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Entries in Episode Recap (116)

Sunday
Sep042011

Big Brother Season 13, Episode 26 Recap

We’re finally in the home stretch of this season. After tonight, there will only be three more episodes of the show. While the activity in the house has slowed WAY down, there are a lot of events that must be squeezed into these last hours. Tonight, we’ll get a HOH competition, a Pandora’s Box, and nominations. Yes, you heard me right – ANOTHER Pandora’s Box. Trust me, while tonight’s Pandora does little to affect the game, it will be even more annoying than the nullification of Porsche’s HOH that was the result of her opening it.

Tonight the show kicks into gear with the “gooey doughnut” HOH competition that was still in progress as Thursday’s show went off the air. There’s no real reason to recap this. The goo was tough to get through, especially for Kalia. Adam initially kept up, but Rachel jumped way ahead and won! Oh yea, and everybody at some point said it is the most important HOH of the season. One more thing, Adam is extremely pissed that Kalia voted against him. Oh yes, and Rachel’s HOH victory was “for Brennnnnon!” Ugh.

After a commercial break, Rachel and Jordan celebrate in the storage room. Rachel is excited about whatever deals may come their way, and Jordan says that they HAVE to separate Porsche and Kalia. Rachel responds that she can’t make any deal with Kalia because she would vote her out the next week. “We need Adam to work with us.”

Adam is now in the bathroom, and a showering Kalia wants his attention. She apologizes for her vote against him, explaining that she believed she was voting with the house. He says that it’s “all good”, and Kalia explains that the “last thing I need is one more enemy in the house”. Adam responds in the diary room that “her word to me means nothing”.

He’s now in the bedroom still stewing over Kalia’s vote, and Porsche walks in and tells him she’s glad he survived. Porsche says that she wants two noobs in the end so that the voting “is based on play”. He asks her if she thinks Rachel is just going to put up her and Kalia, and Porsche agrees.

Kalia is now seen snoring in the bedroom as Rachel leaps out of the diary room with her HOH key. Everybody gathers but Kalia is still sleeping, which makes Rachel (and the viewers) laugh at how that’s all she does. Yes, Rachel, we know your HOH room is “amazing”, especially with all of your pictures of you and Brennnnon! Hey Kalia, you’re not exactly a fashion model yourself, so don’t be dogging Adam on his looks. God, I hate this weekly segment!

Uh oh, now it’s time for Kalia to talk to Rachel. She complains that she has never lied to anybody, and has (like Rachel) battled so hard the entire season. Really? I sat through this 45-minute speech the other night, and even in a shortened version it is hard to keep my eyes open. Rachel’s only response is that she “want to play with competitors. I think it’s a travesty that Brennnnon, Daniele, and Jeff are in the jury house.” This actually shuts up Kalia for a few seconds, and her only response is that she’s “really scared”. Rachel asks if she would take her and Jordan over Porsche to the final three. Of course, Kalia says she would. She’ll say anything to survive. In the diary room, Rachel adds to the hype by saying it’s the “most important decision I’ve ever had to make in the Big Brother house so far”. Nice script reading!

After another commercial break, Jordan and Rachel are filling airtime by talking about what they’re going to do after the show is over. Wake me when this segment is over, especially as Rachel talks about car insurance.

With that segment finally over, it is time for Porsche to grovel. She asks Rachel what she needs to make it further, and Rachel explains that she needs somebody she can trust. “I just don’t know who to trust.” When Porsche doesn’t exactly give a glowing answer to Rachel’s query, Rachel whines a bit about how she thought the two of them could have been a team throughout the entire season. Porsche says if she wants to start working together, she will promise not to nominate her next week. In the diary room, Porsche admits that this is not entirely true but she’ll say whatever she needs to make it through the week.

More filler, as Jordan is asking Adam about his girlfriend, Farah. Yeah, this is sickening, especially when Adam says his girl doesn’t like being called Donna Martin in bed. Yes, he really did say that! We then get a flashback montage of Adam’s obsession with Tori Spelling. Can you guess what this is leading up to? Jordan says in the diary room that her advice to Tori would be to run if she ever saw Adam.

Sure enough, Rachel heads into her HOH to discover another Pandora’s Box! After reading the first card, Tori Spelling is shown on the HOH room’s television. Not only is she waving, but there are a bunch of clothing racks behind her, and somehow Rachel is able to observe that she “has a wedding show!” What? Oh yeah, it’s a Grodner script.

Rachel opens the second card which says the only thing better than a visit from a celebrity is a shopping spree with a celebrity! But remember – “with every temptation comes a consequence”. Rachel claims that unless it was a Brennnon reunion she can’t open it. Well, after more scripted thoughts she finally does open it…as we go to commercials.

When we get back to the show, Rachel walks into the Pandora room to find…Jesse!!! Ugh!!! Rachel gets a celebrity shopping spree with Mr. Pectacular! Rachel is pissed. “He is not a celebrity!” Not only is Jesse in the room with Jesse merchandise, he’s wearing a speedo! Well, not quite a speedo but too close for my taste. Gross!

Meanwhile, downstairs Adam walks into another room saying “wake me if something exciting happens”. He’s even  pantsless when the doorbell rings. Jordan waits for him to zip up before answering the door, and as you may expect it is Tori Spelling! Yeah, Adam goes nuts as the least deserving player in Big Brother history gets his own prize!

Kalia tells Tori that Adam is obsessed with her, and she says “I might have heard something about that”. Poor girl. Tori says her baby is due in a month and a half, and “if it’s a boy I’m naming him Adam”. Oh please.

They show Tori around the house as Jesse shows Rachel his merchandise. She gets to see Tori on the monitors, and freaks out. Adam shows Tori his duck, and she kisses it. My God, the diary room stuff from Adam is as awful as expected! Ugh, he even tells her the story about calling his girlfriend Donna Martin while lying in bed. Jordan is mortified! Both “couples” get pictures taken, but obviously Adam is more excited about this than Rachel.

