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Thursday
Aug142014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 23 Recap

The boycott is over, and I’m back!

Tonight should be a pretty predictable episode, as there has been no doubt who is going home since the veto ceremony on Monday. Everything else will be the standard eviction night fare, with the only unusual item to be shown tonight should be the Dallas Cowboys practice session that was attended by Frankie, Caleb, and Christine.

So let’s get this over with, picking up with Christine replacing Zach with Nicole as a nominee. We start off with Cody and Christine heading up to the HOH, and he picks her up in a giant hug. Christine says that with this nomination she has “clearly chosen sides, and at this point I just have to keep my fingers crosses that The Detonators keep me safe and they’re still working with me.” Frankie and Caleb join them in the HOH, and Frankie also hugs her. The boys then wrestle in a frankly homoerotic fashion.

Christine is now outside, and Nicole asks if they can talk. “I’m not pissed. I’m hurt”, says Nicole. She adds that she is upset that Christine didn’t bother to come to her so she could defend herself against what the boys told her. “I deserve to know why I was sitting there.” Christine responds that a “lot of people” told her that the same thing would have happened to her if Caleb and Frankie had not lost BOB. Nicole says that she would have never backdoored her, and that she just agreed to anything the boys said. Nicole doesn’t believe her. “It was her own decision.” Nicole then breaks down in tears, saying she has “literally done nothing” to deserve this.

We move on to some footage that’s a bit out of place. Zach and Donny are in the Have-Not room, and Donny talks about how he’s been alone throughout the entire game. He tears up a bit, and Zach says in the diary room that he feels that Donny’s a great person. “I honestly kind of feel bad for the guy.” Donny says he’s still going to fight, but wonders what it is about him that scares people. “I have no idea”, replies Zach. “I think it’s the beard. Fear the beard.” It’s actually a touching scene, but came from last Saturday when Zach was still a nominee.

Victoria (who?) and Nicole are now laying in bed, and Nicole is blowing her nose in between tears. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. I just feel so terrible.” The two talk about how Christine and Nicole act like they’re married, and Victoria adds that the boys are just picking them off one by one. Nicole desides she needs to try to get the votes to stay.

Ok, a funny bit of footage here. Derrick and Cody are sleeping, and all of a sudden Cody punches himself in the face. He needs to do that more often. He wakes up, looks around, and rolls over.

Nicole has now grabbed Christine once again, and says that she has to make an attempt to stay. They gossip about Donny a bit, and Nicole adds that if she stays she will still be their biggest target. “Honestly, it’s getting through”, says Christine. “Donny, I don’t trust a bone in his body.” She really makes no sense these days. Finally, she says “I wouldn’t be upset if you stayed.”

Now Nicole moves on to Cody with her sob story. She says that she would never go after him or Derrick, but Donny would. Somehow, Cody believes that Donny is “scheming behind the scenes, plus there are rumors that I’m one of his targets.” Seriously, Cody is stupid.

Christine now reports to Derrick and Cody what Nicole said. “We’re (Donny’s) number one targets.” Derrick replies that Nicole is one of the smartest people in the house, but Cody wants to go after Donny. Derrick claims that he has to hear him out. “At this point, I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Yeah, right. That’s a nice reading of the script, copper!

After the first ad break, we get the promo for the upcoming Thursday Night Football. Yep, it’s time for the unlikely trio to visit the Cowboys training camp. It’s a waste of time. They all act hoot and holler like it’s exciting, and Caleb can’t wait to meet Jerry Jones. They get a tour of the facility, and there’s a bit of Frankie showing off. They then meet Mr. Jones, who provides them with some gear. Caleb is excited because Jones told him he looks like a player.

Various Cowboys then meet them and sign autographs, including Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, and Jason Whitten. The players all put on their game face and act like they know who these loons are, but obviously they don’t. They then view a bit of practice before heading back home. Well, home as in the Big Brother house, and they all read a promo for the upcoming season. A waste of time.

Julie then goes to the living room, and asks Caleb about the trip. He says his favorite person to meet was Jerry Jones. She moves on to ask about the drama in the house, and asks Victoria what was the most exciting part of the drama. Victoria doesn’t get the Ariana bait, though. Instead, she talks about how she cries. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Zach is then asked where things stand between him and Frankie, and he responds that he still hates everybody in the house. “But I hate Frankie the least! We made up, everything’s great, and he’s still my best friend.” Frankie is asked about playing solo in the BOB, and we move on without any mention of Ariana!

More commercials before final plea time. Nicole goes first, and flashes the audience with her short skirt. She thanks all of her friends and family, and then talks about how the game is her dream. Donny then thanks God, and also gives shout outs to his family. He says they’ve all been like little brothers and sisters to him.

