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Thursday
Aug092012

Big Brother #14, Episode 13 Recap

Willie May stumbling in the outfield during the 1973 World Series. Brett Favre hobbling off the Metrodome turf after his millionth interception. The surviving Beatles adding computer-enhanced vocals to John Lennon demos. Johnny Unitas being sandwiched by defensive linemen on play after play in a San Diego Chargers uniform. The entire roster of actors that co-star on TV Land “original” shows.

These are just some of the embarrassing codas to otherwise legendary careers, and tonight we say goodbye to another type of superstar. Sure, calling a reality television star a “legend” is kind of silly, but Janelle Pierzina is one of a handful who could make that claim. A blonde, athletic beauty, Janelle’s two earlier appearances were full of must-see TV moments. Ultimately, she lost both times, but her competition prowess and sexy swagger made her the only Big Brother cast member to win two “Favorite House Guest” awards.

She will be leaving us tonight primarily for having lost that touch that endeared her to both viewers and fellow players in her previous season. Her fibs betrayed any appearance of honesty. Emotionally, she was a stiff who spent more time sleeping than she did interacting with others. Most importantly, she failed to sniff the changing crosswinds in the house, and was ultimately outplayed by her most hated rival, Mike “Boogie” Malin. Like everybody listed in that above paragraph, the instincts and reflexes were just not there this season.

Before we get to that moment where thousands of hardcore fans smash their televisions and leap off their balcony, we have lots of silliness to plow through. Yes, it is reaction time. How did Janelle and the rest of the house feel about the shocking move to replace Wil’s nomination with Janelle?

Like always, it depends on who is doing the talking. Janelle is shocked, especially since “she is not even on my radar, and now she definitely is”. She’s going to do what she needs to do to say. Britney notes that unlike usual veto meetings, everybody is kind of frozen in “shock and horror…but the truth of the matter is, nobody is truly shocked except for Janelle”.

Wil screams in celebration while in the diary room, and promises to bake a cherry pie in celebration. Britney, though, rushes into the bedroom where Janelle is reading the Bible (lol) to pretend like she has no clue this was going to happen. At the same time, Boogie asks the camera if he can take a bow. “Danielle thinks she’s the head of household this week, but basically I just took over her HOH and got everybody to do what I wanted.”

Danielle is now in the HOH, and Janelle rushes in to ask why she was put up. Danielle claims that “everybody” has been telling her that Janelle is after her, and is lying to her. “I’ve never said to anybody in this house that I’m coming after her.” Janelle knows that people have been feeding lies to her, as “she could never come up with this on her own”. She immediately blames Dan, but Danielle claims she hasn’t talked to him all day, and that she’ll probably survive the week anyway.

Dan now joins Danielle in the HOH, and yells in the diary room that she has graduated from the Dan School of Big Brother. Oh please. She recounts the conversation with Janelle. Well, she sort of tells him, exaggerating just a little bit.

Dan now pulls Janelle into the storage room, and claims that he has no idea what caused her nomination. It’s just a girl thing, he says, and he probably won’t be able to vote to save her because it would piss her off. Janelle thinks that she only needs two more votes, and Dan says any coach is screwed if they’re put up.

Boogie interrupts the conversation by coming in for some milk, and takes his time before leaving. Janelle repeats her complaint that she didn’t even put on makeup because she had no clue this was coming in, and after leaving the storage room she says she’s confident she can get the votes.

She heads into the lounge with Wil and Joe, who both claim that they’ll be voting for her. She also tells Jenn that she wouldn’t target her if she stays, and also whines to Ashley that she hopes she wouldn’t vote her out.

Now that she believes she has the votes, she pulls Britney into the lounge to verify that she has her vote. She runs down all the votes she has, and Britney replies that she believes there may be some things happening that she’s not aware of. Janelle adds that the coaches “need to stick together, or we’ll have no shot”. Britney says in the diary room that not only is Janelle making her feel bad, but she’s “making some really good sense. She’s not coming after me. She’s not coming after the coaches. Why am I voting out someone who is an ally and an asset to me in this game?”

Britney races to the HOH, and cries that she can’t “keep up this charade any longer. I feel like a bad, bad person.” Dan, Shane, and Danielle don’t seem to really care for what she has to say, even when she asks why they’re voting her out. “When she doesn’t need you, she avoids you and treats you like crap”, replies Danielle in between bites of Cheez-its.

