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Entries in Episode Recap (124)

Saturday
Sep082012

Big Brother Gossip Show #27: Quack Mist

It's not hard to fill up time when  you have treats like Danielle in the house! Yes, we talk about that silly zit-monster, along with Dan's ability to get anybody in the house to do whatever they want. Plus, the double eviction night, the return of Rachel in a Pandora's Box, and so much more.

Oh yeah, and we also discuss today's POV competition, which resulted in a Shane victory. Danielle is not pleased about this development, and her and Dan hope to convince Shane to NOT use it to save himself. Yeah, you can't make this stuff up. 

As always, there are tons of ways to listen to this show, so here are the instructions. You can stream it via Scott's Android/iPhone app, The Ledge, or via Stitcher (http://www.stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=16875). You can also subscribe via iTunes (http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/big-brother-gossip-mp3/id502746488), and if you do please leave us a review. Finally, there's also a feedburner site -http://feeds.feedburner.com/bigbrothergossip - that links you to a number of different methods to subscribe. 

Finally, for a direct stream or download, please click...

--->HERE<----

Thanks to Mike, Colette, Karen, and Ash for their help in putting together this episode. Now go listen!!!

Thursday
Sep062012

Big Brother #14, Episode 25 Recap

It's double eviction night! Will it be double the fun? Who will be going home? We know it's the end of the line for Big Dummy Frank, but who will be the second evictee?

Unfortunately, the odds are that it will be either Jenn or Joe, as Smelly Pants Dan has the rest of the house snowed over. It is because of that fact that I predicted that Eagle Eye Pee Hands Joe would pull an upset. I doubt very much that this will happen, but he is our only hope this week. He has seen through Dan's shenanigans, although he has kept quiet over the past week. There's also the reality that while he has a big, big mouth, he seems to lack the balls to actually follow through with a big move. I could see him giving us hope for a few seconds, and then weaseling out to get Jenn out. Please, please, please, Joe. Win this and make us proud...at least for a few minutes.

Since this will be a long recap, let's just go right to the reactions to Dan using the veto to save Jenn instead of Big Dummy Frank. Please, do we have to start off with Joe yelling at the camera one more time? At least Joe knows that he is supposed to be a pawn this week. Jenn then compares being taken off the bloc to "getting that dream apartment in New York City". Really? She is concerned that her big ally, Frank, is still on the block.

Speaking of the Big Dummy, he still thinks that he has Dan and Danielle's votes to stay in the house (along with Jenn, of course). Dan then gloats about how it has been a great week for him - he added a new ally (Jenn), and Frank is still clueless that he's the next victim.

Now the segment moves along just like last night's. Big Dummy is making sure that Dan is still with him on the plan to get Joe out. "We're golden now, right?" Dan makes a little bit of a mistake, though, as they talk about next week's competition. "What if Joe pulls out a miracle win?" Uh oh. Dan quickly recovers, though, because Frank is a BIG DUMMY!

The segment doesn't end there, though, as Frank continues to pepper Dan about whether they're going to the end together. "You've got to realize that I've been burned so many times in this game this season. Every time I find someone to trust they put me on the block the next week."

Now it is Joe's turn to sound like a fool, as he heads over to the Ian to make sure that Frank is still the target. "Should I throw out a major campaign to Jen." Ian just says that he's "golden", mainly because he wants Joe to lay low and now screw things up with his big mouth. Joe calls Frank "Houdini", but Ian reminds him that Houdini died young. Joe, though, does a good job in pumping up Ian's ego by talking about how he is putting out the game's toughest competitor.

More Grodner footage is up next, as we get to endure Dan explaining his entire game as he stares at the memory wall. Yes, we get it. Dan's a perfect man who is always one step ahead of the pack. Well, this pack isn't too hard to be a mile ahead.

Dan decides that he needs to know where Joe's head is at right now, and he heads into the bedroom to see who he would put up. He throws out Shane and Danielle, but says in the diary room that he was just tossing out names.