Voting then starts with Caleb, who votes to evict Nicole, as does Zach, Cody, Victoria, Frankie, and Derrick. Yes, Nicole is out with a unanimous vote...as expected.

Ms. Chen announces the news...oh wait, there’s commercials first. After we return, she finally tells the house, and Nicole again flashes America. Blue panties? It’s a peaceful exit, as she smiles and hugs everybody.

The interview begins with the obvious question about being the first person to go from HOH to eviction. Nicole says “they gave me a lot more credit than what I really did in there...they maybe saw me as a huge threat”. She is then asked if she likes anybody in the house, and she says she loves Donny. The Christine friendship is then brought up, and Nicole says it was probably a smart move to put her up. “I’m  frustrated with her right now. I thought she was my friend. I don’t think very highly of her as a person, but as a game player (it was) a smart move”

Then we get the Ariana question. Ugh. Nicole apologizes to all of Ariana’s fans for trying to get him out. She then says she is looking forward to seeing Hayden, but doesn’t know if they have a future. Asked if it was everything she hoped it would be, Nicole says it was “awesome”.

Time for the goodbye messages. Christine says she was “one of the coolest girls I ever met”, and apologizes for what happened. Frankie says that he “admires your passion and knowledge of the game”, and going against her was “one of the most difficult things about being in this house”. Derrick gives her similar accolades, and Donny says she was the “last, closest friend in the house”, and hopes to remain friends with her. Julie then asks if she would do anything different if she could come back, and Nicole says that she wouldn’t trust so many people. Nicole then gets the news that she may get to go back in.

Now it’s the real moment of truth; the segment of the show that will determine just how interested I will be for the next seven days. Tonight’s HOH comp involves some “scary” images from last night, so we get some footage that begins with Zach teasing Nicole. A zombie then appears in the mirror, and Nicole screams. The rest of the house wanders downstairs to see what happened, and then Frankie and Victoria are scared in the bathroom. “Beastmode was even a little scared”, says Caleb. They all head into the Fire Room, and the lights go of for more “zombies”

A bunch are now in the living room, and the TV suddenly comes on from the “Big Brother System”. It’s a Zombie Apocalypse at the Big Brother house! A bunch of clues are then read off for them to remember for tonight’s comp. “Stay inside and start showmances immediately”, it says at one point.

Obviously, it’s a question comp, and it’s an “A/B” type called “Dead of Household”. Caleb is out on the first question, but they all get the second question correct. Donny and Victoria are then eliminated, which takes my hopes out of this week. Even worse, Zach is the next out! The three remaining players are again correct on the next three questions, but Cody then gets the following one wrong. Derrick and Frankie are the new HOH’s. Ugh, this suck donkey dick.

I’m skipping the final segment, as that godawful redheaded Reilly monster is given some airtime for reasons I’ll never understand. I’d rather even see Jeff again instead of her.

So that’s it! What did you think of tonight’s broadcast? Are you happy that Nicole’s whiny voice is gone? Are you happy that Frankie and Derrick are HOH? Tell us what you think!

 

Thursday
Aug072014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 20 Recap

Strap in, folks, as we’re due for a wild ride tonight. Double eviction night is easily the most exciting evening of the Big Brother season, and tonight should be no exception.

This is especially true after a wild turn of events last night that saw the target of the first eviction change. If you’ve been online at all in the last 24 hours you probably know what I’m talking about, but it was quite a shocking development.

Too bad you won’t see much of that tonight. Double eviction means there’s only room for one short segment of what’s happened in the house. Squeezing four days of footage into ten minutes is next to impossible, so you should probably tune into this week’s edition of The Big Brother Gossip Show on Saturday night for the full story.

So let’s not waste any more time. We left last night with Christine’s decision to not use the veto. Tonight we start off with Julie Chen making a joke about how both nominees were sleeping while the rest of the house was plotting their fate. It starts off with Cody telling Hayden and Derrick that “this week is pretty much locked up”. Is it? Their next move is to let Caleb in on it, and we get a fabulously hilarious shot of Caleb playing air drums. They all decide that it’s important to be careful so Zach doesn’t figure out what is about to go down.

Now Cody is inside whispering to Derrick, but stops when Frankie walks in. Cody gives Frankie a little wink, and Frankie admits the diary room that he’s a bit concerned, especially given the three-person alliance (LTA) that Zach told him about weeks ago. His plan is to ask Derrick what’s going on.

He does just that, pulling Derrick into the HOH. He asks Derrick why Cody is acting so paranoid towards him, and Derrick masterfully sways him. Derrick acknowledges that he has to do some “damage control”, and asks if Frankie feels dissension among the Detonators. They both talk about how Zach has made many promises, and Derrick adds “he may be manipulating you more than you think”. Yes, he’s good. He pretty much convinces Frankie that Zach needs to go home.

