Big Brother - Season 11, Episode 14 Recap

When we left Thursday’s CBS broadcast of Big Brother, Chima had just won HOH and was celebrating as only she can - by cackling at her own jokes. Will she get that lotion she so desires? Will she fulfill Ronnie’s wish and nominate Russell? We’ll find out tonight, along with a promotional appearance by Jeremy Piven to try to convince us that The Good is a worthwhile movie (good luck on that).

After the lengthy recap (including Ronnie‘s fart while talking about class), we proceed with a replay of Ronnie’s diatribe against Michelle, who says he’s just “bitter because he didn’t even make it to the jury house. The Big Brother Encyclopedia didn’t even make it past week four”.

Lydia is happy that she survived, but is bummed out that Jessie may not have voted for her. Jeff throws out a couple of clichés when describing how happy he is that the “rat” is finally gone, while Jessie says that his elimination throws a “wrench in the plans. We lost a wingman.” He keeps going, but it’s hard to follow what he’s saying. Kevin also has some strong words, as he tends to do only when he knows nobody can hear him.

After Ronnie’s exit, Kevin tries to inform Michelle that Ronnie’s anger is only because she was the swing vote. Russell is happy that Ronnie’s gone, but the fact that Chima, Jessie and Natalie didn’t vote his way shows they’re not loyal to him. Kevin says that he thought Ronnie had the mystery power, and Jeff says he didn’t use it because he knew Ronnie was leaving.

We then move on to Chima’s win in the HOH competition. Chima babbles a bit about how happy she is that herself, Jessie, and Natalie are safe, and the fact that Russell had to hand him the HOH key is “sweet revenge, baby”. Russell knows that he’s going to have to “kiss some major ass” this week, while Lydia knows that she’ll be nominated for the third time because her best friend is Natalie, “my arch nemesis”. Jeff warns in the diary room that she shouldn’t be too excited, since the coup d’etat means he has the upper hand this week.

Almost everybody is now in the kitchen, and Chima jokes about drawing names out of the hat for the nominations. The mystery power comes up again, and Jordan says that they’re just calling it the “wizard” power. Natalie, the expert of everything, informs the house exactly what the mystery power entails. Jeff says he’s going to “use it wisely”.

Michelle and Lydia are now talking in the bedroom, and Lydia thinks the nominees will be the two of them. In another bedroom, Chima is telling Natalie that the only safe people are her and Jessie. Natalie is hinting at who she wants put up, but Chima doesn’t believe Jeff and Jordan are after her. Natalie also points out how strong Russell is, but he wouldn’t put up her or Chima the following week if he wins HOH.

And now the Princess gets her HOH key, and the usual babbling about the pictures occurs. We’ll just skip this segment, as we always do. Everybody finally leaves, and Michelle says she hopes that people other than herself are the targets. Her and Chima have a conversation that really leads to nowhere except that Chima wants a “girl’s alliance”.

After a commercial break, Chima and Russell are chatting in the HOH. Russell says he’s trying to mend fences, and apologizes for what happened earlier in the week. He attempts to say that he would never put her up due to “personal issues”, but Chima says she has a hard time trusting him. Uh oh, this conversation gets heated when Michelle’s name comes up. They hug, but Chima says again in the diary room that she doesn’t trust him, but keeping him may be in her best interest.

It’s now filler time, as Jordan and Jeff watch a spider. Jordan wants to know how spiders make webs, and Jeff thinks they come of their “wrist, like Spiderman”. Um, ok. She also wants to know how they mate, “like horses do it from behind”. Oh boy.

We move on to Chima chatting with Jessie, Jeff, Michelle, Natalie, and Kevin about being raped by a serial killer. She says the aftermath of that attack proved to herself about how strong she is. Everybody is obviously blown away by her story. Kevin says she has a whole new “respect” for her because she can still act cheerful and happy despite her ordeal. Jeff pretty much says the same thing.

Now we move on to Jeff and Jordan in one of the bedrooms, and Jordan thinks the two of them are going up. Jeff doesn’t believe it, and asks why Russell wouldn’t be the one put up. Jordan gets into bed with Jeff, and tells him she thinks Michelle has the mystery power. Jeff assures her that Lydia and Russell are going up, with Michelle the replacement. He says in the diary room that it’s hard to not tell her he has the mystery power. “We’re going to be fine.”

It’s now time to sell a bad movie. Everybody is lounging around the house when the doorbell rings. They all sprint to find Jeremy Piven! He brings them all into the living room, and Jeff is more than excited that one of his “top eight” is in the house. Chima’s also excited about his “great energy”. Piven asks the house who they think will be the first one to “lose it”, and then immediately points to Lydia (to great laughter). “God bless you, because I’ve been here for all of eleven minutes, and I’m about to have an emotional breakdown.”

He also asks if there’s been any hooking up, and Jordan’s eyes dart right to Jeff. What about Lydia and Jessie? Lydia says she laid on top of Kevin, so Piven asks if “Big Brother made you straight?” Piven then says that there will be a luxury competition, and the winner will see his new movie, The Goods.

The trailer is then shown, and of course they’re all excited by it. Piven adds that one winner will also get a big cash prize. “They seemed like a bunch of really nice kids”, Piven adds in the diary room. “I don’t think I could last very long at all. I think I would go completely insane.”

We’re led to believe that everybody immediately went outside for the competition (actually, it was held hours later), and Jessie asks how they’re going to meet up with him “on the other side”. Oh, Jessie.

The backyard is set up like a used car lot, and Chima describes it like an episode of Sanford and Son. They have to split up into two teams, but Jeff is bummed that Jordan’s not on his team. To win the game, they have to fill their car with as much junk as possible, and also file into the front seat. All of the “goods” have price tags which are then used to compile the point totals. Chima doesn’t play, but by choosing a team she gets to share in their rewards. Obviously, she picks Jessie’s team because, as Natalie claims, “we’re winners”.