After commercials, it is time for the dreaded house interview. As predicted on last week’s Big Brother Gossip Show, the first question goes to Frank’s “spiritard”. He’s even made to give a cheer. Gag me now. Boogie is then asked about how he wasn’t happy with the game reset, but he says he’s feeling better about it now. “I did a little work this week, and I think I’m feeling better about it.”

Wait, a question to Jenn??? Wow, shocker! She’s asked about competing with the coaches, and she says she’s “just living on a prayer”. She also claims that she believes her chances are better now that she’s on her own. Oh, I’m sure that will be discussed later tonight.

Ugh, and as also predicted on the Big Brother Gossip Show, we have to sit through a montage of Ian as a dog. He says he’s been loving every minute of his time in the house, and “it wouldn’t be the full Big Brother experience without a penalty costume”.

OMG, more filler – the fake romance between Ian and Ashley…complete with their parents. Gross, and CBS should be ashamed for this selective editing. Wait, his mom thinks the house is “scared” of him??? Bwahahahahah!

As they say on BBUK, it’s “crunch time”. Frank gets to make the first plea, and he claims that he’s played the game “like a gentleman”. Mama told him to “keep it classy”, and he says he’s done just that. Ooof, even Julie says that he sounds like Ron Burgendy.

Janelle is up next, and she says she loves “all of you”, and would be willing to help anybody with their game if they keep her. Otherwise, no hard feelings if she does leave tonght.

The live voting then commences with Boogie, who obviously votes to evict Janelle, as does Jenn. Joe, though, votes to evict Frank, but Wil, Ashley, Britney, Shane, kiss-ass Dan, and Ian all vote to evict Janelle. She’s out by a 8-1 vote!

Julie makes her announcement, and Janelle calmly hugs all (saying “it’s just a game”) before heading out the door to a huge cheer! Mickey Mantle has left the building! Julie notes that she kept it classy, and Julie notes that she isn’t nearly as surprises as she was when nominated. She says she’s out because she’s a strong player, which is a compliment. While she is being cool and calm, what is with the little girl voice that she’s using? Julie also asks why she hit the reset when she still had three players in the game, and it’s just because she wanted to play.

Frank is the next topic, and she says that she was “scared of him” because he was such a strong player. It may have hurt her a little in the game, but he was also the focus of others. Janelle is then asked about the fateful coach’s meeting n the HOH, and she says she “didn’t want to throw Wil or Joe under the bus”. This leads into her rivalry with Boogie, but while he got her this time the “target is too big on him to win the game this time. I’m rooting for Dan. I love Dan.”

The goodbye messages then roll, and Dan explains how her unwilling to sacrifice her teammates is what cost her. Britney whines about how she feels bad about being a part of the plan, and Joe does his customary nonsensical screaming. He promises to avenge her eviction. Boogie brags that she shouldn’t blame the others – “this one was all me. So for the third time, always the bridesmaid but never the Big Brother bride.” Janelle’s response? “He’s such a loser. What a douchebag. Screw you, Mike Boogie.”

Ok, it’s now HOH competition time, and it’s a “knockout” type question game called “Big Brother Battle of the Bands”. Hmmm, this would be a perfect title for a game that Jenn wins. A song is played, and then the players choose whether the song describes a HOH, Coach, or Veto competition. A right answer means you remain for the next round; the wrong answer means the other player remains.

The game starts with Wil versus Jenn, and they’re both confused before Wil correctly answers that it was a HOH song. He chooses Boogie versus Joe in the next round, and Boogie correctly chooses a veto song. He then picks Wil versus Ashley, who almost flashes us. Ashley is first this time, and she is right on with her HOH guess.

Ashley is completely confused about what she has to do next, and finally picks Britney and Shane for the next round. Britney is the first to ring in, and she is also right on with her coach choice. Ash and Ian are now up, and Ian correctly picks Coach. He then picks Dan and Britney, and this time Britney is right with HOH. Frank and Boogie then face each other, and Boogie immediately hits veto before the song even starts. He’s obviously wrong, and Ian and Britney now have to face each other.

They both leap at the button at the same time, but Britney is just a split second early with the correct veto pick. It’s now Frank versus Britney for the HOH victory, and Frank picks veto. Yes, he is right…and Frank is the new HOH!!!