Frankie and Derrick now inform Caleb about the plan. “We want him out this week.” Caleb isn’t so sure. “At the end of the day, is he a number?” Derrick says that Zach talks too much, but Caleb still believes in the numbers. “I would be dumb to vote him out, as I have his vote no matter what”, he says in the diary room. Good job, Beastmode! He still agrees to do whatever the other boys decide.

We move on, and Derrick is now taking a shower. Derrick says that Caleb’s comment about numbers has resonated with him. “He might be a snake, but he’s my snake.” When Cody joins him in the bathroom, they talk about how they may need Zach after all. (Interesting editing going here, by the way.)

Finally, we get it. “Should we keep Zach”, asks Cody. “I think we should”, responds Derrick.

Cody then goes in and tells Christine that they need to talk. He tells her that Nicole had been planning on putting up Frankie if the veto had been used. Both Frankie and her were Nicole and Hayden’s new targets. Nicole interrupts them to get a sweatshirt, and then Cody carries on with the story. “This is unbelievable”, says Christine. Frankie joins them, and Cody also informs him that Nicole and Hayden are playing them. “So Zach is staying?, asks Frankie. “Let’s do it.”

Derrick then walks in, and the decision is finalized.

It’s now time to go to the house. Julie reads bullshit about the greatness of the twists, and then announces that the double HOH twist is now dead “for the next hour”. It’s double eviction night! Not only that, but tonight’s evictees are heading to jury. She also reminds them that “just because you’re out of the house doesn’t necessarily mean you’re out of the game.” Ugh, I hate returnees!

Time for the nominees final pleas. Jocasta goes first, and it’s the usual shout outs to Jesus and her family. Please, CBS, ban this practice! She tells the house that she loves them all, even though she knows their decision has already been made. “I hope you keep me because I appreciate it.”

Now is the plea we’re waiting to hear. “Julie, I don’t have anything planned.” Yeah, right. “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everyone here is great. I love each and every one of you. You’ve all touched my heart, and for that I’m so grateful. Maybe I’ll change my ways and not be so hateful. We’ve all made it to jury. We’re on the right track. Viewers at home, please hash tag Zach Attack. House guests, I’m begging you. Please give me another chance.” He then gives out his twitter and instagram nicknames. “Your decision tonight is crucial. The wrong choice may cost ya, so when you walk into that diary room please vote to evict Jocasta.” A little tamer than how he practiced it, but very nice.

Voting now starts with Donny, who votes to evict “Zach Attack”. Caleb then votes to evict Jocasta, as does Christine, Derrick, and Cody. A clueless Hayden votes to evict Zach, though, but Frankie and Victoria (who?) vote against Jocasta.

Julie then reads the results, and you can see a concerned look on Hayden’s face. Zach starts clapping as Jocasta begins hugging the cast. Nicole is also visibly stunned.

No need to recap Jocasta’s interview. It’s as idiotic as her diary room babbling. Thankfully, it’s a short segment.

Now it gets fun, as it’s time for the HOH competition. It’s a question comp with a classroom setting. The questions are math-related about happenings in the house, and they have to guess “more”, “less”, or “exactly” for each one.

Everybody except Caleb, Christine, and Zach get the first question correct. Wow! Zach starts “woo”-ing extremely loudly. Unfortunately, however, Zach is out on the next question. They’re both correct on the third question, but Christine is wrong on the next. Beastmode is the new HOH!!!

After commercials, Caleb has to make his nominations. The Detonators all run in from the bedroom, and “at the end of the day” Caleb chooses Hayden and Donny to “take the hot seat”. Hmmmm, interesting.

There’s another set of commercials before the veto competition, and when we return the it’s the old ball pit competition. They have to pull out three rubber ducks, and hit the buzzer to win.

Who is this strange unknown girl?Zach is first with a duck, followed by Donny. Zach has a second duck, followed by Hayden, Christine, and Caleb with their first. Donny gets his second duck, followed by Caleb. Victoria finally finds a duck, and Donny grabs his third. He must now fidn the veto, which he does, and collapses!

There’s more commercials before Donny inevitably uses the veto on himself. Caleb then replaces him with Nicole “based on what everybody’s been saying”. There’s even more adverts before we get to the serious business at hand. Hayden gets to plead his case first, and complains that he hasn’t been informed of everything that’s been going on in the house He then throws Frankie and Christine under the bus  for “planting seeds since day two”. He tells Zach that he thinks he’s a “cool dude”. He’s clearly flustered, and wants to stay to fight “them” (Frankie and Christine).