Tori then announces the shopping spree for the guests, which is the typical game of throwing on as many clothes as possible in three minutes. Tori then leaves, and they all head outside for this luxury task. Thankfully, this also means that Porsche will no longer have to wear the same two pairs of sweats for her final days in the house. Rachel is beyond bummed as she watches them gather clothes while Jesse blathers on. “Porsche doesn’t even deserve this!” Jesse finally leaves, and Rachel heads downstairs with her Jesse gear. “I hate you all!” She informs them of being stuck with Jesse, and Adam thanks her.

Frivolous time over, Adam heads upstairs to talk to Jordan and Rachel. Adam does the only thing he knows how to do…grovel. He apologizes for turning his back on them last week, but says he wants “to play with people who respect the game, and I really don’t think they do”. He wants to go to the final three with them, and Rachel says she doesn’t know what she’s going to do. He says that those two (Porsche and Kalia) must go up this week so they can’t save each other. Rachel is conflicted, though, as she abhors the idea of keeping a weak player like Adam…but at the same time she acknowledges that keeping somebody she knows she can beat is a good option. “If there’s any weak player in the hosue, it’s definitely Adam.”

Adam leaves, and Rachel and Jordan both agree they want to be final two with each other. “I refuse…refuse to let two people be in the final two that slept this whole season.” Rachel agrees, and laughs about Kalia’s “competitor speech”. Yeah, Rachel, we all do. “We already got tricked by Shelly”, advises Jordan. “We can’t get tricked by other people.”

Although a superlong commercial break had me holding the clicker in my hands, I didn’t make the change. It’s finally time for Rachel to make her nominations, and after everybody does their contracturally-obligated poses and script reading Rachel calls everybody into the house. Jordan’s key is pulled out first, followed by Adam. Kalia and Porsche are nominated, and Rachel says it is because they nominated her. “May the best man…I mean woman…or man win.”

Porsche claims that she is the strongest competitor in the house besides her (well, I guess that could be true), and after winning the veto she is going to come after Rachel next week. Kalia says she expected the nomination – “payback is a bitch named Rachel”. Rachel says she’s not scared of either of them, and says “the game didn’t start on day 55”.

So there it is – the last Sunday episode of the season. What did you think of tonight’s show? Were you excited or dismayed at the sight of Jesse? Or Tori Spelling? Or Adam’s story of calling his girlfriend Donna Martin in bed? Did Rachel make the right move in nominating Porsche and Kalia? Let us know what you think!

Thursday
Sep012011

Big Brother Season 13, Episode 25 Recap

We’ve officially hit the home stretch of season thirteen of Big Brother. There’s less than two weeks left in the season, and after tonight we’ll have five people left in the house. Outside of the competitions, the game is basically over. The feeds feature very little game talk these days, as everybody knows almost everything possible about each other.

In some respects, tonight’s episode is just going through the motions. Feed viewers know with almost perfect certainty the person that is going home tonight, although everybody thoughtfully provided enough footage for CBS to infer that it is still up in the air. Besides the eviction, we’ll get a competition for what will be billed as “the most important HOH of the season”, along with our first view of Brendon, Daniele, and Jeff in the jury house.

As you may expect, after Julie’s introduction we get to listen to the predictable responses to Rachel and Jordan being replaced by Shelly and Adam. Rachel and Jordan are ecstatic; Adam and Shelly not so much. Oh boy, and a “Jochel” comment from Rachel. Porsche is bummed that her HOH week has been ruined (she still hasn’t drank her champagne), but at least she realizes a “trained monkey” could do her job.

Shelly heads into a bedroom to contemplate what it will take to save herself. She thinks that she notices the fortune teller start to move, and gets up to play with it. Unfortunately, all of this happened before the veto competition, let alone the veto ceremony. We talked about this on last week’s episode of The Big brother Gossip Show, as Shelly sat in the room for three hours hoping for a miracle.

She’s now outside sitting with Rachel. Shelly explains that if she gets Rachel’s vote, she’ll also get Jordan’s. Suddenly she believes doesn’t need the fortune teller as “I can talk my way into this final three all on my own.” Good luck with that! She goes on about how Shelly is the perfect pawn, and that Adam will not protect them like she can. Rachel gives her a glimmer of hope by saying that she respects her game more than “floater” Adam, but she still doesn’t completely trust her to follow through. Shelly has some diamond heirloom that she wants to use as collateral for her promise. Rachel adds that she thinks that Shelly has played the game better than anybody in the house. Oooh, as a final twist it turns out that this expensive ring is just a fake copy of the real thing.

Rachel heads in to talk to Jordan about this idea, but Adam walks in just as Rachel begins her pitch. Adam explains that he’s been completely true to them, except for the week that he followed Shelly down the wrong path. Jordan says that if they let him back in he has to do whatever they say. Adam admits in the diary room that he hasn’t been the best player in the world, but he promises to do whatever they want. Rachel has him completely figured out, though, and says she thinks “Adam is just playing everyone”.

We’re back to hanging out in the backyard, and Rachel and Jordan tell Shelly that they need to have somebody who won’t backstab them. In the diary room, Rachel goes on that it may be smarter to keep a person like her to keep the heat off them. Once again, Shelly apologizes for voting out Jeff, and Jordan responds that she has to feel “secure” that she won’t just run back to Kalia and Porsche. Shelly asks for them to come up with something to prove that she’s with them. Jordan pokes around by asking if there are any competitions that she threw, and Shelly says only the banana comp. Unfortunately for Shelly, video footage showed that this was a lie, as she didn’t even try to win the puzzle comp from two weeks ago.

Shelly walks away, and Rachel explains that the “logical thing is to keep your enemies”. Jordan is confused, as she doesn’t know whether to play “strategic or personal”. Nice work, CBS, as enough doubt has been created for the upcoming vote.

After a commercial break, Julie interviews the house. The first question is about Jordan teaming up with Rachel, who interrupts her answer by saying she’s the “best”. Jordan admits she’s a “handful, and she’s very entertaining. I never get bored with her.” Kalia is asked about her first thoughts about Porsche’s Pandora’s Box, and she says “oh girl, I hope it was worth it”. Shelly is then asked what was the most difficult part of what was obviously a bad week. Yeah, it “broke my heart” to upset Jordan. “The hurt that she felt just crushes you.” Adam is asked what the best part of being the only man in the house, and he says the question should be reversed as to what “it’s like to live with the sexiest man to ever play Big Brother”. He carries on about all of his female friends, appletini’s, and 90210. Ugh. The segment ends with Rachel’s question about seeing Daniele enter the house. Yes, we get the “he was shockkkkked” response.