There is one final segment in the show, with Julie talking to Frank. It’s a pretty worthless couple of minutes, and that’s it for this episode. What did you think of tonight’s show? Are you sad to see Janelle hit the road? Give us your thoughts!

Wednesday
Aug082012

Big Brother #14, Episode 12 Recap

“How does it feel

To treat me like you do

When you’ve laid your hands upon me And told me who you are

I thought I was mistaken

I thought I heard your words

Tell me how do I feel

Tell me now how do I feel” – New Order, “Blue Monday”

From an album, Power Corruption and Lies, that could also be the title of tonight’s episode, “Blue Monday” was the breakout track for a band that before that moment lived in the shadows of their former incarnation, Joy Division. Ignored by music critics, this track made them international superstars.

While not nearly as talented as any member of this band, tonight’s episode is Danielle’s “Blue Monday”. Ignored by most of the house, and laughed at by the live feed viewers, the nurse/teacher/would-be Miss Alabama’s reign as HOH was seen by EVERYBODY as nothing more than an opportunity for others to do their dirty work under her name.

Yet tonight’s episode sees the girl with a thousand diseases take control of the house and use it to make the biggest move of the season so far. Sure, her reasoning was more catty than strategic, but tonight’s show does end with her accomplishing something that arguably nobody else would have dared attempted. The question remains, though, will this ultimately be a good move?

Before we get to the shocking conclusion, we have lots of filler to sit through, starting off with the reactions to Danielle’s nominations of Frank and Wil. For once, there is a funny comment in these diary room statements. “All good southern girls go to heaven”, says Wil, “but nasty southern belles go to hell.”

Danielle explains that Wil is just a pawn, because she wants Frank out the door. Frank, though, says he’s been “dodging bullets” all season, and just wants to save himself in the veto. “Then I’m going after Dan and Danielle.” Dan, though, just wants to keep the nominations the same.

Wil heads up into the diary room, where he hugs a crying Danielle. He says it is ok, but he is still worried as most pawns end up going home. He even tries to tell her it is a relief, as “I’m not really cut out for this game”. Danielle reassures him that everybody indeed loves him.

Frank and Boogie are now in their usual spot in the house, in the nomination chairs laughing at their misfortune. “I think it’s the hair, dog”, says Boogie. Beneath their jokes, Frank says he’s frustrated. They both complain about how they’re so over Danielle, Dan, and Janelle. Hell, they’re over everybody, actually. Adding to their paranoia, Boogie thinks there is a chance he’s being set up to be backdoored.

Now Janelle heads up to the HOH to supposedly use the bathroom, but instead whines to Dan about Boogie. We talked about this on last Saturday’s Big Brother Gossip Show, so there isn’t much need to go through this conversation…just like the next scene of Dan confronting Boogie about his attitude towards the other coaches.

After commercials, Ian comes into the HOH to talk to Danielle and Britney because he’s “feeling really alone...I’d like to be in one of the (groups)”. Britney asks if he would be willing to vote out Boogie at some point, and he says that he would do just that. Britney adds that he would have to be 100% committed to any group he adds, and she does admit in the diary room that she’s not completely sold.

Dan now joins the conversation, and says that he really likes Ian. “Are you truly reset and away from Team Boogie?” Ian admits that he does like Frank a lot. Truthfully, the conversation ends with little settled.

Time to pick veto players – Danielle pulls out Shane’s name, Frank gets Jenn, and Wil gets Ian. Boogie is not happy, as he is “basically alone”. Yes, Boogie’s other two players are in this event, but neither Ian or Jenn “have shown much competition prowess”. The host for the competition will be Dan.

Frank runs into Janelle in the bathroom, and asks her if she still believes he wants all the coaches out. A disinterested Janelle says she has no idea what he wants as they have never talked, but does follow up with that very question. She says that she “definitely wants to work with a strong player, as I have no one”. Silly Britney wanders downstairs and is shocked to see Janelle actually talking with the very person she wants out, and scampers back upstairs to tattle.

Oh how the tide has turned, as Danielle gets to jump back on the anti-Janelle bandwagon. “She infuriates me.” Dan is upset because he wants to unite all the coaches, and is pissed that Britney is making such a big deal about “one talk”.