Nicole then stands, and immediately drives me nuts. “Wellll, ummmm, this is crazy. A lot of people are playing super dirty, obviously. Christine and Frankie did plant the seeds that they wanted Zach out this week, and obviously this is what they wanted to have happen. I really want to stay. I love being here, but I hope you vote to keep me.” The voice trails off as she finishes that last sentence.

Voting then begins with Cody, who chooses to evict Nicole. Christine, however, votes against Hayden, as does Derrick. Donny votes against Nicole. Frankie goes against Hayden, as does Zach and Victoria. Hayden is thus evicted, 5-2.

Julie gives the news to the house, and he hugs a teary Nicole. Derrick whispers in his ear as he heads to the door, and somebody sounds like they’re hyperventilating. Nicole is heard yelling at Christine as we wait for the interview.

Hayden was completely blindsided by the evening, from the very beginning with Jocasta’s surprise eviction. He knew that he was going up at that point, and says that he’s the most angry at Frankie. “They were my next targets, and the fact that they got me before I got them kind of sucks.”

Of course, we then have to hear about his phony showmance, which Julie describes as “the Jeff and Jordan of this summer, kind of”. Fuck off, Julie Chen. That’s the worst sentence you’ve ever read on the show. Hayden says he has no idea if the city boy and country girl will have a future after the show. The interview concludes with Julie reminding him that he may not be going to jury permanently. “Expect the unexpected”, she’s forced to erroneously read one more time.

There’s one more little clip before we head out, and it’s Derrick giving instructions to Victoria. Meanwhile, Nicole is bitching at Cody. The feeds are going to be good tonight!

That’s it, folks! What did you think? Were you excited Zach survived? Were you shocked that Hayden was evicted? Tell us what you think!!!



 

Thursday
Jul312014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 17 Recap

Welcome to what could be an extremely fun eviction episode. Why am I not my usual glum self? It’s simple. The Beastmode Douchebag is bound to be extremely entertaining. Without spoiling what is going to happen, he’s still completely clueless as to what is going to happen, even though his comrades have informed him of their plans. He’s going to explode! Or at the very least, he’s destined to say something stupid, or wear something ridiculous. There was even a promise that he’d interrupt Julie with a special commentary directed at Amber, although he was sadly told by production that this won’t happen.

Let’s not waste any time. We left off last night with Amber’s replacement of Victoria as a nominee, along with a hilarious rant from Zach. It’s the moment after Zach’s speech, and Amber refuses to talk to Frankie as she walks away. “You planned that. You all planned that.” She says in the diary room that she’s not going to let Zach get “under my skin”. She runs into Christine while walking into the bathroom, and she says “welcome to the club of Zach yelling at you”.

The camera switches back to the living room, and Hayden whispers to Jocasta that she won’t be going home this week. Victoria also tells her that she has nothing to worry about as tears begin to fall, but “in the house you never know”.

Caleb is now seen going into the have-not room to lay down, and he explains how the Amber nomination is just to “scare her. It’s to say ‘hey, you’re not always safe in this game’”. He continues to claim that he’s done “so much for this one person, and at the end of the day (ugh) we don’t want you to go home but we’re going to see how you react.”

Amber now walks outside, where Frankie, Christine, and Nicole are laying out in the sun. He apologizes to Amber, and she says she’s mad at Zach. “Why couldn’t he go up?” Christine and Nicole then ges up to leave, and she asks if she was put up for “personal reasons”. Frankie replies that it was because of what Caleb said about her. In the diary room, Frankie claims that he must act like he really doesn’t know, and tells her that she needs to ask Caleb. “You know how passionate Caleb can be.”

She walks back into the house, and finds Caleb reading the Bible. “Do you have something to say”, she asks. She tells him she’s heard that going on the block was his doing, and he admits to it. She wants to know why, and he reads from the Bible. “It’s so perfect.” Amber has no interest, but he says it’s about trust. He then complains that she’s been hanging out with Nicole, Victoria, “and all the other people instead of us.”

Amber can’t believe this. “You act like I’m aligned with someone else besides you guys. All of this that I’m hearing is like one big slap in teh face.” She then storms out of the room.

We now see Stalker Caleb staring at Amber through the patio door. He says he believes he may have made a mistake. Derrick then walks in and almost plows into the non-moving goof. Amber then walks in, and he asks if they can talk “without you walking off”.

They head back into the room, and he apologizes. “The one person I wanted to make a promise to and keep it in the house is you”. “Well, you just broke it”, she replies. He admits that he brought it up, and “they all said it was a good idea”. Meaning who, she replies. “The whole alliance”, says the dummy. She’s pissed with the news that they all knew. “I think I did everything wrong by helping others and not helping myself.” She tells Caleb she would never put him on the block.