Yes, it is time to go to the jury house. Brendon is working out, and says that he’s been enjoying his time alone studying, picking oranges, and playing ping pong. He’s hoping for a ping pong partner, but in reality he’s just joking. On the one hand, he’d love to spend some alone time with Rachel, but is really hoping that the next evictee is Daniele.

Daniele then enters with her trademark “shockkkkker”. Brendon couldn’t be happier. She fills Brendon in on his week, and Brendon says it was much deserved. They sit down to watch the footage, and Daniele makes a crack about how she’s not used to being in jury unlike the loser Brendon. Ziiiing! After the footage ends, Brendon asks if she wants to see Jeff as the next evictee. She says part of her does, but as the limo pulls up she says that it should be Adam, as he doesn’t “deserve to win this game. Adam will do whatever Jeff wants to do.” Jeff then walks in the house, and again we get to hear “shockkkker”. We head to another commercial break.

When we return, the footage of Jeff walking in is replayed, along with him asking “is our alliance still good?” Brendon says he was surprised, but Daniele is excited. “Karma!” “Karma is what got you out”, Jeff replies. Daniele says once again that she had no desire to go after Jeff, who complains admits his departure was a “tough pill to swallow”. Jeff fills them in on how he was evicted, and about Shelly’s vote against him. “That’s rad”, says Daniele. Brendon points out that maybe they should have kept their original vets alliance.

They all sit down to view the footage, and Jeff says he is “going to throw up” as he views Kalia win HOH. The veto comp is then shown, and Jeff says “oh my god” as he sees the clown shoe that he inadvertently tossed out of the ball pit. Brendon advises him to not play the “what if” game, but Jeff is seething. Both Brendon and Daneile crack up at Porsche’s “that’s what Daniele would have wanted” remark before not using the veto. The eviction is then shown, and Jeff is bummed that he didn’t get to give Jordan any advice before walking out the door. “I hate clowns. Now I really hate them.” He admits that he wants Shelly out next, and says that she “pinpointed” him from the beginning. So much for the “explosive” footage we were promised.

Porsche is now up in the HOH to talk to Julie, who starts off by asking if she regrets opening the Pandora’s Box. I think you know the answer to that. She did get some money for her and Kalia, though, “so I guess it wasn’t so bad”. Julie’s followup is about the status of Jordan and Rachel’s final four deal, and Porsche says since it happened before Pandora it probably doesn’t stand, especially since they haven’t “filled Kalia in on how they were going to vote”. Julie concludes by asking who she would have the best shot at winning against, and Porsche says that she wants Kalia or another noob so that people don’t have to pick sides. “I want it based only on gameplay”, and adds that she thinks she has a good shot against any of the other vets.

Finally, it is time to vote, and Shelly goes first with the final plea. She thanks her family, and turns to Jordan and Rachel to tell them they are “the most important people in this room”. Kalia’s eyes light up a bit as Shelly goes on tell them “you’ve got to pick somebody now that’s going to ride with you, that’s going to go with you, that’s going to go all the way and do what we need to do to get through this game. These other people can’t say that. The past is the past. I’d like to put that behind us. The present is that room where you’re going to go cast a vote. I want you to cast that vote for me as I am with you 100%.” I must say that Kalia’s reactions to his are hilarious.

Adam is next, and he says that he had a “long speech about wizards and dragons and all things metal”. His speech is nothing like Shelly’s, as he just says they have to vote how they have to want to vote”, and that he has appreciated his time with them.

Voting finally commences with Kalia, who votes to evict Adam (“although it apparently doesn’t count”). Rachel then votes to evict Shelly, as does Jordan. Shelly is officially voted out 2 – 1! It is all hugs and smiles as she leaves the house, though.

After noting that Shelly is a “fighter”, Julie asks about the ring she offered. Shelly admits that it wasn’t real, and then says that it was her big move that led to her departure. Julie suggests that she should have waited to make that move, but Shelly says that she didn’t think she’d have another chance. It was an “early big dumb move”. Julie asks if she’s worried about having to now go meet Jeff, and she says she wants to “build that bridge back up with them” by apologizing. “Everybody loves Jeff and Jordan, and I loved Jeff and Jordan coming into the game.” She adds that when she saw Jordan’s reaction ten minutes later she regretted her move. Julie also asks about the lying, and what size of a wall they’d need for her to write her sentences apologizing for the lies. Shelly’s response is that her daughter will be making her write lots of sentences.

On to the final goodbyes, and Adam notes that she “played yourself out”. Porsche thanks her for her cleaning, and her motherly advice. “You told me when my skirt was too short, and my bathing suit was a little too sexy”. Kalia also thanks her for being her mom away from home, and notes that she did vote for her. As expected, Rachel is cocky as usual and comes right out to tell her that the promised ring was not worth a half million dollars. She goes on about how she tried to play the mother, but she didn’t need motherly advice. Jordan’s comments are as nonsensical as expected, and she repeats the “fool me once” cliché that she used at the beginning of the show. Shelly ends the segment by saying how much fun the experience was, but I have a feeling she’ll have a different opinion when she hears about how it affected her family last week.

So it all comes down to the HOH, and we have a bakery setting for the competition. Yeah, Adam is not going to win this one. The players have to make their way through a gooey pit, and through another pit of sprinkles. They then return doughnuts back to their stand, and the person with the most at the end is the winner. I predict a Rachel victory.

Sure enough, she’s the first to grab a doughnut, but Adam is not far behind! Kalia and Jordan are far behind. Unfortunately, we won’t find out who wins until after the show is over, so stay tuned to this site for info! BTW, as the goes to the final seconds, we find out there is another Pandora’s Box on Sunday, and next Wednesday and Thursday we’ll have evictions.