The game begins, and again there’s no reason for a play by play. Ok, Jordan is precious when she describes that a seventeen-point bear is better than something that’s only ten or eleven points. Really? They all finally squeeze into their cars as time expires, and Jeff’s team ends up with 399 points. Jordan’s team, though, beats them with 410 points. Jeff, Kevin, Lydia, and Michelle are on slop, while the rest get to see Piven’s movie. Jordan’s teddy bear is the deciding factor!

For the big payday, the five winners have to grab envelopes with “commission” checks, and the highest check wins. Russell’s check is for ten grand, so he’s the winner!

After another commercial break, we see Jessie half-sleeping in the bathroom couch. Lydia crawls on top of him, and he complains he can’t breathe. She jumps off him, and storms off. Lydia says in the diary room that even though he voted to evict her, she’s going to still be his friend. As Lydia picks her feet next to Jessie, Natalie swoops in to grab him to go sleep in the HOH. Yeah, Lydia’s not happy.

Jessie and Natalie are now in the HOH, and when Jessie comes in Natalie immediately starts questioning him about what Lydia told him. Natalie wants a hug, and when he does she tells him to “go hug Lydia next”. She also goes off on how Lydia is after her, and he should remember that whenever he talks to her. He says that she needs to let him do what he needs to do (oh boy), and after they survive the week he’ll stop talking to her forever. It’s so hard to be Jessie.

Jessie heads downstairs, and for some reason we get harp music as we see footage of both Jessie and Natalie lying around apart from each other. As Natalie falls asleep, Jessie returns to apologize. “You guys are all I have.” Natalie picks up exactly where they left off before, and Chima chimes in how they don’t trust Lydia.

It’s now nomination time, and you know the drill here. Everybody talks about how worried they are as we watch Chima look at the picture wall and insert keys into the nomination box. Chima says her nominations are based on “personal and strategic reasons”, keeping in mind the people who have betrayed her.

She calls everybody in for the ceremony, and the first key drawn is Natalie (big surprise), followed by Jessie, Kevin, Michelle, Jordan, and Jeff. The nominees are Russell and Lydia! Chima says it should be no surprise that Russell is on the block because she doesn’t trust him. Lydia is told that she’s up because she doesn’t want her to vote for him. (What?)

Lydia jokes that “mama bear Chima is protecting her little baby bear Natalie, and they’re coming after the lone wolf Lydia. Very predictable.” Russell says he has “so much built up anger inside right now that I want to unleash on a couple of people. But I’m not going to do that…I’m going to kiss some ass and try to win people over with kindness.” Good luck with that.

Jessie adds that he’s worried about the “mystical wand power” (what?)..’wizard man”…”mystical being”…”the unicorn that’s going to come out of nowhere and say you’re gone. Go home.” Jeff adds that he has the ultimate decision on who goes home this week.

And that’s it for tonight’s episode. See you Tuesday!

Big Brother - Season 11, Episode 13 Recap

Welcome to what could possibly be the most explosive BB episode of the season so far. We have the possible eviction of either Lydia or Ronnie, and either one could be extremely entertaining. There’s also the added drama of the “mystery power”, and imagine if either of the nominees were the recipients (highly doubtful, though). We’re also bound to see footage of the various fights of the last two evenings, although producers are going to have a tough time editing hours of potential footage into one or two short segments.

So here we go with the aftermath of Michelle declining to use the POV. Michelle says she was happy to not use the veto, as taking Lydia down would not guarantee Ronnie’s departure. Jordan explains the obvious - that all they need are four votes to eliminate Ronnie, who adds that Michelle’s not using the veto shows she has “no loyalty” to anybody. He admits he doesn’t know if he has the votes to stay.

Kevin heads outside to a depressed Lydia, who tells him that he may want to “avoid me like the plague”. As always, he gives her a pep talk.

Michelle and Jordan are now sitting outside talking about books, and an annoyed Russell walks by and asks if he interrupted their conversation. He says in the diary room that he doesn’t believe they were talking about books, and then asks Jordan what they were really talking about. She jokes that she can tell he thinks she’s “scheming” about him, and Russell says in the diary room he needs to find out “what’s going down”.

We jump back to the HOH, and Russell is grilling Michelle about the conversation. Michelle tries to laugh it off, and adds that Jessie, Chima, and Natalie want him out. Uh oh. She then makes the mistake of telling him about meetings she had with that crowd, and that he shouldn’t trust Chima because he’s a liar. Russell then goes off on Chima about how jealous she always is of other girls talking to him.

Now Jessie is in the HOH with Russell, and he asks when Jessie was going to inform him of Chima’s backdoor plan. “Chima would have to have the power to do that”, Jessie explains, and when pressed he adds that he’s never heard Chima say anything like that. Russell then throws out Michelle’s name as his source.

Natalie is now with Jessie and Russell outside, and Russell complains that he doesn’t know who is lying to him. Yeah, we know where this headed now that Natalie is involved. Russell sends Natalie off to grab Chima for a conversation, which she is more than happy to do. Of course, she also fills in Chima just exactly why he wants to talk, and tells her to play nice even though “we want him out in the long run”.

Chima finally heads upstairs, and the anger is automatically transferred to Michelle. “Bring her in here”, demands Chima. She heads down to grab her, and Michelle immediately knows there’s trouble. Michelle says that the backdoor story is NOT true, which sets Russell off. “You just said she wants to win HOH so she can backdoor you!” Michelle explains that she thought the two of them were a team, and “that we’d share information with each other and not the entire house”. Chima denies saying anything, and all three just end up going back and forth (as usual).

Chima, though, is offended that Russell says he doesn’t care what she has to say, and this makes her think that HE is lying to her. He storms out of the room, calling them “debases”, and then the two of them start screaming at each other while the house looks on. They are literally in each other’s faces, and after it heads outside it carries on even louder. “Her mouth was going 90 miles a minute…that girl is sassy”, Jordan says.

After Chima heads back inside, Russell yells that she needs to “act her age”. Uh oh, here’s round two! Michelle and Natalie pull Chima back, and in the bedroom Chima says that while Russell wasn’t her target before, he is now. “It’s season of the rat, part two”, says Michelle as the segment finally ends.