Now Caleb heads up to the HOH, where Frankie is doign calisthenics. “Amber does nt deserve to be where she is, and I feel like such a sleazeball. It was a stupid decision.” Frankie replies that he thought it was a great idea when it was brought to him, and adds in the diary room that he’ll happily let Caleb take all the blame. “if she goes home, I’ll feel like the biggest asshole”, Frankie says with over-dramatic flair before hugging him. “I just wanted to do what was good for you when I saw you were wounded and hurt.” Of course, Frankie has to make a Brokeback Mountain joke about Caleb crying.

We move on to Amber being in the HOH with a number of people, and Zach asks her if she likes Caleb. She begins to tear up, and then walks out the door. She goes off into one of the rooms, and Christine comes in to comfort her. She explains how she feels pressure and she doesn’t like Caleb “like that..(and) if I’m here I have every right to put him up I want to”. Christine nods, but admits in the diary room that she’s loving this information. “We should keep her, and let her get Caleb out.”

She runs right to Zach, Derrick, and Frankie with this information. She wants to keep Amber, but Frankie thinks she’s “very dangerous”. He is still “elated”, though, as he can use this to “put the nail in Amber’s coffin”. His plan is to let Caleb know about this so that he’ll turn against her (again).

The boys, including Cody, now talk to Caleb in the HOH. Caleb wants to come to an agreement to keep Amber, and Zach asks if he believes everythng she says. Frankie then drops the bombshell that Caleb is now her target because “you’re ruining her game”. Uh oh! He doesn’t see that. “I’ve done nothing but help her game!” Zach is inspired by this turn of events, and eggs Caleb on (once again). Caleb gets up, and pushes Frankie aside when he attempts to keep him in the room. They all pretend to want him to stay, but celebrate as he storms out.

Dressed in a silly onesie and Amber’s bunny slippers, Caleb stomps down the stairs. He takes a seat in the living room, shocked by what he heard. “I feel like I got one of the biggest knives in my back,, and a dagger in my heart.” He takes off the slippers and tosses them aside as we head to commericals.

We return to Julie addressing the house. She offers condolences to Derrick for the loss of his grandfather, and then turns to Zach for his outbursts. He says “I can never keep my mouth shut. I want to reiterate the fact that all of you people in the room - I hate every one of you with every ounce of my body. It is what it is.”

Nicole is now asked about when Zach went off on her. She whines that she was shocked, “but I actually take it as a compliment because I like Fruit Loops and a dingus is adorably quirky”. Caleb is then asked a viewer question about the bunny slippers and the scarves. “Is this the way you dress at home?” He replies that it is. “They’re Amber’s slippers, and they fit good on my feet. I’ve been a have-not for two solid weeks (actually, no), and it’s cold so that’s where the scarves come out. Every once in awhile I like to be metro, you know. I”m a cowboy, but I throw some metro every once in awhile. I think Frankie is rubbing off on me.”

Julie then brings up the latest Team America mission that I forgot to report on last night. Well, I didn’t forget. I ignored it. This time, they have to vote against the majority of the house, and then blame two others. Derrick, who read the card, isn’t real happy with this mission because “it could put our long term games in jeopardy”.

Derrick goes to wake up Donny, but tells both Frankie and Donny separately. Derrick has a plan, but Donny’s not crazy about this plan. “It’s a character I don’t have inside the house, and I definitely don’t have it outside the house. These little young, smart people would know. I think it would blow my game.”  

Donny gives the news to the other two members that he doesn’t want to do it, but Frankie says they could claim that it was Zach that did it and everybody would believe it. Donny has no problems with the vote, but thinks the confronting part would be too out of character. “I chose to come play this game as Donny Thompson. I didn’t come across the country to have my game blown up.”

After commercials, it’s final plea time. Amber goes first, and thanks her family. She thinks Jocasta is a “wonderful woman”. She adds that she loves everybody, and “I think I’ve played a very, very honest and loyal game...I think it would benefit your game if I stayed in the house”.Notice Jocasta is not impressed!

Jocasta then thanks God and her family before saying that she is “so trustworthy”, and that she prays for all of them. “God bless you too, Julie”.

Voting now starts with Hayden, who votes to evict Amber, as does Victoria, Donny (sorry America, too risky), and Derrick before commercials. When we return, Zach votes against Amber, as does Caleb, Christine, Cody, and Nicole. Yes, it’s another boring unanimous vote.

Julie gives the house the news, and it’s pretty uneventful. She hugs a few people, accidnetally knocks into Zach, says she loves everybody, and heads out.

Wait, no fireworks from Caleb? He’s perfectly calm, and after Zach says she was “shocked” he replies that it’s what happens “when you bit the hand that feeds you”. Wait, what?

