re funny and actually complimentary. Hell, add a bit of Long Island to the Italian clichés, and you have a laugh factory!

I had some high hopes for GinaMarie after seeing the half-naked modeling shots that have been floating around the web the last day or two. Unfortunately, there is a helluva lot of airbrushing going on in those shots.

Not that this woman is horrific looking. Not at all…and not that it matters. She’s relatively attractive, but I was hoping for this year’s version of JoJo. I wanted to get that bathtub meth lab going again, along with the whips, chains, and multi-use sex toys. Every house needs a dirty girl, and GinaMarie seemed to be the perfect candidate.

Too bad it’s not meant to be, and I should have figured that out when I read that her occupation is “pageant coordinator”. Gross. That means we’re going to hear a lot of really bad conversations between her and Candice about the “craziness” of beauty queen competitions. I hope most of those occur during Big Brother After Dark to help me fall asleep at night.

Like too many of these interviews, there is also too much focus on the “showmance” angle. Seriously, Jeff and Jordan are the worst thing to ever happen to Big Brother (for many reasons), simply because every contestant is now asked about whether they want to hook up in the house. Just stop it. Now.

As she rambled about how she hates certain kinds of girls, I began to zone out until one of the scariest noises in the world made me jump up in my chair. WTF was that high-pitched noise that comes close to that special frequency that only dogs can hear? That’s her laugh? Oh Lord.

GinaMarie may make it to jury, but just barely. Her belief that she’s smarter than she really is will eventually be what causes her demise. 

Friday
Jun212013

Scott's Initial Impressions - David

David Girton, 25

Hometown: San Diego, Calif.

Current City: San Diego, Calif.

Lifeguard

Before he became an undistinguished Congressman, Al Franken published a political comedy book called Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them. Why do I mention this right now? Simply because 30 seconds into this craptacular interview, it’s the only thing on my mind.

David is a liar. A douchebag. Every thing about him screams big fibber. Even that messy hair is a lie. You just know he spends a good thirty minutes in the bathroom fixing those curly locks to have that wind-swept look.

He claims that he and his mom have been watching Big Brother together for at least nine years. At least he’s man enough to admit that he still lives in his mommy’s basement. There’s no doubt that this is true, although I bet when he brings the babes home she either has to hide or claim she’s his roommate. Or sister. Or kissin’ cousin.

The moron can’t talk without moving his hand either. Like a similar Italian cretin from an earlier season, it’s clearly from chronic masturbation. It’s a distraction the way that hand rhythmically rises and falls in line with the cadence of his “hey bro” conversation. Dude, even a bit of pocket pool would be classier.

This bro thinks he’s a groundbreaker, and the reason his “application” was fast-tracked is because they’ve never had a surfer dude from San Diego before. Hey Ian, make sure you add this to the Wikipedia page. It’s a very special first for Big Brother!

At least he’s honest about his superficiality. He comes right out and says he’s an “attraction guy”. Of course. This special catch would never end up with a pig. But she has to be able to cook, and he just knows America wants him to find that special lady in the house.

This is about all I can deal with him, especially after he was “goaded” into showing his abs. Here’s what is going to happen with him. He is alpha enough that he will last quite a long time. Way too long for my taste.

For feed watchers, though, he may create some fun drama. I predict a love triangle of sorts. Amanda is going to lust for him, but she’s too old, has the wrong hair color, and smokes. That’s three strikes against her. He’s actually going to want Aaryn because she’s thin, blonde, dumb, and an easy pushover. This will cause Amanda to absolutely hate Aaryn! I can’t wait!

Thursday
Jun202013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Candice

Candice Stewart, 29

Hometown: New Orleans, La. 

Current City: Houston, Texas 

Pediatric Speech Therapist 

Pageant girls are a breed that needs to just die off immediately. This may be shocking to anybody that knows me, but I don’t have any time for them. I don’t care that they don’t know how to fix education, or their lack of knowledge on maps. 

Nothing about them is attractive to me. I don’t like their hair, makeup, or the way they talk. They’re nothing but Stepford Wives in training, looking for that third generation car dealership owner, or that ambulance-chasing lawyer who lucks into a class action suit that buys that mansion on the hill.

With that intro, it’s clear that Candice is a pageant girl. In fact, she was Miss Louisiana in 2004, and competed in Miss USA. Or is it Miss America? Miss World? Where’s that bitch from the Atlanta Real Housewives to set me straight?