What did you think of this episode? Was Shelly’s last second plea worth a thought for Jordan or Rachel? How about the jury footage? Let us know your thoughts!

Wednesday
Aug312011

Big Brother Season 13, Episode 24 Recap

Judging by the comments posted after my last recap, more than a few people aren’t big fans of my cynical views of the past few episodes. Sorry, but it is just tough to be excited about a season with lackluster contestants and a heavy-handed production team that has meddled way too much throughout the entire run of the show.

I will give the production team a little bit of credit, though. This past episode was one of the few times that they tossed the tired template that has plagued the Sunday and Wednesday shows for the last few years. Instead of the show’s timeline running from post-eviction episode to nominations, over half of Sunday’s broadcast dealt with pre-eviction AND eviction episode activities. Also, Sunday’s conclusion was the veto “meddling” instead of the usual nomination ceremony.

This means that tonight’s episode will commence with the reactions to the Porsche’s announcement of the Pandora’s Box fiasco, and will also include nominations and veto competition before ending with the veto ceremony. For you readers, I’m going to attempt to be a bit more positive than usual. I may not succeed at this plan, but I’ll do my best. Really, I will.

So let’s get going with the predictable…I mean giddy reactions to the new duos twist. (See, I caught myself.) Porsche admits that she “regrets opening the Pandora’s Box. I was strong in a four person alliance. I sold them out for five g’s, and I cannot believe that I’m responsible for bringing the horrible duo twist back to Big Brother.” Kalia asks Porsche what enticed her, and Jordan answers for her – “it was money”. In case you’re not sure what’s going on, Kalia then describes that this new twist would bring both Jordan and Rachel off the block if they win the veto.

Porsche and the rest of the noobs congregate in one of the bedrooms while Rachel and Jordan head outside to celebrate. It’s a “new lease on life”, says Rachel. Jordan doesn’t look as excited as Rachel, however, because she wonders what Porsche wants. She wants a HOH with a Pandora’s Box. Rachel continues on, talking about how things haven’t gone well for them the last few weeks but they can turn it around by a veto win. “If…I mean when we win the veto, Shelly and Adam go up…this is our chance for redemption”. (I’m refraining from commenting here.)

Back in the bedroom, Kalia complains that all was perfect yesterday. “It’s still perfect now”, replies the ever-optimistic Adam. Porsche admits that she received five thousand bucks, and Kalia is shocked. Shelly, though, looks a bit down, and when Porsche asks her what is wrong she says she’s trying to figure out who should go up. Um, Shelly, that decision has been made for you already. In case the viewers don’t understand, Adam explains that the noobs HAVE to win the veto to ensure that either Rachel or Jordan goes home. Shelly now figures it out, and whines that Porsche has more “stuff in her chest than in her head”. Once out of the room, Porsche informs Kalia that she also received five thousand bucks. Kalia, as you may imagine, is not so bummed now.

It’s now nomination time, and even Jordan realizes that this is just for the cameras. It’s all about winning the veto. We still go through the motions, though, and Rachel and Jordan are put up. The segment ends with everybody promising to win the veto.

After a commercial break, Rachel and Jordan are commiserating over a comment that Porsche made in the ceremony on how they never talk to Porsche. They decide that they will indeed befriend her, but Jordan wants to wait a bit. Rachel is still saying that they HAVE to win the veto. Yes, we get it already. (Ooops, sorry.)

Jordan finally does head upstairs to talk to a surprised Porsche and Kalia. “Since they’re all outside smoking, can we just talk and get it over with?” Hmmm, interesting intro. Rachel joins them, and Jordan says in the diary room that Rachel “is the worst at talking to people”. Jordan babbles a mile a minute about how everybody has been carrying Adam and Shelly all week long. Jordan even throws in a Rachel gig, which makes Rachel laugh. The idea is to make a final four deal. Porsche admits in the diary room that she doesn’t want to work with them, but is still winning. They duo leave, and Kalia and Porsche are once again feeling pretty good about themselves.

We now switch to Shelly in the bathroom, and Jordan walks in. Shelly says hello, but Jordan ignores her. Shelly admits that she is hurt, and heads outside to talk to Adam. She tells him that she made a big move, and although many others were involved she is taking the heat. Her goal is to “write a new story, and give it a better ending”. She continues on about how the game is not “about being safe”, but Adam admits in the diary room that he’s not that interested except for the fact that it is furthering his game. This carries on as Shelly says in the diary room that she is only playing for her husband and child, and “they haven’t seen ruthless yet. They will, because I will fight to win that veto and I will fight to watch them go out of this house.”

It is veto competition time, and there’s no meeting ahead of time since everybody will be playing. They walk out to see dummies of their original partners. After a few witty comments about seeing these ousted players once again, Porsche describes how they all have to hang on to their old partners once again. Yes, yes, yes, this is the “most critical veto of the season”.

The buzzer rings, and the players are lifted up in the air. Rachel notes that most of the players are primarily using their arms, and she’s going to do what she does best – wrap her strong legs around “Brendon” and hold on tight. Sure enough, in less than three minutes Adam and Kalia are already struggling. It’s quite funny to hear Adam again say that he HAS to win this veto, and then almost immediately drop off at the 4:34 mark. Shelly says she’s “absolutely disgusted”.

At the 8:37 mark, Jordan also drops. Now Rachel is a bit bummed, but she is going to pull it out for the two of them. Around the ten minute mark, Kalia farts…yes, really, although she denies it. Shelly begins to struggle at the twelve minute mark due to her back and arms. Jordan mouths to Rachel how sorry she is, but also notes that Shelly is about to fall…which she does at 12:02. She now has to rely on Porsche and Kalia, and Rachel begins to whine about the floaters just coasting by.

After they past the 16 minute mark, Rachel remarks that she is not going to come down, and Porsche is now struggling. She drops at 18:33. It’s now between a whining Kalia and Rachel. Yeah, you know how this turns out, even with Rachel claiming that she is slipping. Rachel again calls out to Kalia that she is going to win this one, and Kalia cracks a joke on how she knows how much Rachel loves to hang on Brendon. (BTW, Kalia also adds a diary room crack on how his name is Brendon, not “Brennnnon”.) Kalia finally drops at 32:09, meaning Rachel has indeed won the same competition she won in the first week! “This is for Brendon! This is for Jeff!” Porsche feels guilty for taking the Pandora’s Box as she has to now put up Shelly and Adam.