When we return from commercials, it’s time for Ronnie to work the house. He says to Jessie, though, that he knows he’s going home, and that “I accept it”. Yet, in the diary room, he explains that all he needs are four vote, and he has three. He thinks that Jordan may feel sorry for him, and toss him a sympathy vote. Jessie is skeptical, but encourage him to try.

Unfortunately for Ronnie, Jeff has high hopes of playing the “romance card”. Cue the sexy, porn-ish background music. “I’ve been looking forward to kissing her, and tonight is the night”. Sure enough, we hear their lips. Jordan says he’s a good kisser - “he’s not sloppy, wet”.

Sure enough, here comes Ronnie. “I’m the houseguest who refuses to leave.” Bad timing, you silly man, as Jordan and Jeff continue to kiss. Sure enough, he talks about how humble and full of class he is, although a fart noise interrupts his speech. Sure enough, it was Ronnie who farted. He begins begging for a sympathy vote, and Jeff laughs in the diary room that he was working on Jordan while Ronnie was working on them. “I can’t say the word, but Ronnie is one of those guys who stops you from doing something with a lady, if you know what I mean.”

Silliness finished, we move on to Julie’s interview with the house. She comments on Lydia’s hideous eye makeup, but says her first question is for Jordan. Yeah, you know what’s coming here. Oh wait, she’s asking about the Chima/Russell fight! She says all she could think about was to “stay out of the way”. Oh, you really are a precious angel. “It was very entertaining.”

Julie moves on to Michelle, and asks her about the mood of the house. “I think the house is definitely divided”, she replies. You think? “It’s tense tonight.” Julie asks if it’s never not tense, and of course that’s right.

Ugh, we move on to Jessie, and his first ever week on slop. Did America’s gift of squid and squash help at all? “It helped for like the first three days, and that’s it.” Ugh. He reminds us again that he’s a body builder, so he can eat anything for more than seven days.

Russell is in the HOH when we return, and Julie begins by asking him if his emotions got the better of him. He agrees, and he goes on about how it was a moment where everybody snapped. Julie then asks about how he will deal with the backlash, and he admits it will be tricky. He then kisses her ass about how beautiful she is, and Julie says that won’t help him win the game. The final question is which of the two - Jeff or Jessie - will be the better ally. He really doesn’t answer, as expected.

Julie then moves on to the coup d’etat vote, and after 12 million votes it’s time to tell us who won. No surprise, it’s Jeff!!! Unfortunately, he can’t pronounce “coup d’etat” as he reads the instructions on the car. “This is crazy. I love it!”

It’s now time to return to the house, and Julie asks the house if the “coup-holder” wants to use it. Nobody stands up, so we move on to the final speeches. Lydia goes first, and babbles about being blessed and grateful.

Ronnie then stands up, and immediately starts crying as he thanks those who cast him because “being in this house is an absolute dream come true for me on so many levels.” He thanks Jessie for helping him lose twenty pounds in the house, and then says that when people go vote they need to decide who will help them get to the end. He ends it by saying that his wife told him he needs to see the good in everyone, and that he does see it in everybody but Michelle. “I have come to believe, and I wanted to say some very truthful things but I’m going to be nice, that you’re the worst human being I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. And I absolutely feel sorry for you.” Ugh! Double ugh!!!

Julie cracks that she doesn’t think he’ll be getting a vote from Michelle, and the voting indeed begins with Kevin. He votes to evict Ronnie, but Natalie votes to evict Lydia in hopes of a “miracle”. Chima is up next, and votes to evict Lydia. It’s 2 - 1 in favor of Ronnie!!! Nice planning by CBS!

After another commercial break, Jessie also votes against Lydia. Michelle, though, votes to evict Ronnie, as does Jeff and Jordan. (Gotta love Jordan being the deciding vote.) When the announcement is made, Ronnie hugs everybody but Michelle, who cries out he had no “ill will” towards him. “Be quiet…and scene!” he yells as he walks out.

Everybody is pretty subdued as we wait for the interview, and Julie does indeed start by asking his rant against Michelle. “She has no absolute loyalty to anybody in that house other than her”, he explains. God, I wish I was doing this interview. “I made a miscalculation of trusting her last week...and she absolutely flipped on me the minute I was nominated.”

Julie does throw a somewhat tough question at him regarding whether the same could be said of him. Come on, you know it’s “different” when it’s for Ronnie’s benefit. “The difference between Michelle and myself is that I have ultimate loyalty to Jessie, Natalie, and Chima…Michelle would ultimately betray anybody.” He babbles on about “actions”, as he had from day one. He brags that when she refused to see the logic of keeping him, he “put the vice on” her to try to sway her vote. Ugh.

The goodbye messages start with Kevin telling him that “he got what he deserved”. Jessie tells him that he’s awesome, and Russell says that it was a “strategic move”. Chima also says he’s awesome, and vows to get Russell for him. Michelle immediately says how much she hates him. “You lied to me; you manipulated me; backstabbed me over and over. Get the heck out the door, you dork.” Good riddance.

It’s now time for the HOH competition, and as expected it’s a questions comp. We see footage from last night of viewer messages to the house, and everybody’s reactions to the silliness. Sure enough, the competition (“Say What?”) are true/false questions about these messages. I’m not going to replay each question, but on the first question Lydia and Michelle are eliminated. Everybody answers the next question correctly, but on the following round Jessie is eliminated. Jordan and Jeff are the next to go out, leaving Natalie, Chima, and Kevin. Looks like Jeff will have to use his mystery power. Chima is the only one with the correct answer on the next question, and wins HOH! Will she do as she promised to Ronnie?

We return one last time to the house, as Chima squeals her happiness, and thanks Ronnie for the study group they had about the messages. As always, she laughs at her own joke when she replies “lotion” to Julie’s question about what she’s looking forward to receiving as HOH. This is going to be an interesting week. The final question is whether she looks forward to the power or luxuries more. No surprise, it’s the power and safety.

Wait, we’re not done. We get a viewer question for Lydia about what kind of tattoo she’d get to depict her time on Big Brother. “It would be a gigantic key with ‘11’ inscrolled on the top of it, maybe with Kevin‘s name on it since he‘s my sugar bear.” Kevin is then asked who he thinks needs a makeover the most, and he answers with Natalie. (Duh!)