It’s now veto competition time, and the backyard is in a baseball theme. Danielle’s panties are immediately wet because she thinks Shane looks “so cute” in a baseball uniform. “I hope I can focus on my game.” Please gag me with the fake relationship shit.

To play this game, a ball rolled down a ramp into a diamond-shaped structure. At the end of each round, the lowest score is out. They then get to go claim their prize, but future “losers” get to take whatever they have “won”. Yes, it is a variation of a comp that happens every single year.

Ian has decided that he is going to throw this comp, as he has no clue yet who he is working with. He then rolls a three, but Shane only gets a two. Jenn, who says she actually wants to win this game, rolls a nine, and Danielle gets a four. Wil ends the round with a six, which means that Shane is out in the first round. His prize is the veto, but at least he is smart enough to realize he won’t be holding onto it long.

In the second round, Ian scores a perfect twenty. Jenn gets a six, as does Danielle. Will nabs a five, while Frank hits a nine. Wil is now out, and his prize is a “veto ticket”, which guarantees that he plays next week. After a handful of Cracker Jacks, he does trade for the veto.

For the third round, Jenn gets a two, Danielle nabs a ten, and Frank’s score is a four. Ian’s roll if a five, which makes Jenn this round’s loser. Her prize is a Maui vacation, and she elects to keep it. Britney isn’t impressed.

Round four kicks off with a nine for Danielle and Frank, while Ian only gets a four. He’s now out, and his prize is a “dog’s life”, where he has to wear a dog costume and do nothing but stupid dog tricks. He’s already smiling, and does elect to keep the prize…which infuriates Boogie.

In the final round, Frank rolls an eight…but Danielle beats him by rolling a ten! Frank’s prize is five grand, but he trades for the veto. Danielle’s prize is a “spiritard”, but obviously she trades it for the veto. Yes, Frank has to wear this year’s version of the “unitard”. Frank is bummed, but Boogie claims he still has some tricks up his sleeve.

After the comp, Boogie and Dan head into the lounge to chat. “I just got beat by a sorority girl in a POV”, complains Frank. They talk about how no matter what they do, they have to get Dan on board for any plan. “I wish I could talk him into putting up Janelle”, says Boogie. “I want Janelle out of here.” They know this will take work, but they’re going to do their best.

First, though, we have to endure the filler for this episode – the “spiritard” and the dog costume. Yes, Ian, you are the Big Brother house pet. Actually, you have been all season. Yes, hilarity ensures.

Ok, back to the game, as Jenn and Dogboy head into the HOH. Oh wait, Jenn just brings the puppy up to the room, and then leaves so he can “solidify my alliance” with Dan, Shane, Britney, and Danielle. Dan screams that he loves the idea, but we have to sit through the idiocy of picking an alliance name. Their decision? The Quck Pack. Shoot me now.

Hilarity finished, Boogie now comes in the HOH to talk to Danielle. He wants to take out a really, really, really dangerous player out, and Danielle’s eyes light up when she finally figures out that he’s talking about Danielle. This way, next week when she can’t play she has “five warriors”. Danielle says she worries that Boogie will turn against her, but Boogie claims it would never happen.

Boogie then has the same conversation with Dan, and he knows that this will take more work. Funny thing is Janelle walks into the HOH just as they start the conversation. Boogie launches into how she will never “be workable”, and that he feels like he is “selling water in the Mojave desert”. Janele returns, but this time she is with Britney. Boogie tries to give the girls the boot, but they won’t budge. Janelle, though, is now rah rah Boogie, who outright says he doesn’t trust her. He isn’t willing to send Frank home to work with people that “have done nothing for me”.

Dan tries to mediate, but Boogie says he can’t trust Joe. So why not put up Joe in place of Frank? Janelle doesn’t respond, which Dan screams in the diary room it indicates she is lying. After this stalemate, the girls leave and even Dan admits that the coach alliance is never going to work. “It’s about time the two winners of the game got back on the same side.” Frank joins them in the HOH, and they celebrate their new partnership.

After the last commercial break, Danielle comes into the HOH and Dan tells her the story of what happened. Britney and Shane also join in…and eventually even Ian comes in. They go around the room to see what they think, and Ian says that while Boogie wouldn’t nominate any of them Janelle would have no problems with anybody in that room. “I think that it is much safer to get Janelle out of here because she’s much more likely to win HOH.” Wow, Ian. That is your biggest statement of the season. Danielle and Dan vote the same, while Britney and Shane are undecided.