A half hour later, Dan returns to the bedroom, but Joe thinks it was Shane. "Dan chased me in here", he says.

"This is Dan."

"What's up?" Ugh, what a bonehead. Shane then walks in, and Dan tells him the story. Now Dan claims to be considering to keep Big Dummy Frank. Yeah, right.

With that short segment complete, we head to a live shot for Julie to announce that it is once again a double eviction. Danielle's mouth drops open, but that's how she usually looks anyway.

The final pleas start with Big Dummy, who reminds them all that he can't compete in the next HOH. He's also "very vulnerable", so anybody who helps him can get help.

Joe then stands up, and again attempts a comedy act. "I know I'm the biggest single threat...in the kitchen". He thanks everybody for his time in the house, and "you have ot vote with your heart".

Live voting then begins with Dan, who votes to evict Frank, as does Danielle. Jenn, however, votes to evict Joe, but Shane makes it official by voting to evict Frank. He is out by a 3-1 vote!

Julie then reads the results, and he is surprisingly calm. Dan tells him he is a "great competitor", and he quickly hugs Jenn before heading out the door. Hmmm, where's the fireworks???

Julie tells Frank that he looks shellshocked, and he admits this to be the case. Frank is bummed that Dan put his hand on the Bible, and he should have never trusted him. This is an idiotic interview, as it is nothing but not having anybody to trust.

Let's move on to the goodbye messages, which starts with silly Joe complaining about the size of his ego. "Your biggest mistake in the game was not getting rid of Dan." Well, duh. Shane adds little to the chat, and Ian says that he had to make this decision for the good of his game. Dan then yells that he respects him, and that is why he voted him out. What a kissass. Julie asks if there are hard feelings, and Frank says "absolutely". For some reason, Julie continues the interview and Frank continues to whine. Enough!

Time for a quick HOH competition. As expected, it is a question game called "Make Your Case". Julie reads a quote from a nominee's final plea, and they have to identify that person. The person with the most points after seven questions wins.

The first quote is about being underestimated, and only Jenn gets this right (Ashley). The second question is about the term "brass tacks", and Jenn, Dan, and Danielle all guess Boogie. The third round is about bullies, and Jenn this time is the ONLY one wrong.

Question four is about believing they were going to play a dirty game, and Jenn, Dan, and Danielle all guess Jojo. Question five is about who played an honest game, and those three again guess correctly.

Question six is about helping others win the game, and again it is between those three. The final question is about fairness, and nobody gets it correct. It is a three-way tie between Jenn, Dan, and Danielle. The tie-breaker is a guess on the number of minutes that Jodi was in the house. Danielle guesses 230, Dan has 363, and Jenn as 160. The correct answer is 481 minutes, which means that Dan wins! Gross!

After commercials, everybody gathers in the living room. Joe stupidly sits in one of the nomination chairs, and won't move. Dan says he has to make tough decisions, and nominates Joe...and IAN!!! WTF??? Even Joe is shocked!

When we return from yet another break, it is time for the veto comp...and everybody is playing. The comp is called "Swimming With Sharks", and they have to work a shark through a maze. The first to finish it, and return to hit their buzzer wins. Danielle jumps in the lead, but they quickly all even up (except for Shane). In fact, Joe is even in the lead for a second, but stalls at the halfway mark. Ian then sneaks ahead, and looks to be taking it until the maze pulls him back a bit. He's still way ahead of the others, and indeed he does win!

And yet another commercial break before Ian saves himself from the block. Before we get to that, though, Dan is gathering various people for strategy, and first the door slams on Ian...and then he leaves when Dan wants to talk to him. Just get to the ceremony, please!