I will give her credit for revealing that she didn’t apply for Big Brother. They came to her. Let me guess. Was it that staffer that I mentioned a few entries ago that wet his whistle while at a Texas college? Miss Louisiana is living in Houston these days. My guess is that Grodner gave him a little call one night because she needed a new version of last year’s pageant queen. Remember her? The one that claimed to be runner-up Miss Arkansas? 

Nope, it wasn’t the same casting guy. She was sitting in a restaurant two years ago, and some woman came over and said she was in casting. Damn it, Grodner! What were you doing in Texas? You can’t use the same lines as your other staffers!

Candice does have the pageantry method of fake answers down to a science. When asked if she was a fan of the show, she says that it is “amazing” but admits she hasn’t seen every episode. My guess is she hasn’t seen a full week of episodes, outside of those they’re forced to sit through while in sequester. Her excuse is that she didn’t always have cable. Ok then.

She also desperately needs to get married. Like now. She will turn 30 in the house, you know (if she makes it to the end). “It don’t matter if it’s in the house, or at Wal-mart, or the Sizzler, or Christian Mingle, or my manager’s upscale strip club. God wants me to marry and have little pageant babies!”

Yep, she played the God card. “Faith” is her favorite word ever, and God will forgive her if she does bad things in the house because winning Big Brother is for the betterment of society. “It is a game, and He wants me to play it like poker. Lying is like bluffing, y’all.”

I’m not a third of my way through this, and she’s driving me crazy. She claims to not care about looks, as it is all about “inner beauty”. Sure it is. She also idolizes Jordan. Game over for me.

Here’s what will happen with this twit. Her voice, and the constant use of it, will drive EVERYBODY crazy. She goes early. The earlier the better.

Thursday
Jun202013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Amanda

Amanda Zuckerman, 28

Hometown: Long Island, N.Y. 

Current City: Boynton Beach, Fla. 

Real Estate Agent 

If you’ve seen as much reality television as me, you begin to understand that 30 is almost like 50. You’re too old for The Real World, but you’re way too young to be a haggard Real Housewife...unless, of course, you marry a man rich enough to pay off Bravo Andy.

Those years of late night clubbing are beginning to take their toll. The voice is becoming a rasp thanks to that two-pack a night habit, and the penchant for screaming at the top of their lungs whenever they receive a free drink...or see a flashing light. An occasional jolt of Botox helps keep those worry lines away.

The body is still there, though. The skin above the breasts has yet to freckle or pickle. The boob job is a few years away from needing to be refurbished. The legs are still long and tan, and the booty can still hang out of the short shorts without showing stretch marks or dimples. 

This is it, babe. This is your last gasp before you have to make that “career” you put on your reality television resume a...well, reality. So throw on a tight tank top and some shorts that enhance those gams, and charm this man with the dumb questions!

Her plan clearly works, as the dumbfounded camera man initially forgets to turn on the camera! As we enter the interview, she’s already complaining that she hasn’t been able to inhale her usual pre-noon pack of smokes. 

Oh boy, this girl can talk. I can barely keep up as she plans to be a floater but not a floater, and this contradiction versus that contradiction. Her friends say she’s funny, loud, caring, and they all just love how she’s their therapist. Sure you are, honey.

The truth finally does come out, though. Girls really don’t like her, but they’re all just “jealous”. Oh yeah, there’s that cliche. I can see it now. She’s at a bar dancing with her prey, and that guy’s real girlfriend has the audacity to step in. “Bitch, you’re just jealous!” Yet she hates drama and isn’t judgmental!

At this point, the cameraman is having trouble focusing. It has to be those thighs causing him to shake and shimmy with the camera. Or maybe it’s the cleavage that is begging to be released from that tank top that is struggling to keep the puppies in check.

Wait, it just got interesting. She claims she was 30 pounds heavier a few years ago, and there are some men that have some pictures that better NOT be shared with the public. I’m now officially offering a nice reward for these pics! Send them to paulisded@gmail.com!

My prediction? She’ll actually do well in competitions, and is alpha enough to ensure she’s one of the leaders of the cool kids alliance. While she will ultimately be involved in a few screamfests, I bet she makes it until final five or so.

Thursday
Jun202013

Scott's Initial Impressions - Aaryn

The day started just like every other day this week. Shit, shower, coffee, and dozens and dozens of godawful “X days until Big Brother” tweets. Please, my friends, don’t waste my bandwidth with this garbage.