Filler time is now completed, and the show is over. See you on Sunday!

Big Brother - Season 11, Episode 12 Recap

Here we go with another Tuesday episode of Big Brother. Tuesday’s are always very predictable, as we know we’re going to see reactions to the nominations, the veto competition, and the veto ceremony. Oh yeah, and lots and lots of filler. I expect one segment to concern the “mystery power”, and everybody’s theories as to what it means and who has or will win (voting actually ends tonight).

It’s really too bad that the TV deadline for this episode can’t be pushed back a few hours, as once again there was plenty of excitement in the hours after the veto ceremony. Just like the Ronnie fiasco a couple of weeks ago, all of this action will have to be squeezed into one short segment that will open Thursday’s eviction show.

So here we go with the reactions to Russell nominating Ronnie and Lydia. Russell says he put Ronnie up because he “wanted to see where everybody’s loyalties lie, and who they’re going to side with”. Ronnie knows that Russell wants him evicted, but “I do have allies. I’ve risen from a worse scenario than this before, so who knows what the future holds.”

Jeff is happy that Russell held up his end of the bargain, and says that he and Jordan are just going to lay low this week. Lydia, though, is upset because “I used to be in an alliance with Russell. Now Russell has nominated…and I have no idea where I stand at the moment.” She’s seen in her bedroom acting sad, and Kevin comes in to give her a pep talk. (Cue the acoustic guitar.) It doesn’t really work because “no matter who you are up against it doesn’t feel good”.

Ronnie is now seen walking up to the HOH to convince Ronnie to save him. “If I have to cry in order to get some success right now, I have no shame in doing that.” And cry is exactly what he does as he admits to the conversation with Lydia. “I have never gone against you. I have never done anything to even try and damage your game in this house…I want us to keep the team together to get Lydia and Kevin, those stupid floaters, out of this house.” Russell tells him that he made some good point, but in the diary room admits that he knows it’s all fake tears.

Chima now enters the HOH to flirt. She does her usual laughing at her own jokes, but eventually tells him that she thinks Lydia should go home. Russell says that while he does want her gone, he wants Ronnie to leave first. She asks him why she hates him so much, and he gets a bit heated as he complains about all of his lies. “This is your week, and I’ll do what you want”, she finally concedes.

Now we see Natalie whispering to Jessie about how Lydia thinks she’s safe, and how she wants to break them up. In the diary room, Jessie says that he thinks Ronnie is a “stand up guy”, and we cut to him talking about this to Jessie. For some reason, Chima exclaims that the plan she discussed with Russell is to vote Lydia out. “The hell we did!”, he responds. The two of them argue about this for a bit, as Jessie looks bored (and concerned). Natalie explains that while they want Ronnie to stay, they have to work on this “on the DL”. Um, no. Everybody knows that you want him to stay, Natalie…even Jordan.

After a commercial break, we see Michelle and Natalie chatting while playing pool. Natalie thinks that she’s the key to keeping Ronnie, and talks to her about how Lydia has “weekly alliances”. She’s not buying it, and tells her that she doesn’t trust Ronnie. “So far I’ve been laying low,” she says in the diary room, “but this week I have to calculate where my safety is.”

Jessie enters the pool table area, and Michelle asks him about the situation. Jessie confirms that she’s the deciding vote, and Michelle complains that it’s too hard to be in the middle.

We move on to the choosing of the players for the veto competition. Ronnie says his worst case scenario would be Kevin, Jordan, or Jeff, as none of them would use the veto to save him. Lydia says that she’d like to see Kevin’s name because he’s her “sugar bear”. Ugh. Russell picks Michelle’s name, which doesn’t please Natalie. Ronnie pulls out Jessie, while Lydia does indeed get Kevin. Russell picks Chima to be the host.

Immediately, we cut to the competition, and there’s a bunch of Roman statues, including a live male model who Kevin wants to “touchicus”. The players get five minutes to study everything in the backyard, and Kevin says he immediately knows that it’s a counting contest. It is funny, though, when Ronnie sticks his head into a box of rats.

After they all talk about the best case scenarios, the contest begins. They have to guess a number value for each question, and then after seeing everybody’s guess they can decide to stay or fold (there’s a variation of this game every year). The first question is how many jewels are on the emperor’s chariot, and everybody but Jessie folds. Funny thing is that Kevin was only a point off from the correct answer. Ronnie’s obviously happy with this result.

For the second round, they have to guess the number of arrows in a shield. Russell, Jessie, and Kevin stay in this round (after we hear Ronnie’s strategy of folding in every round), and the winner this time is Russell. Kevin is out because he was farthest from the correct answer - Lydia is bummed.

In the next round, they have to guess the number of grapes. Russell, Lydia, and Jessie stay, and Russell again wins a point. “Get ready to pack your bags, boy”, he snarls at Ronnie. Lydia is now eliminated, and she hopes that she can trust Russell.

Next up is the number of belt marks of the gladiator, and Michelle is the only one to stay in this round. “Let’s see how many marks were on the hot guy’s belt”, Chima says, and it turns out that Jessie would have won that round.

The rat cage is up next, and Michelle says she went with a “way lowball number to throw everybody off”. When Ronnie guesses 125 rats, Russell asks if he included himself. Zing!!! Michelle is the only one to stay in, and this time Ronnie would have won. Michelle and Russell are now tied with two votes, and she brags that she’s much smarter than Ronnie.

Now they have to guess the number of feathers on a helmet, and Michelle and Jessie are the only two to stay. Jessie says the only reason he stayed was because he was tired of Michelle getting “free points”, but Michelle is closest and wins the POV! She claims that she now has more power than the HOH, and I guess she’s right. Lydia is still worried that Ronnie will get into people’s heads, and he says that “everybody has a price” and will find out what Michelle’s price is to use the veto on him. Good luck with that.

Sure enough, after a commercial break Ronnie begins working on a clearly disinterested Michelle. “I’m not above begging”, he says. “I don’t know what I can do, but I swear I’ve been nothing but honest with you”. Oh Lord.

