I have absolutely nothing for an intro tonight. No obscure song lyrics, no analogies to other famous or not-so-famous people. It's been a long week with a pre-determined outcome, so let's just get it over with. Plus, we have to endure the inclusion of a person who has worn out his welcome to the vast majority of Big Brother viewers...or at least those that don't own cats, have dog avatars, or munch on bon bons all night.
So let's get right to it. Actually, I'm just going to guess what we see at the beginning as I cap the picture of Julie that you see on the top of this post. The non-use of the veto will be replayed, and Dan will be thankful he's not being backdoored, and both Wil and Joe will have quips about how it's not over yet. Add to that an explanation from Frank and Boogie, and possibly some "Quack Pack" gibberish from Ian and we can move on to the footage edited to make it appear as if anything is possible tonight.
Ash and Wil are now at the kitchen counter, with Wil complaining that it doesn't look goof for him. Ashley attempts to give him some hope by saying "things change all the time".
Meanwhile, Britney is telling Shane and Danielle that she was nervous about the veto ceremony, and how they need to win HOH the next week. Britney is pissed that there was even a possibility that Frank may go against the alliance. Dan wanders in, and Britney says that he was really close to being put up.
Ash is now shown wandering outside to talk to Joe, and they both complain about how "nobody is willing to rock the boat". Joe asks about her vote, and she claims she doesn't know. Joe screams in the diary room that her "maybe" is a no, and that he needs to work for the votes.
Dan is now in the HOH listening to Frank's CD, and Frank decides to scare him. They have a talk about trust, and Dan says he appreciates that he wasn't put up. Frank admits that it did cross his mind, but he didn't because of their alliance. Dan, though, says that even "entertaining the thought" indicates that he can't be trusted.
Frank is then asked who he wants to see leave, and he says Wil is the "best bet. With Wil gone, Ashley will be by herself. Her and Joe won't mesh well and work well together." Plus, Joe will be easy to get rid of at anytime.
Filler time, as Ashley asks Frank on an ice cream date. She says in the diary room that while she does want to go on this date, she also wants to use it to get info. Ian, who is sitting nearby, is not happy with this, and claims that he was going to make dinner for her at some point. "No you weren't", replies Dan.
This phony date for the Showtime cameras are now shown, and she does bring up Wil. Unfortunately, she doesn't do much to help him out as she complains about how she is so lonely. Frank's idea is that they conclude the date by making out.
Meanwhile, Britney tells Ian that he has been dumped. They cut right back to Frank, who pulls Ashley to the couch to indeed make out. Gross. Quick cut back to Britney asking Ian if he thinks they'll make out. "I kind of thought we were exclusive."
Cut back to the lovebirds, with Frank asking about Ian. Ashley claims he was faking his jealousy earlier, but Frank knows better. OK, enough on this.
Finally, it's over and Wil is now sort of asking Britney, Danielle, and Shane about their votes. Kind of is the key word, as he says that he really doesn't want to bother them. He quickly gives up and walks back inside, which gives Britney another opportunity to whine. Joe then comes out and is a bit more forceful (but no better) with his pleas. Ian has joined them, and Shane has to remind us that the "Quack Pack" is in charge of the votes.
Oh God, CBS is having a twitter contest for tonight's HOH comp. People can vote to have one of two temptation - ten grand or a Havenot pass. Oh please. Who wouldn't take the cash?
Well, they have time for more filler, as we meet Joe's family. Wow, even his wife makes fun of his loud voice! This is the customary family segment, slicing talks the HG has about said family with interview segments...along with fake, staged footage of them watching on TV. Oh yeah, and the entire family HATES Boogie.
Ugh, speaking of wasted time. It's Jeff time. I've heard his awful online show, and trust me he has NOTHING to add here. Time to fast forward.
Time to talk to Julie, who announces they are past the halfway part of the show. For some reason, she reads off a "current event pop quiz". Time to grab more pics.
Silliness completed, Wil gets up for his final plea. He makes a joke about how they're all "snoops" and "liars", but then says it is a win-win situation for him either way. He can stay with great people in the house, or be reunited with his wonderful family. He pleads them all to vote for their own game, and that he loves and adores them all.
Joe then gets up and says that Wil's campaign is that he's "loud". He babbles that he is taking lessons on "human whispering", and that he's also heard that Wil has said he has a "Sharon Osbourne game going on in here". What does that even mean? He carries on and on until Julie tells him to shut it down. He finally concludes by saying that if they keep him there he'll keep them fed. WTF?
The voting begins with Ashley, who votes to evict Joe. Boogie is next, and he votes to evict Wil...and we go to commercials. When we return, Danielle votes against Wil, but Jenn votes to evict "Chef Joe". Dan is up next, and after his customary bullshit to Julie votes to evict Wil...as does Britney, Shane, and Ian. Wil is evicted by a 8-2 vote.
Julie reads the results, and Wil flamboyantly whips off his jacket before hugging everybody. Putting on a captain's hat, he heads out. "I ain't nobody's mama," he proclaims (or at least I think that's what he said) as he struts out the door.
Julie starts the questioning about asking why Joe survived, and he says that he's a bigger threat than the loudmouth chef. She then asks about the meeting where he was aloof towards Frank, and Wil explains that he didn't want to be asskisser or throw people under the bus.
Unfortunately, the questioning is ALREADY over (I guess they needed the time for stupid Jeff), so we go right to the goodbye speeches. We start with Joe, who complains about him going against Janelle and his team. Dan says he wanted to work with Wil because he thought that Wil would go after Frank and Boogie, but his emotions got in the way. Ashley says that she's going to miss him, and that he should have kissed some butt. Oh Lord, we end with Boogie, who said he wished he could have coached him. By being the "funny guy", he could have coasted to the final five. Julie ends the segment by telling Wil about the "Silent Six".
Goodbye Wil, you will be missed (by our Ash, at least). It's HOH time, and it's another repeat. This time, it's the Slip-n-slide comp that Jeff won last year. You know, the one where there are soap suds and they have to haul little cups of a liquid to fill a jug. Yeah, that one.
Before the competition begins, though, Julie reads the results of the twitter poll. Oh, so there is more to it than we were told. There are two smaller jugs. One is for "safety", which guarantees they cannot be nominated this week. The other is the result of the poll, and "America" voted for the ten grand. But once the HOH has been crowned, any unclaimed prize will be unavailable.
So the game commences, and Danielle is the first to fall over. Instead of soap suds this year, though, it is an ice rink. Ashley slowly waddles across, while Ian decides to slide. Oh wait, silly Ashley also decides to slide...but for some reason we end the segment with a terrible view of Danielle's ample ass.
So that's it for tonight, but not before we hear that next week is a double eviction. Oh, and also Boogie is the only person going for the money, while the rest are split 50/50 on safety or HOH. Hop onto the live feeds to see who wins this competition, and also let us know what you thought of tonight's show. Were you sad to see Wil leave? How about that Jeff segment? Or Joe's family?