Today, though, is a big day as we can finally see who is going amuse, arouse, and annoy us for the next 100 days. The annoyance factor is already in full throttle, as Julie Chen actually made a mistake in an interview and said the cast videos would be available at 9 am. When they weren’t up at that time, the bb15 hashtag went berserk. OMG OMG, what are we going to do? Wait until noon, pacific time, which is the part of the day that all other press releases stated it would happen.

Unfortunately for me, at that time I had other commitments that took me away from taking a peak at these folks. Now that it’s almost bedtime, I finally get a bit of time to make some initial impressions. I primarily used the interviews that are hosted at welovebigbrother.com, but I also viewed the CBS videos for as long as I could handle that moron Jeff and his terrible interview style.

Aaryn Gries, 22

Hometown: San Angelo, Texas 

Current City: San Marcos, Texas 

College Student 

 

Picture a warm spring day in Texas. A frazzled Big Brother casting staffer is down to his last wits. He’s spent the last few weeks traveling from one minor city to another, making minor CBS affiliates happy by pretending to be auditioning potential housemates. Bad food, boring bars, terrible morning zoo radio hosts, and the worst of Middle America body shapes have him craving something...anything...even slightly appealing. A perfectly cooked Thai dinner, a live band, and a bit of slap and tickle with a fetching young lady is exactly what was needed.

With the dog and pony show over, it was now time to find the real Big Brother contestants. The kind that tickles Grodner’s nether regions. So this staffer has received the golden ticket - a college town in Texas. Even if he didn’t find somebody for the show, he’d be able to satisfy his urges by using his patented pickup line - “Wanna be on Big Brother?”

Surrounded by good ol’ Texas girls with legs up to here and breasts out to there, the staffer is successful the first two days. Nobody ever said a Texas girl was smart, after all, so the success rate of that line worked wonders. One of those nights, the bimbo even cooked him a meal.

To ensure his job security, though, he had to actually find a house guest, so on the third day he actually did his job. Like the first two days, he parked himself on a bench in the commons area and just waited. 

It didn’t take long. Aaryn Gries, a 22 year-old psych major, at least on paper. Her real story is her modeling career. Fresh-faced but working a curvy booty, at first glance Aaryn looks similar to a non-chip chomping version of Jordan. Oh yes, Grodner will love her!

Yes, she fits all of the Big Brother bimbo stereotypes. She is open to finding “love” on Big Brother, and all she wants is a guy that makes her laugh. Sure she does. Ok, the need for giggling dies quickly, as she lusts for a “lumberjack’. A lumberjack with “inner beauty”, though.

But any love she finds has to be real, as she can’t lie or fake it. Trust me, I bet she has faked it a few times before. Particularly when auditioning for bikini modeling gigs. 

For a psych major, though, she’s a terrible liar. She’s a “big” fan of the show, although she never saw it until this past December. This leads into a long story about how a bunch of episode were supposedly played in her living room. In December? That’s when she decided to “apply”, and has now seen almost half of the episode that has ever aired! Yeah, right.

The crazy thing is how the Big Brother Canada winner just happened to have the EXACT same gameplan that she plans to play. Wow, how is that possible? It really couldn’t be that she had NO gameplan until she heard this person’s winning formula! (By the way, she didn’t remember Jillian’s name, and certainly didn’t remember how Jillian won by a voting fluke.)

At this point, the interview lags. She babbles about how she is going to lie about her psych major, because obviously that would put her in jeopardy. This moves on to her pageant career, and grooming, and other insipid topics. 

My overall impression - she’ll look good in a bikini laying out, but she stands a good chance at keeping up the Big Brother formula of being the model that goes out on the second eviction. At least our staffer goes home a most satisfied man. 

Wednesday
Jun192013

Three-ways and MVP's, Oh My!

As we get closer to premier night, more info is slowly trickling out...along with dozens and dozens of rumors, most of them ridiculous.

As Ash pointed out, yesterday started with the big reveal of the house design. *Yawn* I never really care about that stuff. It's pretty much the exact same layout, with different designs and colors. 

However, one difference sent the online world into a frenzy. Instead of two nomination chairs, there's a love seat. The rumor mill went into crisis mode. OMG! OMG! Talk generally centered on the idea of three nominees, and the possibility that America will pick one of them.