Frank and Boogie now join the crew, and Britney says that she is worried what will happen if either Jenn or Wil win HOH. Once again, a name is more important than anything else, and they settle on “The Silent Six”. Gross.

But here comes Janelle! She knocks on the door, but nobody responds. Classy.

Finally, it is veto ceremony time…thankfully cut short so we could get that last scene in. Danielle calls everybody in, and we don’t even get the pleas from the nominees. “I have decided to use the power of veto to save Wil. This is nothing personal. It’s completely strategic.” Her replacement nominee is Janelle!

Britney pretends to be shocked as Danielle shuts the wooden veto box. Makeup-free, she gloats in the diary room, while Janelle complains that she felt so safe she didn’t even bother to put on makeup before the ceremony. “I would have put on a cute outfit, and actually washed my face and hair. I have no idea what happened, but I’m not going to go down without a fight.”

The show ends with Boogie and Frank doing their idiotic Chilltown II crap. Dammit, Boogie, just when I like you again.

So…what did you think of the show? How about those new alliances? Will Janelle leave the house tomorrow? Let us know your thoughts!

Sunday
Aug052012

No Recap Tonight

Sorry, folks, but I'm not going to do a recap tonight. This will be pretty straightforward episode, and everything that happened has already been covered her (plus on last night's BBGossip show). 

If you still want to know what happened, here's my prediction on tonight's show structure:

8:00 - 8:03 pm EST. Announcer tells the entire story of the season, just in case you forgot.

8:03 - 8:10 pm EST. We see everybody on the endurance contraption, but it quickly shifts to the moment Julie announced that "America" (cough cough) had voted to allow them to enter the game. There will be flashbacks of them hitting (or not, in Boogie's case) the red button, accompanied by diary room cheers and jeers.

8:10 - 8:30 pm EST. The actual endurance comp. Again, pretty straightforward, with the exception of typical diary room comments (Joe and Dan screaming, Frank and Shane angry at themselves for dropping). Boogie discovering the plot to evict Frank will also be included, using footage involving conversations with Dan, Joe, and finally Boogie spilling it all to Frank. The culmination will be the negoitations between Ian, Britney, and Danielle, and finally, the "From Here To Eternity" kiss between Danielle and Shane (with Dan's suggestion that Shane do this edited out).

8:30 - 8:50 pm EST. Danielle's HOH room reveal (gag me) and her desire to nominate Janelle start the segment, before moving on to show the coaches working on Danielle. Interspersed in this footage will also be Boogie's growing anger over the Frank situation. The final commercial break will occur after we see Dan "coaching" Danielle on who should be nominated.

8:50 - 9:00 pm EST. Danielle reads the HOH nom script (not very well), with the proper dialogue from anybody who the editors have deemed the viewers may believe will be nominated. The show will then end with the nominations of Wil and Frank, with proper angry reactions from the nominees and Boogie, along with smug smiles from Danielle.

While tonight's episode is destined to be a snoozer, the real actions could be on Wednesday's show. As stated by Ash's report last night, there really is a movement to put up Janelle. Danielle is seemingly working with Shane AND Frank right now. Obviously, this plot is one conversation away from not happening, but it could enliven Wednesdya's episode! Turn those feeds on and view for yourself!

Thursday
Aug022012

Big Brother #14, Episode 10 Recap

Hu-bris /’(h)yoobris/

Noun: 1. Excessive pride or self-confidence

Example: See Mike Boogie or Frank Eudy.

I’d say every person has a moment in their life where ego gets the best of them. Job security, financial projections, relationships, etc. We’ve all been hit by a situation that should have been seen from a thousand miles away.

Unless something strange happened in the couple of hours before tonight’s live eviction, we will see the definition of hubris in action tonight. Frank and Boogie have completely ignored or failed to notice HUGE indications that things were not going as well as they believed. Even being put up as a replacement nominee when no change was necessary didn’t cause a raised eybrow.

Instead, they spent the entire week lying around the house. Boogie took long, long naps and made idle chitchat in the backyard. Frank floated around the house, occasionally winking at a person or two to see if they were still on board to keep him around. At no time did either of these cocksure brainiacs have a serious conversation about Frank’s future in the house.