Finally, Julie calls everybody to the room...but Dan attempts to talk to Jenn one more time. With everybody finally in place, Ian does indeed save himself...and is replaced by Danielle! Wait, What??? Danielle???? OMG, this is the greatest moment ever!!!! The audience may have groaned, but I haven't been this happy in weeks! Get Danielle out! Get Danielle out! (Oh wait, she is my choice as this year's winner.)

CBS is raking in cash this week, as we have to sit through yet more commercials before the voting. After flashing her panties, Danielle stands up and says to please keep her. Joe then says that he has "strong ass loyalty" and he loves them all.

Voting starts with Shane, who obviously votes to evict Joe, as does Jenn and Ian. Joe is out by a 3-0 vote! Once again, my hopes and dreams for this season are dashed. Joe hugs everybody, and walks out with a smile on his face. "It's just a game."

Oh great, he comes out screaming to the audience. Thankfully, I won't have to endure that voice much for the rest of this season. There seems to be some drama in the house though, before we get to the interview. Danielle is clearly not happy with being nominated.

Julie's interview starts with pointing out that he survived on nomination earlier tonight, so what went wrong this time? Joe says that he needed one big victory, but he didn't pull though. "Ian absolutely deserves this." When asked why Danielle wasn't evicted, Joe's reply is "showmance! I can't go there. I'll rub his back but that's all he's getting." Julie points out that Joe never made any big moves in the game, nor won any competitions. Was that his strategy? Let me answer this...no. Even Joe knows this idea is ridiculous. "I tried with every ounce of my body to win one of these things." His only skill set was to win them over with cooking. Julie concludes by asking about his dumb pubic hair on his chin, and he calls it "Chinny Claus". Ugh.

Before the show ends, Julie confirms that next Wednesday will indeed be another eviction; the day before the show is shrunk down to three.

What did you think of tonight's show? Did the right people get evicted? Are you excited for the inevitable drama that Danielle will cause by being nominated? Tell us what you think!

Sunday
Sep022012

Big Brother #14, Episode 23 Recap (Sort Of)

Call it the holiday blues. Call it laziness. Call it what you like, but I decided against my usual 10,000 word recap tonight. I knew the format of tonight's show would match every other endurance Sunday episode, and the appearance of Grodner's human dildo, Jessie, was not reason enough to sit through and transcribe. Plus, I've had visions all day of a beautiful woman partying in New Orleans, wearing little more than a sexy tank top.

I did watch, though, and had some fun tweeting my usual absurdist silliness. I hearby treat you to some of my reactions from this long, long hour.

7:57 Instead of All-Stars, they should have an ultimate losers season. Can you imagine an endurance where Joe & Kathy pin a tail on a donkey?

7:59 We could have a comp where Ian, Danielle, and Cowboy have to make the goofiest faces in the mirror.

8:00 After last night, though, we do know one contest where Joe would excel...but it would have to be on Showtime.

8:00 Maybe Joe, Ian, and Brendon could have a Skype self-pleasure contest! #AllStarLosersSeason

8:02 So the show starts tonight with dummy#1, dummy#2, and dummy#3....with a drunk, twitching idiot#4.

8:03 And a self-important, "Christian" douchebag.

8:04 Cue Dan screaming the instructions in the diary room any second now...

8:04 Oh Jenn, you have yet to make a big move and you have yet to be a "big target".

8:05 Wait, is this a loop? Joe and Jenn aren't down yet?

8:05 Ian's growing self-importance is the funniest thing about this season.

8:06 And there is the screaming. *WhereIsTheMuteButton?

8:07 Joe, not only are your four kids laughing at you but all of America is

8:07 I'm sorry, the Hula Hoop "punishment" was no punishment, and Joe loved every fucking second of the attention. #GuaranteedScreenTime

8:08 Good thing precious Danielle wasn't bruised by the "comet"

8:08 Oh look, there's goes the "big target" Jenn.

8:09 What we learned tonight - giant red penises are kryptonite to Brooklyn lesbians.