When we return from another commercial break, everybody is heading back in after the veto comp. Shelly knows that she has to “do some swift talking and some good planning or I’m going to be heading out the door”. She heads into a bedroom, while Rachel and Jordan celebrate in the storage room. Rachel loves the fact that the “two backstabbing floaters” will now be on the block. Jordan complains about how bad she was in the comp, but also says they can’t listen to Shelly’s bullshit.

Adam is in a bedroom complaining about how awful he has been throughout the entire season, especially being the only guy left. Back to the celebration, as the girls laugh at how excited their boys will be when they see Shelly walk into the jury house. Rachel continues bashing Shelly for dropping so fast when her “life” depended on it, but Jordan doesn’t like that as she also dropped pretty quickly. Rachel points out, though, that Shelly hasn’t won anything “or done anything special” all season. Rachel’s goal is to evict Shelly this week. “From this point forward, Jordan, it’s me and you.”

Porsche and a bandaged Kalia are whining in the storage room, but Kalia’s goal is to separate Jordan from Rachel. “Remember, I’ve never broken my word to her.” She also points out that Shelly and Adam have done nothing all season. “Honestly, they’re no better than Jordan.” Since Plan A didn’t work, they have to move on to Plan B, which is working with Rachel.

Shelly finally moves out of the bedroom, and heads into the have-not room to ask Jordan if they can talk. “You gonna jump down my throat”, she responds. Shelly says in the diary room that she wants to clear the air with somebody she respects so much if she is indeed leaving this week. Jordan apologizes for her part in Thursday’s fight, and Shelly breaks down in tears as she claims that she realized in the past week that she was putting Jeff and Jordan ahead of her own family. “I actually tortured over this decision. At the point of it happening, I knew that were insurmountable consequences and I have paid the ultimate price for it.” She adds that at the end, Jordan would have made the same move if it was between her and Jeff. Jordan responds that she was at her “breaking point”, and although they hug and make up, Rachel says she doesn’t think she could ever trust her again. “I’ll forgive Shelly, but I definitely won’t forget.”

After another break, Shelly is back to work on Rachel and Jordan. She says that if they work together, she knows that she won’t make the final two. “You guys will be in complete control, but if I can help you guys get where you want to go, I am happy to help. I can only beg for forgiveness. I can’t change what has happened.” Rachel, who had been grinning through this entire speech, says that they will need help with the votes in the next round. She wants Kalia out next, and Shelly vows on God and her family that she will not go against the two of them. Shelly does not want Kalia, Porsche, or Adam in the final two slots. She even says that she’ll quit if it is between her and either of them to make the final HOH. In the diary room, though, she admits that she’s just doing whatever it takes to make it further in the game.

It is now time for the veto ceremony, and although they still have Rachel and the rest of the house goes through the motions, there is only one possible outcome. Rachel indeed takes herself and Jordan off the block, and they’re replaced by Adam and Shelly. We leave with the usual celebrations from Rachel and Jordan, and promises of fighting to survive from Shelly and Adam.

So that’s it! What did you think of tonight’s episode? Your thoughts on the Pandora’s Box twist? Shelly’s apology? The worthlessness of Adam in any competition? Was I positive enough for you guys this time? Any other comments? Please let us know!

Sunday
Aug282011

Big Brother Season 13, Episode 23 Recap

To say that I’m not excited about tonight’s episode would be quite the understatement. Events in and out of the house have soured me on this season, and what should be an interesting episode is dirtied by the knowledge of what happened after tonight’s events were taped. It’s a shame on many levels, especially after the excitement and fun of Thursday’s double eviction episode.

I have a job to do, however, so here I sit in front of my television on a cloudy Sunday evening. We’re going to be shown a HOH competition, a few flashbacks, and tears. A lot of tears. A lot of whining. We’ll even see a screamfest or two.

Unlike most shows, we actually start a day before the live eviction show with Rachel heading up to the HOH. She asks Jeff if it is true that he threw the “cornhole” competition. Jeff denies saying it OR doing it. Rachel reiterates that since it has to do with her fiancé, obviously she is going to be upset. Jeff gets upset, even though it is true. He adds that he is “heartbroken” because apparently he talks “night in and night out with his heart” to Shelly, but she must not actually be on his side.

We jump to two hours before the eviction episode, and Shelly and Daniele are all smiles as the cast heads out of the HOH lockdown. Jeff says that he’s had “just about all I can take of Shelly and her buddy buddy with Daniele. Enough is enough. If you’re not working on that side, why are you talking so much to her? I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Shelly approaches Jeff and asks “what is up your ass today, meanie deanie”. Jeff replies, “too much fucking back and forth. I don’t like it anymore. Everybody’s best friends.” He walks away, and Shelly knows that somebody has “spilled the beans”.

We’re now ninety minutes from the episode, and Shelly asks Adam how he’s voting. Adam says he’s still voting out Daniele, and Shelly asks if he’s been telling Jeff about their conversations. She presses him, and he says that Jeff is just getting paranoid. Adam adds in the diary room that he wants the final four to be him, Shelly, Jeff, and Jordan.

Adam starts playing around with Jeff, and he pulls him into the purple room to confer about what Shelly is up to. He rats out Shelly, and somehow Shelly overhears and interrupts them. She starts yelling at Jeff and says she’s “done nothing but be a horse, go in, and do everything. Now all of sudden you’re think I’m doing a swithcerooni”.

For the first time ever, Adam stands up to himself and asks Shelly if she wasn’t rustling votes for Daniele. “You’ve been in on the plan the whole time”, Shelly responds. “Did I say yes to it”, he asks. “Yes, you did!” Um, no. Adam walks out and Shelly continues to claim she’s been doing his work behind his back.