The interview begins with Julie asking who she feels most betrayed by with the unanimous vote. She says she doesn’t really know, as “I’ve played a very honest and loyal game”. She says it was probably Caleb, though, but “I’m sorry that I was not interested in him and I’m not going to pretend to be to win some money”.

Julie presses, asking if she’s shocked she didn’t get any votes. Amber replies that not really, and she thinks they all believe she was a flip-flopper even though she had no other alliance. She’d also like to see some of the girls start kicking out some of the guys. Julie follows it up about how the girls wouldn’t align with her to do that, but Amber had no answer to it. She also had no desire to blow up anybody’s game.

Caleb is then brought up (“oh my goodness”), and Amber agrees that it did “really affect my game...he has my bunny slippers still. Can I please get them back?” Flirting with Cody is also brought up, but Amber says he was like a brother to her. She now says that maybe his betrayal is what hurts her the most.

The goodbye messages are now shown, starting with Zach. “I’m extremely happy that you’re gone. I know you were coming after me, and this is better for my game. I don’t regret anything I said at the veto meeting. I just wish that I had more time to ether you even more.”

Christine then says that she loved being in the Bomb Squad with her, and outs the Detonators. “Honestly, Caleb’s next.” Donny then tells her that she was somebody “I relate to more than anybody else in the house. You’re a little taste of home in the way you talk and the way you carry yourself.”

Now here’s the moment we were waiting for. Caleb in his dumb onesie with the hood up telling her “at the end of the day, Amber Bamber, I’m still the king of this house, and the slipper just don’t fit you anymore. my Queen.” Holy shit, he actually put his stupid crown as he said that line! Before she heads out, Julie asks her if she’ll be Caleb’s date for the finale. “No!!!”

With Amber now gone, it’s time for the HOH competition. Julie explains that yesterday, the house got to watch videos from the house, and we’re shown footage of that happening. Yes, we get to watch videos of them watching videos. Scintillating, right? It’s even worse when Nicole’s screeching voice describes what they were seeing.

As expected, it’s an “A/B” competition called “Getting Loopy”. Ok, it’s actually “True/False”. Either way, it’s questions. Everybody gets the first question correct, but Jocasta is out in the second round. (Of course.) They’re all right on the third, fourth, and fifth questions, but Victoria, Derrick and Christine are out on the next one. They’re all correct for four more questions, but Cody is then eliminated. Again, they all get the next question correct, but they have now run out of time. Wait, what?

After commercials, Julie runs through the schedule once again. Why not ask a question here? That’s it? Come on. I have a feeling it was more of a factor of running out of questions rather than running out of time.

Well, I’m not going to spoil who actually wins it on the live feeds. You’ll have to wait for Ash’s recap!

I’m actually a bit underwhelmed tonight. Just like Devin three weeks ago, Caleb failed to live up to expectations. I wanted dramatics! I wanted screaming! Outside of his crown stunt, he was boring! What did you think?

 

 

Wednesday
Jul302014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 16 Recap

Before we begin, a bit of an apology for the lack of Sunday recap. The truth is that sometime during that afternoon, I suddenly felt burnt out. The weekend was just way too buys. Besides Saturday’s Big Brother Gossip Show, I also had my music show on Friday night, and spent much of Saturday on a new BBG theme.

On Sunday, I had yet another job to do. I write for my local newspaper, and Sunday is the day that I transcribe musician interviews to turn into a story. Usually, these interviews are around fifteen minutes long, and it takes approximately two hours to transcribe and turn into a story.

This past week’s article, though, was much different. I interviewed Ian Astbury from The Cult, and he was a talker! I expected a normal type of chat, but it wasn’t until almost an hour later that I was able to wrap it up.

So after three hours of transcribing on Sunday, I was only a third of the way finished. I was in misery. I emailed my editor for a 24-hour extension, and then decided to just veg out in front of the TV. The last thing I wanted to do was to turn on my computer.

I finally did watch the episode, though, and there really wasn’t anything surprising or shocking. There was the usual segments inserted from previous days (or weeks), lots of fun footage of Zach acting like a loon, and the nominations and BOB winners we already knew. The only thing that came out of nowhere was some of Jocasta’s diary room comments. Who knew she could be funny?

So tonight’s episode is bound to be lots of fun. There will be plenty of antics from Zach, and also more insanity from Caleb. it’s a different kind of insanity this time, however!

Let’s get this over with, starting with the reactions to the not-so-shocking Nicole and Christine’s BOB victory over Jocasta and Victoria (who?). Frankie is shown heading up to the HOH, and he hugs Zach. Obviously, he’s pleased that he’s the “sole HOH of the week” who is now going to go after Amber. “We need to get Caleb on board.” Frankie and Zach talk about who they would pick to play in the veto if Frankie gets “house guest choice”. Zach adds in the diary room that he believes he’s in a great place because his boy is HOH, and “Amber has gotta go! Boom!”