8:10 Dan, can you scream the obvious just a little bit louder? I missed it the first five times.

8:11 Shane sure loves hitting the penis comet.

8:11 So Danielle is completely made up for the comp, but is in the diary room showing every blemish. #DumbTwit

8:12 Dammit, CBS, why no Danielle puke footage??

8:12 Dan was up 42 minutes - I had predicted 45.

8:17 It amazes me that they stretch out these boring endurance comps to almost a full half hour of broadcast time.

8:22 So the new rule is that breaking alliances is ok if you "like" the new people more Interesting.

8:27 Oh look, the only two people who didn't think Frank was going up. #JoeAndFrankAreClueless

8:28 Now this "girlfriend" convo is by far Jenn's BEST MOMENT OF THE SEASON!!!! You go girl!!!

8:28 Hmmm, Danielle is actually all made up and busty for the Shane diary room convo???

8:28 Ian's HOH reveal. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8:30 Danielle's only thought about Ian's HOH is "where are the Cheetos?"

8:31 So all the Dan fans saying that he didn't have a F2 deal with Frank, he himself has said it at least 3 times tonight.

8:32 Fuck the Quack Pack.

8:32 Poor Joe had to stop jerking off to do his dumb hula hoop shit.

8:33 You know when the season is over Danielle is going to be pissed they didn't show her in the hula hoop.

8:35 Ding Ding Ding Ian!!! He can't play HOH next week. Your idiot Quackers would have a better chance at winning HOH

8:40 Oh come on, like Mr. BB WIki would even consider NOT opening Pandora.

8:42 Even on the scale of Jessie appearances, this is easily the worst Pandora ever. zzzzzz

8:43 Who wants Jessie's dick more - Grodner, Danielle, or Shane???

8:44 This segment would have been better if chip-chomper Britney had still been there.

8:45 Yes, Dan, scream that same theme to us one more time. We may have forgotten since ten minutes ago.

8:46 Dan's "It's kind of your call", which means "here's what I am commanding you to do".

8:47 This season is such a disaster that I actually want that delusional twit Danielle to win.

8:54 Oh come on, Ian, this is not the "difficult decision" the scriptwriters want us to believe.

8:55 Danielle clearly remembered that this is guaranteed camera time, as her tits are busting out of that shirt.

8:56 Ian, quit lying. Jenn has NOT played a "remarkable social game" this season. She's been invisible!

8:56 Ugh..."quack quack". Shut it, Ian.

8:57 Oh Jenn, I now laugh at your diary room segments as much as I do Dan and Joe's.

Thursday
Aug302012

Big Brother #14, Episode 22 Recap

For the second week in a row, we will be saying goodbye to a so-called Big Brother legend. A beautiful little thing with a wandering eye but the gift of snark, our departing player originally lost her "dignity on a slippery wiener", but also managed to survive being shackled to two of the most annoying people in Big Brother history, was outplayed by a gang of fratboys with a collective IQ of 75, and never met a crinkly bag of chips she didn't devour.

Although we will never forget our little Britney, honestly she was never much of a player. Yet she never claimed to be one, either, admitting earlier this year that she spent her entire first season in a bikini (hence my love for her). With competition wins not a part of her vocabulary, she used her gift for gab (and more and more gab) to attach herself to anybody that had temporary power. She will be missed.

Or is she really going? After wasting over two days on wine, sleep, and Cheetos, Britney actually attempted to work the room earlier today. Was it too little too late? Big Brother history says her chances are slim to none, but who knows what happened in those couple of hours before tonight's broadcast? I know I'd like to see it just to witness how it shakes up the dynamics of the house just minutes before what we believe is an endurance competition.

At the very least, her last-ditch attempts will create enough footage for CBS to create a little bit of doubt, so don't put too much stock into the opening segments. Before we get to the campaign footage, though, we have some explosive footage that occurred immediately after Jenn City (stupidly) used her veto to save Dan...who was replaced by our little blonde heroine.