The argument moves into the hallway as Jeff points out that she hung herself by admitting to something that Jeff and Adam weren’t even talking about. “You just told on yourself.” Shelly’s response is that EVERYBODY but Jeff and Jordan has been in on the plan. This goes on and on, and in the diary room Shelly admits that she’s basically telling Jeff what she hopes he wants to hear to get back on his good graces. Good luck to that.

It’s now one hour before the episode, and Jeff asks Kalia to leave the room so he can talk to Adam, Jordan, and Rachel. Adam continues to narc off the rest of the house, and Jordan asks how he is voting. “I’m voting Daniele out.” Once again, Shelly overhears and walks in asking to sort out their situation. Jeff says they were on a team, and Shelly again deflects the blame to Adam. Round two is similar to round one until Adam starts laughing. Shelly asks why he’s laughing, and he says it’s due to her “spinning”. This is by far Adam’s best episode as he repeats over and over “why do you want to keep Dani so bad?”

Shelly finally drops the obvious fact…I mean bombshell…that nobody can possibly win at the end next to Jeff and Jordan. Jeff’s mouth drops to the floor, and Jordan says she is “in shock. I’m super disappointed. I think she used our big hearts to get her farther in the game.” Shelly goes on, claiming that Adam has been in these talks with Dani just as much as everybody else has. “Everybody has to explore their options in this game.”

Jeff retaliates by asking why she told Rachel about the thrown competition. Shelly responds that Dani told her that, but Jeff says she should have asked him if that was true. Meanwhile, Porsche and Rachel are seen in other parts of the house listening in. They both agree that they don’t want to deal with the fight.

Meanwhile, Jeff starts in on how Shelly rides the fence way too much. We’ve been saying that all season, Big Jeff! “Jeff, I can explore whatever I want.” It finally ends with Shelly walking out of the room, and Jeff walking past her saying it hurts. “It hurts me, too”, she responds.

After commercials, we recap the events of the live episode starting with the announcement that it is a double eviction week. Shelly mumbles something about how it is the worst week for it, and she’s as “scared as a cat on a hot tin roof”. Hmmm, I could have some fun cat lady comments to accompany that remark but I’ll refrain. The footage of Daniele being evicted is shown, and Kalia compares it to the “most bittersweet drink” because she is safe but is losing her best friend. Jeff doesn’t feel bad, obviously, and Shelly knows that her vote for Daniele means she has completely burned her bridge with Jeff.

They listen to the cheers for Daniele, but Jeff is still seething. Jordan says she HAS to win this HOH to protect Jeff and Rachel. She tells Rachel she’s ready to go! We then see Jordan losing to Rachel, who says she HAS to make it a good one. Obviously, Shelly also feels good about this win, but Jordan is bummed because she knows Jeff is “super disappointed”.

Adam is also bummed as it was an HOH “I should have won”. Um, you were out first, big boy. “Not just for me, but for my team.” Again, when did you go out? Yes, you were the only one who missed the first question. Shelly is conferring with Kalia and Porsche on what to do, and her idea is to put up Jeff and Jordan. Kalia says it is better to put up Jeff and Rachel, especially as she does have a promise to never put up Jordan.

Kalia announces her nominations, and Rachel says it is because she is scared of both of them. Rachel promises to win the veto, but instead it is my girl El Camino! Porsche thanks her dad for taking her to the ball pit as a kid, because the scripted lines say it “paid off”. Rachel is “100% convinced” that she is going home as she is “public enemy number one”. As they walk in, Jeff reminds Porsche that he saved her the previous week. Porsche shrugs it off as meaning nothing, and Jordan starts crying. “It’s only fair that Porsche would use the veto to save Jeff this time.” Instead, Porsche heads into the storage room to do a little dance.

Obviously, Porsche doesn’t use the veto, and Jeff obviously complains about the move. “Do you have any idea who you are right now?” Yes, Jeff, she’s the person booting you out of the game. Jeff tells Adam that he needs Shelly’s vote. Jeff pulls Shelly aside and asks if she’s going to vote him out. Shelly wants to rehash their earlier fight, and he commands Adam to vote for him. She complains about how he has treated her, and that she should give him another chance.

Julie announces that the votes are a tie, and Jeff immediately looks at Adam and asks “you didn’t vote for me”. Adam says he did vote for him before Kalia gets up to make the decisive vote. Rachel is shocked, and thinks her and Jordan are screwed. As Jeff gives out his hugs, he complains about people’s characters, and Shelly reiterates how the only way she can win money is to evict Jeff. “That was the hardest decision I’ve had to make in the game.” Jordan says on a scale of one to ten on anger, she’s at a twenty.

Jeff heads out, and Jordan hustles away in tears. She asks Rachel who voted against Jeff, and complains how they “have nobody”. Shelly is also crying, and both Porsche and Kalia tell her she did the right thing. Somehow, though, Kalia is able to be cocky about being the person who eliminated Jeff. Adam is still destroyed that Jeff didn’t believe his best friend in the world voted for him, so he makes sure that Jordan knows it wasn’t his vote.

Adam goes off into the purple room to feel sorry for himself, and Jordan and Rachel join him. “Oh my god, how did that happen”, cries Jordan, who also complains on how she gave up her phone call from home to Shelly. “I was so stupid for trusting Shelly.”

Shelly is also still in tears, and Kalia tells her there “is no crying in Big Brother”. Shelly gets on her soapbox once again, and says she has to “fight for my family”. Jordan is still complaining about how stupid she was to befriend Shelly, and this time Shelly hears it and says if that is what she really thinks then she doesn’t know her. “When you calm down, then we can talk.” Shelly says she’s not playing Jeff’s game, and feels like shit, too. Jordan jumps up and starts screaming at Shelly, and for the first time ever Rachel plays the peacemaker by pulling her into another bedroom.

It’s finally time for the HOH competition, and it is a variation of the snake game they’d been practicing all week. Jordan feels that it is an accurate representation of the Big Brother house, as Jordan and her are “surrounded by them”. The players have to roll a ball down the snake to it’s “eye socket”. If they don’t make it, their score is what hole the ball falls into underneath the platform.