Later that night, Michelle comes out and asks Russell to go inside to talk. Chima shakes her head as they walk away, and Natalie says that she thinks Michelle is “shady”. Inside the HOH, Russell talks about how he doesn’t have “anyone as a team, and I think you’re in the same boat”. She says she wants to be on his team. “If you’re down, I don’t think anybody would know.” Meanwhile, Jessie and Natalie make their way to the HOH, and invites them to play chess. Russell complains that the two of them are always keeping tabs on him. “(Natalie) can’t win anything. She’s skated around on the back of me and Jessie”. While this is going on, Natalie is trying to get Jessie to go back into the HOH, and Jessie says he’s worried that they may use the veto to put him up.

Now Natalie is outside with Ronnie, telling him that Michelle won’t be using the veto on him. “Your only hope is to possibly convince her.” He says he has tried “compassionately and very politely”, but now is the time for him to be more forceful. Ronnie says that Kevin and Lydia have no allegience to anybody, and that if he leaves the house Jessie and Natalie blame her for his eviction. “You will be evicted if I leave that door, and you will not make it to the final two.”

After commercials, Ronnie, Chima, Natalie and Kevin are laughing in the kitchen as Russell walks in. “Schemers”, says Russell, and Chima’s smile immediately disappears. They sarcastically banter back and forth for a bit, and Chima says that Lydia is his “girlfriend…actually, no, it’s Michelle that’s your girlfriend”. Kevin says he had a good conversation with Michelle the previous night, and Chima adds “so did Russell”. It’s a bit uncomfortable for the others, and Russell says in the diary room that she’s “become the possessive girlfriend that I’ve always dreaded”.

Russell heads outside, and immediately tells Jeff the entire conversation, including a line about how Chima should become a comedian. “I should have put her ass up instead of (Ronnie).”

Natalie is then seen heading upstairs to talk to Jessie in the HOH, and is followed by Chima. Jessie then relays the story as he heard it, and Chima says Russell just doesn’t like hearing the truth. Now, we jump to Chima talking to Ronnie, and he explains that it would not be surprising if the veto is used on Lydia to get Jessie or Natalie on the block. “She’s book smart, but she has no common sense”, he complains. Russell again overheard Ronnie talk about him - this time it’s that he’s “not as smart as he thinks he is”. This time, Russell walks in to let them know he heard everything. Oh Ronnie, your big mouth is really the end of you.

Natalie comes in to inform them what they already know, but Chima plays innocent and claims that Russell is just paranoid. Jessie also comes in and apologizes for Ronnie for failing at saving him, but Chima is throwing a big target on herself by carrying on. She continues to babble, though, as Russell heads upstairs, and he says in the diary room there’s no reason for him to keep her. (Nice edit to give us some doubt as to what will happen in the final segment.)

It’s finally time for the veto ceremony, and as usual we all hear the usual blabber on what Michelle should do. Michelle finally calls everybody in, and Ronnie is given the first opportunity to “lie…I mean speak”. Good one, Michelle. His speech is very underwhelming, as is Lydia’s. Of course, Michelle doesn’t use the veto, although she words it in a way to make it sound like she is going to use it.

Michelle babbles that she hopes she’s now on the winning team, and Russell says he considers he a “new ally”. Lydia doesn’t feel confident, and hopes that Ronnie doesn’t have the “mystery power”. Ronnie claims that he’s meaner when times get tough, and that he has some moves that nobody has seen yet. Yeah, right.

See you Thursday!!!

Big Brother - Season 11, Episode 11 Recap

Here we go with another Sunday night episode of Big Brother. Truthfully, don’t expect much tonight, especially if you’ve been watching the feeds. Most of the episode will revolve around Thursday’s endurance competition, and then we’ll see the usual unveiling of the HOH room, a bit of scheming, and the nominations. It’s doubtful they’ll have time for much beyond that.

Well, there are a couple of other issues to deal with - namely Casey’s explosive exit and the announcement that the cliques are (thankfully) over. Oh yeah, and the “mystery power”.

Surprisingly, we start with the HOH competition, and Chima’s complaints that the “never knew the diploma would hurt so much. Can I just get my GED?” Russell says that he needs to win this competition.

We jump from Russell’s quote to the announcement that the cliques are ka-pewie. Jeff says that he never felt like he was part of the clique anyway, so now it’s time “for me to take my shot at them”. Natalie wasn’t happy, though, because she was “looking really pretty” by the existence of these cliques.

Chima, though, couldn’t be happier. “I’m very pleased to say see you later, dorks.” That may be the funniest thing she’s said all season.

Back to the HOH comp, and the entrance of rain on their swinging contraptions. Jordan complains about being cold, but you can hear Ronnie yell about how he’s used to it since he had cold showers all week. That little pit bull Natalie, though, isn’t having such an easy time. “The longer it was spinning the dizzier I got…it was an amusement park ride from hell.”

Jeff continues to babble clichés about do or die, but throws in a line about Casey. Yes, we now go back to Casey’s argument with Natalie and Jessie as he left. Jeff says it was “bittersweet” to see him leave, and we hear Casey’s awesome line about making Jessie a sandwich. Natalie complains that he didn‘t “leave with any dignity or class“, while Russell raises questions about who was the one vote for Casey (which was him).

Back again to the HOH competition, and Jessie complaining about how he didn‘t get to compete. He goes over those who he knows will work for him, but adds that Russell is a “loose cannon“. Kevin is the first to fall at the 21st minute mark. He says that he doesn‘t care who is “ashamed“ of him; it just feels good to be off the swings.

Shortly after that, for reasons only she knows, Lydia asked Kevin if he would hater her if he dropped. Which she then does at the 25 minute mark. Jessie‘s clearly not happy, but has Kevin pick his “graduation present“. His prize? $5,000! He’s happy, but hopes he’s not targeted because of it. Lydia then chooses her gift, and receives a 42” flat-screen TV. Jessie is still not impressed. “You didn’t try at all! I’m not going to look past that at all.” Russell adds that he doesn’t care about the prizes; he just wants to win.