That will be Frank’s downfall, but it appears that’s not the only big news for the night. It appears that this will be the episode where the worst dreams of Big Brother purists come true. All indications from CBS point to this as an inevitable part of the show, and most predict there will also be an endurance competition. It should be an interesting episode, and for quite some time afterwards. (Buy the feeds now, folks!)

Before we get to all of that, though, we have some (heavily) edited footage to sit through, commencing with the reactions to Shane’s big veto replacement move. Boogie is not happy that he can’t go on “cruise control” this week. “I’m a little perturbed that they’re making me go back to work this week.” Ashley, of course, is ecstatic, but, obviously, Frank isn’t. He still believes he has the votes to stay in the house, though. Shane furthers this belief by whispering that their plan is still in effect. For some reason, we have to hear Danielle proclaim Shane’s move as wonderful, and we also have to listen to Joe scream some more about how he’s feeling better.

Frank joins Boogie in the bedroom, and attempts to calm him down by saying he’s still safe. “You knew you were getting nominated”, Boogie asks. Frank replies that if the noms were changed he knew it would be him. But “no matter what happens, you’re still good”. Boogie is pissed that Frank didn’t provide him these details. “I hate this lack of trust thing. What do we have to do to show we’re down?”

Britney then comes into the room with the biggest smile she’s had all season, and says “I know you’re pissed”. She again repeats the “forseeable circumstance” comment from Ian, and Boogie agrees he needs to be more careful with his words. Britney says that with Danielle the swing vote, Frank should be safe.

Wil is then shown heading into the HOH, and says that Shane’s move was amazing. They all pat themselves on the bat for awhile, and for some reason Ashley jumps into talking about the “spiritual world”. Everybody yawns as she rambles on, but then Shane says this was either the “biggest” or “stupidest” move in the game.

The camera shifts over to Ian in the have-not game, and he’s not happy that his biggest ally in the game is now up for nomination. He then joins Boogie and Frank, who consoles him while again relating the “forseeable future” story. “Don’t worry about it”, says Frank, urging him to remain calm. Boogie reminds him that all they need is Daniele’s help…and Dan.

For some reason, we then get to watch Britney and Janelle babble about menstrual and labor pains. Janelle says she never cries, and Britney is amazed. Britney feels that her lack of emotions is “a definite advantage in this game”.

With this filler over, we now see Janelle hanging out with Joe and Wil badmouthing Frank. Wil sticks up for Frank a bit, saying he’s not a bad guy. “(He’s) pure evil in this game”, replies Janelle. “Frank leaving is a best-case scenario for you. You’re getting your biggest competitor out of this game. This is a huge move for you, because they could have backdoored you but I had to keep you off the block. I kissed ass for three days straight.” Uh oh. Wil doesn’t take kindly to this conversation. “Thank you for saving me two weeks in a row”, he sarcastically replies.

Janelle carries on with this topic, and Wil is clearly getting more pissed off. Talk finally moves on to the next HOH competition, and Janelle says it will probably be an endurance comp. If it’s between him and Ian, will he make a deal with him? “I’ll tell him to go fuck himself”, says Wil. Janelle continues to talk over Wil, and the anger again rises before Wil finally walks away. Joe asks what the deal is, and Janelle’s reply is that he’s “just a bitchy guy”. Truthfully, she catches herself before she says something worse.

The next morning, Wil and Joe are sitting outside, and Wil asks his thoughts about Janelle. “She was all nervous about you last night.” Joe says he wasn’t quite sure what he witnessed last night, so Wil repeats that her claim that she was saved only because she kissed Frank’s ass the previous week.  Now Joe is freaked out, as Wil is one of HIS votes to stay.

Joe heads right back in the house to repeat (or should I say embellish) the story to Ashley. “I think he may have already joined their side”, he claims. Ashley heads out to grab Janelle, and Joe tells her that Wil is “insanely mad at you”. Joe now thinks they’re in “serious jeopardy”. This is doomsday for Janelle, or at least she claims in the diary room.

After the first commercial break, Janelle grabs Wil to clear the air. Wil claims he was made to feel like an idiot, and Janelle then whips out the tissue to create some fake tears. Ok, now I understand the inclusion of that earlier footage with Britney. She admits in the diary room that she’ll do anything to make Wil believe they’re still on the same team, and damned if she isn’t a competent enough actress. Ooooh, the closeup on her lips are horrific. Double oooh, Wil claims he is seeing right through her fake tears. I do like this guy. “I’m not buying it, but I’ll act along…but I’m not trusting her for another second in this house”.