After a hyperbole-fuelled recap...and another recap...and Dan's narrative recap...followed by Julie's second over-the-top recap...we finally get started. Dan is celebratory, Britney is sad, and Ian is angry. Britney's complaint is that "a giant carrot put me on the block next to my best friend in the house". Shane hugs her, whispering that he "had no idea what just happened". Ian is more worried that Frank now knows about his double-crossing, while Britney asks Danielle if she knew this was going to happen. "I had no idea", she lies.

Frank and Jenn City go upstairs to celebrate, while Dan goes into the lounge to quietly yell "I'm back!" Yes, cue more yelling in the diary room. He also continues talking to the camera, smugly saying this was his best move ever. We get it, Dan. Move on, Boy Wonder.

Ian is still furious, and stomps his way right up to the HOH. Is he going to pop Frank in the nose? Of course not. He just meekly says that he his "not too pleased", and Frank throws it back in his face that earlier he said he had "covered all of his own bases". Sending Britney home uncovers a base or two, I guess. Shane then enters as Ian's voice raises a bit, and he then heads downstairs.

Britney hugs him and says that it is fine, but Ian keeps pacing as Britney enters the lounge. "Dan lives to fight again", she says to him, who replies that it is "nothing personal". He tells her to go talk to the HOH, but she wants him to "just be honest". He doesn't reply, so she walks out. Oh wait, she has to stop to complain that he is being "cold" to her, and that he has to remember that he needs to remember she's a jury vote.

He just can't sit still! Danielle and Shane are still in the living room, and Ian now paces into their orbit with a beer in his hand. "I will revenge it. That's for sure." Shane wants to know how Jenn got involved with this, but Danielle is more concerned about her "acting".

It is now Britney's turn to complain to Frank, and she does the whole "it is what it is" line. Frank says that he had to do this to hurt Ian's game, but Britney claims he's not as close to her as Ash was to him. Now that is a silly argument. Plus, she had something to do with that move, which puts Britney into her typical overdrive...and that she knew this was coming. The tears come out (and the piano music) as both Frank and Jenn tell her how great she is. "I'll help you if you keep me." Too late, baby doll.

Back to angry Ian. Frank walks back into the living room, and Shane says that he understands it was a "tough decision". A tough decision that "you had several days to think about", adds Ian. Oh, it is on....and Dan loves it from the other room. "I thought they were taking advantage of you because you were a kid", says Frank, "but it turns out you're just trying to be sneaky." The talk moves on to booting Boogie, and Dan is really laughing now.

Ian finally sits down, and Frank comes back out of the storage room to start it all up again. This time, it is about Frank telling Boogie to give Ian the three grand, and how he repaid that by getting out Boogie. Ian then tells the entire house that anybody that sits next to Frank in the finals will lose 7-0. Um, doubtful. We end with Frank complaining about his carrot costume, Ian flipping the bird, and Britney crying. Perfect.

After commercials, we move on to the footage to make us think Britney has a chance. Everybody is outside, and Britney tells Frank that she's not mad at him. No, it's the person "who elbowed me in the face during phone machine. I don't want anybody to be under the misinterpretation that Dan doesn't want to do anything for anybody if it's not the best thing for them." That doesn't quite make sense, but I get what she's saying. She calls herself an idiot for believing his BS, but Ian jumps right to her defense. "No, you're not an idiot." Danielle, though, has to cover her face so that she doesn't spoil her cover. Frank, though, is happy that the focus is on Dan instead of him. Ok, Britney, enough. It is funny, but we have other things to deal with.

Britney then heads into the house, and runs into a quiet Dan. "You can't even say sorry." She says that the worst thing she's done in the game is to believe him.

Oh wait, there is Joe! He is in the bedroom with Shane, the "only person I trust right now". Joe tells him that he is the one who will have to make the call on who to evict, and we get footage of Joe's pledge to get down on his knees for a grateful Shane.