The speed of the wheel increases, and Ronnie complains about hearing people puking. He then drops at the 46-minute mark. Natalie continues to strugggle, and she then drops at the 49-minute mark. “I got to the point where I thought I was going to faint and pass out.” Jessie is really depressed now. “All of my eggs are now in the Chima basked.”

Ronnie then chooses his prize, which is nothing!!! (Yes!!!) Natalie’s prize is also nothing!!! (Double yes!)

The water returns, and Jeff talks about how he knows it will be a long night, but either himself or Jordan MUST win. Jordan’s having problems, though, and she tells us how her upper thighs are getting “numb” (just like your brains, my sweetie?). Jordan does fall at the 1 hour, 37-minute mark. “When I fell, I was pissed…I felt like I let (Jeff) down.” Jordan gets the last prize, and it’s the ability to pick the “have nots” for the week.

So we’re down to Michelle, Chima, Jeff, and Russell. Michelle says she feels as if she doesn’t have any friends in the house, so she has to win “for my safety”. Chima is flying all over the place, and was even upside down at one point, which impresses everybody. She says she’s holding on not only for herself, but also the fate of Jessie and Natalie.

Chima continues to get battered around, though, and finally at the 2:22 mark she’s down. Jessie says her falling made him feel “like I pulled my parachute and nothing came out. The end very well may be near.” Meanwhile, again Michelle says she’s going to hang on for everything she can to control her own fate, while both Russell and Jeff say they just can’t give up.

After commercials, we see the contraption at a standstill, and Jessie’s giving Russell advice to tell Jeff that if he wins he’ll put up Ronnie. He proceeds to ask that very question, but says if Michelle drops they’ll talk. Jessie says that he just wanted Russell to know that he’s on his side. “Whatever the deal is, just make sure that Jeff is the one that falls”, he says in the diary room.

So the wheel begins spinning again, and Michelle tells us the battering ram (diploma) is hitting harder. Yes, she then falls at the 2:41 mark, almost showing the world her brainiac lower body. Russell also complains about how hard the diploma is hitting them, and how the rope is tearing up their hands. Jordan gives Jeff some encouraging words to “play it out”, but the two of them talk about how they both want Ronnie out.

In the diary room, Russell talks about how he firsthand heard Ronnie talk about him…and we see a flashback on when Russell eavesdropped on a conversation between Ronnie, Lydia, and Kevin. “I know everything that comes out (Ronnie’s) mouth is a lie”, says Russell.

Russell and Jeff continue to negotiate, and Russell says that he has his word. Jeff says that all he’s really worried about is that himself and Jordan are both safe. Jeff is a bit hesitant, and Russell has everybody go inside while they continue to talk. “It’s strictly between you and me…all I want is a letter from Pop.”

Russell swears on his father, and Jeff finally decides to drop at the 3:38 mark. “I have a newfound respect for Jeff”, Russell says. “Anyone who can compete on my level I’ll tip my hat to.” Ronnie is the first to shake Jeff’s hand, which is quite comical in its own way, while Jessie slips the HOH key around Russell’s neck. Russell is happy that he can “finally do whatever the hell he wants.”

Immediately after the HOH comp is over, Jordan has to decide who will be a “have not”. She say she doesn’t want a target on her, so she put everybody’s names in a hat to draw. The first person drawn is Natalie, who says she’s not too upset because she has a slop pass. The second person drawn is Kevin, and then Jessie, who is obviously pissed. “Good job. You know there’s no way I’d lose a food competition.” He complains enough about it that Lydia calls him a big baby. It’s interesting that they don’t show Lydia offering to take it for him.)

Jessie and Natalie are now camping out on a couch, talking strategy. He tells her that the deal is that Ronnie’s supposed to go home, but that “he doesn’t control everybody’s votes”. Natalie asks if he even wants that to happen, but Jessie says he doesn’t know.

Jordan is now asking Jeff about their deal, and he informs her that she won’t be going up. Meanwhile, Russell enters the room just as Natalie is complaining about the prizes they won. Jessie promises in the diary room that they won’t be around much longer if “I have anything to say about it”. Russell is smiling as he talks in the diary room about how those two are pushing him to put up Lydia and Kevin. “I’ll listen to what they have to say. I’m not going to do whatever they want.”

Ronnie is now in the room with Jessie and Natalie, asking about the deal that was made between Jeff and Russell. He wants them to inform him if they find out part of the deal is to put him up, and Natalie quickly adds that they do indeed want him to stay. Ronnie says that he has hope that America will see that he’d use the “power in a wise fashion”. Yeah, sure they would think that. Vote Jeff!!! We then see a flashback to Julie’s announcement of the “mystery power”, and Ronnie says he’d “lovvvvvvvvvvve to wield the power like a JedI knight”. Ugh, make it stop!

And now we finally get the introduction of the HOH room segment. Yep, it’s like it always is - everybody gawks at the photos, and listen to Russell read his letter. They’re all touched. Russell says it was inspiring to him, and he hopes he’s making his father proud.

Now Jeff is up in the HOH with Russell, and they slap each other on the back about their comp performance. Russell says that he’s going to stand up to his word, and Jeff says the letter from home shows that Russell is a standup guy. Russell adds that he’d like to partner up with him, and they’d be unstoppable. Jeff says he was thinking the same thing, but they’d have to keep it quiet.

When we return from commercials, everybody is stuck inside and come in to see the mystery food that the “have nots” will be eating all week - squash and squid. Ronnie says he’s going to vomit from the smell, and nobody is happy with this “buffet”. Natalie makes sure everybody remembers that she has a slop pass. Jessie is still not happy being a “have not”.

Lydia now comes up to chat with Russell in the HOH, and she immediately asks if it is ok to jump in his bed. Typical Lydia! “I’m going to do whatever it takes so he shouldn’t have a reason to put me up for nominations this week”, she says in the diary room. She babbles about how he’s turned into a “nicer, sweeter, adorable person” since winning HOH. He doesn’t seem to buy it at all, but perks up a bit when she informs them that Jessie and Natalie had said they’d put up Russell if he could. “They say that you constantly lie to them.” (Funny they don’t see her offer to perform special favors for him.)