Cute music comes up as Nicole and Christine celebrate. Ugh, I have to hear Nicole’s voice. It’s the worst. They’re both happy that Frankie is the sole HOH, as Zach is an “idiot”.

Meanwhile, Victoria (who?) is crying with Cody, and Jocasta walks in. Victoria blames Jocasta for their loss, but Jocasta blames Victoria. “Being partners with Victoria is like being partners with a toddler.” Jocasta attempts to give her a bit of a pep talk, but it does little good.

More filler, as Cody, Frankie, and Zach are once AGAIN talking about alliances. Cody doesn’t want to form a new one, so Zach says “if you’re not with us, you’re against us. We’re the ‘bros’”, and Hayden is supposedly included in this idiocy.

Zach then decides to go mess with the Have-Nots. His plan is to sit next to Christine and Nicole and eat snacks in front of them. Cody complains that “this kid is going so far overboard”. He asks them if they want some jerky, and then starts nibbling. Hey, anything that messes wtih that waste of space Nicole is great for me, especially when he adds “that’s what you get for being lazy”. Christine is pissed, and asks “why the heck am I still in an alliance with him?”

Cody and Frankie are also pissed, and are upstairs bitching about America’s favorite wild card. “He’s Devin”, says Cody. Frankie replies that if everybody wants him up, he’ll do just that. Sure you will, Frankie.

Frankie then attempts to calm down Zach. He asks him to not be so antagonistic with people, and says in the diary room it’s so that people don’t come to him begging to nominate Zach. “Ok, I just won’t open my mouth”, replies Zach. There’s one problem, however. Frankie is part of Team America (Fuck Yeah!), and still has to get two house guests to argue at the upcoming veto ceremony. “I need Zach to explode, but it has to be at the right time.” Frankie offers the suggestion of a veto speech, and Zach says he’ll do it “for me, for you, and for us”.

Ugh, another Nicole segment. She does the worst striptease ever to get rid of her Germitard, but Hayden claims it turns him on.

Now a dejected Victoria (who?) watches the boys play pool. I mean it’s ridiculous, as she cowers around the backyard wall. Hayden explains that he must remain friendly to her, as she can be used to help them, and then asks her if she’ll pick him for house guest choice in the veto comp. She replies, “if you want me to” as we see dumb Nicole turn her head to see Hayden draped over Victoria’s shoulders. “Are they making out?” Hayden promises to use the veto on her if he wins as Nicole wonders if they’re making out.

Hayden now gets the silent treatment. He asks Nicole if she wants to go in the hot tub, and then explains how he was cheering up Victoria by telling her to stop crying. Of course, Nicole believes Victoria wants him. She even asks Hayden if they made out. Ugh, she sucks. I’m sorry, but I just can’t hide it.

Uh oh, Derrick is now called to the diary room. He receives a letter stating that his grandfather passed away. He comes out and tells everybody, but says he needs time alone. He leaves the letter for the rest of the house to read, and heads into the have-not room to cry. Poor Derrick. Unlike a certain other person who received similar news, he handled it with complete class and grace.

Caleb is seen reading the letter, and the news spreads to the rest of the house. Derrick comes back out to the living room, and the house sits in silence. “I have to use this in a positive way to motivate me”, he adds in the diary room. “This is for you, Pepe.”

That’s a good spot for commercials, and we come back to Caleb and Amber in the kitchen. He asks her if pickles need to be refrigerated, but she doesn’t answer. There’s a flashback to Caleb’s “best date ever”, but he complains that she’s now ignoring him. “I have no idea why she’s acting the way she’s acting.” He continues on, as he has done all season, and the rest of the boys egg on his behavior by saying she doesn’t deserve him. It’s really ridiculous.

Caleb is seen pacing the backyard by himself, and he now claims he’s “no longer the romantic guy. I’m beastmode cowboy. Even if she tried to talk to me today, I’d say ‘you know what? Play your game, Amber’.”

Hmmm, from that we jump to Frankie and Zach’s homoerotic friendship. They give each other backrubs in bed, and pretty much just climb all over each other. “It’s too bad I”m not gay”, says Zach. “I’d absolutely marry you”, replies Frankie, who doesn’t believe he’s straight. “Zach, are you going to make a move? Just do it.”

Now it’s time to pick veto players. Jocasta is hoping she gets Donny’s name, as he’s saved her before. Frankie picks first, and indeed gets Donny. Victoria grabs the house guest choice, and picks Hayden. Nicole is not happy. Jocasta then pulls out Christine’s name, and for some reason screams it really loud. Christine is still pissed at being nominated, and says that if she wins she’ll keep the nominations the same. “I don’t want Amber out. They do.”