Jordan starts off and gets a 18. Porsche is the second player, but her ball lands on the 11. Rachel’s score is a 13, while Shelly makes it to 16. Adam’s ball immediately falls at four. This round set up the rankings for the actual competition, though.

Adam now goes up against Porsche. He gets a ten, and Porsche has an easy path to win her round. She gets a 14 to move to the next round. Yes, once again Adam is the first one out.

Now Porsche goes up against Rachel, and Porsche hits a 20. Rachel now has to make it into the snake’s eye, but almost immediately drops at seven. “I just wanna go home”, she says on the sidelines. Porsche now goes against Shelly. Jordan hopes that Porsche loses so that she can go against Jordan. Instead, Porsche makes it into the snake eye, and Shelly’s ball drops at fifteen. It’s now Porsche versus Jordan. After hearing form Rachel how Jordan is playing “for our lives”, Porsche…oops, commercial time.

Ok, we’ve returned from the break to see Porsche’s ball slowly make it’s way right into the snake eye once again! Jordan has one last chance, but her ball drops at sixteen. Porsche is HOH! Go El Camino! “Now I get to make the decisions in the house!” Well, as we shall see later, not so much.

Porsche and Kalia start doing the worst dances known to mankind as Rachel and Jordan continue their tearfest. “Goodbye, Big Brother house”, Rachel complains as she heads into the bedroom. Shelly nabs Adam, and, of course, all is forgiven as it is officially time for Adam to jump sides once again. “I need to go where there is the most protection”, he explains.

Jordan and Rachel continue to cry, and Rachel doesn’t understand why she is suddenly so terrible at this game. Jordan wants to just give up, as “day 55 will go down in history with me as the worst day ever. I lose every competition, and Jeff leaves this house. I’ve cried so much that I can’t even cry no more.”

Now it is time for Big Brother to do it’s job to ensure that their ratings makers last a bit logner. Porsche heads into the HOH to find a pandora’s box. “Awesome”, she squeals. Porsche reads the card that states the usual crap about how the box could mean something good or bad. “Hopefully, good for me”, she says. The screen shows two boxes with $5,000 written on them, and a bottle of champagne with two glasses. “I like champagne”, she reasons. She opens up the card, and it says to claim the prize she must decide whether to open the box.

She thinks about it a few seconds, and wonders if there could be something bad. She decides to go for it, and has to open another card. She has to split the ten grand, and has to grab another envelope to read to the rest of the house. She’s now pretty nervous as she pulls everybody into the living room. The card states that she has “unleashed the duos twist back on the house for one week”, and “all the original duo rules apply”. Duos are nominated as a pair, and if the veto is used they will be removed from the block as a pair. Suddenly, Rachel’s tears are gone, and Shelly is pissed!

The card concludes with the statement that everybody must pick their partners, and this is where everything dies for Porsche. Rachel and Jordan obviously team up, as does Porsche and Kalia. That leaves Shelly and Adam. This basically takes away Porsche’s HOH week, as the smart move for her would have been to have Jordan and Rachel paired with her and Kalia. Instead…well, let’s just say nice job, CBS!

Porsche knows she’s screwed, and Rachel knows this is the greatest thing in the world! Kalia says she’s pissed that Porsche went for the Pandora’s Box. Jordan says it “feels so good to know that there is a chance for me and Rachel to pair up together, fight together, and get who we want out”. Yes, meaning Shelly.

The episode ends with the announcer saying that there will be an “epic” battle for veto shown on Wednesday. Um, no. Anybody who has viewed the live feeds knows this is not the case, as you will see in three days. Until then, let us know what you think of this episode? Is Shelly really a snake? Is the Pandora’s Box a convenient way for the producers to keep in the vets? How about Adam’s almost perfect record as the first out of every competition?

Thursday
Aug252011

Big Brother Season 13, Episode 22 Recap

Tonight marks a true rarity when it comes to CBS broadcasts of Big Brother. As I’ve complained all season, the producers work under a never-changing template. Ask me the time of a particular moment on any show, and I can generally tell you exactly what they’re going to show. Even the eviction episode is pretty predictable as the evictee is obvious the moment the veto ceremony concludes.

That’s not true for tonight’s episode. Yes, there is a double eviction, and that’s always a bit unpredictable. It’s not just that fact that makes tonight a crap shoot, though. Due to some unusual moves the last two days, it is not entirely clear who is even going to be the first evictee of the night. Even a few of the conversations held in the house earlier today are inconclusive. One set of viewers claims it points to one person; another says we could see a huge surprise.

Unfortunately, we won’t see much of the maneuvering that led to this situation, as the double eviction drastically cuts into the small amount of time that’s reserved for post-veto activities. After Julie’s explanation of how double eviction works, we jump to the reactions to Jeff replacing Porsche with Daniele. She immediately heads out of the room so she doesn’t say “things that will sink my ship”. She is going to campaign even though Kalia is her best friend.

Rachel gets out her usual lines about hating Daneile, and Porsche says it sucks to have to “pick between the two friends I have in the house”. Kalia knows that Daneile is the real target so she’s going to lay low, but it “really sucks” that her good pal is being taken away from her. Jeff adds that he will be “shocked” if Daniele doesn’t leave, and it will mean his alliance has “flipped” if that does happen.

Well, the fun starts right away, as Daniele joins Shelly in the backyard. Shelly asks how she’s doing, and Daniele’s response is that she’s not going to “roll over”. She says that it all comes down to getting Adam and Shelly’s voice, and she jumps right into letting Shelly know that Jordan, Rachel, and Jeff are the guaranteed final three. She asks if she has any shot at Shelly’s vote, and Shelly says yes but she wants to be assured that Daniele won’t put her up. “If you keep me in this house, you have my word on my grandmother’s life I will never nominate you. Ever.”

Shelly says in the diary room that Jeff and Jordan are by far her biggest allies, but if she goes to the finals with them she’ll get “zip”. She starts bawling about how she has to go against “the two people that have given me the greatest gift in the game, their friendship, but I don’t think I have any other option.”