Now it’s Jessie’s turn to visit…and seconds later Natalie and Chima join in. He immediately tells them that Lydia sold them out. “That’s what that bitch said?” responds Chima. Jessie warns him to not let her drive a wedge between them, and Chima says it pisses her off how people lie once you begin HOH. “She’s such a bi-polar drama queen.”

Oh great, now it’s Ronnie’s turn to grovel. He tells Russell that he hopes that he’s not part of the deal with Jeff because when he was HOH they were “chirping in my ear” to put up Russell. “I really put myself out there…I never wavered from that for a second.” Oh, really? Ugh. Russell asked who Ronnie would put up, and he says Lydia and Kevin. They both agree that those just floating in the game don’t deserve to be there, but Ronnie flat out asks if he’s in any dangerous. “Oh no.” Ronnie still thinks he’s a good manipulator, so he thinks he has some hope.

It’s finally nomination time, and you again know the drill. Russell looks at the wall of pictures, and everybody comments on whether they should be put up as he inserts the keys. The crew is gathered, and the first key pulled belongs to Jeff, followed by Jessie, Jordan, Chima, Michelle, Natalie, and Kevin. Ronnie and Lydia are nominated! Russell tells Ronnie that he was put up because he “slapped me in the face when you went behind my back and talked with Lydia and Kevin in that room. I was actually the one that was behind that door listening, and I heard verbatim what you said. You’ve lied to every single person in this game, and you’re a snake. Well, if you’re going to catch a snake, you gotta be a mongoose.” Finally, a memorable nomination speech!!!

Jeff is happy with the nominations, but Lydia is not happy. “I’m going to fight like H-E-double hockey sticks. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make sure I stay in this house.” Russell adds that he hopes Ronnie doesn’t get this mystery power and “turn us all into frogs…I can only hope that he goes home”. Ronnie babbles nonsense about how he’s the “king snake”, and many times the king snake “kills the mongoose”. Um, yeah.

And that concludes tonight’s recap. See you Tuesday!

Big Brother - Season 11, Episode 10 Recap

Welcome to a night that CBS has promised will include a “game changing” announcement. Most people are assuming this means that we’ll see the dissolution of the cliques, but for once I’m really hoping the producers truly make an unprecedented move that we’ll all be talking about for day. Yeah, I know - wishful thinking.

Of course, we’re also going to see a live eviction, and a HOH competition that everybody predicts will involve endurance. The HG’s have been on lockdown since early last night, and it’s usually been at this point in the season where they do have such a competition. Again, I’d like to see a little innovation.

Julie opens the show by announcing tonight is “graduation”, and the cliques are over. They’ve all sort of figured that out anyway, so it won’t be as big of a shock to them as CBS hopes. Wait, the power lies in our hands? Uh oh, this should be interesting.

Here we go with the footage from the rest of this week, and we start with the reaction to the nomination of Casey to replace Michelle. Both Casey and Jeff are pissed that Ronnie wasn’t nominated, and babble what you would expect about “Teflon Ron“ Ronnie is getting a bit too excited as he brags about how he survived another week.. Jessie says he put Casey on the block because he’s a bigger threat and is coming after him. Um, ok Oh, I must say I still love that footage of Jordan complaining about Ronnie staring at her.

After the ceremony, Casey heads outside and Jordan apologizes. “It’s all good, man - season of the dork”. Jordan then complains about the smiling looks she was getting from Ronnie. “I just wanted so bad to tell him off”, she says in the diary room. “The only reason you are still here is because you are Jessie’s bitch”. God, I love this girl.

Casey adds that Ronnie got him by using the “Ronnie jedi mind trick”. “They got rid of Laura because she wasn’t a sheep. Same for me…people have short memories in here.” Jeff then comes out, and says “they’re all off in a corner somewhere” when Casey asks if they’re celebrating. They then bitch about the “zinger”, which really wasn’t nothing more than a silly one-liner - “move your feet, you gotta new seat”. Really, it was Jessie attempting to be clever…and I mean attempting. Jeff goes on, though, about hiding behind your sunglasses.

Time for something to disgust everybody. We see Lydia wandering up to the HOH in the middle of the night, and crawling into bed with him. “I like to watch Jessie sleep”, she says in the diary room. “Sometimes he moves, and he smiles…or his face has different expressions on them. Maybe Jessie’s dreaming about baby unicorns (yeah, right). Maybe he’s dreaming about, I don’t know, riding his motorcycle. But it would be nice if he was thinking about me.” Please gag me now. “Because he’s asleep, I could snoop. I could play practical jokes on him.” (Or you could use your mouth or hands on him, as you have done countless times.) “I really hope Jessie never makes me mad, because I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. Maybe while he‘s sleeping I could get revenge.” A nice edit then shows her leaving without having any inter…uh, action with him.

Thankfully, we move back on to gameplay. Jordan is looking fine as usual while sunbathing, and she says in the diary room that she’s not going to do any campaigning because Casey’s honesty will “get himself in a little bit of trouble…I’m the greatest pawn ever.”

Yet Casey does attempt to gain some momentum. Kevin is outside with him, and he talks about how it must suck to do whatever Jessie wants him to do. Kevin doesn’t really respond, “I’m just amazed that there’s no outrage over Jessie having some sort of deal.” Kevin perks up a bit, and asks if he has the votes, adding that Chima is his “weakest link in the chain”. Casey doesn’t agree. “Lydia is in love with Jessie. He could be laying in bed with another bitch, and she’ll make him breakfast”. Kevin claims that she would indeed vote for him ‘if you have the numbers”. Casey adds that if he stayed, he could go after them without Kevin getting any of the heat. We all know that Kevin loves anybody but himself to do the dirty work.

Casey now begins working on Russell, who asks if he’s talked to “your boy” since being put up. Casey informs him that he’s number four on that team. “I’m number two.” Casey puts up a convincing argument that Jessie would never put up Natalie before him, and probably also Ronnie. “You don’t need those dudes. I think you, me and Jeff could do some damage.” Russell says that Casey is giving him some good points, and that “it’s a huge gamble that could pay off”. Yeah, sure.