That's not to be. CBS announced today that we will NOT be picking the third nominee. I have a feeling, though, that the three nominee method won't last long. If I had to pick an over/under, I'd say under the halfway point of the season. Keep in mind that quite a few of the recent seasons have had rules that only lasted a month or so (coaches, immunity, etc.).

The public does have a voice in one new aspect of the show, though. Every week, we will be picking a "MVP" of the week. This scares me to death, especially since the first vote starts tomorrow! How can we pick a MVP based on a picture and a short interview? The pessimist in me is not happy.

On to some rumors. There were loads of silliness yesterday, as idiots were pretty much just making shit up and posting them as facts. One person listed a handful of past houseguest relatives as "definites", even though one of them would have to be accompanied by a full time doctor.

However, it does look like one particular relative is coming into the game, and it's one of my worst nightmares come true. I had noticed a week or so ago that Rachel was heavily tweeting about this season, but thought little about it. Then came word that her sister was a possibility...then a probability...then she copied Janelle's gimmick from last year of posting about a vacation in Greece. 

The Survivor rumor also seems to have some legs. Sources are pointing to either a virtual nobody who was the first or second having his fire extinguished, or an infamous pink-pantied creature from last season. Ooof, please no!

One more little tidbit before I hit publish. Late last night, some online detectives found a twitter account that had been taken over by his friends because he was supposedly going to be on this year's cast. A Harvard lacrosse player by the name of Gabe may or may not have seen his posibility of being on TV screwed up by his friends. Who knows?

Tuesday
Jun112013

We Are Now Live (Sort Of)

At (almost) precisely noon, Big Brother time, CBS unlocked the page where the live feeds will commence in two weeks. Note, and this is very important, THE LIVE FEEDS HAVE NOT YET STARTED!!!! You may think that's stating the obvious, but after spending an hour in the chat some people didn't get the memo. In fact, more than a few people claim there are blogs stating that there are rumors that CBS will turn on the live feeds early (as in today). This is impossible, as there are no people in the house yet! Come on, folks, be a littler smarter.

So what do you get at this point? Not much, to be honest. There are some videos hosted by Jeff, and a chat box. But as time goes on, CBS is likely to add some more content to view in the form of videos and talk shows. Just like Real did in previous years.

Currently, the CBS iPad/iPhone app does not have the feeds. I would bet that there will be an update soon to accomodate that. Instead, you must go to CBS.com on Safari (or whatever browser you use). Once you're logged in, the site looks pretty nice on the iPad.

If you have trouble logging in on your phones or desktop, here's a quick primer:

1. Go to CBS.com

2. Click on the Big Brother banner.

3. Towards the top of the page, there is a "Sign In" box next to "Already a Subscriber?". Click on that.

4. Sign in with Facebook, Twitter, or your email address (depending on what you used when you purchased the feeds).

5. You should automatically end up on the Live Feed page, which currently just shows "Early Bird" on the left hand side of the screen, the chat rooms on the right, and the selection of videos to view at the bottom of the page.

If you need help, don't hesitate to ask me on twitter (bigbrothrgossip).

Saturday
Jun082013

Rumors, Lies, and Wishful Thinking

Just a quick little update of sorts...and, of course, some self-promotion. While season 15 commences on Wednesday, June 26, the first episode of The Big Brother Gossip Show is tentatively scheduled for two weeks from tonight (June 22). We’ll probably ustream the live recording, which again will tentatively be set for 10 pm ET.

By then, we will know who will be going into the house, so the rumor mill will have dissipated a bit. Wow, there have been some crazy rumors! Originally, we were led to believe that it was all-newbie cast, and the biggest ever, but there is now some doubt to that. Some people are still claiming it’s an all-stars season, but there is NO evidence to support that. Trust me, NO evidence.

Another story floating around that seems to be gaining some traction is the presence of former Survivor and/or Amazing Race cast members. My initial reaction to that is “meh”, but it could work as long as it is not a past winner or big name. My problem with returning Big Brother cast members has always been the new players treat them as royalty. Veterans of other shows may not have the same advantage, but it would be similar. I want everybody to be on the same level.

One other rumor with some legs (and we all know I love legs) is a twist involving players who know each other. This I’m not crazy about, mainly because it’s been done before! At this point, though, it’s clear that the producers believe the show is all about twists, and, as usual, the commercials that are currently airing promise more big twists than ever. I’d rather they just fill the house with brazen psychos that aren’t afraid to ruffle feathers. Even the best twists can’t save a season full of robotic Shane-types.