Jump ahead a day and we see the second day of Shelly’s interrogation of Adam. She rolls out the facts of how they’re the low points of their alliance with Jeff and Jordan, and Adam admits she makes good points. Adam is not convinced, though, and says he doesn’t know if he can trust Daniele. Shelly is flabbergasted. “You’re not going to win against Jeff and Jordan! This is for a half million dollars! This is for all the metal concerts you ever want to go to!”

Adam is now lifting weights with Jeff, with Shelly and Daniele looking on. Daniele asks if he has a deal with them, and when Shelly says no she adds that he’s just “in love with them”. Shelly fills her in on her earlier conversation with Adam, and says she wants “him to be strong enough to make a big move. If he’s not, he’s not going to win”. Daniele is pissed that she’s going home because that “doofus” is the deciding vote.

We jump ahead again to last night, and Adam and Jeff are practicing the game that Big Brother has provided. Adam says that in case it is the HOH device, he’s “going to practice all night”. Shelly is now sitting with Rachel, and she starts to, believe it or not, work on Rachel. She hits Rachel right where it hurts by telling her that Jeff threw the “cornhole” game that led to Brendon’s departure. Rachel is pissed! “If they screw over Brendon like that, they’ll probably try to screw me over.”

Rachel heads inside, and asks to talk to Daniele to investigate. Daniele says that it is true, and Rachel then asks about joining her and Porsche in a team. As much as she hates her guts, Rachel says it “might be a better game move”. Rachel asks if she has the votes, and when Daniele says she has Shelly’s vote, Rachel says no. Daniele is shocked that she has “a glimmer of hope in red extensions and furry boots. I will do anything to stay, even if that means making a deal with the devil.”

Shockingly, Julie Chen lets us know that the house just “exploded” when Jeff learned that Shelly has done this work on Daniele’s behalf. We then head into the house and Julie announces the double eviction. We jump right to the final pleas, and Daniele begins. She starts with the usual thank yous, and being that she is supposedly the only person in the house with a love and respect for the game she deserves to stay. Say what? “It also saddens me that these people are too afraid to stand on their own two feet and make a stand, and use the brain the Good Lord has graciously given them. I came here to play a game that I love, but unfortunately other people had a different agenda. That agenda is to sit around for the entire summer to write Jeff and Jordan a paycheck. So congratulations!” Wow!

Kalia gets up and admits she can’t follow that, so “vote for me”. She sits down and voting begins with Jordan, who obviously votes to evict Daniele. Porsche is next, and she votes to evict Kalia, as does Shelly. So here’s the crucial vote – who does Rachel vote for? She votes against “bad game play and backstabbers”. Yes, she votes against Daniele, as does Adam. Daniele is evicted 3-2!

Julie announces the decision, and hugs only her friends before saying “step it up, people”. After both saying the silly “shocker”, Julie asks about what went wrong and we get a repeat of her final plea. “Adam is the worst player to ever play this game!” Julie points out that she looked like she was coasting but screwed it up by making a play after Jeff. “I’m not a coaster.” We jump right to the goodbye messages, and Shelly says she is “really impressed with her”. Jeff jokes about being her “best friend”, and Kalia breaks down crying as she talks about making a great friend. She promises to make sure that Rachel sees her “stupid fiancé” real soon. Of course, Rachel is all giddy and says she doesn’t care about her “stupid jury vote”. She hates her, and says she’s not “half the game player your dad was”. Oh boy.

It’s now HOH time, and as expected it is a question game called “Before or After”. Julie names two events, and they have to say if the first one was before or after the second event. Everybody gets the first answer correct, but Adam is out on the second question. Everybody but Jordan and Kalia get the next question wrong, but Jordan messes up the final question making Kalia the winner! Wow! She grabs Porsche and Shelly to confer as we go to a commercial!

When we return, Rachel is sitting by herself as the others are wandering around. Julie brings them into the living room, and Kalia nominates Jeff and Rachel. After another commercial break, we head out to the veto contest. Joining Kalia, Jeff, and Rachel is Porsche, Shelly, and Adam. This competition is called “Clowning Around”, and the players have to find clown shoes in a vat of balls. Rachel si the first to find one, followed by Shelly, Adam, and Porsche. Jeff finally finds one, and Porsche is the first to grab one to secure the victory! Nice work, El Camino! Jordan is in tears, and Adam grabs a quick smoke as we head to commercials.

Julie again gathers the troops, and Adam informs Porsche where to stand. Rachel gets to make a final plea, but she doesn’t know what to say. She says it would be a good choice to save her, but if not “good game everyone”. Jeff says his “action speak for themselves”, and says she “has nice hair, too”. Porsche makes the obvious decision not to use the veto…and we go to yet ANOTHER commercial!

Time is winding down as head to our second eviction. Jeff is yelling at Shelly as Julie calls them into place, and Rachel looks to be having a meltdown. Rachel gets to make a second plea, and she doesn’t make a lot of sense (as usual). Jeff says it is “simple” – and points to Adam and Shelly as people that need to vote for him despite one fight. Jordan is still bawling. “Respect me, and respect Jordan.”

Jordan is the first to vote, and obviously votes to evict Rachel. Porsche is next, and votes to evict Jeff. Adam’s vote is also obvious, as he votes against Rachel. Shelly is in tears as she votes to evict Jeff. It’s all up to Kalia! Wow! She says that Jeff is “awesome” but she has to evict him! He tells Jordan to “stay strong” and heads out the door. Jordan is crying that she has “nobody” on their side to Rachel, and Porsche counsels Shelly.

Julie asks if the backdoor of Daniele was a bad move, and he says it wasn’t. “Nobody in there has a sack. I don’t know if I can say that, but they don’t. I’m the only one who would have did anything in this game, and I had to step up to do something. And a couple of people who slept until now - it’s day 55 - they just woke up in there, won a couple of competitions.” Ok, enough as he rambles on. “I’m a little fired up, Julie.” The interview ends without the start of the next HOH competition. Fire up those feeds!

Well, two strong people hit the road tonight. What did you think of the episode? Are you happy Daniele is gone? Or Big Jeff? Why is Rachel bawling? Tell me your thoughts!