Zach and Frankie are happy with that draw, and celebrate in the kitchen. Amber comes into the same area, and says she wants the nominations to stay the same. “No more shady business.” Frankie lies and says he doesn’t think anything will change.

Most of the house is now seen in the living room, and stupid Caleb is dressed in the HOH robe. When Amber comes in and plops down on the couch, Caleb leaves the room. “I can’t even look at Amber right now”, he claims. “You want to play around and not want to talk to the king of this house...then why are you hear.”

Caleb ends up in the HOH, and tells Frankie and Jocasta about what happened. Frankie tells him to stay away from Amber. “My plan is literally falling into my lap”, he says in the diary room. Caleb adds that there is “no more romantic cowboy in this house”. What a loon.

After more commercials, it’s time for the veto competition. It’s a cowboy-themed competition, which obviously makes Caleb happy...even though he’s not playing in it. Donny claims to not be happy about the realistic-looking fake snakes.

So the contestants have to rock their “horse” sixty times to get thirty seconds of time to stack gold bars. There’s a little twist that if they fail, they can agree to slop for a week to stay in the game.There’s a lot of bad puns and claims of having to win the comp, but eventually Hayden does indeed win. BTW, what kind of coaching has turned on Jocasta in the past couple of episodes? She’s never this lively on the feeds. It certainly didn’t help her in the competition, as she was forced to take the week of slop to stay in the running.

Time for Operation Amber to begin after more adverts. The boys are all upstairs asking Hayden if he’s going to use the veto, and he says he will be using it on Victoria to backdoor Amber.

Amber now walks upstairs in booty shorts, and it’s pretty chilly in the room. Caleb just stares at her, and Zach says in the diary room the plan is to get Caleb to agree to this move of nominating her. “I smell blood in the water.” Caleb leaves the room, and Zach asks Amber what is going on with them. “Why did you guys break up?” Ha, Zach is the best!

“Next up - stir Beastmode’s pot”, brags Zach. He races downstairs to tell Caleb about how Amber is complaining about him. It’s so funny to watch. This may be my favorite segment of the year, especially since he believes putting up Amber is to scare her, not to evict her. Beastmode has to teach his Queen a lesson, after all! “It’s too easy”, exclaims Zach.

Caleb heads upstairs to the HOH to talk to Frankie, and says that they should convince Hayden to pull down Jocasta and put up Amber. “She’s floating to the other side”, he says. Caleb somehow believes he “runs this house”, and Frankie plays up to everything he’s saying. Caleb is convinced that this will make her come running to him. “I am the only person that can save you in this game.” Frankie is loving every second of this, and can’t decide which of these two is more clueless.

Oh yeah, we still have the Team America (Fuck Yeah!) silliness, so we get another Team America meeting. The plan is to get Zach to go nuts at the veto ceremony after Amber is nomination, and Donny has no problem with Amber being nominated. In fact, he believes it to be a swell plan, and is happy to have a “front row seat”.

Now’s the moment of truth. Hayden takes a look at the memory wall, and calls the house in. Jocasta says that she should come down because she’s “trustworthy” and “loyal”, and that Hayden is not a target. Victoria claims that she has “proven” that she’s a true competitor (wtf?). Hayden then pulls down Victoria.

Frankie, who is sitting next to Amber, then gets up and announces that his new nominee is Amber. She’s relatively calm about it, and then Hayden announces that the veto meeting is adjourned.

Before the box can be slammed shut, though, Zach jumps up because he has something to say. Here we go! “Amber, you’re sitting right where you belong, and you’re on your way out the door. I couldn’t be happier. Beastmode Cowboy has already saved you twice in this game. He risked $500,000on you, more than all of your boyfriends have spent on you combined. When you were both have-nots, not everyone gave you their blankets. Beastmode Cowboy gave you his blankets. And to top it all off, he ate a pickle. A frickin’ pickle. The food he hates more than anything in the world. He nearly threw up all over the kitchen just so you would go on a date with him. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Amber is silent. “No?”, replies Zach. “Huh, that’s funny, because that’s what you have been saying to him this entire summer. It’s just really pissing me off, and I had to say something.”

Unfortunately, the mission failed although it was great fun to watch. Amber says that Zach didn’t have to pull this prank, and Jocasta thinks this scene was good for her. “Thanks, Zach. You did me a solid.”

So that’s it! What did you think of tonight’s episode? Was the Zach Attack great entertainment? Could Caleb be any dumber? Is Nicole’s voice the worst in Big Brother history? Tell us what you think!