Of course, I have to include a plea to buy your live feeds. If you don’t purchase them through the links on this page, please support your favorite Big Brother sites. In fact, buy from anybody but those former Real twits, please. CBS promises that starting on Monday, they will have content exclusive to feed watchers, so it makes sense to buy them as soon as possible. Plus, you save 20%!

Monday
Apr082013

A Couple of Odds And Ends

There have been a lot of questions coming our way these past few weeks, so I thought I'd throw a quick post up here. How the hell have you all been this winter, by the way? Personally, I have a new side gig that is taking up a lot of time, which is why...

No, I'm not watching Big Brother Canada. Ok, I take that back. I'm watching the actual broadcasts on YouTube. I'm not, however, watching the feeds. There are many factors why, including the new second job as a music writer for the local newspaper (Argus Leader). This is also a much busier TV time than summer, so I am constantly struggling to empty my DVR.

The main reason I'm not watching, though, is pure lack of interest. Yes, it is an all-noob cast, so one of my Big Brother US dreams is being fulfilled up north. Outside of that, I don't have much positive to say. They have completely copied the U.S. formula - HOH, POV, Have-nots, slop, etc. They've even recycled all of the speeches before the various ceremonies, including the much derided "who wants to see my HOH room?" There are a couple of elements borrowed from other countries, though. There's a telephone AND a talking moose that give the players tasks to win dinners and booze.

I'm also not taking a liking to the cast. I don't really hate anybody, though, except for possibly the recently evicted glitter king, Gary. I just haven't developed any positive OR negative feelings about the rest of the cast. I have nobody to root for or against. They're all just dead weight.

One of this site's other contributors, Ash, is a big, big fan, though, so if you do want updates then you should click her twitter link on the left side of this page.

Ok, now on to the other big news. Last week, it was announced that CBS was taking over this year's live feeds. They will not be handled by Superpass. Obviously, this raises a million questions, and we really don't have any answers. As more details emerge, I'm sure Mike will be quick to update the site, and we may even do an early Big Brother Gossip Show episode to explain everything. 

Don't forget, though, that this season will be starting a couple of weeks early. The season premiere is currently scheduled for June 26. What does that mean for this season? Who knows, but it does indicate that there will probably be even more contestants than last year.

What would you like to see happen this year? Do you disagree with my critique of the Canadian version? Have at me, my friends. It's been awhile since I've had hate mail. :)

Wednesday
Jul062011

What If There Were No More Live Feeds?

I have a question for you.  If the live feeds for Big Brother here in the U.S.A. were no longer available, would you still watch the shows?

The reason I ask that is because of what will be happening to The UK's Big Brother this season.  Channel 5, which has taken over the handling of Big Brother from Channel 4, will no longer be offering live feeds for our fellow BB diehards across the pond.

Channel 5 has decided to forego live streaming of their Big Brother content for video highlights.  There will be a Facebook app that will provide "real-time news, extra video content and the ability to vote out housemates online." (Don't get your feathers ruffled my fellow BB USA watchers, BB UK fans have always had the ability to vote out their hamsters.)  I don't know if their fans will also be able to vote out their houseguests the old fashioned way or view highlights and news also on the channel's website but I think all of this really sucks for them.

Despite what Mark Zuckerberg and the media want you to believe, not everybody is on Facebook - myself included - but that's beside the point. So they would have to pay for their vote to eliminate a houseguest with Facebook Credits (their own currency which you have to pay real money for). So they have the ability to watch exclusive video. So the social aspect of Facebook combined with The UK's Big Brother Facebook page will take away traffic from their Big Brother sites created by their fans. I could go on and on but I won't because what really sucks is they won't get to watch live feeds anymore.

As the article in that link above mentions, their live feeds were cut in 2009 but brought back for what was believed to have been their last season last year. With the switch to Channel 5 this year, their fans were hoping the live feeds would stay with them. They are quite disappointed now.

What if that were to happen here? What if CBS and Allison Grodner told Real Networks (or any other company that had the ability to provide the live feeds) that their services were no longer needed? What if CBS told us that we'll just have to make do with the clips they put on their website and that they would create a Facebook page for us to follow the goings on in the house?

Would you continue to be a Big Brother fan? Would you continue to watch the shows aired three times a week? Would you believe even less the 'storyline' that was fed to us on the show? Or would you just stop watching altogether?

I'm curious to read about what you think and what you would do if this were to happen here. Let your thoughts rip in the comments below!