Oh wait, there’s Dan. I almost forgot about him. Frank and Boogie are talking to him because to get Daniele’s vote “you have to go through Dan”. Frank says that Daniele is “completely protected” because it is Janelle’s players they’re going after. “I want to work with people in this game I can trust”, says Frank, who also asks Dan for a number on how much he trusts them. Dan babbles about how he has “game tape” on Boogie’s previous years, so their scores can’t be the same. To make sure we have doubts on who is going home, Dan yells at the diary room camera that he’s now unsure on how Daniele should vote.

Jump to Dan talking with Daniele, and Dan says he’d rather work with Frank and Boogie. She’s worried, though, that they’ll put her up this week, but is also excited about having some power this week. Unfortunately, she doesn’t want to anger her boy Shane, and Dan tells her to “stop liking” him. “He’s not your husband. He’s not going to be your boyfriend.” Daniele claims that she’s not thinking along those terms, but Dan isn’t buying it. “Nothing gets between me and my Shane”, he jokes, but Danielle claims she’s not letting Shane get between him and the prize money. Yeah, right.

It’s time for Julie’s meaningless chatter with the house, and she starts by asking what Ian has planned for the three grand that Boogie gave him after the coach’s comp. “Rent and necessities”, he replies. Boogie is then asked if it was difficult to take the bigger portion, but he doesn’t really answer except to say happy birthday to an uncle.

Oh Lord. Danielle is asked about her kiss with Shane. Ugh. On a scale of 1- 10, Daniele says it was a ten. Gross. Shane thoughtfully ups it to a 10.5. Footage of the coach’s comp is then shown to Janelle, and she just complains about her bruises. Thankfully, we’re now done with this segment.

Before we get to the actual eviction, we have to endure Julie’s talk with the HOH, Shane. He’s asked about his big move, and he babbles about the difficulty of balancing his thoughts with his coach. He admits that his relationship with Frank has suffered, and he can’t trust either Frank or Boogie. Of course, Julie has to ask about the FAKE kiss, but thankfully Shane says that he can’t have a showmance in the house! THANK THE LORD!!!

OOOOh, we get to see Frank’s dad, starting with his admission to Boogie that he’s Sid Vicious! After a little history lesson on Sid’s career, we head to Sid’s home. YES!!! Of course, Daddy thinks Frank is a huge target because he’s the greatest! Frank does admit that he hasn’t had the best relationship with his dad over the years, and we get the acoustic guitar music as Sid admits that the life of a professional wrestler means the children suffer. His mother adds that Frank would probably be surprised to hear how closely Sid has followed his son’s life in the house. Frank ends the segment by saying he hopes his father is indeed watching.

It’s finally eviction time, but before we get to it Julie has an announcement. She talks about how there have been theories throughout the season, and that there has been a poll on whether to allow them to enter the game. Julie opens the results of this vote, and America has (supposedly) voted to give them that chance. A coach can give up the right to be a coach, and if that does happen then there is NO eviction tonight. Instead, everybody would battle in tonight’s HOH competition. If the coach’s don’t remain in the game, then next week SOME of the evictees will have a chance to return to the game.

To make this work, the coaches will be brought into the diary room, and if any of them presses the reset button then they all re-enter the game. Britney is the first to choose, and after a moment of indecision she does indeed hit the button. Boogie then comes in, and doesn’t hit reset. Dan also hits the button, as does Janelle. Seriously, this was a poorly thought-out twist with zero chance of it not happening.

Julie then gives the news to the house, and they’re all led out back for the HOH competition. Boogie is clearly not happy. After commercials, we see that it’s a “hang on the wall” type endurance competition, and this time it is in the shape of a ship. Oh, and Shane is indeed allowed to play once again. Like always, after a minute or so the ship’s wall begins to move back and forth. And like always, after commercials they’re hit by water. My God, Grodner is so predictable!

That’s how we end his abortion of an episode. What are your thoughts? Are you glad Frank was saved (making two days in a row that my intro doesn’t work)? Do you like the coach’s twist? Let us know what you think!