Wow, that’s all of the previous day’s footage we’ll see tonight? Interesting. We come back from commercials to Julie talking about Jeff and Jordan’s “relationship”. What about Lydia and Jessie? Or Natalie and Jessie?

You know what’s seen here - lots of footage of Jordan and Jeff looking adorable. We then head to Jordan’s hick town to watch her family view “footage” of her on the show. There’s no real need to go through what’s said here, but Jordan’s mom does seem to like Jeff.

Then we move on to Jeff’s hometown, and they all laugh at the “technotronics” line. Dad says he’s acting just like he does at home, and his mom laughs at how he’s never been good at spelling. After some more adorable footage, both families say they like the two of them together. Both mothers are a bit over the top, hoping that they do “make babies”.

After this package is over, we move on to Julie’s interview with the house. Of course, she immediately goes to the “200 pound banana in the room”. Casey jokes that the banana suit “makes it easy to choose what to wear, and it shows off my tan”. She moves on to Ronnie, and how last week it looked like the house was against him. She wants to know if he’s surprised he wasn’t nominated, and he babbles the standard line about “actions showing people‘s true colors”. Julie presses for some names, and he just goes on about how “they know who they are”. God, please make it stop.

Julie moves on to Lydia, and her tensions with Natalie. As the camera moves to a bug-eyed Jessie, she asks if their fight was really over beds. Lydia plays dumb, which she’s great at doing. “It was about beds. It wasn’t about anything else.” Oh please. Julie doesn’t buy it, and moves to Natalie. “There was more brewing”, she adds, but refuses to bite when Julie keeps going. “I plead the fifth”, Lydia finally says. We end the segment with footage of Michelle falling into the mud pit…with little comment but a thank you from Michelle.

Oh great, here’s Jessie in the HOH room. Her first question is about Lydia and Natalie, and Jessie claims that they’re relationships are all “platonic”. Oh God. He then denies they’re fighting over him. She keeps going, asking if these relationships are real. Jesus, Julie, stop it. And one more question - are they playing him? Julie, please. Some of us have yet to eat tonight. He does admit it’s a possibility. “Everybody’s in here for a reason - to win a half million dollars”.

It just won’t stop. Julie’s final question is which of these women he’d like to be stranded on a desert island. “I’m going to have to plead the fifth.” My god, even Julie says his answer is lame, but again carries on.

Thankfully, this segment is finally over, and it’s time for the final statements. Jordan goes first, and is just adorable as she says she doesn’t have anything to say except she hates going against one of her best friends in the house.

Casey then stands up and apologizes to letting people down. “The reason I’m in this position is because two house guests stabbed me in the back - Ronnie, the manipulative dorkapotamus with the God complex, (and) Jessie, the self-absorbed smedium-wearing egomaniac with the personality and IQ, oddly enough, of a banana. Both of these guys stabbed me in the back, and they’ll do the same to the rest of y’all. It’s funny that you (Ronnie) talk about actions..after what you did to me.” Go Casey!!!

So the voting begins, and it’s as expected. Jeff goes in first and votes to evict Casey, as does Ronnie (ugh) and Natalie. After commercials, we see Chima vote to evict Casey, but Russell votes to evict Jordan!!! Michelle, though, votes to evict Casey, as does a mustachioed Lydia (ugh) and Kevin.

When the house receives the news, Casey tells everybody to “knock them dead” as he hugs everybody. “Your word is mud”, he says as he walks out, and Natalie gives him some lip back. This goes back and forth a bit, and he asks her if she’s “his pitbull. Go make him a sandwich.” Oh man, I love this!!!

After he walks out, Lydia hugs Natalie as she babbles more about Casey not living up to his word. She’s also pissed about the stray vote. Um, Natalie, you did the same last week. There’s lots of bleeping going on during these couple of minutes.

Julie starts the interview by saying he went out “guns blazing”. “I had to”, he responds. “You can only take so much. People are on you, and it’s hard to take some of that stuff for weeks at a time.” Julie points out that Jessie was turning red, and he says that he should. “He doesn’t impress me in very many ways. He didn’t win the first HOH, and the one he won I think was luck.”

Julie then asks about his gameplay, and how he got played by Ronnie in the first week and that this week everybody would be “down with the plan”. He admits he made a mistake in “being too trusting”. When Julie points out signs that Ronnie was becoming pals with everybody again, Casey says his big mistake was in trusting Jessie.

We end, as usual, with the goodbye messages. Russell claims that he tried to come up with the votes, while Ronnie is gloating (as usual). Ugh. Jordan tells him how awesome he is, and then Natalie babbles how she really is 24, not 18, and with a college degree…and that’s why he’s sitting out there while she’s still in the house. Um, no. This goes on like it normally does, and gets less interesting as the segment drags on. Julie thanks him for his honesty, and after informing Casey that the cliques are done we’re done with Casey. “And that’s not all.”

Julie informs the house guests that they need to gather in the living room, and Natalie babbles “no more cliques”. See, I told you it was no surprise. Julie goes through with the dramatic speech anyway, and continues on about how one of them will soon be granted a “mystery power” which can be used in the next two weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this could change the course of the game, and only the person who has it will know they have it. Please don’t let it be Ronnie!

She can’t tell the house guests who will have that power, as it will be a vote by America. Winning HOH and veto is supposedly more important this week than ever, as it’s the only way to guarantee safety. She then tells a stunned group to head outside.

Julie then explains to us that the mystery power is the “coup d-etat”, and the winner of that power will have the ability over the next two live evictions to overthrow the HOH by replacing one or both of the nominees. This could be interesting!!! I may even vote…for silly little Jordan!!!

And here we go with the new HOH, and sure enough it’s an endurance competition. It’s the hanging on a swing comp that we’ve seen in previous seasons. There are also six envelopes to entice people to drop out early; with one containing $5000.

A giant diploma is entered, though, that they crash into as they’re swinging around. Yeah, this won’t take long.

We get one final look at the house, and Chima says she’s dizzy. Sure enough, they introduce “rain”, which I’m sure pisses off Natalie since she didn’t get to use her trash bag costume. And that concludes this week’s live eviction episode!!!