Sorry, folks, but this is another episode that I'm skipping. I'm assuming that I'm not alone. Besides the premiere of another reality show on another network, the mysterious button makes anything that happens this week unnecessary. (Plus, I refuse to watch Jeff and Jordan. Sorry cat ladies.)
That doesn't mean that I can't recap, though. Production has been so predictable in recent years, that I bet that I'm close to perfect in this outline of tonight's show:
1. The show starts off with a look back at double eviction night. Christine's boos are discussed by the house, and Cody has a diary room segment where he's concerned about what that means about his popularity. Frankie, of course, will have plenty to say about it.
2. The house looks at the mysterious button in the have-not room, and they all have diary room segments about what they think it means. Victoria says something completely ridiculous, Derrick worries about his game, and Caleb believes it could mean prizes and fame. Frankie again makes it all about him.
3. The HOH competition, won by Frankie. We all know how this works. Instructions are read to the house, and then there are diary room segments where the rules are explained again. They all talk about how it's so important that they win this competition. After Frankie wins, he goes nuts for the camera, and also in the diary room.
4. More discussion on the button before the house decides to push it. Frankie again makes it all about him, and ensures maximum camera time.
5. Jeff and Jordan's prearranged engagement. Excuse me while I vomit. Jordan pretends to be surprised, even though it was announced on Thursday's show that they had a big announcement. Cody thinks they did it on Big Brother because they love the cast so much, Caleb believes that it's because they want him to sing, Derrick worries how this will affect his game (I'm joking), and Frankie is over the top in his excitement.
6. A few minutes of nonsensical game talk, including Derrick again lecturing the viewers on his mastery of directing the conversations. Frankie talks about targetting a big player.
7. Frankie nominates Victoria and Cody, dressed outrageously and peppered with sexual innuendo. The audience yawns, and turns back to either Sunday Night Football or Utopia.