And cut. We have the footage necessary to make it seem up in the air, as we go right to Julie's insipid questions for the house. She begins with Ian, and his explosive words after the veto. She asks what the mood in the house is right now, and Ian says that although it is better it is tense. Jenn is then asked about her move, and she says it "was the most brutal decision I've made thus far in the house". Um, it is your only move in the house.

She goes on to suck on Dan for a bit, and he has a typical ridiculous ass-kissing reply. Julie then asks about Shane's tears during the funeral, and as always he can't string a sentence together. Thankfully, we are done with this always-terrible segment.

Before we get to the eviction, though, we have to have one last piece of Britney fluff. The segment starts with her looking back at her disastrous relationship with the "Brigade", and we have a reunion with these three silly (and one cool) guys. I only care about the Matt portion, especially when they showed the pic of him dressed as Britney for "Hoffoween"...or when he calls Danielle a stalker. YES!!!

To further the filler, Julie also talks to Frank. We will skip that portion.

Finally, it is eviction time. Danielle goes first with the final plea, and her Southern accent is accentuated for some reason as she say she loves everybody. Then Britney gets up and says hello to her husband, family, and BB fans. She says she "doesn't have the time or a big enough ego to host my own funeral but I understand that you have to do what is best for your own game". She ends by quoting a wise old man, "you'll always be Judas to me" as she points to Dan. I will miss the little bitch.

Voting starts with Dan, who obviously votes to evict Britney, as does Jenn. Ian, though, votes to evict Danielle. Shane, however, goes against Birtney. Yes, so does Joe. Britney is out by a 4-1 vote!

Julie reads the results, all is calm as she gathers her stuff and heads out. After the customary de-coloring of her name on the memory wall, Julie asks about her Judas comment. "As a lover of this game, I can really see that he did what he had to do to get off the block. I'm the one sitting here right now, so obviously I'm not happy about it." Julie asks if it is pure genius or pure evil, and Britney says both because "he flipped the house in an hour and used the Bible to do it".

She is then asked about how she went from being the "Queen" ("I try") to having the rug pulled out from under her, and Britney says that a lot of it had to do with Ian. "(He) got me into a lot of trouble, and I kept having to cover for him over and over." She doesn't regret being with him, though, but it "definitely got me into the trouble".

Julie reminds her that this is the second time she was blindsided, and Britney says she tried to "be super paranoid" this time around. Having helped get out two of the supposed greatest players ever (Boogie and Janelle), the question is whether she proved what she meant to prove. Not really, she says, as she really wanted to win.

With her influence on Ian and Shane now finished, Britney is asked how they will do in the remaining weeks. Britney believes that Ian will do fine, but he needs to relax. As for Shane, though, he will just continue "follow the lead of...Danielle or Dan. He's very expendable, but he doesn't see that for himself".

After being reminded of her goodbye message to Boogie, we get to see those for Britney. Danielle is her typical nonsensical self, while Dan tries to explain his move. "What went down this week made me really stick to my guns and fight for myself." Shane just talks about his pink shirt, and Ian tells her she's "one of the best people I've ever met...this season's true beauty has been evicted from the house. I will get that hairy, orange beast."

So now we move on to tonight's HOH competition, and yes, it is an endurance. But there is a twist, as there was a vote as to whether the first person out would get a treat or punishment. Thankfully, punishment barely won...and the first to drop has to open a box. They're not told if it is a punishment or reward.

Tonight's contest is one of those hanging on a small platform as it spins around a spitting "sun". Yeah, this won't last long...which is proven when we come back from commercials to see that Joe is already down...followed by Jenn a minute later! That is it for tonight, though, outside of Julie's announcement that next week is ANOTHER double eviction!

What did you think of tonight's show? Are you happy with Britney's eviction? Or her speech and interview? Or the return of "Der Bergade"? Tell us what you think!